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  1. #1
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    Cool Trying to recover a former lover - Please help

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    Hi everybody,and many apologies for the length of my msg. I have been a lurker in

    this forum for several years; I use basically sandalwood TE and NPA.

    I (like others in

    this forum) like to OD on -none, and I may wear (on social and “alcoholic” occasions) about 15 sprays of TE or the

    equivalent of NPA (well covered with cologne - virtually all women >30 yo compliment me for my smell). I get my fair

    share of hits, few of which spectacular, many subtle, and no special adverse reactions (unless, perhaps, the one I

    will be describing soon).

    I am what I would define a fake alpha male: mediterranean,

    40 yo, highly recognized intellectual job, well read and traveled, 5’ 11’’, 10% body fat, muscles, tan, a lot of

    open air activity, good tango dancer, lone wolf syndrome, sarcastic humor; however; I am not especially good looking

    in terms of face (heavily masculine, but with somehow gross features), I am shy (but when you are 40 you learn how

    to hide it very well), and I just cannot effectively approach a woman if she interests me much or if I find her

    exceedingly beautiful.

    I have been faithful to my gf for years (she is much younger

    than me, BTW), but, as my relationship was falling apart, I met this gorgeous, spectacular, bright 30 yo

    psychiatrist, with whom I fell in love. She quite bluntly informed me that I would not have been her choice for a

    one night stand (i.e., she does not like me much physically, as she has a sort of masculine character - conflicting

    with mine BTW - and likes more ephebic, somehow feminine men), but she fell in love nevertheless, and regarded me as

    a possible companion only for a long term relationship. We broke up quite soon (2 months), owing to the very long

    time I had taken to close my previous relationship (pointless to say, I feel guilty).

    Now she says that she absolutely wants to keep friendship, (without benefits, I dare say), but I am uncertain

    whether to ditch the whole of her altogether.

    When we talk over the phone, everything

    is OK, but when we meet (even if I keep, given the situation, a very low profile) she becomes invariably bitchy,

    aggressive, does not talk, when we dance (she inviting me) she behaves like a piece of wood, and all this

    irrespective of her period (I sampled this several times). She herself made a statement noting that “on the phone it

    is better”.

    I am starting believing that a -none OD was OK before, as she regarded me

    as a mate, but not now, as she wants just a friend. I, however, would like to recover the lover.


    And now my question: should use, to try and recover her as a mate (in addition to any

    other skills I am capable of using, and certainly waiting quite some time), an absurdly outlandish –none OD (say 25

    drops of NPA), wait for her ovulation (which I have some indirect way to assess) and give her a half-an-hour ride to

    work (so that pheros spread in the car for some time), or should I resort to minimal doses of –none, just not to

    lose my signature (absolute -nol has never worked for me) with SOE or WAGG? Should I bathe in -none + Liquid Trust?


    Anybody tried, with the help of –mones, to recover a lover with extremely feminine

    body but masculine attitude, who likes you more for your personality/culture than for your body?




    Thanks for your feedback
    Last edited by Hamlet; 05-24-2006 at 01:40 AM.

  2. #2
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    as she has a sort of

    masculine character - conflicting with mine BTW - and likes more ephebic, somehow feminine men), but she fell in

    love nevertheless, and regarded me as a possible companion only for a long term relationship.
    I'm the

    senstive artist type, slender build, soft spoken and, yes, women of masculine character--tomboy types--are often

    attracted to me. So I sort of understand the weird chemsitry-persona thing. Funny, I'm actually extremely agressive

    and cutthroat beneath the surface so when they get to know me well things tend to crap out.

    If you're

    looking for a long term relationship, creating a "fake" 'mone signature to win her back is a bad idea. You'll

    probably end up in the same situation when you get tired of donning the chem mask every day. However if you merely

    want a few rolls in the hay or a friends with benefits deal maybe a little tenderizer is in order.

