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  1. #1
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    Default How can you tell what women are out to be picked up or available?

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    I always frequent a coffee shop. Sometimes I will see a chic, alot of the times pretty

    good looking just there by herself. They usually are not there very long, say like 45 minutes it seems.
    I think,

    hmmm. Wow. Good looking, nobody around, are they here to be hit on or to meet a guy? It is hard to tell. Some sit

    out of the way in a corner in which it is kinda harder to say hi to or go over to. I saw one real nice looking

    women. About 26. She was all into this book. She sat with her back to the crowd. Not looking any other way or

    turning her head ever. I thought I may of seen a ring. I thought....ahhh figures. Then this dude comes in,

    introduces himself, like a friggin pro, plops a seat right in her face. He was so confident it was almost over

    bearing to her. But in three minutes he asked her to join him and his friends for a drink. She agreed (I got a

    closer look when she was leaving. It was just a gold charm ring=no wedding ring). He went out to tell his friends

    that were out side on the patio. Came back in in 4 or 5 minutes and asked her if she was ready. She sighed and said

    as she was leaving "this is crazy". I was woed. She gave no indication she wanted to be picked up. No suddle clues,

    she was so into her novel and sat with her back to the entire shop. I thought....naw, she is NOT here to meet

    someone. When he took her out of there in three friggin minutes I was like...hmmmm how do you know?

    I seen

    another good looking women there the next night that totally stayed to herself as well. In the corner. I thought.

    Hmmm maybe I should just go over to her like the dude did to that chic the other night. She left while I was still

    lookin for a clue of her availability and if she was open to conversation. Is there a 9 out of 10 chance that if

    they are there alone they are there to be picked up. Is there no way of knowing?

    I know the norm:you just

    gotta give it a shot and the "how will you know if you don't try". But I just want to know what are the odds? Is

    there a connection with a women being by herself at a coffee shop to looking to meet a dude or is it all in the

    situation? Is there any probability or do women just go to get away or to relax.

    What's the deal? Getting

    some insight (especially from a women) would be helpful. You see it is a small coffee shop. If I do go over and it

    doesn't go good I suppose I'd either have to go back to my seat and pretend it was nothing or something. Also some

    folks would see this who know me just by seeing me there. I'd look kinda silly if I did this often. Even though the

    more times you try the better your odds. So I kinda am not sure on how to go about it and I want to make it a good

    selection if I do choose to pull a move like the dude did the other night with that chic. It would help if I knew

    how much women generally go out to be picked up and where. How do you know? Is there any way to guage?Like the one

    chic...here was no body language signs or anything but the dude swooped her out of there?

    Any tips, input,

    or advice?

    Happyman
    Last edited by happyman; 03-04-2006 at 02:15 AM. Reason: I added something

  2. #2
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    Any tips, input, or

    advice?
    Happyman[/QUOTE]

    who dares wins....
    thats my advice, sitting on your ass thinking about it

    gets you nowhere.
    early 40's white male or or

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by gaf
    Any tips, input, or

    advice?
    Happyman
    who dares wins....
    thats my advice, sitting on your ass thinking about it

    gets you nowhere.:

    __________________________________________________ __________

    True That. But I

    don't know. None of my questions are really answered. I realize there may be no real answer. But is there any input

    of the probability of whether they are there to be picked up or not?

    If it was a bar I would have much less

    problem with this. This, is just a cozy, smaller place so it is a big step to do such being as everyone sees

    everyone's moves. I just want to bank on the right ones is all.

    I read all the body clues and that stuff.

    But from what I seen sometimes there is No clue whatsoever. Any help on the situation and if the probability is that

    they are there to be talked to by an approaching dude....or is it all simply like a guessing game or a game of

    random chance.

    Ian

  4. #4
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    You don't need us to answer

    your questions directly, in a way they are your excuse for not approaching.

    Who cares if she isn't available!

