We all get 'em,

some are better than others. Keep it clean and civil, but not too much.

Each year The Washington Post has a

contest where readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
These are 2006-winners...

1.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have

gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an

explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which

you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an

olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a

steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an

exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he

examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Pokemon

(n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes
up on the

roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.