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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Attracting My Wife - Help!

    Hi,



    Here's the situation. My wife feels like she love's me, but is no longer "in love" with me. She is not longer

    attracted to me. I'm hoping that something from LS could help.

    Please note that I said help and not fix. I've

    already searched the forum for this topic, and I noticed a lot of "pheremones are not a fix, you need to address

    what's really wrong, blah blah. Mones might only buy you some more time, but they won't cure anything.."

    Trust

    me, I am working on the other aspects. I'm doing a lot of personal work, research, and much more, so please try to

    stick with my question (unless I really am missing something here). My sincerest Thanks,

    Here goes..:

    23 yr

    old male (popular at work, really laid back, not an alpha)
    5' 6"
    140 lbs (i've lost some weight

    recently..working on it)
    My wife is 22
    About 5' 9"
    155lbs

    We both work together (is there anything i should

    use at work also?) Things have been less than excellant for a little under a year (having our first child may have

    had a role). Married almost 3 yrs. She moved out about 3 weeks ago...

    Last week went on a short vacation (nothing

    changed, and we both agreed that wasn't why we were going). I used some Pherone M11, with no noticeable increase in

    attraction. I tried different doses from dabs to drops from clothes to skin..when I got to three drops, she told me

    she didn't like how I smelled. (i alternated between tommy bahama and Realm as covers) She seemed more comfortable

    and talkative and I felt better, but who knows, it could have been just getting away and breathing in some mountain

    air .

    Anyway, I'm looking for a spark. Something that could maybe make her second guess whether or not she is

    attracted to me. I feel like as long as she believes that she is not, she won't be as receptive to changes im

    making... I think you get the picture.

    I don't know if this is helpful at all, but she also likes to wear a

    healthy dose of perfume. She's the girl that always smells good, and sometimes, you don't have to be very close to

    notice it. (mostly perfumes, but often bath and body works)

    Any help (or advice) is truly appreciated. Thank

    you.
    Last edited by nkotb; 09-18-2007 at 05:13 PM.

  2. #2
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    To build sexual

    tension,try TE or A7(I heard it works well as a pair bonder)

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    Excellent! Scented or Unscented?

    Any reccomendations for dosing? Thank you.

    Anyone else?

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    Quote Originally Posted by nkotb View Post
    Excellent! Scented or Unscented? Any reccomendations for dosing? Thank you.

    Anyone

    else?
    My g/f still reacts favourably to 1 or 2 drops Alpha 7, with a good

    spray of nice cologne.


    I have the unscented Alpha 7 and it

    smells absolutley delicious with its sexy smell.


    It is my

    number 1 favourite pheromone and now i have just run out waaaa waaaaaa, I have been wearing it nearly every day

    alone and in mixes as it is a great mixer, this stuff just wears so well.


    Thank goodness i have some Alpha 7 mixes stashed under my bed role.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by terry0400-40; 09-18-2007 at 06:31 PM. Reason: - line
    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    Follow Terry's advice,he

    is a very wise one.If you are trying the edge just search for recommended dosages as I am starting from scratch with

    testing edge(got it from the newbie kit along with SPMO),SPMO just throws me off and doesn't seem to agree with

    me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by terry0400-40 View Post
    My g/f still reacts favourably to 1 or 2 drops Alpha

    7, with a good spray of nice cologne.


    I have the unscented

    Alpha 7 and it smells absolutley delicious with its sexy smell.


    It is my number 1 favourite pheromone and now i have just run out waaaa waaaaaa, I have been

    wearing it nearly every day alone and in mixes as it is a great mixer, this stuff just wears so well.



    Thank goodness i have some Alpha 7 mixes stashed under my bed

    role.
    I agree completely Terry. I had a great night out last weekend with A7. It

    mixed so well with my chosen cover and the evening was so darned pleasant. No overt hits but every woman I talked

    to exuded intimacy in both body and subtle verbal hints. I was with a date, and her responses were very positive.


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    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    nkotb, this is a shot in the

    dark, but if you're intent on using mones to save a marriage you might try A1 (androstedienone) for its

    trust/comfort vibe. However, you should know that effective use of mones requires experimentation and practice.