    Have you

    tried hanging with her sans TE or NPA? Nove heavy products are edgy and make you seem anything but senstive and

    tender. I'd give it a go first. She might like you better natural. SOE is mostly 'nol with a little 'rone kick

    and may be the ticket. I'd try that before WAGG. But definitely lay off the TE/NPA for a while.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  3. #3
    Journeyman gklite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hamlet
    I get my fair share of hits, few of which spectacular, many subtle, and no special adverse

    reactions
    Hmalet
    15 sprays of TE? what were the application points?
    can u recall

    the hits in brief, please?

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    Default Reply to Gegogi and Klite

    Thanks

    for your reply, Gegogi
    >Gegogi wrote: Funny, I'm actually extremely agressive and cutthroat beneath the surface so

    when they get to know me well things tend to crap out.

    Actually, I am soft spoken outside, very aggressive in

    the middle layer and quite shy inside. My trouble is that I have to project a leading persona at work in an

    intellectual environment, where you must word instructions like "My suggestion would be", but they must be perceived

    as orders. Somebody told me that I drip kindness from every claw....
    This confuses me (and, I suppose, others)

    when I am not at work, especially with women who know (or have heard of) my outside persona...

    >Gegogi wrote: If

    you're looking for a long term relationship, creating a "fake" 'mone signature to win her back is a bad idea.


    Have you tried hanging with her sans TE or NPA?

    I agree entirely. No, I wear mones all year around. I may

    try, but look - I try to always compensate -none with good manners and "understanding
    involvement", whatever it

    may mean.

    I may try with no -mones at all, but I suspect that I need various days and various cycles of laundry

    to get rid of all of them.
    If this does not work, I will try softening, according to your suggestions (Like half a

    spray of TE and quite some SOE).
    Otherwise, well.... this planet is full of women
    Thanks, Gegogi.
    ___________



    As far as GKlite's questions are involved:
    Heavily social occasions (Mainly dancing):
    immediately before

    leaving home, few sprays of cologne on my chest, let dry and cover with 3 to five sprays of sandalwood TE; 1 spray

    of TE per armpit; 1 on pubic hair; a couple on the right side of my neck; I immediately wear a shirt, so that pheros

    are tranferred. I spray a little amount of TE on my hand and rub the line of my jaws, and then rub hands together

    During the evening, about an hour to two hours later, further 3 to 6 sprays of 50% TE 50% cologne, chest and right

    side of the neck, As an alternative, straight cologne and, say, 5 to 8 drops of NPA,
    Work: same amount of cologne

    and three to five sprays of sandalwood TE, only to chest.
    Any other occasion (like going shopping): a couple sprays

    to chest with some cologne.
    Hits range from DITHL, to young ladies heavily trembling in my arms when dancing, to

    receiving a lot of invitations to dance in a situation in which normally only men ask, to female or male waiters

    directly addressing me to take an order in a situation in which I am the youngest and the only one without a tie at

    a table, to clerks who address me to "speed me up" when I am not the first in the line, to some pinches on my

    bottom, to old friends telling me point-blank "it is a pity your are engaged and faithful", to (rare) unexpected

    deep kisses when dancing or expressed will to give me one... No sudden bedding, though. For that, some talk and

    extra activity is always required, obviously.

    I must say, however, that several times in the year (especially in

    hot and damp periods like late spring - i.e., now), I become absolutely transparent, regardless of any gross OD.

    Nobody seems to see me or accept interaction. I do not know why it happens, but I have learned that it lasts few to

    15 days, and then I become visible again.
    Last edited by Hamlet; 05-24-2006 at 05:25 AM.

  5. #5
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    Default Hamlet.....

    It sounds like you

    might be the envy of a lot of guys on this site. You have an interesting/professional employment and with mones you

    get a lot of hits, some very blatant, but you don't seem to be able to capitilize on these hits. It would indicate

    to me that you need to learn how to make the adjustment from getting the hits to getting into bed. I'm sure others

    on here can further help in that regard, I don't know how to tell you how to go about it, it's just come naturally

    to me but I wish I had more hits like you do to take advantage of.