    If she is, that means you have zero chance of rejection, FACT! Just do what that other guy did, by waiting around

    and wondering you are only going to make yourself more apprehensive.
    CptKipling

    Information about pheromones: Pheromone Information Library

  5. #5
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    Who dares,wins! is exactly

    right.Women are fickle soemtimes and when you approach a woman on the street,in a coffee shop,in the grocery

    store,at a funeral or whatever,there is a chance that she is interested.Or maybe not.But if you sit on your hands

    and say and do nothing about it,then you will never know.The biggest issue is comming up with an approach that is

    subtle enough that you can test the waters without looking like a jackass but still let them know that you are

    interested in starting a conversation with them.

    In many cases,they are probably seeing someone anyway,but dont

    mind the extra attention.In other cases,they are just looking for some peace and quiet so they can read a book and

    relax without being disturbed.Just because a woman is seeing someone doesnt mean that there isnt a chance.Many women

    play the field.Rather heavily in alot of cases.I have dated many women who are seeing more than one guy or who have

    three or four guys lined up in the wings waiting for a chance at a date.Just go say hi and see what happens.
    "The wages of sin is death.But after taxes it's just sort of a tired feeling realy." -Ellen DeGeneres

  6. #6
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    I normally go into coffee shops

    to relax and listen to my iPod, read a book or surf the 'net, not to get picked up. I think most women are the

    same. In fact, I find it bothersome when people talk to me when I'm focused on something. Nevertheless, if a truly

    enticing woman appeared I wouldn't hesitate to avail myself of the opportunity and I think most women would feel

    the same about an enticing man. However, you should be sensitive and read her signals rather than barge in. Most

    guys are not enticing for most women. If she's shows interest, strike up a conversation. If she wants to rock out

    with her iPod the corner, let her be.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    I get what you folks are saying.

    I guess there is no real way of knowing. And that is a GREAT SAYING. One of the best I have heard and a GREAT

    guideline. "He who dares wins". I have heaqrd it before, but it isn't really used much and I forgot about that one.

    EXCELLENT. I am adding it to my list of favorite sayings. Now as far as probability goes....there is none? It is as

    random as the fish biting at a certain pond on 7:00 tuesday time next year? Or is there more to

    it?


    Happyman

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    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    It depends. I hang at a starbucks

    in downtown honolulu and most of the women are with their coworkers and are married or engaged. If you try hard you

    might get a fling. I don't bother. However most of the women in coffeeshops near UH Manoa are young and single (or

    looking to upgrade BFs) and more disposed to biting if you seem enticing. Just stay out of political and religious

    debates or you'll never get laid.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  9. #9
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    the worst thing that could happen

    is she'll say no & that aint too bad my advice would be to hold eye contact enough for her to look at you 3

    times but you MUST approach on the 3rd look! the 1st look = shes noticed you, 2nd look = she now knows why your

    looking (lol) & 3rd look = get over here


    Good luck
    its better to fart & stink a little than to bust your ass & become a cripple

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    Happyman,

    Sometimes the

    only way to guage if the person is interested is to strike up a conversation. I do agree with Gegogi that most

    people go to the coffeshop to relax, have a latte, read a novel, . . . anything except for getting picked up. With

    that said, it doesn't mean that they are not open to a nice chat. The overall goal is make them relax and be

    comfortable with you. There are body signals that you can send/read, but if their head is buried in a book you

    can't tell.

    As the people above me have mentioned, the problem here is that you have "approach" anxiety.

    You are thinking too far ahead (sex, date, etc) and it is giving you second, third, fourth . . . thoughts. Think in

    the present. Think in the here and now. Use your curiosity. From your table, what did you see in a short span of

    time (1-2 sec), that piqued your curiosity. You mentioned that she was reading a book. What is the title? Who is

    the author? What do you think of it so far? Do you know any other books that this author wrote? And so on . . . .

    So who is the best person to answer these questions?

    Go into this with the goal of satifying your

    curiosity. Pratice on as many strangers that you can. If she is not interested in anything extra, no problem, you

    got the answers you originally were looking for.

    -SwingerMD
    Last edited by SwingerMD; 03-04-2006 at 11:36 PM.
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

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    happyman.......like many

    posting on this thread, it's sometimes hard to tell as to exactly what in the h*ll is going on......who's to say

    that the scene you saw wasn't pre-arranged between the two parties (already well-acquainted with each other

    already); on the flip side, like the previous postings, sometimes one must assume the position of "opportunist",

    venture out and introduce one's self; there are men out there that has undergone so many rejections that they have

    simply become calloused to them, thus eventually leading to a total loss of inhibition due to the fact that they

    attempt more often, and become rather aggressive at it......

