Suggested excuses for not going to work
Reply With Quote201. I dropped my car keys in the snow and I'm waiting for the temperature to warm up so I
can find
them.
202. I'm sorry I am late, but it was foggy and I missed the
building.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]203. This is an actual excuse from a waitress. I have a bear in my freezer at
home. If I don't get it to the taxidermist soon It will
freezer-burn.
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204. Actually used "I won't be in today coz my hair is still
wet!"
the street and there's a ditch in front of his house and when he went to jump it he missed, fell and thinks he has
some broken ribs and I have to bring him to the
hospital.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]206. A lady I work with always calls in with various excuses. Last spring she
called in for two days saying her landlord had beaten her up. She moved over the summer. A few weeks ago she called
in for the same
reason.
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uses. One night, she had to go home early because she got an "emergency" phone call from her husband. He needed her
to come home because their dog couldn't
poop.
there is a 10 foot snowdrift in our driveway (only snowed 10 inches) and we cant get the truck out (its a
4x4).
today.
Vet!
a car. I'm in the emergency room right now. (But I did talk the Receptionist through how to do my morning tasks) I
showed up in a cast, and crutches BEFORE
NOON!)
could not come in because she had to counsel a friend who was going to commit suicide. (It was a different friend
each time, gee could this have something to do with her
personality?)
213. I lost my voice and can not teach today. (if you are a teacher, or need
to talk for any reason at your job) Actually you can not call in sick, because you have no voice and need to take
voice
rest.
due to all of the methane gas that will be coming out of me. It would not be a productive work day for
anyone.
were long. A driver got off early (he definitely didn't like the hours) by claiming he was so tired that he s**t
his pants. We called him "pooper" after
that.
excuse: I had to round up a group of Giraffes on the motorway (freeway) - apparently they had escaped from a local
circus....... Yeah
right!
the afternoon off. He was famous for his excuses so I was compelled to at least hear him out. I asked him why he
wanted off for the afternoon and he said, "this afternoon my wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there."
Needless to say I let him
go.
office. Friday our schedule was already booked solid for Monday, so as we were leaving, I joking told them that I
would be calling in Monday to tell them I was in labor. Because of the schedule, my co-workers laughed and told me I
had better be there or they would come get me. Well, Monday morning (early) I went into labor and had the baby 40
minutes before I should have been at work. I called my boss and told him I had the baby and wouldn't be in. The
only problem was 2 other people had called in sick. I had the best excuse
though.
and grandpa won't give her money all the
time.
blocking my
driveway.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]221. For obvious reasons this is for Mondays only, "I won't be in today because
I think it's still
Sunday."
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=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]222. LATE FOR WORK EXCUSES:
1. I decided to take a short cut so I could get to
work early but made a wrong turn.
2. I opened the door to leave the house and the damn dog got out! The gate in
the yard was open and the damn dog ran through the neighborhood with me running after him. I finally caught him 2
blocks away from the house doing the poodle.
3. PENDOT (Pennsylvania Department of Transportation [road
maintenance]) decided they didn't cause enough grief and created another road project to slow down the people that
found their way around the other road repair routes.
4. TRAFFIC! It was unbelievable. (This person walks to
work!)
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make right hand turns all the way
here.
in with, but it was the truth.
I was all ready to leave for work, when all of a sudden a bunch of fire trucks and
ambulances pulled onto my street. I was parked out front. I lived in an apartment across from lake Michigan. my car
was blocked, I couldn't get out. I called my boss and told him I would be late because my car was blocked by
emergency vehicles. I then went down to find out what was happening. As I got down to the ground floor, I found a
fireman standing by his truck watching the others searching down by the water. I asked him what happened. He said
someone called in saying there was a body floating in the water. This was after the beaches were closed for the
season. Everyone assumed this body was dead. After waiting for about half an hour, the firemen casually packed up
and started leaving. I asked the fireman, who gave me the original information, what happened. he said, the body got
up and walked away. It was a swimmer, but the lake was so turbulent, someone saw this person and thought it was a
dead body. Needless to say, when I arrived at the office, I was asked what happened. I had to tell the story,
without cracking up. I figured if I laughed, they wouldn't believe
me.
out in the bottom of the pool, so I have to go to the dentist for new ones. (True
story)
225 work excuses at this website. Doesn't matter...I'm the only employee and the boss is at work in another city.
