We all get 'em,
some are better than others. Keep it clean and civil, but not too much.
Each year The Washington Post has a
contest where readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
These are 2006-winners...
1.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an
explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which
you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an
olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a
steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an
exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he
examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
14. Pokemon
(n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes
up on the
roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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