Having trouble meeting people at college (especially females)

[manchorito]

It's only been about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i

never had a problem with meeting new people, but for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have

lost all my communication skills. i was always easy to talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather

it be meeting new friends or trying to meet some girls, i just don't know what to do.

also, i have 8:00

class friday morning, so i can't really party thursday night like everybody else.

i don't know, i'm just

unsure as to rather or not i would like to stay here. i know it's my future, but at this pace, i'd be failing my

classes with this kind of mindset, anyways. i can't really see myself find a core group of friends like i had in

high school, either.

i was just wondering if there are any pheromones that could help me with this kind of

problem. obviously it won't solve my problem, but i'm sure it can't hurt.

also, any kind of advice would

be really great for a long time board member. thanks,

-sam

[Mtnjim]

It's only been

about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i never had a problem with meeting new people, but for

some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my communication skills. i was always easy to

talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather it be meeting new friends or trying to meet some

girls, i just don't know what to do.

Quite normal!!
In high school your "core of friends" probably

began grouping around you in elementary school, but you don't remember how long it took to make them. You're in a

new environment, so it'll take a while here too. Don't worry about it friends will come soon

enough.

Oh by the way, you're going to gain 15 pounds too; "the Freshman Fifteen"!

[terry0400-40]

Your a complete man with a clear objective, dont feel out of place,all of those at the late

night partys still have their issues to deal with as we all have, stick with your plans as they are your best

option, most new people will feel out of place who are in your position so dont feel isolated and think you are the

only one, have patience and do your thing , and be your own man as you are wise in not partying with classes next

day, there is always a time and place and you will have your share of fun and also stay with your agenda and you

will meet some friends who will be compatable with you, the main thing is dont worry, dont be in a hurry, just enjoy

being the dynamic and unique person that you really are, and do it in your way and at your own pace to fit in with

your own plans, just relax and picture yourself amoungst nice people and the world will be at your feet, Have

patience and BELIEVE. As far as pheromones are concerned and if you have an interest and a bit of spare time for

experementation then why not try some Liquid Trust ( LT ) or perhaps some Scent of Eros ( SOE ) have a look

around and take your time Your the Man.

[Holmes]

Use SoE and be as open and

friendly as you can. Get involved in a lot of activities, clubs, etc. You've only been there a week-and-a-half.

Now is the time to start putting yourself out there.

The wonderful thing about college is that it's

nothing like High School.

[Gegogi]

The main reason to attend college

is to get an education. It is not by nature a social gathering. So put your nose to the grindstone and study your

ass off. You'll start to forget your woes. Study is your purpose and main job. It will pay off big time in the

future. No desirable woman of substance will be interested in a man without a bright future, and that bright future

usually requires a college education.

With that said, it sounds like you grew up in a small town and are used

to the support structure of friends and family. You're new on a big campus and have no social standing. I attended

UW--a campus with 50,000 students--and recall feeling lost for the first few months. I'm sure if you take some of

the above advice you'll be in like flint by semester's end: move in the dorms, join a frat, enroll in a club, etc.

I made lots of friends by taking "social fun" classes like acting workshop, dance and tennis. I immediately

recognized most folks were taking those classes for the same reasons as me. I also met lots of women in study groups

for my classes.

I felt the anonymous nature of a large campus was conducive to serious study. If I had all

the friends I had in HS I'd never made it through grad school. A big campus has less distractions than living at

home and attending a local community college.

I concurr with using SOE and getting out

there.

Incidentally, most folks I knew that were into partying flunked out pretty quickly.

[koolking1]

I remeber you from

way back!!! By and large, there's nothing but great advice on this board from people who've been there before, no

matter the topic. Good Luck in your studies and get a bunch of A's right off the bat in the first semester,

you'll feel great about everything then.

[Mak]

i never had a

problem with meeting new people, but for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my

communication skills.
-sam

I'd go put on few sprays of Anol.

Hopefully once people start to feel

you are ok, or even fun, to be around, you can excercise / restore your own magic with the new crowd.

[slickracer]

shoot if i were you i put on

decent amount of AE and go hang out with some black guys. cause i always get mad respect hits from black guys when

wearing AE.

and they are always very domanate in nature, so they always seem to be attracting girls.

[maxo-texas]

Join a social club or frat

that appeals to your nature.

I hate frats but I respect they are instant friends (and a lot of long term

instant friends too).

Don't join a social club of something you dislike- you'll just get attracted to people

you don't like in the long term.

[Tori]

I'm feeling the same

thing, Manchorito, except I just returned to college at the ripe old age of 39! So it's twice as awkward because I

stick out like a sore thumb. There are some other adults there but it seems like most of the other students are

half my age! I would definitely try the Liquid Trust. Plus, spend some time observing the people in your classes,

pick a few people you think you'd like and just jump in and talk to them. I had to force myself to do that, still

do, but I'm getting to know some people and when I'm relaxed around them I can tell they respond really well to

that. I'm really shy so it was hard to just start talking to people but it felt even more awkward to sit in a

class full of people and never talk to anyone! And, yes, definitely keep your nose in the books-ITS IMPORTANT!!!!!!

