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Thread: How To Date

  1. #1
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    Thumbs up How To Date

    Release Your Inner

    What do you do if you don’t happen to be part of a huge social network of friends and meddling family

    members? Or you’ve already cut a swath through your entire social circle? Or you just moved to a new city?

    Well, open your eyes and look around. Half the country is single (49.6 percent of all households, according

    to an August 2004 census report), so you can pretty much figure that at least half of the people around you are too.

    Unfortunately, the first thing most of us do when we spot someone we’d like to meet is walk right up and . . . avoid

    them. After all, they’re probably seeing someone. Or they’re married. With a couple of kids. And a huge drinking

    problem. And debt—lots and lots of debt.

    Excuses, Excuses
    “Instead of making an attempt to flirt with

    people they’re attracted to, most people will just make a list of excuses,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk

    to Strangers (2005). “A woman will be in line at a Starbucks and she’ll spot a good-looking guy, but instead of

    talking to him, she’ll say, ‘Oh, he looks busy, he’s probably married, he may be unstable.’ People will look for

    every possible excuse just to make themselves feel better for not taking a chance.”

    Why? Because we’re


    “Everybody suffers from the same disease,” says Wygant. “Everybody has this fear of strangers. But

    strangers are the ones who hold the key to your dating future.”

    Rather than freezing people out, Wygant

    suggests finding some small way to flirt with them instead. In fact, he promotes flirting with everyone and

    everything we come in contact with—men, women, children, even pets. Does that mean we all have to go out there and

    start doing the Legally Blonde “bend and snap”? Or turn into relentless mate-hunting machines?

    Not at all. It

    just means we need to pull that antisocial stick out of our a**—at least partway.


    “People need to lighten up, start smiling at each other,” says Wygant. “They need to go out there and

    do some verbal batting practice.”

    When and where should we be doing all this practice? Everywhere.


    Interesting people are all over. They’re at the coffee shop in the morning, the dry cleaner’s in

    the afternoon. They’re sitting one booth over at our favorite Thai place, or waiting for us to finish our biceps

    curls at the gym. They’re pumping gas next to us, buying toilet paper behind us. They may even be checking out your

    a** as you read this page.

    What do you have to do to meet one of these people? Try acknowledging their

    presence, for starters. Make eye contact. Smile and say hello. Ask them what time it is. If they think it’s going to

    rain. If they know if the food at the new Italian place down the street is any good. If their dog bites. You don’t

    need to sacrifice your dignity or employ vast amounts of subterfuge; just drop some form of metaphorical hankie

    (along with that ubiquitous antisocial stance). Engage with them in a nonthreatening and—if you can pull it

    off—charming manner. If all else fails, just do what this woman did to meet Kent, a fortysomething single from


    Bus Stop
    "Every day I ride a train, take a bus, and then walk through downtown to get to work.

    And rarely does anyone make any effort to just chat. Something just seems to keep people from connecting. But one

    day, this girl waved at me on a bus. So I went up to her and asked “Do you always wave to strange men on the bus?”

    she said she’d noticed me a couple of times and was new in town (she’d just moved to Seattle from Reno), and that

    was that. We struck up a conversation and it turned out we had a lot of similar interests, so we started dating. And

    we’re still dating today."

    (From "How To Date in a Post-Dating World" Website
    Last edited by belgareth; 01-12-2013 at 04:04 PM.

  2. #2
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    great article!!!
    If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. be2 dating

  3. #3
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sugar View Post
    great article!!!
    Agree with Sugar.

    My technique is my often twisted sense of humor. I figure if I can make people laugh I am already half way there. Never pushy and never a pest, just a nice guy with a sense of humor. It seems to help me meet people.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Default Hi

    Wow this is a great post. My technique is buying her something thing unique and cute. It really works for me. I will definitely try this next time soon. Dating is not a simple game, it a full time job. I would like sharing a quote here:

    "Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love."

    <Link removed>
    Last edited by belgareth; 09-06-2011 at 03:47 AM.

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    Very good article!! Thanks for it.

  6. #6
    Stranger Aalia Nebhan's Avatar
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    Being honest, Loving and True is the only way to go during dating. On dates generally bring loving gifts, the words you say also greatly matter, be trustworthy to her and always honest about your emotions towards him/her

  7. #7
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Very nice. Thanks.
    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha

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