    Your problem has been addressed on this

    site more than a few times, the "help me get my girlfriend back problem". I'll offer the same solution that I've

    always offered, and, that is to find another woman who looks better than the one you want, go on a date with her and

    make sure the woman you really want knows about it and sees you with her!!! This tactic works especially well with

    the personality you described of your ex-girlfriend. You may not realize it but she already considers you in some

    respect as "her property" and that she feels that she can dictate to you. You have to let her know that you aren't

    "her property" but your own person capable of finding and romancing other even better looking women. Mones are very

    useful but think back to the day when commercially available mones were not in existence, what would you have done

    then? I would take Gegogi's suggestion and not use mones if you want her as a wife or long-term lover while you

    are wooing her. However, it you are going to use mones, I would balance the none with the nol. Also, given that

    you have known her a while now and if you do go out with her again, I would aggressively "go for her". Make it

    clear you want her sexually and now!!!

    And, then, if you do get her into your bed, it would be a good time

    to use something like AE/M and SOS spread over your chest, neck, and pubic areas.

    There isn't really any

    such thing as "being friends" with a woman. You are either screwing her or not. Guy friends should be there for

    you when you need them and you should be there for them when they need you. Girl friends should be either potential

    mates or "fuck buddies" but never friends. Consider this, how long do you think she'd be your friend if she knew

    you were intimate with another woman, about 10 seconds is all. Certainly this thought of mine is open to criticism

    and that's fine, it's just the way I personally feel.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    It sounds like

    you might be the envy of a lot of guys on this site. You have an interesting/professional employment and with mones

    you get a lot of hits, some very blatant, but you don't seem to be able to capitilize on these hits. It would

    indicate to me that you need to learn how to make the adjustment from getting the hits to getting into bed. I'm

    sure others on here can further help in that regard, I don't know how to tell you how to go about it, it's just

    come naturally to me but I wish I had more hits like you do to take advantage of.
    I can usually get to a

    woman (except the top 10%). Up to few months ago, however, I was seriously engaged, and social/sexual hits were only

    a nice ego boost. I will try capitalizing from now.
    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    Your problem has been addressed on this site

    more than a few times, the "help me get my girlfriend back problem". I'll offer the same solution that I've always

    offered, and, that is to find another woman who looks better than the one you want, go on a date with her and make

    sure the woman you really want knows about it and sees you with her
    This piece of tactics (which I have

    often used in younger times) will not work easily: it is difficult to easily find somebody "better" than a 30 yo

    gorgeous psychiatrist, and, as she is receiving Freudian training, she should be able to detect the pattern.

    Moreover, I feel almost too old for this kind of games. I may resort more easily to "refuse" her at all for a while,

    and then I will (or may) suddenly jump back in the game following your suggestions (i.e., aggressively make a

    move).
    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    There isn't really any such thing as "being friends" with a woman.
    I will agree

    to the extent that you may not be friend to a woman you are dreaming a romance with (or whom you are dreaming to

    bed).

  7. #7
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    Default Hamlet,

    you are thinking about

    it too much, who cares if she's a psychiatrist or a professional boxer, she's still a woman deep down. It might

    be a good idea to "cool" things with her but still go out with other women and, with luck, she'll see that you

    aren't tied to her like a mommy. I don't think mones alone can solve this somewhat frequent dilemna, calls for an

    aggressive strategy if you really really want her back (not a lot of success stories on this topic). Good Luck and

    I hope it works out for you.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    you are thinking

    about it too much, who cares if she's a psychiatrist or a professional boxer, she's still a woman deep down.
    Her ability in interpreting behaviors (which is close to mind reading, and believe, I may be pretty

    devious at times) made me think that I should try a mainly chemical approach (so that she may feel a physical urge,

    which may not be interpreted in the light of psychobabble - sorry if any psychologist is reading).
    However, no

    mones is a chemical approach by itself. I will buy some new garments, so to avoid prolonged laundry, and will wash

    myself with bleach (well, almost...). Thanks.

