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  1. #1
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    Exclamation shy men

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    will the pheromones help a

    shy person. you no get hits or does the pheromones make the man more confident in himself.

  2. #2
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Shy is a handicap but only if

    you allow it to be. As so many of the senoir members will tell you, pheomones are an aid and nothing more. You still

    have to get out there and try. You have to approach women and talk to them, otherwise you may as well not bother

    with mones.

    My advice to you is to start at the begining with you. Start doing things to help reduce your

    shyness, like approaching and talking to people on your own. There are a lot of good books out there that can help

    you. but don't bother with mones until you've had a chance to put the rest of the package together. Then mones can

    be a huge help.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    I think definitely pheromones

    can work as a confidence booster for the wearer. Say your confidence is a little low and you put on pheros and start

    getting hits, that will certainly inprove your confidence which in return will help you get more and more results as

    confidence improves. Hell I think even the placebo effect of putting something on that will huh "make you irrestible

    to women" can instantly raise your confidence.

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    Hi i would advice you to work on

    your inner game first. In the beginnin, i used to were pheros and although i got the flirting and smiles etc i

    still could not approach. I have around $400 worth of pheromones in my house at the moment but i am not using them

    as i want to work on my personality and charm first. After that i will be using them to increase my magnetism



    Read this free article i found on the net and practice what he says, after a month you will be much more confident

    and then you can start applying the mones

    Ps, i hope im aloud to post this hear



    How I FINALLY Eliminated Shyness & Nervousness &
    Gained Super

    Confidence


    Here's my story and what worked for me.


    Hi - My name is David Portney and for a large part of my life I was

    stricken with terrible shyness and nervousness - if you've got a minute, read my story because it will probably

    help you.


    If you're suffering from shyness and nervousness then you and I are kindred

    spirits because I know the pain you feel, and I know its holding you back from getting the most out of your

    life.


    Just like people who get cancer and survive will often help other cancer victims, I also want to

    help people who suffer from shyness and nervousness, just like I used to.
    And if someone as shy as I was can

    become super confident, then ANYONE can - so there's hope fo you too - here's my story:

    I grew

    up EXTREMELY shy: i
    n school I always sat in the back of the class so no

    one would notice me, I was so insecure I even wore jackets in the summertime, and
    I avoided ALL

    social situations.


    And boy, when it came to the opposite sex, I was as

    scared as a mouse at a rattlesnake convention.

    Can you relate to ANY of that?
    First I tried

    therapy. It seemed like the logical choice.

    I got some benefit from going to therapy - I

    understood my problem really well - but therapy didn't SOLVE my problem.


    Then I went to

    see a shrink who prescribed an anti-depressant but the side effects were worse than being shy, so I stopped taking

    them after a while.


    Then I tried to "fake it till I make it" - I'd go into social situations and

    pretend to be confident, but I knew inside I was just faking and I still felt shy and nervous.
    Frustrated, I

    turned to self help books and tapes, & I even went to seminars (I sat in the back). Most were not very helpful, and

    a few were excellent.

    Self help is what finally worked for me, and it worked so well that people who know me

    today just laugh in disbelief when I tell them I grew up painfully shy.

    It's great to finally be free of that

    crippling shyness and nervousness that held me back for most of my life.
    Here's what helped me:
    First, I had to

    accept that I was MAKING MYSELF shy and nervous. NOT to blame myself, but to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the situation I

    was in.

    The first thing you should do is realize that YOU ARE IN A POSITION OF POWER AND CONTROL when you take

    responsibility for being shy and nervous. THAT PUTS YOU IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT.
    You need to realize that even if

    you're not aware of it, you're DOING SOMETHING inside your head to make shyness and nervousness happen. I know

    that might not seem true - I was shy since nursery school and thought that THAT WAS JUST WHO I WAS.

    I finally

    realized that shyness and nervousness is NOT who I am, IT'S SOMETHING I DO. You are NOT shy, you DO shyness... A

    very important distinction to make.
    You DO shyness and nervousness by running movies in your head and talking to

    yourself - it's those movies and talking that "makes" you feel shy and nervous.

    The critical shift you need to

    make is knowing that your shyness and nervousness is NOT who you are, and it's NOT out of your control. YOU ARE IN

    CONTROL.
    But those movies and voices in your head have been playing for so long, you probably don't even notice

    them, you just know you feel shy and nervous.

    In other words, SHYNESS HAS BECOME A BAD HABIT.
    And because

    shyness and nervousness is in reality a bad habit, it needs to be TREATED like a bad habit.
    But, everyone knows

    how hard it can be to break a bad habit - just ask anyone who's ever tried to stop smoking.

    Breaking a bad

    habit requires 2 things: You MUST use a proven strategy to break the habit and you MUST have a positive replacement

    habit.
    If you don't use a proven strategy then you're just stumbling around trying "whatever" and hoping it'll

    work, and it doesn't, so you give up.
    And not having a new habit to replace the old habit pretty much guarantees

    failure because you'll slide back to your old, familiar ways of shyness and nervousness.