    Genuine best wishes,
    Greg

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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign View Post
    I agree

    completely Terry. I had a great night out last weekend with A7. It mixed so well with my chosen cover and the

    evening was so darned pleasant. No overt hits but every woman I talked to exuded intimacy in both body and subtle

    verbal hints. I was with a date, and her responses were very positive.
    What's your age, A7 dosage,

    and application points, ID?

    And if anyone else peeps in that favors A7, what have you found to

    be your sweet spot (drops)?

    Thanks one, thanks all!

    nkotb, whenever I wear heavy dosages

    of TE:cologne 50:50 and two drops of A-1, I get lots of "What in the world is that cologne that you

    wear!?!?!?"
    I always ask if I put on too much, and they say, "No, you smell good!" and I've gotten

    "No, you smell good! Real good!" All seem to be around your ladies' age. You can probably pull that off

    without the A-1 ... that Newbee package of musk and TE at 50:50 at three sprays does a number on young ones, too!

    vbmenu_register("postmenu_203132", true);
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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    I know this is going to

    sound like a strange plan, but here it goes. Ask a male friend, that your wife has not met, to run across you two in

    a bar or night club. Have him pick a fight with you for no reason. You know, "Hey you stepped on my foot" or "Why

    did you bump into me?" Then you will stand up to him and end it with simple reasoning and no fighting. He will just

    be scared of you for what he thinks you can do to him. Your wife will see how well you handle the situation and

    think you are the Alpha Dog. I saw this plan in the movie "Enough" and it is thoroughly plausible. Just a last ditch

    effort to try if all else fails with your wife.

    Good luck,

    Sweet Thing

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    Quote Originally Posted by sweet

    thing;203479
    I know this is going to sound like a strange plan, but here it goes. Ask a male friend, that your wife

    has not met, to run across you two in a bar or night club. Have him pick a fight with you for no reason. You know,

    "Hey you stepped on my foot" or "Why did you bump into me?" Then you will stand up to him and end it with simple

    reasoning and no fighting. He will just be scared of you for what he thinks you can do to him. Your wife will see

    how well you handle the situation and think you are the Alpha Dog. I saw this plan in the movie "Enough" and it is

    thoroughly plausible.
    You must be kiddin`.
    I mean feel free n` all but personally... I

    really don't think that's such a great idea.
    Did you ever tried such a thing with any success?

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    I tried a mix of SOE, A1 and A7

    tonight.

    Things were different, more friendly (laughing at my dumb jokes like when we first started dating), and

    I feel like I should have thought of trying this a month ago... Took about 3 hours before this though.

    So this

    is something I am going to have to keep experimeting on.

    I did read the cookbook but a lot of it is still

    confusing to me.

    Can RM be used with my SOE A1 A7 combo? Or is that going to make it risk an OD?

    I

    basiacly followed T-Blade's green text for SOE application, but I just but a drop of A1 on neck and A7 on wrist.

    Not sure if I should try more.


    Another odd thing though. I can't smell anything on any of the products I

    bought (accept the cover scents when I finaly apply them). Which is odd because I have a really good nose. I

    don't think there is anything wrong with them given the results, but is it possible I just can't smell it? or am

    I just being way to conservative on my drop.


    Last questions for tonight.

    1. How long do you think this

    application wouldl ast before needing more? (meaning should I be fine all night if I apply around 3pm?)

    2. Do

    you think that it would be wise to rinse at sleep then reapply before partner wakes up? THat way they wake up next

    to smell and furthur associate it with you? (but waitting until early morning so no risk of OD)


    THanks again

    everyone. Trying to learn as much as I can so I won't be such a newb. But if anyone has ever tested RM with SOE

    and what not please let me know, did a search and could not find the answer!

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    Exclamation Each of us and his own best mix

    Quote Originally Posted by Rubio View Post
    I basiacly followed T-Blade's green text for SOE application, but I just but a

    drop of A1 on neck and A7 on wrist. Not sure if I should try more.
    The fact that it works for me, doesn't

    necessarily mean it's the exact mix-formula that'll work for you mate
    If you feel you need more of a

    specific `mone-product - I think it might be good for you to try it.
    We each have our own natural-`mone-signature.

