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  1. #1
    Journeyman
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    Default Question to MEN: Does he like me or not??

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    I know it sounds like a silly grade school question. But I'm finding it so frustrating that I'm

    asking the only people who can decode a confusing man, namely, you fine studly men

    How can you tell if a

    guy likes a girl? I'm talking about the reserved guys who won't look you in the eye. Pshaw, they say women are

    hard to read, that's nothing compared to reserved men. Here's my problem: there's a guy I like A LOT, I just

    can't tell what he thinks of me. I know him from work, though I see him only once in 10 days or so during meetings

    and such as he works on another floor.

    I thought he dislikes me because he never looks or even says hi, but

    sometimes things happen that confuse me. Like at a corporate get together recently, we all had to mention a musician

    we liked. I was one of the first and said an offbeat one that nobody mentioned. It was his turn near the end, and he

    mentioned the exact same one. He was the only other one to do so. It could be coincidence, by why would he blatanly

    mention the same thing when it's so different and odd? I know I wouldn't, but maybe it's a girl thing.

    Then on

    an evaluation report sent out, he was in charge of evaluating a small group, about 7 of us in all. Everyone got a

    proficient or good. I got an excellent. It's not an objective ranking where excellent means 10 points or anything,

    it's just subjective comments. But that still surprised me a little as I was expecting something negative. And then

    a few days back someone asked him a technical question. He referred her to me.

    Things like this make me think he

    atleast respects my work abilities a little, even if it doesn't mean he likes me as a person. But why do I feel

    like a second-rate citizen around him? At meetings with our small project team he looks at the other six people

    while speaking, but barely glances at me. Then today he came out from the coffee room, and I was the first person he

    saw in the cubicle area. He just looked and glanced away like he couldn't care less. But he nodded at another

    woman, and gave a buddy-buddy greeting to a guy. I felt sorta hurt and left out.

    He's not shy, but reserved.

    He's friendly with people he knows and usually chilled out. Why is he like this towards me? Do I rub him wrong, or

    maybe it's my own reservedness?

    I'm crushing on him, but I'm sure he doesn't feel the same. I don't dress to

    sex at work, so I look dowdy with glasses and boxy suits and all. Can't imagine he'd see anything in me. But why

    do I get the feeling there's something more to this? It feels like he respects but doesn't like me. How to get him

    to like me, as a friend??

    Jesus it's frustrating. Do you men have any insights? I feel silly posting this now,

    as though I just confessed in my preteen diary about a guy from math class

  2. #2
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    Default If he likes the same music as you do thats a good sign

    Scope out the women who dress somewhat more liberaly than you do at

    work...................and this is IMPORTANT......................where he looks at them . Once armed with this

    knowledge dress not too outrageous but show some tasteful work apropriate skin .If he is a breast man show work

    apropripiate cleavage, a if a buttman where something apropriate but bootlishishes .he also might be an odd duck

    that likes barefoot women .MEN are VISUAL . i guarantee you if you talk about the same music , share the same

    interest and you give VISUAL PHERMONES(aka eye candy he will warm up to you) Also this lady at work aproached me at

    work and i said yes. Dont under estimate yourself being the agressor .It is everymans fantasy.

  3. #3
    Journeyman
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    Default

    You always have to dress to

    impress. Most Americans dress for comfort. You need to dress to impress to be noticed. You can always talk to him

    btw. Initiate a conversation like you need help with a computer or you bring a jar at your workplace and pretend you

    can't open it then ask him. Once you are able to stop him, ask his name. Say like what is your name, I always see

    you but I don't know who you are.

    Some men are like me though. My eyes wonder a lot and sometimes it

    inadvertently creates a mixed signal that I'm interested in a woman when I'm not because I'm currently

    unavailable. It might be the same for him. He might be interested in you physically but emotionally and spiritually

    he is already taken.

  4. #4
    King of the coupons!
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    Red face Tis a tuff life, yes?

    Maybe ...

    just maybe ... all your I don't have friends/have time for friends, and hard work, which seems to me, is the type

    of person you are, is noticed. When one only thinks about work/moving forward in life as for things/money/power, you

    are noticed by those in power. He could like you, he could like the way you work, and your level of knowledge of

    your job.