    The simple

    way to take ALL the effort out of breaking the shyness habit is: PUT MOMENTUM TO WORK SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK. To

    get momentum to work for you, all you have to do is start small.
    Using momentum makes breaking a bad habit easy

    because you "go with the flow" - you don't have to struggle or fight to get where you're going.
    Where most people

    go wrong is they try to do too much too soon - what if you went to the gym for the very first time and you went over

    to the heaviest weight and tried to lift it over your head... That would be foolish - and dangerous.

    Instead,

    what if you lift the lightest weight... Then the next day a slightly heavier weight... And the next day a slightly

    heavier weight... After 3 or 4 weeks, you'd be lifting heavy weights you never thought possible.
    Incremental

    success is EXACTLY how you learned to read, write, tie your shoes, and drive a car.

    Now you can read, write, tie

    your shoes and drive a car effortlessly and automatically, but when you first started it seemed hard, right?
    So you

    just have to start small and then do a little more and a little more each day for about 3 weeks and at that point it

    becomes automatic - momentum takes over and does all the work for you.

    You need to start small and continue

    adding a little more each day for 3 weeks because it takes about 3 weeks to break a habit and "install" a new

    replacement habit, it just does.
    But the most important thing of all is

    this: The #1 ingredient that guarantees your success is a burning desire to change.
    There is nothing on this Earth more powerful than pure desire.

    You've got to WANT TO CHANGE and

    you've got to want it really really really badly. Because if you want it bad enough, nothing can stop you.
    I was

    ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE to get rid of my shyness and nervousness because it was ruining my life.
    I was scared to

    death of meeting new people. I was scared to death of approaching women I wanted to meet. I was turning down social

    invitations and cowering at home. I was afraid to do all kinds of things because of shyness and nervousness.



    Now, I speak in public for a living, something I thought I would NEVER, EVER be able to do. As I said before, if

    someone who was as shy as I was can become confident, then ANYONE else can too.

    So, thanks for listening - er,

    reading - my story, I sincerely hope that this will help you because suffering from shyness and nervousness just

    sucks.

    Let me give you the summary of how you can get over shyness, and what you should do, step by step and I

    even wrote a booklet about it that you can have for free.
    First, realize that understanding your problem will NOT

    solve your problem.
    Next, accept responsibility (NOT blame) for your situation and realize you are in the

    driver's seat - that puts you in a position of power and control.
    Then recongize that you are NOT a shy nervous

    person, shyness and nervousness are processes that you actively DO in your head that creates those feelings.



    Next, understand that you've been playing movies and/or talking to yourself for years to create the shyness and

    nervousness, and after all these years it's turned into a bad habit that needs to be broken.
    And, know that all

    you need to do to break that bad habit is to use a proven strategy, and that you must decide on a new, positive

    replacement habit (I recommend your new habit be ferocious super confidence).

    Also, you MUST start small and

    build momentum each day for 3 weeks in order to break that shyness habit - just one small win followed by a slightly

    bigger win followed by another slightly bigger win - momentum means you don't have to struggle to break the habit,

    you just go with the flow.

    Finally, NONE OF THAT MATTERS unless you really really REALLY want to get rid of

    shyness and nervousness. Without strong desire, you'll just give up or won't even try. I was totally sick and

    tired of shyness and nervousness holding me back, so I decided to do something about it.
    What to do now? Just

    decide to take action on each of those steps one by one.

  5. #5
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Hey Slick. That's a good

    article and ha a lot of truth in it. There's no problem with posting it, provided you have the legal right to post

    it and you properly attribute where it came from. Take care of those two items and we'll all be happy.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Yes, great article. Myself I was

    terminally shy when I was younger. Pheromones do help you feel more frisky and that is good too, but the "inner

    game" is always more important. I could drone on an on about this, but for the moment I'll just throw out a word

    about a problem that I find separate and more obstinate than your normal garden-variety shyness. That is the ol'

    "lone wolf syndrom" or a term I coined a while back "Clint Eastwood Effect". You can be extremely good looking

    even... cool, manly, sexy etc etc, but if you send out this message that says "I vant to be aloooone", you are

    going to be very lonely on date night. In my own head, I felt like I really wanted to connect with someone, but

    when I got reliable feedback from women, I always heard that I looked sort of scary or at the very least like I

    wasn't having a very good time. Later when I was in Japan and single I was entertaining for a living together

    with an Australian guy who was even shyer than I was; much shyer in fact. He was almost comatose, but beautiful

    young women would somehow make their way up to him EVERY DAY! It was driving me nuts. Finally I figured it out; he

    was totally harmless looking even helpless looking!

