They're Back!

Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for church ladies with computers. These sentences actually appeared

in church bulletins
or were announced in church services (Summer, 2006 Release).


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference

includes meals.



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The sermon this

morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'




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Our youth basketball team is back in action

Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.




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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.

It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.




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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today

has been canceled due to a conflict.


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Remember

in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone

who doesn't care much about you.


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Don't

let worry kill you off - let the Church help.


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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.




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For those of you who have children and don't

know it, we have a nursery downstairs.


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Next

Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.




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The Pastor will preach his farewell message,

after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'




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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married

on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.




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At the evening service tonight, the sermon

topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.




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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due

to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.




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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and

other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.




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Please place your donation in the envelope

along with the deceased person you want remembered.


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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.




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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and

medication to follow.


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The ladies of the

Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.


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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in

the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.




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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday

morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.




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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies

of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.




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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.

Please use the back door.


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The

eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is

invited to attend this tragedy.


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Weight

Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.




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The Associate Minister unveiled the

church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'.