The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to
be able to

think fast enough to respond like this .....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena

the
Wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check

out. A woman behind me asked if
I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired,
with

little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that
I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds

before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms..



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets

with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally


complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by

now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food

poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I

thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack,
he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me

shop there anymore.