    Anyway,.... my tips for the day:
    1. Cheer up, smile look

    like you are having a great day and are eager to share it with others!
    2. Like the article says, bit by bit take

    a few chances
    3. Take ballroom and/or swing dancing lessons

    If you do this stuff, it will totally change your

    life

    B
    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha


    Yoga in Eugene
    Fair Trade crafts from Peru

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    Bruce is 100% spot on about

    smiling, when i have been out clubbing in the past ive been told by a lot of girls i look miserable and cheer up, so

    always look like the life of the party, women will be attracted to that.

    Also if you are really shy you can

    start with baby steps like smiling at a number of women, then take it a step further and keeping eye contact (not

    staring) then after your comfortable with that say hi or something. This will build your confidence. If you can't

    do it with pretty girls start of with grannies and then work your way up.

    There was a programme called seduction

    school on the other day in the uk where three misfits one very tall and clumsy, one short guy and one really obese

    guy were taught by famous pick up artists to pick up women. When they started of they were really nervous it was

    funny but they kept on at it and after a week they were getting dates and numbers.

    Last piece of advice is to

    treat rejection as a learning experience and dont focus on your past failures as it will show up to women as they

    are very intuitive. just see them as feedback for you to improve your approach and if she badly rejects you just

    have the frame that there are plenty of girls out there that would love to meet a descent guy with sexual value

  8. #8
    Stranger marcuccio88's Avatar
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    Default all smiles

    1. Cheer up, smile

    look like you are having a great day and are eager to share it with others!
    2. Like the article says, bit by bit

    take a few chances
    3. Take ballroom and/or swing dancing lessons

    If you do this stuff, it will totally change

    your life

    B[/quote]


    Great advice!!! Nice thread. I have always been shy with women. Oddly enough, I am

    very extroverted, but not in a sexual way. I have no problem ensnaring people into my web of friends, I can talk to

    anyone - its the execution with women that has been my struggle. I am single now after being married for 7 yrs and

    I am trying to get back into the game.
    I am a good catch - I just think I put out the vibe "stay away" "not

    available" Then I think I put out too much of a "friendly" vibe.
    and perhaps I think about things way too

    much...
    time for action

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    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    A couple good points, Slick.

    One is not to just smile but to be happy. Women aren't stupid and can spot a fake half a mile away. Have fun in

    what you are doing; enjoy yourself! It shows and it attracts women...or people in general.

    The other is to stop

    worrying about what people think of you. I'm a world class geek in a lot of ways and am shaped like a fire hydrant.

    But I still go out there and have fun. And because I am not in the least concerned about what anybody thinks about

    me and am having a lot of fun in almost every circumstance, women are attracted to me. Some say I am a leader, I say

    I'm not but I'm not a follower either. I am going my own way and am having fun doing it.

    The last is that

    rejection is nothing at all. Who cares?...go play somewhere else if you don't like it here. You cannot be rejected

    if you refuse to buy into their world where you seek their approval. I can't tell you the number of times I've

    been approached simply because I refuse to play the game of approaching them. You'd be surprised how many truly

    lovely women hate to be laughed at or look at as if they are comical when they start their games.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    I dont think that stuff

    works Im always have fun with my friends. You see I shy about women not everyone. Im like you belgareth I dont

    appraoch women I feel that women should approach men as well. Ive had some girls approach me but Im not very good at

    talking. A lot of girls do things to me but I cant tell if it is flirting. If it is flirting and I dont do anything

    back I guess thats why they dont like me cause they think I dont like them.

  11. #11
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Perhaps I should explain. I

    don't expect to be approached. Instead, I treat women the same as anybody else. Have fun, laugh, joke and smile

    but include everybody around you and never make it seem like any particular woman is all that important to you. The

    ones that expect men to approach them you should always walk away from or turn away from. Never give anybody else

    control
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Grip, It sounds like your

    confidence needs a boost. Go somewhere where people are paid to be nice to you,resturants for example. If talking

    to women is the problem(don't know if im getting into hot water in the forum for this). Go to a hooters or

    Gentlemans' clubi"ie" a strip club, it will help wonders.These women make money being nice to the customers they

    serve, it's a great booster shot for confidence. I'm married with 2 small children and the self esteem has helped

    me with my life and every other aspect of my life, im willing to do anthing i used to think impossible, talk to new

    people ,especially beautiful women, try new things.Know im not saying goin were people are paid to be nice to you is

    a miracle cure, its a small step just like pheromones.

  13. #13
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    I find it a good practise to be

    equally friendly to everyone regardless of their utility to your life (ie: not just the "cool" people). In the

    world of dating, this sort of boils down to not just feeling like you want to talk to the babes only. With time you

    find it takes the edge off.
    To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

    - Buddha


    Yoga in Eugene
    Fair Trade crafts from Peru

  14. #14
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    Good advice Bruce.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    Bruce, you know I have mad

    love for you, but you need to update your picture. By now your baBY IS READY FOR COLLEGE!

    Sweet Thing

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