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    [QUOTE=SwingerMD]Happyman,

    Sometimes the only way to guage if the person is interested is to strike up a

    conversation. I do agree with Gegogi that most people go to the coffeshop to relax, have a latte, read a novel, . .

    . anything except for getting picked up. With that said, it doesn't mean that they are not open to a nice chat.

    The overall goal is make them relax and be comfortable with you. There are body signals that you can send/read, but

    if their head is buried in a book you can't tell.

    As the people above me have mentioned, the problem here is

    that you have "approach" anxiety. and it is giving you second, third, fourth . . . thoughts. Think in the

    present. Think in the here and now. Use your curiosity. From your table, what did you see in a short span of time

    (1-2 sec), that piqued your curiosity. You mentioned that she was reading a book. What is the title? Who is the

    author? What do you think of it so far? Do you know any other books that this author wrote? And so on . . . . So

    who is the best person to answer these questions?

    Go into this with the goal of satifying your curiosity.

    Pratice on as many strangers that you can. If she is not interested in anything extra, no problem, you got the

    answers you originally were looking

    for.
    __________________________________________________ ____________

    -"As the people above me have

    mentioned, the problem here is that you have "approach" anxiety. "

    ONLY IN NON-BAR, NIGHTCLUB PLACES. I can

    approach many women in a night club. I was always the one in the pack doing it and my friends would always

    say..."you got balls dude". It is not really the drinking. I have did it without drinking at all just fine. I feel

    so much more non-carish in bars and night clubs that I have just alwyas had that way there.

    Now in public

    places other than those besides like offices or something when we are both waiting for something and sitting there I

    am OK with that too. Pretty decent in those places.

    But at stores, malls, coffee shops, etc. etc. It has

    alwaus been hard for me. I do not know why. Almost to the point that I only may approach one girl out of every three

    or four visits. At a bar I would approach three or four girls a night and strike up a conversation with them and

    start talking.


    -"You are thinking too far ahead (sex, date, etc)"

    You are RIGHT! That is my

    problem. I never knew it till just now. I gotta take your advice and just go with the here and the now like you

    said. So just go with satisfying my curiousity at the moment huh? Don't think about any future things like dates,

    sex with her, anything just be "in the now" and check it out eh?

    *I mean, I do not really think of those

    things consciously. But they are in my mind as I check out a chic without even directly thinking of all that. More

    so the sex... Hey I am a dude....what do you want? lol

    But I do get it I think....are you saying to just be

    in the "here and now" and see what that brings? Are you saying just go with my suddle curiousities and play on them

    on things "in the now" and nothing future related with her huh?

    ***I appreciate all this good advice from you

    folks. Keep it coming.

    Happyman

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    Wink like the Tracy Chapman song... you need one good reason

    you need a good reason to be interested in who you approach, or you need to know within a few

    minutes IF you'll have a reason... women (and men too) fundamentally don't like being looked at like an object on

    the shelf... are you on the same wavelength or aren't you ? Two powerful things to be are A. curious about her

    interests, and B. respectful of her boundaries. NLP has some good "elicitation" techniques to get an idea of what

    her areas of interest are, you've got to use those techniques with genuine curiosity or you'll be a DORQUE... and

    summarily blown off as bogus.... sometimes a direct question is so refreshingly candid, like "what interests you

    ?"

  14. #14
    Phero Enthusiast phersurf's Avatar
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    Women are attracted to men with

    confidence. She knows that approaching a strange woman is a risky undertaking. 99 out of 100 times they will be

    friendly. The unfriendly ones aren't worth your time anyway, you've just diqualified one from the joy of your

    company.

    When I used to be afraid of the approach (I still am, but do it anyway), I would play out in my

    head the worst case senario of what could possibly happen. I was making up history before the event even

    happened!