There's no phone there, either. We use our cell phones. Of course, if she reads this she may fire me, but that's
okay...I'm retired
anyway.
late because the gate to my apartments wouldn't open and it was the only exit gate. Of course, my boss did not
believe
me.
cremated.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]229. I took my new engagement ring off, put it on the counter, and believe that
it fell into the garbage. So I need today off to search for the
ring.
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husband through them out. I need to go look for
them.
all itchy and swollen so I can't come
in.
today.
of raccoons living in my wall. I have to wait for the exterminator so I won't be in to
work.
Teacher.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]235. I have to meet with my child's Guidance Counselor so I can't make it in
today.
[/FONT]
today.
having monthly
problems.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]238. I have to go to my GRAND Childs Graduation from Nursery, Pre-K,
Kindergarten, 6th grade, dancing,
gymnastics....
[/FONT][IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IMG
]239. I have to take my Child, Mother, Grandparent, to the Doctor, Lawyer,
Dentist, Motor Vehicle Dept, Social Security Office,
shopping....
FONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]240. I could not come to work because my truck would not turn
left.
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them down every day that I was late.
1. A big dog was blocking the road.
2. I was stuck driving slow behind a
backhoe.
3. I hate getting up in the morning.
4. I could not find my keys - they fell beside the bed.
5. I
couldn't get gas last night because I got a flat tire while Christmas shopping so I had to get gas this
morning.
6. I wanted to sleep as much as possible.
7. I hit every red light.
8. I had to find some stuff.
9. I hit a branch and it wedge in my
mirror.
there.
couldn't shut it down until I was
finished.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]244. We had an employee come into work at 7:00 a.m., then had to leave the
jobsite at 9:45 because he shit his pants and would not be back into work that day. He quit the next day out of
embarrassment. (True
story)
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screwed at least 35 people. So my body is pretty worn out. Maybe I will be there tomorrow, unless I do it again
tonight.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]246. Sorry, I can't come to work today because last night I was awakened by the
phone and some woman telling me my psychic's advisor's head just blew up and I should be
warned.
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her backyard so she would not be coming to work. She had to stay home to protect the bunny from the crow. Honest to
God, that is the excuse she
used!
wouldn't be in to work that day because her vagina hurt and he had to take her to the doctor. True
story.
was burnt out, slipped on them, twisted my ankle, and when I fell, broke two of my
fingers.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]250. I had to call in late as I was waiting for a taxi, my car had 2 flat tyres!
The little Italian fella in my block of flats thought I was in his car park!! He did not even have a car, so he
stuck a stake in the tyres, to teach me a
lesson.
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likely candidate for the second
coming.
be bothered to lie, which shows you exactly how much I care about your stinking job anyway. (actually
used)
damn sympathetic on the telephone I may as well make a holiday out of it...SUCKER! (actually
thought)
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]254. I cant come in today as I have to go to Mozambique to do some relief work. I
should have told you before that I work for the Red Cross relief in my spare time, but it didn't seem important at
the
time.
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stay at home. Apart from the bus fare, the prices in your canteen are outrageous and I always end up drinking at
lunchtime to cope with the depression of working for
you.
yesterday, so don't be surprised if you don't see
me.
doctor.
items and have a kitchen. One of the shifts is from 4-11 pm. On a Friday night (most busiest), an employee didn't
show up or call in. His roommate, who also was an employee was called to find out where the missing employee was. He
was supposed to be there at 7pm. The roomie said that he had left at 6pm to come to work. I fired him the next day.