    Mine is different than yours, and therefor, your best mix might not be the same as mine.
    As you said - you should

    do more experimenting

    I hope this helps


    There are people who don't seem to smell the `mones.

    I also consider myself to have a very good nose, yet I barely smell the cat-piss odor that others sometimes describe

    TE to have.
    IMHO, the way to measure if you're application amounts are right for you, is by the results you get.

    But bare in mind that it might take time for the results to be conclusive... here again, come the trial & experiment

    into play

    I've never tried RM; and I don't really know how to answer the other two questions you've asked


    I never even thought about what you've asked in the second question.
    As for the first one... I

    think it's a personal thing. I mean I'm not sure but... I usually just refresh on instinct; that is, if I

    even refresh at all... which I usually don't find any need to.
    I hope that with more people replying to this

    question - you'll get a better idea of how to look at it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubio View Post
    I tried

    a mix of SOE, A1 and A7 tonight.

    Things were different, more friendly (laughing at my dumb jokes like when we

    first started dating), and I feel like I should have thought of trying this a month ago... Took about 3 hours before

    this though.

    So this is something I am going to have to keep experimeting on.

    I did read the cookbook but a

    lot of it is still confusing to me.

    Can RM be used with my SOE A1 A7 combo? Or is that going to make it risk an

    OD?

    I basiacly followed T-Blade's green text for SOE application, but I just but a drop of A1 on neck and A7 on

    wrist. Not sure if I should try more.


    Another odd thing though. I can't smell anything on any of the

    products I bought (accept the cover scents when I finaly apply them). Which is odd because I have a really good

    nose. I don't think there is anything wrong with them given the results, but is it possible I just can't smell it?

    or am I just being way to conservative on my drop.


    Last questions for tonight.

    1. How long do you think

    this application wouldl ast before needing more? (meaning should I be fine all night if I apply around 3pm?)

    2.

    Do you think that it would be wise to rinse at sleep then reapply before partner wakes up? THat way they wake up

    next to smell and furthur associate it with you? (but waitting until early morning so no risk of OD)


    THanks

    again everyone. Trying to learn as much as I can so I won't be such a newb. But if anyone has ever tested RM with

    SOE and what not please let me know, did a search and could not find the answer!
    By all means do change your pheromone signature every week when hangin with steady partner or g/f as

    it prevents them from becoming acclimatised to it and the changes are always perceived and it adds mystery and

    excitement to the equation.


    Keep using your Alpha 7 amounts if they are working fine, just remember when you add a drop of

    Rogue Male into the A7+ SOE formula then cut back on the A7 by an equivelent drop amount so as to keep you

    Androstenone amounts on target.


    For a good 8 hour window of action i will usualy wear something like say 2 or 3 dr A7 + SOE x

    9 drops = about 1+1/2 gel/ pks SOE.


    When the girl is in bed waiting for me i will swipe a little AE gel above my top lip and when

    it comes around to kissin time the girls go mad for it, ha ha i virtually have to hold them back when the ravaging

    she devil comes out in their wild wanton lust,,, OHHH So good to tease, i love to slowly kiss tease whilst they are

    bouncing me over the universe AHHH Sooo good great. . . . What a life.....


    Warning Pheromones will get you wasted.

    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    Don't worry about not smelling the

    mones , I can't smell any until I'm od'ed to the max and about to start a fight with the local bikey gang for the

    fun of it.... But on the other hand I can smell a smoker at 100 paces and love sniffing woman when they walk past on

    the street wearing perfume. (umm , maybe I should keep that to myself?) In short , I have a great nose for scents

    but can't smell any pheromones.
    early 40's white male or or

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    Have two more questions:

    1. Is

    a1 the stuff called alphatest 101 on the site? Or did I buy the wrong thing?

    2. When you say to go ahead and

    change my scent, is just changing the A7 to RM every week back and forth enough?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubio View Post
    Have

    two more questions:

    1. Is a1 the stuff called alphatest 101 on the site? Or did I buy the wrong thing?

    2.

    When you say to go ahead and change my scent, is just changing the A7 to RM every week back and forth

    enough?
    Yes, also try and alternate the fragrances if you have any that she

    likes, like altering the products is a big help, and you may be able to use less product when in close and intimate

    setting with someone whome is already attracted to you as in having the fish in the bag.

