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Thread: Age

  1. #1
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Age

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    A distraught senior citizen

    phoned her doctor's

    office.



    [COLOR=#00005b

    ]"Is it true," she wanted to

    know,
    [/COLOR]

    [COLOR

    =#00005b]"that the medication you prescribed

    has[/COLOR]

    to be taken for the rest of my life?""
    "Yes, I'm afraid so,"

    the doctor told

    her.

    [COLOR=

    #00005b]There was a moment of silence before the senior lady

    replied,[/COLOR]

    [CO

    LOR=#00005b]"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my

    condition[/COLOR]

    [COLOR

    =#00005b]because this prescription is marked 'NO

    REFILLS.'"[/COLOR]

    [COL

    OR=#00005b]-----------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/COL

    OR]
    An older gentleman was on the operating

    table

    [COLOR=#00

    0000]awaiting surgery and he insisted that his

    son,

    [COLOR=#000

    000]a renowned surgeon, perform the

    operation.[/COLOR]

    [COLO

    R=#000000]As he was about to get the

    anesthesia[/COLOR]

    [COLO

    R=#000000]he asked to speak to his

    son.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    000]"Yes, Dad, what is

    it?"[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    000]"Don't be nervous,

    son;[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    000]do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go

    well,[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#00

    0000]if something happens to me, your mother is going to

    come[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    000]and live with you and your

    wife...."[/COLOR]

    [COLOR

    =#00005b]--------------------------------

    ---------[/COLOR]

    [COLOR

    =#000000]Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when

    you[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0000

    00]stop lying about your age and start bragging about

    it.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0000

    5b]------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
    [SIZE=2]
    [/SI

    ZE]
    The older we get, the fewer things

    seem

    [COLOR=#000

    05b]worth waiting in line

    for.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    05b]------------------------------------------[/COLOR]
    [SIZE=2]
    [/S

    IZE]
    Some people try to turn back their

    odometers.

    [COLO

    R=#000000]Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this

    way.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000

    000]I've traveled a long way and some of

    the[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0000

    00]roads weren't

    paved.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0

    0005b]--------------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/COLOR

    ]
    When you are dissatisfied and

    would

    [COLOR=#00

    0000]like to go back to

    youth,

    [COLOR=#0

    00000]think of Algebra

    class.[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0

    0005b]---------------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/COLO

    R]
    You know you are getting old when

    everything

    [COLO

    R=#000000]either dries up or

    leaks.

    [COLOR=#0

    0005b]----------------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/COL

    OR]
    I don't know how I got over the

    hill

    [COLOR=#000

    05b]without getting to the

    top.

    [COLOR=#000

    05b]----------------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/COLOR

    ]
    One of the many things no one tells you about

    aging

    [COLOR=#00

    0000]is that it is such a nice change from being

    young.

    [COLOR=#0

    0005b]-----------------

    -----------------------------[/COLOR]

    Ah, being young is

    beautiful,

    [COLO

    R=#000000]but being old is

    comfortable.[/COLOR]

    [CO

    LOR=#00005b]-------------------------------------------[/COLOR]

    [/

    COLOR]
    Long ago when men cursed and beat the

    ground

    [COLOR=#0

    00000]with sticks, it was called

    witchcraft.

    [COL

    OR=#000000]Today, it's called

    golf[/COLOR]
    .[COLOR=#0000

    00]
    [/COLOR]
    [SIZE=4]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/S

    IZE]





    Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to

    the

    [COLOR=#0000

    00]second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for

    my[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#00000

    0]wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was

    going."[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#

    000000]The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's

    a[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000000

    ]coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I

    can't[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0

    00000]find her and I'm getting a little

    desperate."[/COLOR]

    [COL

    OR=#000000]The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help

    you[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0000

    00]find her. What does she look

    like?"[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0

    00000]The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old!

    ,[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#000000

    ]tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does you wife look

    like?"[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#0

    00000]To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't

    matter,[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#

    000000]--- let's go look for

    yours."[/COLOR]

    [COLOR=#

    000000]*********[/COLOR]





    Lord,

    [COLOR=#40

    40ff]Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my

    mouth...AMEN..[/COLOR]



    [SIZE=4]Only great

    minds
    can read

    this






    fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane

    mnid too
    Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
    i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd

    waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it

    dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer

    be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the

    huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot

    slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it


    FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT.

    [/

    SIZE]




    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  2. #2
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Default

    I resemble 6.8 of those

    remarks.

  3. #3
    Phero Guru Rbt's Avatar
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    Default

    I'd post a reply to whatever was

    listed but I can't find my glasses...




    Wait... what was I doing?
    The opposite of love isn't hate.
    It's apathy
    .

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