The next week I get a phone call at work from I'll call him Bill. He asked me if he was fired. I started laughing,
and confirmed it. He had told me that he had been in jail all week in a state that was was 3 or 4 states away. He
had the ticket to prove it, he just had gotten back and called. I told him to bring me in the ticket and we'd
discuss it. Ten minutes later I came running out of my office screaming, I had realized on the day he had pulled a
no call/no show that I had given him his paycheck only 7 hours earlier!!!! The other state was at least 6 hours
away. So he either didn't plan on coming to work or he thought that he would get back in time. I then found out 3
days later that he had in fact been in jail for two hours the following day. He must of forgot like I did that I had
given him his check, and I guess he had also forgot that he had to sign for his check. I haven't heard from him in
a
week.
construction site. When he didn't show up we spent the entire day knocking on his van door, calling his cell phone,
worried he might be laying in there dead. He showed up the next morning, and told me "the whores kept him up all
night and his knees hurt". Took me 3 weeks to find out our local police had a "sting" operating; he was watching
from a concrete
deck.
(He has an artificial
leg)
possible from employment applicants who missed their job interviews. Until one day I heard the "mother" of excuses
for a missed appointment. I called an applicant and said, "Well, I just heard from the employer that you didn't
make your job interview today. What happened?" Here's the reply: "My mother fell down the elevator shaft."
True?
No idea. I couldn't bear to ask for
details.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]262. I worked as a corporate trainer for a large company for four years training
their new co-workers. This excuse was left on my voice mail from a co-worker in his FIRST week of work about three
hours after the class had started: I was out late last night and after the bars closed I came home and started to do
the homework you gave me (just filling out some order forms for practice). So in order to stay up, I took some
PILLS. Anyway I just woke up and I'm sorry I'm not going to be in
today.
[/FONT]
hours at work an employee was pissed off and said he was going home because there was pidgins on his balcony and he
had to tell his landlord right now. Not only did the lead hand let him go, but the boss picked him up 2 blocks away,
talked to him and gave him a ride home. Now there's
intelligence.
264. I can't come to work today because I have the brown bottle flu.
(Actually used as an
excuse)
today.
to wait for someone to give my car a jump
start.
"Sorry Chief, I was laying in my rack sound asleep and I was dreaming I was at home, well, I forgot I was in the
Navy."
on the King's birthday. (The King being
Elvis)!!
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]269. Uh....Boss? Your not going to believe this, but the faucet on the side of the
well house broke and water ran down and puddled around the tires. As you know, it was below freezing last night, and
now my tires are frozen to the ground. And to make matters worse, my uncle punched a hole in the front driver side
tire with the ice pick he was using to help me get the truck loose. I'll be in as soon as I get the truck loose and
replace the
tire.
[/FONT]
shoelaces.
NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]271. I won't be coming in today, my fish has respiratory
problems.
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T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]272. I can't come to work, someone put acid (LSD) in my drink as a joke. Now
I'm
tripping.
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T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]273. IT snowed last night. Pow for
now!!!!!
[/FONT]
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]274. A coworker of mine called in because her 27 year old married daughter, who is
a registered nurse, was sick & she had to take care of her. This same person also called in one time because her dog
had a sore leg & she had to take it to the
vet.
[/FONT]
trees were knocked down. I headed to work the next morning, but kept having to turn around, no matter what road I
took. "Hi, this is so and so, I can't come in to work today because all the roads are blocked by trees. I guess if
I got a front loader and a chainsaw, I could move them out of the way. But by the time I did that, the shift would
be over. So I won't be coming
in.
because we have an electric garage door! It works and it's
true!
unlock the door...no spare key available!!!.(true
story)
"gems". I can't come in today because: * I have a belly-button infection (and subsequent supposed same-day
surgery). * The dog jumped on me and got me all dirty, so I had to take a shower. While shampooing, I ran out of
water and had to rinse my hair with flavored club soda, and now I'm all sticky and my hair looks too bad to come to
work.
telephone is cut off and my wife bounced $700 worth of bad
checks.
line.
home early two different days, called in sick four days and was late to work three days because she had the
"hiccups". Actually happened and she got paid for it because she was
salaried.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]282. I know I was supposed to be at work at 5pm, but I got out of school at 4 and
by the time I showered, ate and went to visit my friend who is in the hospital it was 7pm. This was the excuse given
by a boy who's mother works in our company home office in Arkansas.