    There's a very good reason for men to have approach anxiety. Back when humans lived in groups of

    50-150, everyone knew everyone else. If a male approached a female, if she turned him down, no other female would

    mate with him! He had no "social proof". His status in the group would plumit, and women will only be attracted to

    men of higher status then she. His genes would be weeded out with extreme prejeduce!

    He could try to leave

    the group and find another, which in those days was almost sure death, since humans survival is so dependant on

    group cooperation.

    In modern society, people run across thousands of people within days that they'll never

    see again. If you approach a woman and totally crash and burn, no one else around you will even know it happened, or

    care. No one is watching you! You'll never see the woman again (in most cases),and you can mark it up as

    practice.

    Yeah, don't we wish it was that easy! Unfortunately, 6,000 years of civilization (even less living

    in cities of millions) won't override 5 million years of evolution that easy. That approach anxiety you feel is

    still way too deeply ingrained on our DNA and still rears it's ugly head.

    Here's a great way to think about

    it. It means that you're a survivor and have survivor genes. Every one of you ancestors found a way to reproduce!

    There's a line going back 5 million years of your ancestors that were able to find a mate, you have those same

    genes!

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    its a numbers game , the more

    you try the better the chances, i talk to has many woman has i can and see which ones i would like to take things to

    another level .
    ________
    redhead girl Cam
    Last edited by chicago; 04-08-2011 at 03:31 PM.

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    "Who dares,wins!" is the motto of

    the SAS...British special forces.And it realy does cut through alot of the scocial nonsense that we create.In my

    younger years I would worry and wring my hands about approaching women.Should I talk to her? what should I say? what

    if she doesnt like me? What if....As I have aged I have discovered that none of that realy matters.Rejection realy

    isnt all that bad and most of the time,women will reject you in a polite manner anyway.No harm,no foul.But if you

    never say hi you will never know if she will like you or not.I guess what Im getting at is to say,get over it and

    take a chance.You never know what might happen and it could be the most exciting time of your life.

    On the flip

    side...you may find out that she carries pepper spray and a tazer
    "The wages of sin is death.But after taxes it's just sort of a tired feeling realy." -Ellen DeGeneres

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    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    My former GF gets hit on

    constantly and can be be rude, even insulting if the guy pushes it, especially if she is interrupted while studying

    or in conversation. Of course she's unusually attractive--really attractive and smart as a whip. She actually tries

    to dress badly, mess up her hair, look mean, no makeup, etc., but to no avail. She even wears a wedding ring but

    isn't married! The years of constant harassment has made her bitchy and suspicious around men. On the other hand,

    she prefers to intiate relationships and isn't shy.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gegogi
    My former GF gets

    hit on constantly and can be be rude, even insulting if the guy pushes it, especially if she is interrupted while

    studying or in conversation. Of course she's unusually attractive--really attractive and smart as a whip. She

    actually tries to dress badly, mess up her hair, look mean, no makeup, etc., but to no avail. She even wears a

    wedding ring but isn't married! The years of constant harassment has made her bitchy and suspicious around men. On

    the other hand, she prefers to intiate relationships and isn't shy.
    I had a friend/coworker that

    also worked in the police dept. of a nearby town that would wear a wedding to work all the time (got tired of

    getting hit on all the time). There are a huge variety of women out there. Some loved getting chased others luv to

    chase. You just have to be on your toes and be able learn how to quickly size-up the situation. With a women that

    gets hit on all the time, you really have to be creative.

    My problem is how to deal with women that appear to

    swoop outta nowhere and start hitting on me. I really gotta come up with better lines than, "Hamena, hamena, hamena

    . . . .". Or not get that "flabergasted jaw dropped on floor" look or (worse) automaticaly go into defensive mode.

    LOL

    -SwingerMD
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

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    My former GF gets hit on

    constantly and can be be rude, even insulting if the guy pushes it, especially if she is interrupted while studying

    or in conversation. Of course she's unusually attractive--really attractive and smart as a whip. She actually tries

    to dress badly, mess up her hair, look mean, no makeup, etc., but to no avail. She even wears a wedding ring but

    isn't married! The years of constant harassment has made her bitchy and suspicious around men. On the other hand,

    she prefers to intiate relationships and isn't

    shy.

