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Thread: Oldie but fun

  1. #1
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Oldie but fun

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    How do these people

    survive?

    ONE

    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
    order of 6, 9 or

    12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
    don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at

    the counter. "You
    don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I
    can't order a

    half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I
    shook my head and ordered six

    McNuggets

    ----------------------

    TWO
    I was checking out at the local

    Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady
    behind me

    put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
    "dividers" that they keep by the cash register

    and placed it between our
    things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
    items, she

    picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so
    she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she

    said to me, "Do you know how
    much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
    that

    today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had
    no clue to what had just

    happened.

    -------------------

    THREE
    A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive

    and
    pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
    said she was shopping on the

    Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
    number, so she was using the ATM

    "thingy."

    -------------------

    FOUR
    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you

    need
    some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
    to this remote door unlocker.

    Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
    (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to

    fit this?"
    "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
    thingy," she answered,

    handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
    and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you

    drive over there
    and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

    --------------------

    FIVE
    Several years

    ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was
    typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm

    almost out of typing paper.
    What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With
    that, the

    intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
    photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"

    copies.

    --------------

    SIX
    I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
    into the

    garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
    whole thing generally looked like an extra in

    "Twister." I asked the manager
    what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
    and then

    went in the back to make a sandwich.

    -------------

    SEVEN
    My neighbor works in the operations department in

    the central o ffice of a
    large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
    their computers.

    One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
    banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from

    the back of my
    terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

    ----------------

    EIGHT
    Police in Radnor , Pa ,

    interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander
    on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.

    The message
    "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button
    each time they thought the

    suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the
    "lie detector" was working, the suspect

    confessed.

    ------------------

    NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
    take

    her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher
    tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and

    it should be fine, the mother
    says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to
    emergency

    room!

    Life is tough.

    It's tougher if they are stupid
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  2. #2
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Default

    The there's the one about

    someone plugging the surge suppressor cord into the surge suppressor and wondering why nothing worked.

    Bel, I'm

    sure you know about the error code: ID 10 T


  3. #3
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default

    Oh, yes! I know both of them

    well. I'm also familiar with the loose nut between the keyboard and the chair. Would you believe that I drove more

    than thirty miles once to plug in a guy's monitor? He told me several times that he had checked the power cord but

    it was still unplugged when I got there. Then he was upset about the service call charge, which included travel

    time!
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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