(speaking from experience here )

[Holmes]

I'm feeling the same

thing, Manchorito, except I just returned to college at the ripe old age of 39! So it's twice as awkward because I

stick out like a sore thumb. There are some other adults there but it seems like most of the other students are

half my age! I would definitely try the Liquid Trust. Plus, spend some time observing the people in your classes,

pick a few people you think you'd like and just jump in and talk to them. I had to force myself to do that, still

do, but I'm getting to know some people and when I'm relaxed around them I can tell they respond really well to

that. I'm really shy so it was hard to just start talking to people but it felt even more awkward to sit in a

class full of people and never talk to anyone! And, yes, definitely keep your nose in the books-ITS IMPORTANT!!!!!!

(speaking from experience here )

I'm glad you posted this, as I might soon be in a similar

position (if fortune breaks its poker face). And while I'm not quite 39, I ain't exactly 22, either. Has it proven

as difficult as it would seem to relate to/blend in with the kids?

Btw - I agree with keeping focused on your

studies - and that an acting workshop or dance class is never a bad idea.

[Gegogi]

Of course every campus is

different. An older student may feel out of place at an ivy leauge or heavily greek college. However, many community

colleges have a nice mix of younger and older students, mainly due to older adults returning to college after

getting laid off (e.g., Boeing sprung for 2 years of job training for many laid-off employees in N. Seattle). Also,

night classes tend to be filled with "adult" students. I used to teach night class at a community college and it was

rare to have a student younger than 30. The cool thing about older students is they usually know what they want and

are highly motivated. Day classes were like romper room...

[belgareth]

Day classes were

like romper room...

Isn't that the truth. I started college after my stint in the army. The kids

around me were only a few years younger than me but seemed so young and immature. I did well with the women then

because at that age women are more mature than the males of the same age. It made things really easy. Show some self

confidence and maturity and you'll have it made.

[Tori]

Of course every

campus is different. An older student may feel out of place at an ivy leauge or heavily greek college. However, many

community colleges have a nice mix of younger and older students, mainly due to older adults returning to college

after getting laid off (e.g., Boeing sprung for 2 years of job training for many laid-off employees in N. Seattle).

Also, night classes tend to be filled with "adult" students. I used to teach night class at a community college and

it was rare to have a student younger than 30. The cool thing about older students is they usually know what they

want and are highly motivated. Day classes were like romper room...

That's what happened to me. I got

laid off in June and went back to school in July. I am loving every minute of it, too! I'm so grateful to have the

opportunity to change the direction of my life. The day classes do have a lot of kids in them but I had to take a

night class next term so I'm interested to see the mix of people and ages. Yeah, us old geezers are highly

motivated because we have enough work experience to know what we want to do.

[MOBLEYC57]

It's only

been about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i never had a problem with meeting new people, but

for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my communication skills. i was always

easy to talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather it be meeting new friends or trying to meet

some girls, i just don't know what to do.

also, i have 8:00 class friday morning, so i can't really party

thursday night like everybody else.

i don't know, i'm just unsure as to rather or not i would like to stay

here. i know it's my future, but at this pace, i'd be failing my classes with this kind of mindset, anyways. i

can't really see myself find a core group of friends like i had in high school, either.

i was just wondering

if there are any pheromones that could help me with this kind of problem. obviously it won't solve my problem, but

i'm sure it can't hurt.

also, any kind of advice would be really great for a long time board member. thanks,



-sam

Hey, aren't you the 6'8" and 280 pound fella that constantly refer to women/ladies as the B

word? If I remember correctly, and it tis you ... you probably intimidate the hell out of people. WAGG, SOE,

and LT should become your closest friends!

[Sigma]

My campus has 35,000 students in

it. If yours is anything like mine, then people tend to go about their business and pay no mind to the people

around them...its a very big disctinction from high school, where everyone seems concerned with their peers, and

theres an intertwined group of social circles. In high shcool everyone knows each other one way or another. In

college, you may run into someone, and never see them again.

Contrary to what most people believe, highly

populated college campuses are not the best place to meet women. College is a great time to meet women, but

randomly approaching women on campus will be a bust 99% of the time (I know from experience).

Your best bet is to

get involved in some sort of campus activity or group. These groups are geared more towards socializing with your

peers on some common end. At least then you'll have a area of common interest with the people around you, and hey,

you have a reason to be talking to them now. I've met quite a few women through these groups, particularly in this

one marketing organization I joined simply because a lot of women go into marketing in my school lol.

Another

cool thing about joining these groups is that you start to establish a long web of networks in which you're bound

to meet quality women in. Meet people, get to know them, and don't be shy about going out with their friends and

what not.

I felt the same way you did when I first started college, but now I found that I've got a good network

of friends whom I run into regularly on campus, and am meeting people all the time. I've found people to study

with, and I've found people to party with. In fact once school runs around, I hardly see my friends who aren't in

college.