    __________________________________________________ ___________

    Hey I do appreciate the response.

    With respect:

    Come on now. She is a women. They are THERE to be hit on. This is our whole basis for

    existence in the past few hundred years. If she doesn't want to be hit on....just tell her to not leave the house

    for crimony's sake. I can't stand the line of "I hate being hit on when I'm out in public so I do this or do that

    to deter this from happening so much'....ya-da ya-da ya-da. Come now, your ex should be happy dudes want to talk

    with her. She should also be thankful she is good looking. All this BS about guys bugging them.....come on. If she

    is in a public place, just say "sorry but I am busy" if she doesn't want to be bothered. Or she doesn't even have

    to do that just give a one ord reply to an introduction and throw the vibe like they are busy and don't want to be

    bothered. Guys pick up on it. I never seen a guy keep pressing a chic when she doesn't want to be bothered in a

    public place. ESPECIALLY if she say "sorry I'm busy". All this stuff about dudes continuously prying and prodding

    them. Come on now. I never seen that. I have seen a few dudes carry it over board (and this isn't right or good

    either by any means)but that was AFTER they had already been in conversation with the girls and the girl decided she

    wasn't interested after all. That is a not right. Once a chic says "NO" or, "Sorry I'm really I'm Busy", or

    especially "Let Me Be"..... in so many words....hell, you do it! I can't imagine most guys even getting it to that

    level in the first place where a girl would actually have to say such. If she does it would be rare.

    Bottum

    line here is>Women LOVE to be desired. They WANT attention more than any other creature on this planet. It is fixed

    in their genes with crazy glue and cement. So all this BS they give about guys hitting on them and how they are

    bugged by that......please.

    Anyway I do appreciate your response and look forward to more.

    Happyman

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    Exclamation Some guys are extemely crude AND immature

    It's the f*cked up one percent of anything that makes it hard for the decent 99%... having been with a

    few awesomely beautiful, ungodly sexual women in my life...one was an international grade of model, one was a

    superhooker that did a lot of trade with "squeaky clean ivy league corporate holier than thou" types of guys, one

    was a beautiful insane artist.... I've seen a certain element of the male population basically crap their pants on

    the spot and go friggin' nuts in their presence... women too, sometimes deranged with jealousy and competitive

    alpha femme urges they can't control...

    Sometimes I had to walk in front and act like a human

    shield/bodyguard to deflect these crazies who will not take a hint, will not take no for an answer. There is a good

    reason that celebs need a posse of trained bodyguards.

    What regular guys don't appreciate is that the

    exceptionally beautiful woman is rained on, day in and day out, with a torrent of propositions, deep hungry stares

    into the pupils of her eyes, as if she owes everybody her magical validation, and man, guys will then turn into

    angry rejected children if they don't get the response they feel the DESERVE.

    I learned my lesson, much

    prefer to have the company of pleasant but not too striking women with powerful sex drives and a sharp sense of

    humor... enough of this starstruck red carpet BS...

    This happens to guys too... if you hang out in the

    entertainment scene you get used to outrageously handsome, perfectly proportioned, men with genetic blessings that

    don't have to lift a finger and they get laid twice a night if they want... even they got sick of it, people

    wanting to be seen talking to them, not because they gave two shits who they were, it just looks good to be seen

    talking to a male model type, gay guys falling in love with them right and left even when they didn't have any gay

    in them they would want to act on, older women with money and some power who claimed they would "initiate them into

    the ways of the world"...

    All that beauty can be a heavy load as much as it can be a gift, have it and

    you'll see sides of people, people you think you know, that you never knew existed....

  21. #21
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    It's definitely a lot to deal

    with... everyone's ego can be made with these and by these women. Sometimes they just want to live in their own

    worlds and not deal with people's moments.

    On the other hand, some really attractive women even play off of

    it, and their ego can never get enough.

    Fortunately for those who aren't fond of the heavy load, it'll die

    down the older they get.
    "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
    --Benjamin Franklin

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    Cool Keep your eyes on the road...

    On the other hand, some really attractive women even play off of it, and their ego can never get enough.

