9) My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said,
'Dust.'
And that’s when the fight started...
10)
My wife was
hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And that’s when the fight started...
11)
I tried to talk
my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better
at night than the cold
cream.
And
that’s when the fight started....
12) My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look
big.
I told her
not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And that’s when the fight
started.....
13)
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent
babies. Suddenly, at
3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman,
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man
jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and
to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later, he returned
and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM
your husband!'
The woman yelled back,
'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And that’s when the fight started.....
14)
I asked my wife,
"Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the
kitchen?"
And
that's when I got killed.
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