  9. #9
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    Default Hamlet....

    washing clothes in a

    washing machine helps just a little. Dry cleaning will get rid of the mones in one try. And, if Tony Soprano can

    seduce a psychiatrist, so can you!!!
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  10. #10
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    There isn't really any

    such thing as "being friends" with a woman. You are either screwing her or not. Guy friends should be there for you

    when you need them and you should be there for them when they need you. Girl friends should be either potential

    mates or "fuck buddies" but never friends. Consider this, how long do you think she'd be your friend if she knew

    you were intimate with another woman, about 10 seconds is all. Certainly this thought of mine is open to criticism

    and that's fine, it's just the way I personally feel.
    I suspect your observation about the "property"

    is right on. In fact I've experienced a similar situation. It's extremely difficult to be friends with a former

    lover or someone you're sexually attracted to. However women are full fledged human beings and make for fine

    friends. Hmm, I have lots of female friends of every age and variety and I can't say I've suffered in the least.

    Culturing friendships with secretaries at work reaps all sorts of rewards in department funding and other scoops. In

    fact I prefer women over men.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    Default none

    "Culturing friendships with

    secretaries at work reaps all sorts of rewards in department funding and other scoops. In fact I prefer women over

    men."

    I would agree but these aren't "girlfriends" that you go out to eat with, hang out with, things of

    that nature. Those are strategic alliances meant to make your work lives more pleasant and productive, no?



    I've always had female acquaintances from work, etc.. But, they pay their own way when we're out and

    don't call me at home to talk about stuff at night.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  12. #12
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    Smile Sounds like a psychodynamic painfest to me...

    Where is all this neediness coming from ? She sounds like a weirdo anyway.... I mean, gawd....

    ephebic
    boytoys ?... is she a reincarnated 5th century Athenian pederast or what ? Buy her a big purple

    vibrator, a case of KY jelly, a bagfull of C cells, a fifth of Corvoisier XO.... and bail your ass the hell outa

    there before you drive yourself mad with meta-analyses of meta-relationships... eat some mushrooms and go

    skydiving... better 4 your mind than this torment.

  13. #13
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    I actually I do but whatever.

    People are people and I find no advantage in sorting them into artifical catagories. I even have dinner with and

    visit at home elderly women, well they're former music professors and now friends. I see where you're coming from

    as "Strategic alliances" is a really manly male concept! Alas, there's more to life than business and nookie. If

    you focus on areas of geniune human interest you don't see gender and you'll live a happier and more fulfilled

    life. And these types of friends are the ones that actually show up and help when you need them.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    Default Gegogi

    I'll agree . But. you

    have the unique perspective of being a single but older and mature male. Us attached guys don't really have

    girlfriends per se. Of course, I don't count the elderly lady next door who is my friend - it's not sexual and

    doesn't count!!!
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

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    There are a number of women I

    could only call friends. We might have something in our business lives in common or an outside interest and we might

    hang out together because we simply enjoy one another's company. Some of them are my wife's friends too, others

    not. It just depends. A number of then, depite being attractive, the thought of a sexual realtionship is just

    absurd, they are pals.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  16. #16
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    But. you have the unique

    perspective of being a single but older and mature male.
    I'm not mature. I'm vintage! Actually I've

    always been partial to female friends. It may have something to do with growing up with 4 sisters.

    Well, Hamlet

    you have a hard cookie to chew and I bid you luck. I got caught in a similar trap a couple times and couldn't save

    face or reconstruct the relationship. I dated a young pharmacology professor and got side lined into a deadend

    friendship. The more I tried, the more she eluded me and the more castrated I felt. Eventually I started dating a

    much more attractive Asian musician and my "friend" shit bricks she was so angry. I did savor that moment although

    it wasn't my intention to make her jealous.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    She sounds like a

    weirdo anyway.... I mean, gawd.... ephebic boytoys ?... is she a reincarnated 5th century Athenian pederast

    or what ? Buy her a big purple vibrator, a case of KY jelly, a bagfull of C cells, a fifth of Corvoisier XO.... and

    bail your ass the hell outa there before you drive yourself mad with meta-analyses of meta-relationships... eat some

    mushrooms and go skydiving... better 4 your mind than this torment.
    You may be right, however, ...



    an update: this evening I went dancing. She was there. I was wearing (I did not expect her to be there) 10 sprays

    of TE, 10 drops of NPA, half a SOE gel pack and some good cologne. I avoided her carefully, very kindly refused her

    invitation to dance, I was invited for a long series of dances (!!!) by a young traveling Argentinian tango

    instructor (believe me, I am a decent dancer, but without pheros it would count as a miracle), was asked by my

    former lover for a drive home, with her outspoken instruction that I should behave as a friend, but I was "so sorry"

    to say no, as the Argentinian lady asked me for a drive to her hotel (I know it was just to save the cost of a late

    night cab, but still, she did me a favor).
    My suggestion (I know that theoretically it should not work, but in my

    case it did): if you are (or pretend to be) kind, sensitive, leading, controlled and "sadly happy" (if you

    understand what I mean) as a mature male should be, well, grossly overdose on -none (if you find a way to avoid the

    stink).

