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  1. #1
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    Default I need a miracle

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Actually I just need

    some very simple advice here, I hope you don't mind me posting in the women's forum.

    I just got back from

    Vegas from a 10 day vacation playing poker and soaking in the sun. I met the girl of my dreams, she was working at

    a strip club but I felt we really connected. I have been to my fair share of strip clubs and this girl was totally

    honest with me. She came out of the backroom and immediately locked eyes with me and walked up to me and sat on my

    lap with a big smile on her face. She says hi how are you doing tonight? I said South Carolina? She said who me?

    No. Are you from South Carolina? I said nope, I was like o.k. California, she said I live there now but you will

    never guess where I am originally from, so I say Rhode Island and she had a big smile on her face and said very

    close, Massachussetts. I tell her I am from Mass. and asked her if she was a Red Sox fan to which she replied HUGE

    Red Sox fan and I call bullshit and she is like ask me anything, so I asked her about Curt Schilling's last start

    and she quipped, you mean the one where he nearly pitched a no-hitter. We must have talked for another good 30

    minutes, she told me her real name (which I was later able to verify), town she grew up, where she lives and works

    in California, she talked about her family and how she was the middle child of 3 etc...Anyway I felt guilty taking

    up all of her time while she was working, turns out she just flies out to vegas occassionally to make money, she

    works as a waitress and at a bikini bar in cali. while she goes to acting auditions, so I buy two dances off of her.

    I was wearing the less-is-more approach with a smidgen of Primal Instinct behind each ear and she immediately

    picked up on it and kissed me right where it was applied during the dance. After the dance was over I took the

    pressure off of her and told her to go make some money and she agreed. Before I leave I get her attention and ask

    for her digits, she said normally she just takes the guys number but since I was so cool she would give me her

    number.

    Long story short my buddy and I leave the club and play poker and I lose another $500 on a hand I was

    ahead (my KK lost to his JJ all-in preflop). We end up at Denny's for breakfast and service is taking forever, so

    I whip out my phone to check the number she gave me and the number is not there, I am heart broken. It is 5:00AM

    and she surely had left the club by then, but I was not going to give up, this girl was really special to me. I

    hailed a cab and went back to the club, I find out she left early (and I knew where she was staying she told me this

    and that she was flying out to LA the next day). So I am in the cab and I am like o.k. this sucks but I have to go

    back to the house I was renting so we start driving back. About 2 minutes into the ride I go to the driver, hey you

    said you knew where the travelodge is right? He goes yep, I say is it on the way, he's like it is right up here on

    the left buddy. I am like o.k. pull in, it's a last ditch effort but really what do I have to lose.

    So he

    pulls into the parking lot and her description was spot on, a very seedy looking joint, the manager was sitting in

    the parking lot in front of the office in a lawn chair and as we pull up he asks if he can help me, I tell him I

    certainly hope so, so we walk into his office. I tell him I met this girl staying at his hotel and I just have to

    talk to her before she flies out in the morning. He is like o.k. what is her name, I only remembered her first name

    at this point and he is like well I need a last name, I begged the guy and he could tell I was genuine and handed me

    his guest list which contained last names and the first 3 letters of their first name. I find a possible match but

    it turns out that is a guy, I find a second match and the last name rings a bell and this is definitely my girl so

    he gives me the number and it is now 5:15 in the AM and I do not hesitate and call her up.

    She answers the

    phone and I can tell I just woke her up, I apologize for the awkward and weird situation but I met her last night

    and she is like, "who is this?" I tell her I was the crazy red sox fan from last night, and she replies, "who?!?" I

    am like, I am fubar'd here, but I turn the tables on her, and say is this <FIRST_NAME> <LAST_NAME> and she is like,

    "yeah" so I ask her if she remembers talking about curt schilling's almost no hitter and she totally remembered and

    was like hey what is going on? I tell her how I was unsuccessful in saving her phone number and if I could get her

    number again and she is like sure, are you ready, do you have a pen and paper, so I get her digits (again). And

    tell her to have a good night's sleep and safe flight back and I will call her in a few days if that was cool, and

    she says take care as do I.