    A little pheromone say an Xcite wipe or a SOE gel/pkt can really enhance lovemaking when

    spread on participating bodys and add a new exciting depth to lovemaking.
    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

  17. #17
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    Bottom line, as Gegogi

    suggests: No guarantee anything will work in the slightest.

    But no harm in trying things.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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    Default Not sure if this helps

    I too got

    into phermones to mainly get my missus interested again but....I use Pherlure and it seems to work on just about

    every other d*ng woman but her.

    In fact, (good news for you single guys), Pherlure seems to work best on young

    girls. The younger the better it seems. Those who are young and sexy. It works on some older women but only the ones

    who are vivacious if u know what I mean? Those who have that innate sexiness at any age.

    So your wife is still

    young enough to register, so keep trying, but perhaps look for something much more subtle (the experts here can

    advise you on what that might be).

    My missus is too old for any of these mones and (think this is related) she

    has a pretty duffed up sense of smell. She can't smell things until they absolutely reek.

    My own theory is

    that these things are linked - sensitivity to smells (that goes with age) and sex drive (or that innate sexiness).

    When women are more 'aroused' - in heat, they can smell things a mile away.

    Sadly, the reverse happens for

    women with a low sex drive - less ability to smell - mones and pretty much anything.

    Anyway, am new to this

    Forum so please don't savage my amateur ramblings. I'm keen to learn more about stronger mones and even the more

    subtle ones (tho have given up on the missus - they don't make a mone strong enough for her)

    These

    days I get my kicks from catching the eye of twenty somethings with my modest Pherlure & LT combo (not bad for a 44

    yr old git!)
    Last edited by jonno101; 10-23-2007 at 08:44 AM. Reason: sentence missed out

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    So..I had a big event to go to

    this past weekend. Wife went. Agreed to share a room with me. Broke out the SoE and A1.
    Basically, we hugged a few

    times before the weekend was up and they were the BEST hugs in a REEEALLY long time. It had gotten to the point for

    us were even hugging had become awkward, uncomfortable, and just weird. She even told me after the first hug that it

    was the most comfortable she had been with hugging me in so very long.

    We had a lunch together, and spent an

    afternoon together at the beach. All went pretty well. When we returned from our "trip", we went our seperate ways.

    That night, she called. FOR NO REASON! That doesn't happen anymore. She told me she was "just thinking about me"

    and "wanted to check on me".

    We are so much better at work now too. Smiling and laughing. I'm starting to be

    funny to her again.

    Things are still very platonic, but I realize that in order to move my mountain, I need to

    carry away many small rocks...
    I'm hoping that I am on that path, and that in a few months, after enough work is

    put in, i'll cause a "landslide". Obviously pleased with A1 and SoE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubio View Post
    Have two

    more questions:

    1. Is a1 the stuff called alphatest 101 on the site? Or did I buy the wrong thing?

    2. When

    you say to go ahead and change my scent, is just changing the A7 to RM every week back and forth

    enough?
    A1 is not the alphatest 101. What you want is Androstedienone, the product just beneath the

    alphatest.

    Can't believe Terry missed this... I like the new avatar Terry, best one yet, you should keep it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign View Post
    A1 is

    not the alphatest 101. What you want is Androstedienone, the product just beneath the alphatest.

    Can't believe

    Terry missed this... I like the new avatar Terry, best one yet, you should keep it.
    Thanks Greg, yes i may keep my latest photo avatar upgrade, although i am very critical of seeing

    my own pic, especially in public... well sort of...


    I just realized what the alphatest 101 is, as

    i was under the impression that a foreign product was being refered to but now i am aware of what and where it is

    now located. Thanking you Squire. te he.
    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    I know my g/f really appreciates it when i thank her for little ordinary things that she may do for

    me, also a woman may look at a man with a whole new level of tenderness love and admiration when she observes her

    partner or friend doing a loving service or a kind deed to another human being, so it is the attention to the little

    details that can have important effects on a womans perception of her man ect. And can lead to a radical change in

    her attitude towards you ....
    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    Ahhhh, I knew there must have

    been a reason.