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(again).
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]284. I can't come to work today. My car's airbag deployed while I was driving. I
think it was because I was going about 85 and abruptly hit a speed bump. there fore, I am semi paralyzed but the
doctor said I should be better in a week or
two.
[/FONT]
was already late for work called in saying she was going to be late. She had overslept, not feeling too well and
asked if I could handle things on my own for a couple hours. About two hours later, she called in again and said
she's not going to be able to make it till later this afternoon. Her excuse was that she had been at a party the
night before and had too much to drink, so her boyfriend drove her home and now she doesn't know what he did with
the car
keys.
friend Lisa were all arrested yesterday and I have to go see a lawyer and take them some items to the jail.
I answered it and someone that sounded familiar to me. But half asleep I could not recognize the voice. They said to
me, "I will not be in to work today. On my way in I got into a car accident and am in the emergency room hurt pretty
badly". I was very confused as I did not have any employees, and I was a teenager at the time. So after I told them
this, I hung up and thought about it for awhile and realized the voice was one of my family members. She sounded
very ill so I went and woke my mom. We called and got her mom out of bed who also was worried. We found her in her
bed asleep. After checking all the local emergency rooms we later found out she was drunk and had accident and
dialed my
number.
it. She tells whoever happens to answer the phone to tell our boss that she wont be in today, because she is having
a "dark day" and tell the boss not to bother calling because she is taking the phone off of the hook, closing the
blinds and locking the door. She's gonna be in trouble if we ever change
managers.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]289. I really don't ever call off of work. But the old, I was coughing so hard
my chest muscles hurt, so I took Nyquil at 4 am and slept till 2 in the afternoon is a good one. That really
happened to me. And once, I didn't show up or call off, and when my boss called, I told her that I think I had shot
my boys father, because I couldn't find the bullet hole in my walls or furniture, so I must have got him. (True
Story)
[/FONT]
squirts...lol
291. As summer approached several workers in the office took days off to
attend graduations for their family members...one guy (who had no kids or grandkids) also took a day off for a
graduation. When asked who was graduating he answered , with a straight face, My dog is graduating from obedience
school, and I have to be
there!
pick me up from work and on the way home we got another flat. So we had to call for a ride because we had 2 flat
tires. All the tire places were closed by the time we got a ride and so we have to replace the tire, get a ride to
the car, and change the other flat tire and then get it fixed. 2) 6 months later... remember when we had 2 flat
tires, well, we never got a new spare and now I have another flat tire and need to get it fixed. I ended up buying 6
new tires within 8 months due to punctures from gravel...
(a couple hours later) I was cradling my alarm in my arms. This really happened twice! I ended up buying a different
clock and putting it across the room. Fortunately I am the type of worker who always shows up early and works late
so no one did anything other than tease
me...
up.
thought a manager from another store was working that
day.
of nights; well on the first day of a day set one of the employees did not show up so we called him and he said he
forgot we were working days. Another time when he was late for a night shift we called him and he told us he over
slept. Well the boss thought that was impossible and was making fun of this guy till the next night the boss
overslept for the night
shift.
cough and a sneeze and a sound of gagging, as in throwing up)
couldn't come in to work because her grandpa got run over by a Greyhound bus. Playing on the radio at the time was
"Grandma Got Run Over By a
Reindeer."
NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]299. I am behind in child support payments and X wife can not afford baby sitter
today. So I must stay home and take care of my kid, and it worked better than I thought it
would.
[/FONT]
bit and he used to call in with some novel excuse. One time he used this one:.."I can't come in to work today
because the Martians landed in my back yard and I got radiation poisoning.." This guy even called in sick AFTER he
retired. Another guy I worked with called in one time with Zambeesey (Zam-bee-see) crotch
rot.
to stay home and help shell
peas!!
dirty.
the river fishing, and that they had been sprayed by a skunk, and that they would not be in. But the only problem
was that another employee saw them both exiting a bar less than two hours
later.
a call from one of my "managers" at 2:00 AM one night informing me he would not be in for his shift at 9:00 AM the
next morning "because he was in the hospital in a
coma."
