Making him want to shack up :)

[Caitsidhe]

Hello,

I'm new to the forums and was wondering which pheromones are good for making a guy want to commit. Sex

isn't a problem at all-- he wants it nearly all the time from me. I just want him to hurry up and decide whether he

wants to tie the knot because I need to decide whether I should move or not.

I am 30 years old, thin,

auburn-haired, and very pretty. He is 10 years older than me and divorced.

[Gegogi]

Writing from a guy's

perspective, I doubt his level of committment will change much with any amount or type of pheromones. You'll

probably just make him hornier. Think of pheromones as an enhancement to the essential you. It's you amped up a

little bigger than life, but still you. You won't get someone to do something they didn't already want to do

although you might accelerate the process a little.

Sounds like he's already getting what he needs from you

and is perfectly happy as is. I suspect the only way to force the issue--if you must--is to let him know what he'll

lose should he not step up the the plate and play ball. I was divorced a couple years ago and it would take an act

of God to get me to that terrible place again...

[Caitsidhe]

If I made it seem

like I wanted to *make* him commit, that is not at all what I mean. I certainly do not want him to make such an

important decision if he is not inclined to do so on his own.

I do mean that I want to speed up the process a

little if I can. I have read that, for example, sex triggers a release of a hormone called oxytocin

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin) in men that is

essentially a "bonding" hormone. (Obviously, this can't always happen or there wouldn't be so many "love 'em and

leave 'em" situations).

So I wonder if there were any pheromones that might also cause such behavior or

release of oxytocin?

I was divorced a couple years ago and it would take an act of God to get me

to that terrible place again...

I can certainly understand that. But I am on the other end-- I left home

and moved here in a "stable" 4-year partnership with a man whom I trusted. We made decisions "as a couple," but I

was the one who just happened to lose out when it ended. To make a long story short, I have no recourse now that

the relationship is over I am left holding the loose ends. So I want something more solid before I decide to enjoin

my life to another person again.

The problem is, I really like this guy, but I need to decide soon whether to

take a job overseas or not.

[belgareth]

Tell him flat out what you are

thinking and why. Nothing beats honesty in a relationship. He may bolt or he may decide he's found a treasure or he

may become a sniveling wimp that you find revolting to be near. But no matter what, you will have something to go

on.

[tim929]

Yeah,honesty is a great place to

start.Talk about it with him and be very up front about it.Something that I have seen keep men from making any sort

of commitment...me included is having had thier hearts handed to them on a stick once a woman gets done using it as

a soccer ball.Women have very little respect for how fragile mens hearts can be.And if he has been wounded deeply

enough he may never realy get to a place where he trusts someone that much again.But the only way to approach the

subject with him in a way he will understand is to come right out and discuss it.

[gaf]

Tell him flat out

what you are thinking and why. Nothing beats honesty in a relationship. He may bolt or he may decide he's found a

treasure or he may become a sniveling wimp that you find revolting to be near. But no matter what, you will have

something to go on.

What he said...
I can't think of anything to add apart from if you feel that

strongly about him and want to be with him forever, why don't YOU ASK HIM to marry you?
Thats what my (now ex)

wife did!