I like Okra. When I lived
in Texas distance was measured in beers drunk, "how far to the beach daddy? Only 3 more beers kids"
The good
ole days.
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in
Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of
spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen
before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick
ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are
words.
6. It is not a shopping cart,
it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means
'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat
okra.
9. 'fixinto' is one
word.
10. There is no such thing as
'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do
like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about
you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is
actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work
until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH
EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question
'Did you bring any beer?'.
17. You
measure distance in minutes.
18. You
switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or
animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG'
is.
21. You carry jumper cables in
your car --- for your OWN car.
22.
You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Head Country, Tabasco and
Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover
national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and
motorsports.
24. You think that the
first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit
warm'.
26. You know all four
seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27... Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to
Wally World'
28. You describe the
first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white
meat.
30. We don't need no dang
driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can...besides that, we've been driving since the age of
8.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends
and those who just wish they were from Texas
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
I like Okra. When I lived
in Texas distance was measured in beers drunk, "how far to the beach daddy? Only 3 more beers kids"
The good
ole days.
There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!
In East Carolina...
All
festivals are named after seafood.
Two pickup trucks stopped on a two lane road next next to each other...
"Carolina Telephone".
If your employees don't show up for work either the surf's up or the Trout are
runnin'.
You "cut off the lights"
A long distance is a "fer piece".
If its tourist season, why can't you
shoot them?
The tide got so high the sharks et the collards.
And of course BBQ is chopped pork from an open
spit with a vinegar based sauce. There's only one thing hotter and sweeter, or vice versa if you make the wrong
choice in a woman.
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