    I send her a text later that day (I know marginal call at best, but I wanted to

    see if she gave me a legit phone number). I make certain not to apologize in the text just thanked her for making

    my vacation memorable. It goes through so that gives me some confidence she gave me a legit number.

    I called

    her yesterday (I met her Friday night), and I called her 5PM her time, probably not the best time - it rang like 5

    times and her voicemail picked up and it was her name - so that was a bonus. I did not leave a message

    (good/bad?). So the ball is still in my court and was looking for advice on what to say, I feel like I still need

    to sell myself and I am a little worried about our age difference, but that might just be me being insecure. She is

    22 and I am 36, but it does not bother me in the slightest. I googled her name and her story checks out, she was

    actually in a very bad horror movie, she did not tell me when I asked what she had been in because she was probably

    embarrassed, but I thought it was pretty cool. I noticed she did some improv and comedy is a passion of mine so I

    was thinking of working that into a message, something along the lines of - I was stepping out to hit this open mic

    at a local comedy club and just wanted to give you a quick call to get a little boost of confidence before trying

    out my new material. Winner or loser?

    Sorry for the long read, I have not posted much but I figured this was

    my best chance of getting a decent set of responses.

  2. #2
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    Maybe she is who she says she is

    but.... a stripper?
    be very carefull. No, be very very carefull.
    I've know a lot of strippers over the years and

    they love guys like you, a bit of attention, phone number and lock eyes does not mean they are into you, just they

    know how to play a guy and make him think she's into them.
    Seriously, do not take her at face value. I know I

    sound like a negative person but the world is full of guys that thought a (stripper) chick was into them... be aware

    and protect yourself.
    early 40's white male or or

  3. #3
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    Default I don't know....

    seems like

    your first mistake was not trying to be with her that very night and then losing the phone number complicated

    things, she may very well be now freaked out by you for tracking her down, going to her motel room at 5AM is scary

    by most women's standards. I would just call her and leave a message saying you are sorry for screwing up and

    that you won't contact her again but will hope that she contacts you and leave your number. That's probably not

    what you want to hear but I think it's your only hope. The good news is that there are lots more women out

    there.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  4. #4
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    Default

    I agree to a certain extent, I am

    not ready to throw the towel in just yet. Also keep in mind she does not know I came knocking at her hotel, for all

    she knows I remembered her first and last name and called the hotel she was staying at from my hotel room.

    I

    think it is an uphill battle here so I am trying to let time heal all in case she is on the fence, it is a double

    edged sword, if you act too fast you could come across as a creep. I already texted her on Saturday and called her

    on Tuesday, I figure I am safe thru Saturday to contact her again. Doesn't seem too pushy or desperate and she is

    on the other side of the country (I live in nyc). So to steal a line from "friends" I am just going to try to come

    across as "breezy" and hope to pique her interest in my comedy hobby and see if I get a bite, I will leave my phone

    number as well and just hope for the best.

    Believe me, when faced with the choice of tracking her down at her

    hotel (vs. giving up) that was the last thing I wanted to do, but at the same token it was a last resort, if I

    don't do that I lose the girl, unless you want to consider paying for a flight to her hometown in Cali. and visit

    where she works - I could see that as an insta-restraining order so I went for the "safer" option

    We really

    did have good chemistry at the club, she gave me an unexpected kiss on the cheek when she gave me her number the

    first time, and as I was leaving I shook her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek in return.

  5. #5
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    I'd first say be VERY VERY

    careful with strippers. A lot of the money they make depends on convincing men that they're interested when in all

    likelihood they aren't.

    She's an actress too, so that's a red flag when combined with the stripper thing.

    Just BE CAREFUL.

    It's probably a good thing if she's being truthful and really only does do it

    occasionally. It would be more worrisome if she was a full-time stripper, because it seems to be a hard thing to get

    out of.

    I'm afraid calling her so early in the morning may have been a bit too creepy. It's almost

    impossible to uncreep a woman after you creep them out. I think you'd be better off waiting to see how much/if she

    contacts you. Leave the ball in her court. You have to prove to her that you're not that creepy kind of guy she's

    probably exposed to CONSTANTLY as a stripper and bikini bar waitress.

