I love this one Belgareth. I'm
sending it to my Dad, a retired Engineer. He'll be all over this.
The engineering mind is different. (I intentionally did not say odd)
Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across campus
when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business
when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said,"Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice;
the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
To the optimist, the
glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the
engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers
- Take Three:
A pastor,
a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with these guys?
We must have
been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've
never
seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause] "Hi
George, say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind firefighters lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,
"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything
he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers
- Take Four:
There was
an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
fixing all things
mechanical. After serving his
company loyally for over 30 years, he
happily
retired. Several years later the company contacted him
regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were
having with one of their multimillion dollar
machines. They had tried everything and everyone else
to get the machine to work but to no avail. In
desperation, they called on the retired engineer who
had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer
reluctantly took the challenge. He spent
a day studying the huge
machine. At the end of the
day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a
particular
component of the machine and stated, "This is
where
your problem is." The part was replaced and the
machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the
engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized
accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: "One chalk mark,
$1.00. Knowing where to put it $49,999.00."
It was paid in full and
the engineer retired again in peace.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers
build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at
all the joints. "
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The
nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
Normal people believe that ...if it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
Engineers believe that: "...if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
enough features yet."-Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with
the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed
time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed
time with his mistress,because of the passion and
mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
The others: "Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with the
other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine:
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn
into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up
the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog
then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you
want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at
it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said,
"Look I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog, now
that's cool."
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
I love this one Belgareth. I'm
sending it to my Dad, a retired Engineer. He'll be all over this.
Yours about pheromones was
pretty good too.
Actually, those were all true stories except the one about the talking frog. He only imagined
it after 47 hours straight playing some video game.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
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