    Sure, there's the flipside to the beauty complex... living in your own personal bubble of

    desirability... I've also seen my share of ridiculously manipulative beautiful people, men, women, and forms of

    life in between who have ordinary mortals bending over backwards to do them a favor...

    The important thing is

    to keep the *locus of control* firmly rooted in yourself... when you can be respectful, appreciative, and

    understanding of others WHILE holding to your *locus of control* then you can interact easily...

    Others will

    relate better to you if they have a gut sense that you can control your own behavior without resorting to extreme

    measures... I've hung with celebs in celeb joints, just relaxing and shooting the breeze, no pressure to be

    anything or say anything too too impressive (beautiful people need to kick off their shoes and be human like the

    rest of us...)... and frequently some character nobody recognizes will swoop down out of nowhere and join our

    conversation like he's well known to everybody there... just start rappin' away like a cousin you haven't seen in

    two years, and you're thinking to yourself, WTF ??? did I know this guy from somewhere ??? Is this some important

    producer or writer and I blanked out on him or is this a crazy that fell out of the woodwork ? So then you have then

    "eye converstion", you look over at your bud with that "who IS this prick, or should we play along and kiss his ass

    ???" look, and he looks back with the "beats me dude... you think we should hose this guy ?" look... then if

    nuttin' clicks after about 2 minutes of suss-out time, you fade... "oh, hey, I needa refill... hey there's

    Scarlett... um great talkin2ya...".... the you do the evaporation move... whoosh, gone....

  23. #23
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Default I'll take three loads to go, please.

    Wow - prime stuff, surfs_up and everyone else! This discussion is sucking me in like a Dyson DC07 (or

    its creator, come to think of it).

    However...um...

    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    that beauty can be a heavy load as

    much as it can be a gift
    Yeah, the grass is greener and all that, but...cry me a river. You know what

    I mean?

    Most things good come with a pricetag. And I dunno...taking into account all those open doors which

    are often closed to the rest of us, the baggage on the beauty express seems like a blowout bargain.

    At the

    end of the day, the *locus of control* is where it's at. Just don't let any of those frogs hit you in the

    face...

    Groovy thread.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  24. #24
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    I think everyone has a right to

    privacy and should be able to go about their daily tasks without constant harassment.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  25. #25
    Phero Enthusiast chicago's Avatar
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    guys must be a little cocky with

    woman. ( i said a little and dont be abusive). to create attraction. woman get turn off by wusses. they love cocky

    and confidence in a man. yesterday a attractive girl at dunkin donuts ask me what time is it. i said its time for

    you to buy a watch. she slap my arm and ended up talking to me 20 min, we exchange cell numbers, i had on about 6

    in" of soe on
    ________
    AMETUER XXX
    Last edited by chicago; 04-08-2011 at 03:31 PM.

  26. #26
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gegogi
    I think everyone has

    a right to privacy and should be able to go about their daily tasks without constant harassment.
    I

    agree!

    I didn't mean to imply that a heavier tax should be levied on the beautiful because of their

    beauty - that they deserve the extra burden of sycophants, gawkers, and creeps. I'm just saying it is what

    it is and take the bad with the good.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  27. #27
    Phero Enthusiast phersurf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chicago
    guys must be a

    little cocky with woman. ( i said a little and dont be abusive). to create attraction. woman get turn off by

    wusses. they love cocky and confidence in a man. yesterday a attractive girl at dunkin donuts ask me what time is

    it. i said its time for you to buy a watch. she slap my arm and ended up talking to me 20 min, we exchange cell

    numbers, i had on about 6 in" of soe on
    Absolutely correct!

    YOu can't bore a woman into

    feeling attraction for you.

    If you approach her with the stuff she hears from every other guy, she just puts

    you into the generic "boring guy" catagory in her brain.

    The human brain is created to seek out novel

    experiences and gets easily bored by the normal. If you apporach and tell her how beautiful her eyes are (just like

    every other guy that thought he was being unique) you've just created instant boredom.

    What Chicago did is

    so much different than 99% of the guys out there (especially if she was hot), that it tweaked her "this guy is going

    to be another boring guy" sensor and actually got her attraction mechanism going.

    Nice!