in and one night he decided to skip. We do have bad weather in Maine but he called up to say that he could get to
work because there was a tree a crossed the road. There sure was. Still standing a crossed the road but not in the
road.
of the death of a family member. To get over the shock I went to this bar downtown, and had a little to much to
drink. I took a taxi at the end of the evening, feeling quiet intoxicated, with an upset stomach. I told the taxi
driver that I had gas pains and he brought me to the greyhound station and put me on the bus to Gasbai. I am a
little low on cash so I'm not sure when I will be
in.
morning because, a man drove his car into my living
room.
can't come in today because I left my boots at work. My boss had a great laugh that
day!!
work I stepped on something. Thinking it was my kitten I tried to immediately back up. Unknowingly my kitty had been
playing in a bag of potatoes & I happened to be there to step on one. When I tried to get my foot off (my kitty) I
slipped & fell down twisting my ankly & called work from the hospital. "I can't work today because I slipped on a
potato & sprained my ankle." Stupid story, but true. Was on crutches for 2
weeks.
I have to take my dog to the vet.
My cat fell
asleep on my keys and I didn't want to wake her up.
I have a class to go to.
I have a job interview.
My
other boss needs me and the pay is better there anyway.
I have to bury my pet canary that just died.
The
plumber was
late.
to go to the hospital to have it removed." While waiting at the hospital a woman came in with a roach in her ear.
After removing the bug she asked the Doctor for an excuse for her boss at work. After a few questions we found out
she had put the roach in her ear and used a Q-Tip to push it in to get out of work. This is a true
story!
went to the closet and no other ties matched. So I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. So, I ran
home because my car broke down, and all my clothes were at the dry cleaner. I ran back to the mall (I was very
pooped out), and I found an outfit and bought it. I brought it home and it didn't fit. Realizing that it wouldn't
be smart to go to work naked, I stayed
home.
in cause I slammed my balls in the dresser
drawer."
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]314. I don't know if I'll be able to make it in today. The hamster is loose in
the house somewhere and if I don't find it and put it back in it's cage before I leave, the cat will get it and
the kids will be
broken-hearted.
[/FONT][IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IM
G]315. I wont be in work today because yesterday I threw out my knee and took
my friend's medication for the pain. I had an allergic reaction to it and my entire body is broken out in hives,
itches all over and my ears have swollen shut. So if you need me, I can be reached on my cellular because the volume
is much
louder.
worked with him and it was a big laugh. So all the employees after that used that excuse anytime they were
late.
pig that we've got that had cerebral palsy, died this morning and we had to bury it and have a funeral for the
kids." We all still laugh about that six years
later.
the way back across the border I realized I had left my driver's license at home. The border patrol would not let
me back into New York, so my fiancé had to leave me at a hotel while he drove the 3 hours back to our house and
another 3 hours back to pick me up at the hotel. (True Story!! ) I was supposed to be at work on Sunday, called the
boss and he believed
me.
coping with the run off from high ground; the water level is too high for me to drive or walk through to make it to
work.
whore house than he thought it
would.
floor and they broke in half. (actually happened to
me)
wash. During the night the door lock's froze, so Ill be unable to make it to work
today.
didn't open.
I called in to tell them I could not make it in, they offered to come and pick me up and bring me into work, and I
could get my car later! I ended up quitting that
job!
preparing for work, and when I went to let her in, she had shredded the garbage all over our lawn, and in our
neighborhood, you cannot leave that or you are fined. Imagine the laughter I faced from my coworkers when I made it
to work that
day!
the door on his way to work, and she had taken off so I had to find her to bring her to the vet! (She was
fine!)
late at night and one on the days I did not have school. Needless to say I was VERY tired, and one morning when I
was supposed to work, I overslept. For some reason, though, I knew that I should have been at work because when the
boss called, I could not figure out why, you see, I had dreamed that I had called her and told her I was sick! She
laughed, and I got a stern lecture, but I was not fired. TRUE
STORY!!
sickness. Maybe it will last the rest of the
week!!"
cannot leave home without
it.