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    Default whoa!!

    almost sounds too good to

    be true but, wow, that's terrific. My recommendation, don't call her. If she calls, act aloof. Great on the

    Argentinian - a miracle. That shit she said "give me a ride home but be a good boy" - perfect.
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

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    Yes, it was a phero miracle (I

    speak a tolerable Spanish and talked to her, but still, usually female Argentinian tango instructors behave as they

    were the last women left on the planet). If she calls, I won't even answer for a couple of days.

  20. #20
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    Default Stick a fork in it... it's done.

    The mistake is to hang on to the old, burned out, wrung out energy .... people need to learn how to get crisp

    with their emotions .... be definitive about who you are and don't shilly shallly around.... you're friends,

    fine you're friends, you're in lust, fine, in lust.... just get out of this damn pointless limbo of trying to

    manipulate outcomes ... have you ever asked yourself "what the hell was I thinking " ? a year after the

    fact .... well, put yourself in that place with this situation now and see how that works...

  21. #21
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    Default surf's up...

    "Where is all this

    neediness coming from ? She sounds like a weirdo anyway.... I mean, gawd.... ephebic boytoys ?... is she a

    reincarnated 5th century Athenian pederast or what ? Buy her a big purple vibrator, a case of KY jelly, a bagfull of

    C cells, a fifth of Corvoisier XO.... and bail your ass the hell outa there before you drive yourself mad with

    meta-analyses of meta-relationships... eat some mushrooms and go skydiving... better 4 your mind than this

    torment."

    Great Post!!! If I ever run into this kind of situation, not too likely though, I would do

    precisely what you have suggested excpeting the mushroom/skydiving!!
    There is a cure for electile dysfuntion!!!!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    I would do

    precisely what you have suggested excpeting the mushroom/skydiving!!
    ...although that does sound

    kinda fun - especially with the Flying Elvi.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    The mistake is to

    hang on to the old, burned out, wrung out energy .... people need to learn how to get crisp with their

    emotions
    .... be definitive about who you are and don't shilly shallly around.... you're friends, fine you're

    friends, you're in lust, fine, in lust.... just get out of this damn pointless limbo of trying to manipulate

    outcomes ... have you ever asked yourself "what the hell was I thinking " ? a year after the fact ....

    well, put yourself in that place with this situation now and see how that

    works...
    Masterfully-put.

    As one who is no stranger to "what the hell was I thinking", I

    couldn't agree more.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

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    Well Bro,

    I would just be

    myself... If that doesn't work nothing will. All this talk of "should I wear this" or "should I wear that while I

    attempt to give her a lift to work" is all irrelevant. Mones are a great way to help breaking the ice. They are also

    a great suppliment to include to your sexuality. they also help you get noticed more and can even add respect, or

    can work to have folks trust to you more. HOWEVER, they are not to be used as a blanket to disquise yourself or as

    some sort of love potion.

    I look at mones as a BEGGINING addition to meeting woman. It helps out alot. That

    is it.

    She will not think differently of you. She will not want you more by you using different mones. She

    has already formed an opinion of you and the rest is up to how cool you play it and how together her wants are and

    IF INFACT you are the one she wants to be with.

    Mones are NOT to be used in order to sway a failing

    relationship. It will NOT render the problems you two are having, or make her want you more. Just be you. If she

    doesn't want that Fuck her man. You know who you are. You know what went on between her and you. If it wasn't what

    she was looking for screw her. Believe me you do not NEED her either. Show her that if it comes right down to

    it.

    Happyman

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