    You and CAt have me hooked on the A7/A1 mix idea. I can't wait to try it out this weekend.

    Pheros is also now in hand, so if you hear screaming pay it no mind my friend, its just the verbal expression of

    ecstasy. OTOH, you may hear nothing. But lets be optimistic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign View Post
    Ahhhh, I knew there must have been a reason.

    You and CAt have me hooked on the A7/A1 mix

    idea. I can't wait to try it out this weekend. Pheros is also now in hand, so if you hear screaming pay it no mind

    my friend, its just the verbal expression of ecstasy. OTOH, you may hear nothing. But lets be

    optimistic.
    You can bet yr briskit ill be listening out old sea biscuit ya ya

    yar de Man A7 and A1 and Pheros what a combo a dream come true, and sniff wimper i am out of A7

    .


    OH well

    next best, ill be a waitin 4 ur report Sir Life is a beach...

    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    Quote Originally Posted by terry0400-40 View Post
    Thanks Greg, yes i may keep my latest photo avatar

    upgrade, although i am very critical of seeing my own pic, especially in public... well sort of...



    I just realized what the alphatest 101 is, as i was under the

    impression that a foreign product was being refered to but now i am aware of what and where it is now located.

    Thanking you Squire. te he.

    That's a good looking photo you have here. The body

    language, facial expression and even clothing(in the first photo)is good
    Totally bad ass

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    Quote Originally Posted by TylerD View Post
    That's a good looking photo you have here. The body language, facial expression and even

    clothing(in the first photo)is good
    Totally bad ass
    Thank you TylerD,

    The digital camera has a few good features & really helps heaps.
    I AM. Out of my mind .... .... ....

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    nktob, I think it's wonderful

    that you're getting some positive resuls. I think that these smaller, but consistent, results are preferable when

    it comes to working with your significant other. You don't want really strong results that just come out of

    nowhere - then, when the results wear off, your wife will probably think it was a fluke or something, as opposed to

    a real positive change in your relationship. I think you're approaching this in a really positive, hopeful, and

    yet realistic way and I really admire you for that.

    If you're looking for advice on how you can take

    things further on this road, I think it would be useful for us to know more about the issues in the relationship.

    You said in your first post that your wife still loves you, but thinks she is no longer "in love" with you. Has she

    given you any idea why this is? Is it a physical thing? Ie, is she just no longer physically attracted to you? Or

    is it more behavioral? You said that she finds the "sweet" things you do "desperate". If it's more of a behavioral

    thing, do you think that you do things differently now than you did initially in your courtship? Or, perhaps, as is

    often the case, your behavior has not changed but the same things that used to endear you to her now annoy

    her.

    Another possibility is that her change in attitude doesn't have to do with a change in you, but rather

    a change in both of your circumstances. You said that your child being born might have something to do with it. The

    stress of childrearing, combined with the hormonal rollercoaster that is pregnancy, can make her feel too tired, too

    irritable, or simply too unsexy to be up to being romantic, and can in turn make her resentful of your efforts to

    be romantic. Add in the possibility of post-partum depression, and it's a crazy mix.

    I may not be one of

    the pheromone experts on the board, but I do know a thing or two about relationships. If you can identify which of

    these reasons might be the most probable cause of your relationship issues, I think I could better help you figure

    out what approaches you could take. And then the phero-gurus around here could help you figure out which

    pheromones would best help to amplify those approaches. For example, if she finds you less physically attractive,

    you'd probably get the best results by enhancing your mysteriousness and masculine sensuality, which may require

    some none mix. But on the otherhand, if the changes are more due to her generally being more irritable and feeling

    less romantic, coming off as more sexually dominant could backfire. Instead, you'd be better off trying to get her

    to loosen up in a non-agressive yet non-needy way, and mixes with some combo (i have no idea) of nol, rone, or

    others would be best.

    I hope this helps, and I really hope everything works out for you.
    ~Silver

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    It took some time to decide

    whether or not to go into detail about this stuff on this board, but I've decided that in order for people to get

    the most benefit from the experience of others, they should have a pretty good idea of what that experience actually

    is.