  6. #6
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    Default

    i hate to say this but your

    chances of getting with this girl are essentially zero.

    since she is a stripper, she's been trained to seem

    interested in guys. it's how they make money (and it worked, right? you bought dances off her).

    remember that

    as a stripper, she comes across dozens of guys every time she works who would be very interested in getting with

    her.

    the fact that she didn't remember you too well probably points to the fact that she talks to a good deal

    of different guys everyday.

    unfortunately, you also made things worse by playing the typical "nice guy" role...

    asking her if it's alright to call her: "And tell her ... I will call her in a few days if that was cool", texting

    her to say she was the best part of your vacation, "thanked her for making my vacation memorable".

    strippers

    come across a great deal of nice guys who they have to deal with. from your actions, i don't really see anything

    that differentiated you from the dozens of other guys who have probably tried to pursue her.

    something tells me

    though that you'll still try to see where things go with her. if you do, let us know how it goes in this thread.

  7. #7
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    I hate to say it, but nearly all

    the strippers I've met just seem to connect, are honest and really like me. That's how they get all my money!

    After all, they're pros at enticing men. And sure, some of them really do like me and the pheromones help inspire

    them to put their heart in it. I've even dated a fair number of them. However you gotta put it in perspective: they

    meet a new guy like me every few minutes 6 or 7 nights a week. If she's interested you gotta act fast--before she

    clears the memory buffer--or you're off her radar. With all that said, strippers are great fun to party with but

    usually make terrible girlfriends. They have bad habits, stay out all night and tease other guy's dicks for a

    living. I've always been extremely disappointed after a few dates.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  8. #8
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    Default Good luck, buddy!

    Some of

    you guys crack me up...

    Hmmm... You're 36 and she's 22, and a stripper. And YOU'RE wondering what to

    do, Wow!

    Has she called YOU yet?

  9. #9
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    Well I guess any thread about

    strippers you can expect to get slammed like this.

    First off she is not a stripper, she does it on the side,

    she wants to act, she has acted, but to pay the rent she works as a waitress and a bartender at a bikini bar. Maybe

    she lied to me and actually is a full-time stripper in L.A. but it was pretty easy to spot her when she was

    lying.

    While I agree most strippers are into sales and that is their goal while on the job - she didn't try

    to upgrade me to V.I.P. after spending 30 minutes chatting with me on her lap. For those that have been to strip

    clubs, isn't 30 minutes pretty excessive? Without a hard pitch at the end. Not once did she even ask me if I

    wanted a dance, I volunteered it because I knew she was there to make money and I wanted to see her naked,

    lol.

    I still don't get why she would give me her real phone number, that does not compute into the equation

    - she lives on the west coast, I am on the east coast - she easily could have either said no or given me a bogus

    number - I made it clear I was on my way out, so what was her angle? I think it just comes down to this happens

    with regular girls as well, they give out their number to guys that are "maybe's", the ball is in their court to

    convert that maybe to a yes. While the text was on the cheesy side and more of a "safe play", I really do not see

    what I could have texted that would have upped my stock. Like I mentioned before I called her once and got her

    voicemail, I was more happy then anything that it was her voicemail rather then some random wrong number. I waited

    until Monday night to call her, midnight my time and 8PM her time, was on the phone for about 1 minute between

    listening to her message and leaving mine. I told her not to bother calling me back that night since it was late

    but that she could call me later in the week.

    I don't think I will hear back from her, what is her

    incentive? I live in nyc and she lives in L.A. I may try her 1 more time next week and leave a very brief message

    that I was going out to do a comedy gig and try that as a hook and then just forget about her. It's a shame though

    - but I guess that's life.

  10. #10
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    Glad you are getting over

    this...

    When I read this post my first thought was the song "I'm in love with a stripper".

    It's all a

    game... if you wanna play, stack the deck and never show your hand.

    Here's a quote from Captain Zapp Brannigan,

    "In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."

    and if you get in w/her here's another

    quote by Captain Zapp Brannigan, "If we can hit that bull's-eye,
    the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house

    of cards. Checkmate!"