car had been in the shop for a few days and I had been using my friends brand new car. I called and said that I had
been on the way to take that friend to his job but on the way I got in an accident and ran into a ditch. Not only
that, my friend was also carrying a vial of LSD and it spilled on us when we were in the accident I was now feeling
funny and my friend was tripping so neither one of us could go to work. My manager believed this cuz I was supposed
to give him some when I got to
work!!
and now I can't take a shower cause the water is all dirty. This one is actually true, my neighbor and I both work
at the same job, we both called off that day! It helps if the fire is on the news
though...lol
FONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]332. I'm sorry I came to work late. I would have been on time, but I picked
up a hitch-hiker on the way and he didn't want to be dropped off in the middle of the city (Richmond, VA), so I had
to drive way out of my way to leave him at a truck stop. [The supervisor cracked up and asked me if I was SURE I
wanted that excuse to go on the record -- but it was
true!!]
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wasn't used to that part of the city and I got totally lost trying to come back from the Taco Bell when I had to
detour around some St. Patrick's Day parade. When asked why I didn't consult a map, I had to admit that mine had
holes on all the creases, which blotted out the street where my job was located. Well, jeez, things like this
wouldn't happen if they didn't make me work
holidays.......
[IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IM
G]334. I won't be coming into work today, there is a cat in my drive way and
I can't get the car out of the
garage.
children.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]336. I won't be in today, I have a flat tire. (it was the 5th flat that
month)
[/FONT]
blow dry my
hair.
opened.
me: "Hello 'boss', I have to take a sick day today, a horse stepped on my foot last night; its numb, is as big as
a balloon, I can't get ANY shoes on, and I have to go get an x-ray to see if its broken!" (I've never lived this
one
down)
Friday.
waiting until
Monday.
exceptional leader, but like the bottle. He used to call in and tell me that he had had a tooth removed and would
not be in the following day. four years later he sobered up. As his six months of came he evidently began to feel
some guilt for all of the dental visits. He came to my office and apologized, and explained that he was an
alcoholic. I responded with: I was glad to hear that he was an alcoholic, because I had never heard of anyone with
71 teeth. (TRUE
STORY)
and said, "I accidentally drank a six pack, and don't want to drive to work" Of course, I let her take the day off.
I would have felt guilty to be part of yet ANOTHER
accident.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]344. I am sorry I can't come to work anymore. My psychic told me this job
sucks.
[/FONT]
to see if we were busy. While I was on the phone with him he said "Whoa did you hear that?" I said what. He said,
"Lightning just came through the phone and knocked me across the living room into a pile of beer bottles! I guess I
won't be in today." This was on a sunny day and he had no burn marks on his ear and the phone kept
working.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]346. When I used to do shift work I was constantly late. So my boss was fed up and
said if you are ever late again just don't bother turning up for work. (that was an idol threat) The next day was a
Friday and I was at a party the night before and I ended up sleeping in. So I didn't ring or didn't even bother
turning up for work. My next roster day was a Sunday and I didn't show up then either. Sunday afternoon I got a
phone call from my boss asking me where I was and I told him that I thought I was fired. To the amusement of my
workmates I started back on Monday morning with no problems and a nice long weekend behind me.
:-)
[/FONT]
finger and when I bent down to get a Band-Aid out of the cabinet I wrenched my back, fell twisted my ankle and
busted my
lip.
on a Sunday night, He didn't show up until Tuesday saying he was at the airport getting ready to leave Saturday
night and his plane got a flat. Also a few months ago after talking all week about trying to find a way to bring a
TV into work to watch the super bowl. No Call No Show on the night of the super bowl that it had snowed so bad he
couldn't make it to work. Even though he had a 4X4 and I made it to work twice as far away with a 84 Trans
Am.
it!!!!!!
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]350. I ran into a cactus and had to go under extensive surgery to remove all the
thorns so I couldn't make it
in.
