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Thread: Boy Becomes Man

  1. #1
    Stranger lovely_angel86's Avatar
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    Aug 2010
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    Default Boy Becomes Man

    Men fart too

    much. They do it a lot. They laugh and joke about it and even admit with great pride their best accomplishment. I am

    confident tonight in my slumbering sleep that the silence of the dark forest will be broken by the thundering roar

    of the men’ evening dinner.
    The dawn harkens the call of anal artillery. Each pungent bouquet is accompanied

    by a booming report. And when the rectal siren’s song ceases to echo of the distant canyon walls, the evidence

    remains in the men’s gravy stained shorts. As my eyes water from the acrid clouds of digestive emissions, I

    find that I am filled with envy. The thought of sharing in the majestic poot pageantry makes my rectum tingle with

    As the sun rises, I slowly feel the tingling sensation of my sphincter screaming for a joyous bowel

    movement. Knowing the brewing long can be mined for methane, I see my opportunity to freshen the air.
    The pleasant,

    painful pressure wells within my gut. I see in the faint distance the cedar sided shack, and as life often does, I

    am faced with a crossword decision. My alimentary earnestness beckons me. Shall I deposit a corn studded butt bone

    in that fly infested hole of fuming human compost? Or shall I retain possession until such time as I can spray foul

    air in a glorious reverberation of the pine boards on which I sit.
    My decision becomes crystal clear as one of the

    men lifts his left cheek and carves off a generous slice of roast booty beef. Manhood is just around the corner. I

    summon my great reserve of abdominal energy and push out my bunger like there is no tomorrow.
    My straining is

    instantly rewarded. A large bubble of intestinal gas blows its way through my southerly canal. As it exists, an

    ensuing vacuum pulls my buttocks back together with a deafening clap.
    As the men in the camp, their ears ringing,

    look around for the agent of their sensory discomfort, I can only try to hide my shame in filling my pants with

    syrupy warmth. But shame gives way to pride, for I can see in the nodding, approving glances of the others that I

    have become a man.

    Last edited by belgareth; 08-26-2010 at 02:40 AM.

  2. #2
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    Middle Kingdom
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    Hilarious! And very well


    My rite of passage came around the time of Jr High School, and our locker room was the crucible of

    fire for any boy who hoped to scrabble up the fart chain to become champion.

    Our reigning hero had, among other

    talents, the ability to rip-on-demand. He could run faster, bench press more cheerleaders and had such sublime

    sense of timing that each expiatory report elicited a specifically desired range of response.

    The rest of us were

    left to merely embarrass ourselves. I did manage to raise my standing once purely by accident when, during a pause

    in a particularly boring lecture, I loosed a prize-winning cattle call. Even my girlfriend laughed, and I was the

    talk of the hallways between periods.

    Glory Days...

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