  28. #28
    Newbie Pretzel's Avatar
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    Come on now. She is a

    women. They are THERE to be hit on. This is our whole basis for existence in the past few hundred years. If she

    doesn't want to be hit on....just tell her to not leave the house for crimony's sake.
    Complete and

    utter BS!!!

    Guys pick up on it. I never seen a guy keep pressing a chic when she doesn't want to be

    bothered in a public place.
    Errr....again, wrong. It happens to women all the time.

    ESPECIALLY

    if she say "sorry I'm busy".
    Some guys just don't take a hint!!


    Bottum line here is>Women

    LOVE to be desired. They WANT attention more than any other creature on this planet. It is fixed in their genes with

    crazy glue and cement. So all this BS they give about guys hitting on them and how they are bugged by

    that......please.
    Actually, some of us do actually go to coffee shops TO DRINK COFFEE! If I was looking

    for a guy, that would be the last place I'd go to find one! I just want to chill, drink coffee without being

    harrassed, as other people have stated here. If I wanted to pick someone up in an overt way, I'd go to a pickup

    joint. Most women are the same.

    Misconceptions about women like this, that we are all prickteasers begging for

    attention really, don't do much to further gender relations. To the poorly informed male minority, who treat women

    as pawns in a game, and attribute all kinds of ulterior motives and manipulation to us....get over yourselves! If

    you learn to treat women as individuals, you may end up less bitter and twisted...and in a happy, fulfilling

    relationship one day...

  29. #29
    Phero Pharaoh
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    happyman,

    It would be

    interesting if you could recount the conversation the guy in the coffee shop had with the girl. It sounds like he

    tested the waters and proceeded with caution, but probably had a fair amount of practice at getting a girl to open

    up.

    I agree with Pretzel. The girls are not "out there" looking for the next available guy. But they are usually

    open to meeting new people, and after they meet you they'll subconsciously put you in some sort of category.



    When I had lunch today as I walked in the door of the restaurant I noticed a cute woman sitting at a table with a

    man. She had taken her shoes off and crossed one leg over her knee. She was "sexually open".

    We made eye contact

    and she almost immediately closed me out in several ways, one of which was to uncross her legs and cross other one

    over the first.

    When I sat down where I could observe them, she held her left hand up beside her hand,

    ring-flashing me (and she literally was wearing a ring -- I am sure the man she was with was her husband).

    Her

    companion was oblivious to all this, but she was instantly aware that I was checking her out even though I devoted

    most of my attention to other directions and was not looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

    Most guys just

    don't learn to pick up on the subtle cues of body language. A girl may go into a coffee shop totally uninterested

    in the rest of the world, but if she looks up and sees a cute guy, she might shift gears if she sees he has some

    potential.

    If he comes over and introduces himself like a gentleman, isn't obviously checking out all the other

    girls or hitting on them, etc., and makes her feel comfortable, he has a good chance of inducing her to join a

    conversation with him.

    She may nonetheless be sick, on a tight schedule, waiting to meet someone else, etc. All

    he can do is make the effort and respect whatever signals she gives off in response to his overtures.

  30. #30
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    You are RIGHT! That is my

    problem. I never knew it till just now. I gotta take your advice and just go with the here and the now like you

    said. So just go with satisfying my curiousity at the moment huh? Don't think about any future things like dates,

    sex with her, anything just be "in the now" and check it out eh?

    *I mean, I do not really think of those things

    consciously. But they are in my mind as I check out a chic without even directly thinking of all that. More so the

    sex... Hey I am a dude....what do you want? lol

    But I do get it I think....are you saying to just be in the "here

    and now" and see what that brings? Are you saying just go with my suddle curiousities and play on them on things "in

    the now" and nothing future related with her huh?
    It at depends on the situation. Situational awareness

    is the key. You'll act differently in a coffee shop than at the local club. Personally I like to keep the

    conversation friendly, amusing, and a tad teasing (if the other person seems open). Being helpful and a gentleman

    with just about anyone (think of it as practice in the very least). Opening doors/holding them open, helping

    others, . . . all w/o the thought of compensation in any form (yes I am an Eagle Scout). It may or may not score

    points with the person you're helping, but you never know who's watching .

    -SwingerMD
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

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