[/FONT]
work.
work.
again!
cramps.
didn't show up for work and wouldn't answer the phone. The next day the boss asked him why he didn't come in or
call into work? Albert's reply...."My eyes wouldn't open." True story. The boss had never heard that excuse and
laughed so hard that he didn't reprimand
him.
sneezed with my eye's open trying to watch the car in front. Instead, I could see the apple crumble & custard on my
shirt I had last night, after tea. Got rushed to Hospital, where they placed my eyes back into their sockets, then
sent me home in a Taxi wearing patches. I will be off for 4 weeks at least, my mum will send in the sick note when
I'm able to see
her.
list of 130 reason he has used. Some of them are:
Ants in his house.
I am having my house painted by members
of my church and I have to watch the paint dry.
I just bought a new bed and have to try it out.
Kid had a bomb
at school.
Kid had a bodily discharge.
Not that kind of time off.
Someone coughed on him and made him
sick.
Taking his mother-in-law on a picnic.
Had a bill to
pay.
year he used a week up because his foot had a rash and he couldn't wear
socks.
She called in on her second day and said that she wouldn't be able to work here due to the seating arrangements.
(We work in cubicles). Thinking that there was more to the story than this, we asked our boss later that afternoon
after she had actually spoken with this person. She really couldn't handle the cubicle, even when she was offered a
different one. Trouble is, she was given a tour of the office prior to accepting the job !(TRUE
STORY!!)
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]361. This really happened to me. On the way to work, a drive of 40 miles, the
front driver side wheel came off my truck. Even though I was doing 70 m.p.h. I was able to maintain control. I
managed to get side of the road. A small flat spot was rubbed into the rotor. I could not find my wheel and my spare
was flat. I hitched a ride to the nearest town, couldn't find # to call in to work. no garages were open and I was
worried about my tools and CD's left in the truck. Walking the several miles back on the opposite side of the four
lane interstate I found my wheel. Two of the lugs were still in the hubcap. I jacked up the truck, used a file to
smooth the rough edges off the rotor, stole one lug from each of the other wheels, and went on into work three hours
late. I don't think my boss believed
me.
[/FONT]
can't see. I need them in order to find
them!'
holiday.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]364. True story: "I can't get my car out of the parking area because I think one
of my neighbors put glue in the lock on our gate and it won't open." I used to live in a 4-plex building where only
half the tenants were allowed to park in a gated, locked area. I was among the lucky ones. One morning I came out to
go to work and found the padlock on the gate had been sabotaged by being filled with some sort of glue, which I
believe was done by a neighbor, jealous because he couldn't park in there too. It took over an hour to get the gate
open, even an electric hacksaw wouldn't cut through the lock and we ended up having to cut part of the metal
supporting the holes the lock went through to open the gate. That lock is probably still hanging there today! My
boss bought the story and even
empathized.
[/FONT]
ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]365. True story but I'm sorry I asked: one of my co-workers told me she was
late because "My car is in the shop and my boyfriend was taking me to work this morning. He was sick and we stopped
at a McDonalds. I had to wait there for an hour while he was sick in the
bathroom!"
[/FONT]
NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]366. Diarrhea, no questions asked, never
fails!
[/FONT]
pee.
work the next morning, at around 2:00am I woke up [sleepwalking and naked as usual] and drank a whole gallon of
orange juice and to my dismay I could not urinate, I tried everything mediation, shower, running water and even some
other highly unusual methods which should remain nameless and I stayed up near the toilet until 5:47am, the sun was
up and I had to be in at work by 9:00am, I called up and gave them no reason, but the next day I explained myself
fully and this is the reason why I am I writing this to you, my friend Nicole thought it would be a worthy excuse
for your
site!
it because I thought it was a cool excuse: "Sorry, we put the clocks forward instead of back last night, and I woke
up two hours
late."
back
together.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]371. I left work during lunch and decided to take the rest of the day off. I
called in at the end of the day to say that I had been arrested, and I'll be in
tomorrow.
[/FONT]
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]372. I'm running three hours late because I woke up watching the west coast feed
of NBC... I thought I woke up extra early!
[/FONT]
out!
tree.
stay home and fix it
somehow.
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]377. I was absent yesterday because I was passing a kidney stone, and I didn't
give a squat about calling in to work. (great pain, pee was purple {yellow and red make purple}, took some muscle
relaxants...)
