2 big spilled/sloppy drops NPA
and 2 sprays C7. This was an experiment and in my rush for beer I forgot to be careful, and to cover, or think for
that matter. In retrospect I think that the entire House of Guerlaine would have been challenged to make me smell
any less like athletic socks left in the litterbox overnight. Not that I put my socks in the... well, never mind.
But I do have a cat, so I know what I'm talking about.
I drove the convertible and was halfway to the grocery
store when I smelled myself in the mirror. Yuck. I stopped at a traffic light and suddenly a whirring noise
descended and a nice gentleman in a helicopter began yelling at me over a megaphone, telling me to "Put the Top
Up... and Do Not Move Until the Hazmat team arrives". Well, the facts added themselves up and I realized why the
cars behind me were swerving like bees searching for the nectar of clean air. I put the top up as requested and as
the plastic on the dash began to melt from the none fumes - and after I gave myself another DIHL - I decided to make
a run for it with all vents open.
Finally got to the grocery and I would be lying if I told you things got
better. I would not have thought that grocery carts could maneuver like cars, and, since crash avoidance was not
utmost in the minds of those attempting to flee my aura, I witnessed a spectacle not unlike a Demolition Derby. It
wasn't until I reached the syrup, honey and molasses aisle that things slowed down, noticeably.
When I reached
the checkout it was a breeze, most of the other customers being either stuck (literally) on aisle 7 or huddling in
the home fragrance section. The cashier exhibited a perfect blend of revulsion and attraction, muttering "where's
the cucumber?" while slamming my things into a sack.
I learned a lot, and consider it a good technique if
you're in a hurry to get through the store with only a six-pack and a hunk of limburger.
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