Well, you could ask her out
on a date and she might turn you down, or you could not ask her out on a date and she definitely
won't be going out with you.
Hi,
So
there's this girl(shes half Caucasian/half Singaporean...very cute!) in my summer class at school. She's from
jersey originally, but she goes to school in Arizona and is here only for the summer(well 18 more days) :/
This is week four of our summer class, and we've been talking all the time for the last 2 weeks. I'm not too sure
if she thinks of me as just a friend ...but we sit next to each other in class, usually partnering up for
exercises(french class) and stand outside the class talking during the break. Even when we're done with class
we're walking together to our cars. one day when class left early, she asked me to join her for a drink(which i
did) at a bar. Yesterday when i had to goto the bathroom after class, i said that I'll see her tomorrow but she
waited for me so we could walk together.
I know that she has to leave soon so there's no chance of having
a steady relationship, maybe just a summer fling. So my question is, should i ask her out on a date or just ask her
to hang out at a bar or something. I like this girl, she is nice to talk to. But i'm not very good at building
chemistry . I want us to be really comfortable around each other. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks.
Well, you could ask her out
on a date and she might turn you down, or you could not ask her out on a date and she definitely
won't be going out with you.
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
--Lazarus Long
constraints, I
would just go for her. When walking with her, just hold her hand and see how she reacts, if favorably, the skies
the limit. If not, 18 days will go by quick any way.
There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!
She's given you all the cues
you need, go for it. KK has good advice, just move in gently and be yourself. She obviously likes you, and is
probably wondering why you're taking so long to make a move!
And as Jim said, you only have two
options.
Chemistry can't be built, its just there. Fortunately for you its already there with this girl, don't
wait!
Last edited by idesign; 07-31-2007 at 05:56 PM.
thanks for the replies, you're
all correct.
I like the idea of holding her hand while walking, but that depends on the conversation we're having
right? i mean if she's telling me something funny about her family or friends, wouldn't it be awkward to hold her
hand.
go for it, be
spontaneous and just see what happens. Time is of the essence!!!
There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!
okay, ive been reading some
pua stuff recently, and this may work if you need a definite clue.
figure out some way to move locations and take
her hand while moving locations. squeeze her hand a bit and if she squeezes back you probably can go further.
This
may be awkward, so you can do the david deangelo kiss test. feel her hair (above her ear im thinking) and say
something like it looks so soft. if she doesn't tense up (read her body language), go ahead.
Or you can just do
Mystery's "would you like to kiss me?" test. ask that if she says anything except for No, kiss her. If she says no,
say "i wasn't saying you could".
if you do 2 out of the 3 that should give you a definate answer. Id recommend
doing the DeAngelo one. Its probably the easiest to play off as something not sexual if she rejects you and tenses
up.
i asked her out and she said yes,
but she couldn't say when she'd be able to, so she gave me her number and asked me to call her.
Thanks for the
tips college man! I'll try 2 and 3, but i cant understand the first one...
"figure out some way to move locations
and take her hand while moving locations." not sure what you mean by that.
the squeezing hand thing is
sort of unconsious, it is an indicator of an emotional connection/rapport depending on whose pua guide you use. It
seems as if you already have rapport so this isn't necessary.
And...imo you kinda blew it w/ the dating frame.
A girl wont have sex once you make the relationship into a dating frame. Im assuming that is mostly what youre
after.
You may still be able to get out of a dating frame (if thats what you want, im just assuming here) by
making the event something besides her (a date is her). But once you go on the first date, youre pretty much locked
into the dating frame. off the top of my head, Bowling? if youre good at bowling. but its best for like 4 people
aswell. so...think of something. The key is letting her into something you already could be doing.
well, like i said in my opening
post, i did want a relationship, but its not possible with her since she's going back to Arizona.
So, something
non-serious should be the way to go...i guess. Do you think i should ask her to join me for drinks at a bar or a few
games of pool? something along those lines?
if youre good at pool and it
was possible that youd have gone to play pool neway. sounds good.
Hmm I'm mediocre at pool....So
what you're saying is that i was in the neighborhood playing pool and i asked her to join me. But if I'm alone
with her wouldn't it be like a date? The only way to make it not feel like a date is to invite other people
right?
It doesn't matter what you do,
so long as you both want to do it and go together. Bringing others along would only confuse things. Instead, offer
to meet someplace, like a coffee shop or pool hall. Then think of a reason to leave together.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
yeah do not ask people to
join you. that would mess things up. i mean don't make it formal like a dinner or something. the pool hall idea
sounds fine.
However it does sound like youre past the whole coffee shop thing, and she might take it as if you
think youre stepping back or something like that.
k will do, thanks guys. Will let
you know how it goes.
So we went to a pool hall/bar
Saturday night. She wasn't too good at pool, which was good cos i was holding her hand most of the time and
teaching her how to shoot etc.
We played 4 games, i let her win twice lol. The night ended with me walking her to
her car and we made plans to meet up again over the coming week.
However i do regret not kissing her, i was
waiting for the right timing, and later realized that there were plenty of chances to make my move.
Also i was
wearing Chikara that night.
The next time you two go out, do
something that would intrest her. After all the conversations you have had, surely you know of some of her intrests.
Things seem to be going good,and it sounds like she has a decent intrest in you. It is more important to avoid
doing something stupid to blow it. Just be yourself. It has worked so far.
youre gonna need to escalate
on your next meeting, or otherwise she will get bored/think you want to be friends.
Lycan, you remind me of me when I was your age,
and even now to some extent. Relax. Its been said here before, show her your feelings in a natural way. You
feel something for her, and she feels that and likes it. You can even make a joke with her about your nervousness
which could be very endearing to her. Nervousness is flattering to nice girls, but you can't wait forever. You
don't want to be seen as incapable. Been there regretted that.
All of the advice you've gotten here is good,
you just need to act upon it.
When you're alone and all the world is quiet, hold her hands and look into her
eyes with a smile and kiss her softly on the lips. Just do it. You'll know. Rejection is not nearly as bad as
not trying, but I don't think you have to worry about rejection.
Great advice everyone.
It always pays not to try too hard, nor hestitate in fear. Relax and be yourself.
How about an update Lycan?
How's it going?
-CAt
Lycan,
Anything is possible.
Don't just limit your mind to "just a summer fling" mode. I actually sustained a four year relationship with a
woman that was from here (Seattle) and went to TN for med school. Ok, so it ended really badly due to mistakes on
both of our parts, but I would do it all over again (hopefully not that last bit though).
You've got some really
good suggestions/responses here. Really listen to her. Tease out any hints on what she might enjoy doing next.
One of the most important things on building chemistry and getting the both of you to relax is to make her laugh.
You said you weren't that good at pool . . . how about getting her to laugh at your antics on trying to play.
As for the mones to wear I suggest SOE. It does a great job of getting people in a relaxed/playful mood. Some
people have said that it's not a very sexual type of -mone. Not so. For me this is the most consistant product
that I have in my phero arsenal. You just gotta know how to use it.
-SwingerMD
It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington
I think you have plenty of
indication that she will respond favorably to your advances and it sounds like you are genuinely interested in her.
The only problem is that you will soon be separated geographically. It could be tough, but myself I would probably
throw caution to the wind and get (more) involved. You never know, you might get together again some day.
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
- Buddha
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