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Thread: Taser

  1. #1
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Taser

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    Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my

    interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

    What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket / purse sized taser. The effects of the taser were
    supposed to be

    short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

    WAY TOO COOL...

    Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

    I loaded 2 AAA batteries in the

    darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing. I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND

    pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth

    between the prongs.??

    AWESOME!!!?

    Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the

    face of her microwave!

    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all

    that bad with only 2 AAA batteries, right?





    There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the

    directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit

    I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought
    better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

    But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance

    that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

    So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading

    glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

    The directions

    said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause

    muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on

    the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
    than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the

    while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in diameter; pretty cute really

    and (loaded with 2 itsy, bitsy, AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"??

    What happened next is

    almost beyond description, but I'll do my

    best...

    [S

    IZE=5]I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to

    say, "don't do it dumbass," reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all

    that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
    naked thigh,

    pushed the button and...

    HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

    I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in

    through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over

    again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both

    nipples on fire, testicles
    nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and

    tingling in my legs!

    The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my

    face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, stupid, do it again!"

    Note: If you ever feel compelled to

    "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap

    yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the

    floor. A three-second burst would
    be considered conservative.

    SON-OF-A GUN... That hurt like hell !!!

    A

    minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a not relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what

    little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

    How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had

    been shot up with
    Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a

    significant reward for their safe return!!

    P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

    [/SIZE]




    If you think Education is difficult, try being

    stupid...
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

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    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Is that for real? Haven't really

    heard details like that before.
    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha


    Yoga in Eugene
    Fair Trade crafts from Peru

  3. #3
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    I have no idea if it is real.

    But it was funny.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    The taser gun, is been talked

    about down here in Australia,for a while. It is a very dangerous weapon that if used incorrectly and or on people

    with heart problems can have very menancing effects. Like Death, and infact a taser was used on someone in a

    airport, contributed to someone
    death. Police want to make it compulsory to have one down here. Im sure if you

    google it on the net there is much info on it.

    It opens up a pandora box on its use when and how, and the laws

    relating to it?

    But your story is funny.

  5. #5
    Phero Enthusiast Numanoid's Avatar
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    Talking

    Funny!

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    Very funny, in a self

    destruction kind of way. Tasers are dangerous, im suprised, Bel, that you went that far and zapped yourself, knowing

    your science background and such, I would have thought you would know the painful conclusion of such an act.

    Like

    woofa said, Tasers, are weapons that are supposed to debilitate an offender temporarily, but people with low immune

    system, others with nervous problems, and heart conditions, can die from a stun.

    Maybe the pepper capsicum spray

    is the way to go for some S AND M on a saturday night, at least you know you wont die for it, might go blind

    though......lol

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    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Too funny... Bel didn't

    actually zap himself bronzie, its from one of those email jokes. I've read a lot of your old posts, good to see

    you.

  8. #8
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Hi Bronzie,

    That wasn't

    me, I only posted it. I have better sense and don't write as well as that.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    sorry Bel, yeah I did question

    if you had done that to yourself, but sure you can write like that..... I know you have better sense, but who knows,

    anything is possible in this world, I once shot myself in the hand (lucky for me, I just grazed it) with a fishing

    spear gun, (not on purpose ofcourse) so there you go....

    hi idesign, hows it going? been behind on the phero news

    and forum.....good to see you guys here

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    very funny!

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    Bronzie, were have you been bro.

    Tasers = Insanity. Looked on he net as to how many deaths there has been with tasers. And there has been a few.



    Like i said if used incorrectly and on the wrong people ie people with heart problems. Will cause major

    problems!

  12. #12
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Beats the hell out of what a

    gun or nightstick will do. Overall, tasers have probably saved thousands more lives than they have taken.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  13. #13
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth View Post
    Beats

    the hell out of what a gun or nightstick will do. Overall, tasers have probably saved thousands more lives than they

    have taken.
    Probably, and hopefully, you are correct; even though I read about local fatalities from them on

    a regular basis. I'd be interested to see correlations between the introduction of tasers, and the incidence of

    lethal force, in particular communities. I'm not going to assume what this data indicates, however, until I see

    it.

    The problem with them, at least in the local statistics and studies I've read, is that they tend to be

    consistently overused. And the deaths that do result from them tend to be "controversial", to put it mildly, simply

    because such deaths are virtually always unintended.

    Police have tended to view them as sort of generic crowd

    control; not so different from pepper spray. This is a problem with training. The training on the use of tasers

    tends to lag significantly behind the data. Hopefully that is changing for the better, as we slowly start to

    understand the medical phenomena associated with them. To date, we have been sort of "shooting from the hip" with

    them; that is, using them on a regular basis without an understanding of what they do medically.

    Recent data

    certainly underscores that we shouldn't think of them as non-lethal force.

    But no question, they are a useful,

    "less lethal" weapon. I have about ten cops in my family, and I wouldn't want them to be without these weapons.

    Better training, supervision, and accountability around the use of these weapons are key.

    At least we now have

    the versatile "Don't taze me, bra!" in popular culture.

    Anyway, funny post. You can always count on the

    Bellster to bring the Darwinian humor.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, even pepper

    spray can cause adverse reactions resulting in death. It's a hard call to make and I wouldn't want the job of

    making the call on whether to use a taser or not. People rarely manage to put themselves into the position of the

    cop at the scene. They are trying to do a difficult and dangerous job under adverse conditions that often require

    split second decisions. And you can bet that every decision they make will be second guessed later by the armchair

    quarterbacks. Doc is right about training, it helps to make better decisions, if it is repeated often enough. That

    brings up other issues like funding. Most often police do not have the funding for the amount of training they

    really need to do the job as well as we'd like them to do it.

    I do not always support the actions of the police

    but I try to understand them and not to revile them just on general principles. You have to look at every incident

    on a case by case basis.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  15. #15
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Yes, of course. Usually the

    individual officers on the front lines take all the heat for their lack of training. Those at the bottom of the

    chain of command often get thrown under the bus by the public, and even their superiors. The vast majority of the

    time, they are doing the best they can to make the best decisions and protect themselves or the public.
    Last edited by DrSmellThis; 03-18-2008 at 05:01 PM.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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