[/FONT]
378. I ate a bag of those fake-fat potato chips, and now something is oozing
from my butt.
away.
mono.
come to work today because I think I am pregnant and I have to wait until my boyfriend gets off work so we will have
money to go get a pregnancy test. And one that my mom used when she got married for the third time...Sorry, I am
going to have to quit working for a while, I am going to Mexico to marry my boyfriend and we aren't going to be
back until after we finish building our house...Loves ya,
Rainey70
=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]382. We had a contractor working for us once who lived quite a distance away (for
the UK!) and was usually late in because of traffic problems. However, one day he phoned in at about 11:00 AM to
tell us that he would not be in at all because his only pair of trousers were in the washing machine and it would
not
open!
[/FONT]
asleep.
down from Baltimore yesterday, and my mom and sister got into a huge argument, my sister decided she's going back
to live with my Uncle, and they are leaving today. I have to follow behind them in my car with the rest of her
things. Since it's such a long drive, I am just going to stay the night to avoid the risk of an
accident.
T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]385. When I was eighteen (I'm 43 now and don't drink anymore), I had to work
the graveyard shift. I was at my favorite night club and half smashed. I called my job, from the club, loud music
and all, and told my boss I wouldn't be in that night because I was sick. Believe it or not, I didn't get
fired.
[/FONT]
stink is starting to offend even me so I won't make you all repulsed...I'll stay at home
today.
early!
Carolina. I lived about 17 miles from the store I worked at and I had several cats as pets. Well, I was running real
close, if I drove really fast I could've made it there on time. Well, I got about a half mile from the store when I
heard a howl coming from the back of my mustang. I pulled over and looked and I'll be damned, the stupid cat had
fallen asleep in the hatchback of my car (in the sun) So I had to drive all the way back home to bring the cat back
to the house. I was almost 2 hours late, because I was supposed to be to work for 4:30 and now I hit rush hour
traffic and it took me an hour to fight traffic to the office. My boss just looked at me and shook his
head.
there), and I was at work when my boyfriend called me and proposed to me. I said yes, of course, and he asked me to
elope with him the next day. I turned around, looked at my boss and said," I won't be coming in to work tomorrow,
or the rest of the week, as I will be getting married and going on my honeymoon" I actually had to bring him the
marriage certificate after the wedding before he would let me have the weekend off without being fired!!!!
LOL.
anyone
else.
late?' Have you ever had dog shit between your toes at 5 am in the morning?
windscreen.
ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]393. I worked at a treat store, popcorn and other treats, and I had a horrible
sore throat. I called off work and my boyfriend asked me to go to the beach. We did and who do I see but the manager
of the store....oops....I really was sick! I just wanted to kick back at the beach. (true
story)
[/FONT]
groggy (true story)...I got teased about that but it was
true.
hospital. My husband's daughter was having a bad diabetic reaction. This really did happen, but I've used it more
than once...it works great...no questions
asked)
pay our car insurance. Our lender that we bought the vehicle from got wind of it and took our van until we got
coverage. I had to call off work and didn't want to face the embarrassment so I said my husband's daughter is in
the hospital and we've got to
run.
flying in from Texas. His flight was late and it was very very late by the time it came in. I was supposed to work
the next afternoon and we were all exhausted and we were about 3.5 hours from home. I called in to say our van's
computer "brain" went out and we have to wait to have it repaired. It worked like a charm, no questions asked. This
one is excellent if you're nowhere near home, just make sure you own a newer vehicle that has computer
components!
ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]398. My husband had to go to court and it was a rough time. His ex was there and
it was a trying ordeal. Instead of busting my ass and running into work I said my husband fell down the stairs and I
had to take him to the doctor. He already has a broken hip he's recovering from so it worked like a charm, no
questions
asked.
[/FONT]
and the window was smashed out and my front wheels were GONE! Not just tires but the whole wheels were gone and my
cheap stereo was ripped out of the dash. I had to call into work and tell them what happened. (true story) The cops
came and did a report and said that I should move, also true, I
did!
having his annual erection and I don't want to miss it.....lol!
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