    "The whole world must learn of our peaceful ways, by force!"

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by bivonic View Post
    First off

    she is not a stripper, she does it on the side
    she is a Stripper!

    I once met a prostitute that

    worked only on weekends, and kept a normal day job for the rest of the week, guess what? she is still a prostitute,

    part time or full time, it didnt matter.

    dude, this is just my personal opinion, but I have more respect or

    rather sympathy for prostitutes than for strippers, strippers are the biggest gold diggers on the planet, in fact

    they a professioal gold diggers, they will suck you dry and spit you out without a second thought

  12. #12
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    Well, from a woman's point of

    view, if I were you wouldn't concentrate any more on this girl. First off, like other people have said, she is a

    stripper even if she just does it on the side. Also, I know you said that you had a connection with her, but she

    lives on the other side of the country! She might not have taken you seriously because of that. Another thing is she

    doesn't sound like she is very stable in her life and she is also very young. I'll be honest, and I know not all

    girls are like this, but when I was 22, a guy age 36 was a little old for me. If she hasn't contacted you back and

    it has been a while, she isn't that into you. Trust me, you are much better off without her.

  13. #13
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bivonic View Post
    Well I

    guess any thread about strippers you can expect to get slammed like this.

    First off she is not a stripper,

    she does it on the side, she wants to act, she has acted, but to pay the rent she works as a waitress and a

    bartender at a bikini bar. Maybe she lied to me and actually is a full-time stripper in L.A. but it was pretty easy

    to spot her when she was lying.

    While I agree most strippers are into sales and that is their goal while on

    the job - she didn't try to upgrade me to V.I.P. after spending 30 minutes chatting with me on her lap. For those

    that have been to strip clubs, isn't 30 minutes pretty excessive? Without a hard pitch at the end. Not once did

    she even ask me if I wanted a dance, I volunteered it because I knew she was there to make money and I wanted to see

    her naked, lol.

    I still don't get why she would give me her real phone number, that does not compute into

    the equation - she lives on the west coast, I am on the east coast - she easily could have either said no or given

    me a bogus number - I made it clear I was on my way out, so what was her angle? I think it just comes down to this

    happens with regular girls as well, they give out their number to guys that are "maybe's", the ball is in their

    court to convert that maybe to a yes. While the text was on the cheesy side and more of a "safe play", I really do

    not see what I could have texted that would have upped my stock. Like I mentioned before I called her once and got

    her voicemail, I was more happy then anything that it was her voicemail rather then some random wrong number. I

    waited until Monday night to call her, midnight my time and 8PM her time, was on the phone for about 1 minute

    between listening to her message and leaving mine. I told her not to bother calling me back that night since it was

    late but that she could call me later in the week.

    I don't think I will hear back from her, what is her

    incentive? I live in nyc and she lives in L.A. I may try her 1 more time next week and leave a very brief message

    that I was going out to do a comedy gig and try that as a hook and then just forget about her. It's a shame though

    - but I guess that's life.
    I used to chase strippers years (and years) ago. It was fun, and

    frustrating. I only got 2, out of many attempts, into the sack, one was very disappointing and the other rocked,

    but I also knew that she rocked others as well. Fun while it lasted, it just wasn't what I wanted.

    Also, I

    "dated" a strip club waitress, not dancer, for a while. This was all in the early 80s mind you, and I was

    twentysomething, so don't cast aspersions on my present character. When it was slow at the club we'd

    sit around and "people-watch" the men who filtered through. Usually some of the dancers would be around the table

    and join in the fun. Believe me, they had every guy who walked in pegged for something.

    Every once in a

    while a guy would come in and go absolutely bonkers over a girl. Some of the girls would play him for everything

    she could get, the smarter girls would shut him down, not wanting the hassle or potential trouble, which could be

    very dangerous for them. I don't expect much has changed since then.

    She gave you her number because she

    knew that the two of you would never connect, living on opposite coasts, and doing so maintained your fantasy for

    the moment, avoiding any discord. Why her real number? They have fantasies too, or rather insecurities, and it

    usually feeds on male attention, which is pretty much a shallow fix for a deep problem. These girls are, for the

    most part, very nice people, but almost always have deep seated issues, even the "part-time-make-a-few-bucks

    girls.