    The issues that have brought my marriage to this place are many. The more I learn about the subject, the

    more I find that applies to me. I've recently picked up on trust being an issue, and how everday things like

    forgetting what she asked me to do, or not really caring about being on time to things even though my wife did,

    hurt our relationship and trust.

    My wife and I met while I was in a toxic 5 year relationship. I left that

    relationship and pursued one with my wife. We were young, but we didn't care. We just wanted to be together. We

    talked about getting married, and soon after found out that we were going to leave for Iraq in a few months. So, we

    got married right away! On our 3 month "anniversary" we left for iraq. Things were still pretty happy in Iraq, but

    we were very busy and didn't get much time together. Eventually we were seperated into different shifts, and only

    saw each other in passing when I was going to sleep and she was going to work.

    We came home, connected some

    more, and made a baby right away! We were thrilled. Slowly, things started to fall apart. I asked her for tiny

    "favors" all the time. And though I was always appreciative and showed it, it was still an abuse. I asked her to get

    me socks, or food or anything so much, youd think she was my mother. I became more attracted to her early in the

    pregnancy as she started filling out, so things were still good in that department. Life got harder for her, and she

    grew more tired. She was pregnant after all.

    Sometimes I did wonder if I had made the right choice, and resigned

    myself to the idea that even if I hadn't, this was "good enough". When our son was born we were so happy, but were

    fighting more and more. Pulling all-nighters every night with the baby was tough, and soon she had to return to

    work. More stress. She began working in a very demanding department and I always complained about her coming home

    late. I grew less attracted to her, and sadly grew more attracted to the computer.

    Not just porn (though that

    was a big problem for her that I was a jerk about), but browsing took up a huge portion of my off time. She watched

    more tv and took lots of naps. We spent all of our time around each other but were on different plantes if you know

    what I mean. Sex all but went away, and we basically became roomates.

    With sex becoming a problem, she began

    "nagging" about it all the time. That behavior definitely didn't want to make me do it more, and it's kind of

    emasculating when she's always talking about how the female is the one who is supposed not want sex as much as the

    male. So I became defensive, and when we did have sex, it was often an uncomfortable, unfullfilling affair.

    We

    stopped doing things together, started doing things apart, and eventually felt like we couldn't even talk to each

    other. With nothing in common, we must have made a mistake in getting married.

    I could go on I'm sure, but I'll

    get on with it. Eventually we talked about breaking up, and did for one night. I came home and talked her out of it.

    Soon after, I had done some self help studying and decided that if my relationship problems were always running

    through my head, I should eliminate them. We agreed to separate.
    About two weeks later, I had a revelation. "The

    solution isn't to eliminate the relationship, but to eliminate the problems! Wait a minute....My wife is HOT! I

    really like her! I DO want to spend my life with her!"

    This was very exciting news for me, and I knew she'd be

    excited to hear it all...but she wasn't. So I did the usual, I was sad, angry, resentful, logical. I cried, I

    reasoned her to death, I was deseperate and clingy. I bought flowers, and said nice things, to no avail.

    We had

    a large family gathering for our sons' first birthday, and had such a good time together, that she decided to give

    us another shot. We talked about things we would do differently, and things we could try. Basically, we didn't do

    anything different. Nothing changed. My mindset had changed, so I was happier, but she wasn't. All the while, I

    asked her how we were doing, and she told me that she was happy. In front of my friends, she said we were better. I

    felt that something was off, but I just took her word for it.

    About two months later, I kept asking what was

    wrong. She got more and more irritated as she kept answering "Nothing!!" I told her I was scared, and she gave me

    the "im sorry, im keaving you look". Then she confirmed it verbally. The pain and desperation began anew.

    She

    "just isn't happy" and "doesn't feel that way" towards me. she says she just isnt attracted to me anymore. just on

    a physical note, i'll add that i used to be more muscular when she was attracted to me...i was closer to 170 and

    now im a skinny 140...as a result of dietary changes (that she was also not thrilled with). I know there is A LOT

    more to our attraction than that, I just thought Id mention it.

    What else...
    I was able to get her to see a

    counselor that the military provided. She didn't want to, but she did. Basically, we went in, he took some info and

    said that he was supposed to be impartial, and that his job was to facilitate what we want. She wanted to leave, so

    she should. As for me, he felt his job was to help me deal with that. Needless to say, I was not pleased. Now that

    I'm learning more and making some positive changes, i'm even more pissed about that. If my wife and I get back

    together, I'll be sure to go back to their office and "thank him".

