Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions

in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still

trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third

language.




Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and

livestock.




Baby conceived naturally! Scientists

stumped.





Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual

marriage.

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Iran still closed off;

physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe

levels.



France pleads for global help

after being taken over by Jamaica
. No other country comes forward to

help the beleaguered nation!







Castro finally dies at age

112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all

smoking.







George Z. Bush says he will run for President in

2036.







Postal Service

raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.







85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is

the key to weight loss.







Average weight of Americans drops to 250

lbs.

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Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive

year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
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Japanese scientists have

created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.







Senate still

blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on

Tuesdays and Fridays.


[B]
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B]

[COLOR=

purple]Massachusetts
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executes

last remaining conservative.






Supreme Court rules

punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


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OR=#804040]


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Average height

of NBA players is now nine feet, seven

inches.



n



New federal law requires that

all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January

203
0.






IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


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#804040]




Florexico

voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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