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  1. #1
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    Red face Need some girl advice

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Hi,
    So

    there's this girl(shes half Caucasian/half Singaporean...very cute!) in my summer class at school. She's from

    jersey originally, but she goes to school in Arizona and is here only for the summer(well 18 more days) :/


    This is week four of our summer class, and we've been talking all the time for the last 2 weeks. I'm not too sure

    if she thinks of me as just a friend ...but we sit next to each other in class, usually partnering up for

    exercises(french class) and stand outside the class talking during the break. Even when we're done with class

    we're walking together to our cars. one day when class left early, she asked me to join her for a drink(which i

    did) at a bar. Yesterday when i had to goto the bathroom after class, i said that I'll see her tomorrow but she

    waited for me so we could walk together.
    I know that she has to leave soon so there's no chance of having

    a steady relationship, maybe just a summer fling. So my question is, should i ask her out on a date or just ask her

    to hang out at a bar or something. I like this girl, she is nice to talk to. But i'm not very good at building

    chemistry . I want us to be really comfortable around each other. Any suggestions would be helpful.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Moderator Mtnjim's Avatar
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    Well, you could ask her out

    on a date and she might turn you down, or you could not ask her out on a date and she definitely

    won't
    be going out with you.
    Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
    --Lazarus Long

  3. #3
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    Default given your time

    constraints, I

    would just go for her. When walking with her, just hold her hand and see how she reacts, if favorably, the skies

    the limit. If not, 18 days will go by quick any way.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  4. #4
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    She's given you all the cues

    you need, go for it. KK has good advice, just move in gently and be yourself. She obviously likes you, and is

    probably wondering why you're taking so long to make a move!

    And as Jim said, you only have two

    options.

    Chemistry can't be built, its just there. Fortunately for you its already there with this girl, don't

    wait!
    Last edited by idesign; 07-31-2007 at 05:56 PM.

  5. #5
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    thanks for the replies, you're

    all correct.
    I like the idea of holding her hand while walking, but that depends on the conversation we're having

    right? i mean if she's telling me something funny about her family or friends, wouldn't it be awkward to hold her

    hand.

  6. #6
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    Default nope, you gots to

    go for it, be

    spontaneous and just see what happens. Time is of the essence!!!
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  7. #7
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    okay, ive been reading some

    pua stuff recently, and this may work if you need a definite clue.
    figure out some way to move locations and take

    her hand while moving locations. squeeze her hand a bit and if she squeezes back you probably can go further.
    This

    may be awkward, so you can do the david deangelo kiss test. feel her hair (above her ear im thinking) and say

    something like it looks so soft. if she doesn't tense up (read her body language), go ahead.
    Or you can just do

    Mystery's "would you like to kiss me?" test. ask that if she says anything except for No, kiss her. If she says no,

    say "i wasn't saying you could".
    if you do 2 out of the 3 that should give you a definate answer. Id recommend

    doing the DeAngelo one. Its probably the easiest to play off as something not sexual if she rejects you and tenses

    up.

  8. #8
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    i asked her out and she said yes,

    but she couldn't say when she'd be able to, so she gave me her number and asked me to call her.
    Thanks for the

    tips college man! I'll try 2 and 3, but i cant understand the first one...
    "figure out some way to move locations

    and take her hand while moving locations." not sure what you mean by that.

  9. #9
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    the squeezing hand thing is

    sort of unconsious, it is an indicator of an emotional connection/rapport depending on whose pua guide you use. It

    seems as if you already have rapport so this isn't necessary.

    And...imo you kinda blew it w/ the dating frame.

    A girl wont have sex once you make the relationship into a dating frame. Im assuming that is mostly what youre

    after.
    You may still be able to get out of a dating frame (if thats what you want, im just assuming here) by

    making the event something besides her (a date is her). But once you go on the first date, youre pretty much locked

    into the dating frame. off the top of my head, Bowling? if youre good at bowling. but its best for like 4 people

    aswell. so...think of something. The key is letting her into something you already could be doing.

  10. #10
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    well, like i said in my opening

    post, i did want a relationship, but its not possible with her since she's going back to Arizona.
    So, something

    non-serious should be the way to go...i guess. Do you think i should ask her to join me for drinks at a bar or a few

    games of pool? something along those lines?

