These great
questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever not
scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver:
Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A.
George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me a wake.
Q. According to
Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask
him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to
diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more
than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough " ?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but
it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a
gesture you' ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because
chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any
during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In
bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste
to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately
Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only
after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A.
Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A.
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there
anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the
army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be
abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a
longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q.
When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest
is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them
on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers,
what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
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