1.
Constipated People Don't Give A Sh!t.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink, Don't
Park. Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex,
Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your
Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. To All You
Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
10. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
11. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
12. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
13. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
14. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking
To Me.
15. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
16. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
17. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
18. Illiterate? Write For Help
19. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
20. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
21. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
22. If Sex Is
A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
23. If You Can Read This, Please Turn Me Over
24. Remember
Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
25. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt,
No Charge
26. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
27.
Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
28. Boldly Going Nowhere
29. Caution -
Driver Legally Blonde
30. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
31. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is lost?
32. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
33. Saw It
... Wanted It ... Had A Fit .. Got It!
34. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
35. All Men Are Animals,
Some Just Make Better Pets.
36. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
37. WANTED:
Meaningful overnight relationship.
38. Sore/Loserman 2006
G'dAY!
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