    Give it up. These girls have skills and problems you don't know about.

    As always, open to

    correction,
    Greg

  14. #14
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    Idesign

    Which girl

    doesn't have issues and stuff...? I haven't meet a girl that hasn't had one or more things.. Usually many..
    WorkingMann - you've been there, done that!

  15. #15
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Hi WM,

    You're right in a

    way, but a key part of making their living is manipulating men, shamelessly and without remorse. Can't blame them

    for that, it just is.

    As far as all women having "things", the same could be said for men.

    But when you get

    to be my age you can meet some pretty together ladies, the ones who care about improving themselves and getting rid

    of the baggage. Of course those are the good ones, and are harder to find. Although I've dated, over the years,

    women in their 20s and 30s who were pretty sane.

    Besides all that, tell me you want a relationship with a woman

    who takes her clothes off in public every night and grinds her booty on any lap that has a twenty laying on it.



    Again, not passing judgement on anyone, hell, I've already told you I ran fast and hard with the best (and

    worst) of them.

    Just throwing out my dos centavos.
    Greg

  16. #16
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    point taken... hehe
    even

    though im dating an older lady now she not even as you described and haven't meet anyone yet that hasn't had much

    to complain about and problems/issues..

    BBBut I know it's because of many guy treating them bad etc. but

    sometimes it just gets me that you cant get a girl you dont have to sit and have therapi lessons with every other

    night...
    WorkingMann - you've been there, done that!

  17. #17
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    I feel your pain WM

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    bivonic,all of these

    people are telling you the same thing,and they can't all be wrong!

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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign View Post
    Hi WM,



    You're right in a way, but a key part of making their living is manipulating men, shamelessly and without

    remorse. Can't blame them for that, it just is.

    As far as all women having "things", the same could be said for

    men.

    But when you get to be my age you can meet some pretty together ladies, the ones who care about improving

    themselves and getting rid of the






    baggage. Of course those are the good ones, and are harder to

    find. Although I've dated, over the years, women in their 20s and 30s who were pretty sane.

    Besides all that,

    tell me you want a relationship with a woman who takes her clothes off in public every night and grinds her booty on

    any lap that has a twenty laying on it.

    Again, not passing judgement on anyone, hell, I've already told you I

    ran fast and hard with the best (and worst) of them.

    Just throwing out my dos centavos.
    Greg








    I like the way you think and enjoy reading your posts. Looking forward to more wisdom from you.

  20. #20
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Thanks tongue, appreciate the

    remarks, but I'm not so sure about the wisdom part. Hopefully I've learned from my stupid mistakes, but there are

    no guaratees!

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign View Post
    Thanks tongue,

    appreciate the remarks, but I'm not so sure about the wisdom part. Hopefully I've learned from my stupid

    mistakes, but there are no guaratees!
    It's the only way we learn , anyone that says they haven't is

    just kidding themselves.

    early 40's white male or or

  22. #22
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Also I may someday learn to

    spell "guarantees"... and find less painful ways of learning that there are none.

  23. #23
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    Don't worry idesign,
    I've got

    atrocious spelling , thank god for the dictionary on my mac desktop otherwise my posts would be (more)

    unreadable!

    Boy do we know how to burst bivonics bubble, We gave him all the advice he didn't want to hear....
    early 40's white male or or

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    Quote Originally Posted by idesign;200:angel:

    781
    Thanks tongue, appreciate the remarks, but I'm not so sure about the wisdom part. Hopefully I've learned from

    my stupid mistakes, but there are no guaratees!


    Best way to learn. But, I'm sure you already knew

    that.

  25. #25
    Moderator idesign's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bivonic View Post
    Well I

    guess any thread about strippers you can expect to get slammed like this.
    Hi bivonic,

    Sorry you felt

    like you got slammed. Some of us fail to take into account that there are real people on the other end of the

    keyboard.

    This girl got to you where it counts, and when the "thunderbolt" strikes you just have to go with it

    sometimes. No problem. Hope you're moving on, there will be more strikes down the road!

    Greg

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