    I've read books, and ebooks, had some

    counseling, and am now working through a 7 week bootcamp thing geared at making it work when the other spouse wont

    help.

    We had a date last night. I found a new upscale place in the next city over for us to try out...we always

    go to the same places since we live in a small town. It was nice and we had a good time. We were both really tired

    from a long week though. I dropped her off, had another good hug, and as I left, I sent her a text.

    ME "Sweet

    Dreams"
    HER reply "Thank you. Yoo too"
    HER " Thank you for a nice evening"
    ME "Anytime "
    HER ":-) thank you.

    Goodnight."

    What should I make of that if anything? She had already thanked me for the nice evening...I think

    twice. So it just seems a little weird. When she could have left it at "thank you. you too", she sent another

    text...i dunno
    I know I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I've made some mistakes this last time around that have

    brought me almost back to square one. So I understand that I have to be patient and alleviate pressure from her.



    Finally, I think that the problems go outside of our relationship as well. She talked to me last night about

    needing a break. She has alway been wound fairly tight. And now it seems that shes pulling away even from her

    closest girlfriends. Everyone want a piece of her, and she is just tired. She has recently decided to change career

    fields in the Marine Corps. I think she is just worn out. I can understand that, and if time is what she needs, i'm

    fine with that too..I'm just hoping that she finds what she's looking for right where it always should have

    been...right here.

    Time will tell.

    If you have any input or questions, feel free. Thanks

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    Hey, nkotb, you're not the only one

    going through these issues. What you've written is alot of the same of what I'm going through as well right now

    (although a few different circumstances).

    I've read alot of books on the subject (knowledge is power!) and I

    would really recommend checking out a book by Mort Fertel: Marriage Fitness, 4 steps to building and maintaining

    phenomenal love.

    He also has a web site and a seperate program: http://www.marriagemax.com/

    The

    tele-bootcamp he offers is a bit expensive, but so far I really believe in the advice offered. He has a "lone

    ranger" track if your spouse isn't interested, and a duo track if you and your spouse want to participate.

    Check

    out the book if you have a chance. I know I've seen it at Barnes and Noble, and other book stores. The book is a

    very simplified version of what he offers through his site.

    Just keep in mind that the pheros may help break the

    ice, and make things a bit easier, but in the end it's you inside which needs to realize how you have contributed

    to the breakdown of your marriage... it always takes two to tango, but you need to see why you can't dance first



    The next step is to try to rebuild the love... to become soul mates again. Not to fix how you've

    contributed to the breakdown (although you should be mindful of this), but to figure out how to connect with each

    other again. You ever notice that when you first met, the love was strong, yet the "little things" didn't ever

    bother you, or her for that matter? It sounds a bit counter intuitive-- sort of like the chicken before the egg.

    But really, you need to connect again. It's not going to be easy-- it always takes alot of work.

    I really

    hope you are able to re-establish your relationship. Good luck.

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    Default Thanks for the advice Umo

    Hahaha, I

    know exactly what you mean Umo. The 7 week bootcamp that I mentioned is actually the same program that you

    mentioned! Are you doing it too?

    I found Mort Fertel last week, and his products have taught me more in less time

    than anything else so far. I love that his message is one not so much of making it work through fixing your

    problems, but of love. Love, while not the only thing you need, definitely helps make it work. Right now, I'm a

    "lone ranger".

    I know now that even though I tried to make myself settle for less in the past, I don't have to.

    I have faith that eventually we can make our way back to each other and have what we wanted...soulmates.

    I am

    more and more aware of where we went wrong. And in that knowledge i'm learning how to start making it right. How to

    start rebuilding the love while avoiding previous pitfalls.

    If nothing else, this has been an incredible learning

    experience so far. In a way...although I do want her back, I feel that there is more to learn first...but hey, if

    she changes her mind early, I won't complain! And I certainly won't stop studying and learning about this stuff

    just because she wants to give it another shot.

    Good luck to you too! And to anyone else on these boards going

    through this!

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