  11. #11
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    if youre good at pool and it

    was possible that youd have gone to play pool neway. sounds good.

  12. #12
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    Hmm I'm mediocre at pool....So

    what you're saying is that i was in the neighborhood playing pool and i asked her to join me. But if I'm alone

    with her wouldn't it be like a date? The only way to make it not feel like a date is to invite other people

    right?

  13. #13
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    It doesn't matter what you do,

    so long as you both want to do it and go together. Bringing others along would only confuse things. Instead, offer

    to meet someplace, like a coffee shop or pool hall. Then think of a reason to leave together.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  14. #14
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    yeah do not ask people to

    join you. that would mess things up. i mean don't make it formal like a dinner or something. the pool hall idea

    sounds fine.
    However it does sound like youre past the whole coffee shop thing, and she might take it as if you

    think youre stepping back or something like that.

  15. #15
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    k will do, thanks guys. Will let

    you know how it goes.

  16. #16
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    So we went to a pool hall/bar

    Saturday night. She wasn't too good at pool, which was good cos i was holding her hand most of the time and

    teaching her how to shoot etc.
    We played 4 games, i let her win twice lol. The night ended with me walking her to

    her car and we made plans to meet up again over the coming week.
    However i do regret not kissing her, i was

    waiting for the right timing, and later realized that there were plenty of chances to make my move.
    Also i was

    wearing Chikara that night.

  17. #17
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    The next time you two go out, do

    something that would intrest her. After all the conversations you have had, surely you know of some of her intrests.



    Things seem to be going good,and it sounds like she has a decent intrest in you. It is more important to avoid

    doing something stupid to blow it. Just be yourself. It has worked so far.

  18. #18
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    youre gonna need to escalate

    on your next meeting, or otherwise she will get bored/think you want to be friends.

  19. #19
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan View Post
    However i

    do regret not kissing her, i was waiting for the right timing, and later realized that there were plenty of chances

    to make my move.
    Also i was wearing Chikara that night.
    Lycan, you remind me of me when I was your age,

    and even now to some extent. Relax. Its been said here before, show her your feelings in a natural way. You

    feel something for her, and she feels that and likes it. You can even make a joke with her about your nervousness

    which could be very endearing to her. Nervousness is flattering to nice girls, but you can't wait forever. You

    don't want to be seen as incapable. Been there regretted that.

    All of the advice you've gotten here is good,

    you just need to act upon it.

    When you're alone and all the world is quiet, hold her hands and look into her

    eyes with a smile and kiss her softly on the lips. Just do it. You'll know. Rejection is not nearly as bad as

    not trying, but I don't think you have to worry about rejection.

  20. #20
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    Great advice everyone.



    It always pays not to try too hard, nor hestitate in fear. Relax and be yourself.

    How about an update Lycan?

    How's it going?

    -CAt

  21. #21
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    Lycan,

    Anything is possible.

    Don't just limit your mind to "just a summer fling" mode. I actually sustained a four year relationship with a

    woman that was from here (Seattle) and went to TN for med school. Ok, so it ended really badly due to mistakes on

    both of our parts, but I would do it all over again (hopefully not that last bit though).

    You've got some really

    good suggestions/responses here. Really listen to her. Tease out any hints on what she might enjoy doing next.

    One of the most important things on building chemistry and getting the both of you to relax is to make her laugh.

    You said you weren't that good at pool . . . how about getting her to laugh at your antics on trying to play.



    As for the mones to wear I suggest SOE. It does a great job of getting people in a relaxed/playful mood. Some

    people have said that it's not a very sexual type of -mone. Not so. For me this is the most consistant product

    that I have in my phero arsenal. You just gotta know how to use it.

    -SwingerMD
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

  22. #22
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    I think you have plenty of

    indication that she will respond favorably to your advances and it sounds like you are genuinely interested in her.

    The only problem is that you will soon be separated geographically. It could be tough, but myself I would probably

    throw caution to the wind and get (more) involved. You never know, you might get together again some day.
    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha


    Yoga in Eugene
    Fair Trade crafts from Peru

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