    You can get all the advice you want, but no one knows what's on the fella's mind but GOD and the

    fella, and neither are talking. Finding out if someone likes you or not, male or female, takes TIME. So, little miss

    "I want friends when I have time for them," sounds like you're just gonnnnnna have to suffer a little, and WAIT and

    SEE, and still ........................... you may never know.

    Hang in there!

    We tend to make dealing with the opposite sex much harder than it really is.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  5. #5
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    Default Try This out

    One Day emphasis

    within company rules Cleavage . The next wear something that shows off your derrier. The following day wear a short

    but busness aproprirate skirt . Finaly when your boss aint looking walk barefoot at work .Notice if his gaze

    gravitates towards you more on one day less then others.Also be forward .Guys get a kick when a women is the

    agressor .

  6. #6
    Phero Dude DCW's Avatar
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    Cool

    You might not like what I'm about to

    say but I think he knows that your attracted to him, but he doesn't have the same feelings towards you (at least

    not yet).
    He feels uncomfortable that why he avoids eye contact and act the way he does.

    There are two

    women at my work place that have crushes on me, because I don't have the same feelings my demeanor changes slightly

    when I'm in contact with them.
    I dated women at work before and believe me the minute I found out they felt the

    same I was in like flint.

    Showing cleavage may appeal to his animalistic lust but you might be in a worse

    situation at work if he wants to move on after the deed.

    DCW

  7. #7
    Phero Enthusiast chicago's Avatar
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    Default

    sounds to me, you are out of

    league.
    ________
    Grandma live
    Last edited by chicago; 04-08-2011 at 03:31 PM.

  8. #8
    King of the coupons!
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    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by chicago
    sounds to me, you

    are out of league.
    <Chicago> You're ONLY out of your league IF YOU THINK you're out of your

    league.

    The lady wanted to know if men thought that he liked her, and all she gets is how to dress. Anyone?

    Anyone?

    As fer his actions ... he's either interested and/or shy, or he's not interested. TIME is

    still the true story teller. HURRY UP AND WAIT.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  9. #9
    Stranger marcuccio88's Avatar
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    Default Love in the corporate world

    Remember, life in the corporate world does not follow the same rules as life in the real world (I speak from

    personal authority/experience). Social behavior in the office is not always safe. Dressing sexy in the corporate

    environment may have negative effects. Likewise, your friend "target" may be reserved because he is concerned with

    his office persona and his career. From what you said, if he is available and hetero, he is probably interested in

    you too.
    My advice, make as much friendly contact as possible: chitchat, stop by his office to "check in" - send an

    email message. This is the only way to send a message (subtle flirt) in such a sterile environment. Once you build

    friendly rapport, it will be safe for both of you to build a social relationship.
    Just my 2cents
    and of course I

    wish you success.

  10. #10
    Journeyman
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chicago
    sounds to

    me, you are out of league.
    Lol, way to go for the ego boost dude, thanks

  11. #11
    Journeyman
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DCW
    You might not

    like what I'm about to say but I think he knows that your attracted to him, but he doesn't have the same feelings

    towards you (at least not yet).
    He feels uncomfortable that why he avoids eye contact and act the way he does.



    There are two women at my work place that have crushes on me, because I don't have the same feelings my demeanor

    changes slightly when I'm in contact with them.
    I dated women at work before and believe me the minute I found out

    they felt the same I was in like flint.

    Showing cleavage may appeal to his animalistic lust but you might be in

    a worse situation at work if he wants to move on after the deed.

    DCW

    ya know, DCW, what you've

    said makes the most sense so far. I hope that's not the case, but it could be possible. I act the same way he acts

    to me, which is put him on ignore. I barely contact him or look him in the eye and I don't go out of my way to

    speak to him. But that being said I just have an aura of happiness when he's around. I tend to smile at other

    people more, crack more jokes, etc. Maybe it's obvious in a subdued way that I like him? It could be possible. If

    it is, you're right, I don't like it.

  12. #12
    Journeyman
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marcuccio88
    Remember, life in the corporate world does not follow the same rules as life in the real world

    (I speak from personal authority/experience). Social behavior in the office is not always safe. Dressing sexy in the

    corporate environment may have negative effects. Likewise, your friend "target" may be reserved because he is

    concerned with his office persona and his career. From what you said, if he is available and hetero, he is probably

    interested in you too.
    My advice, make as much friendly contact as possible: chitchat, stop by his office to "check

    in" - send an email message. This is the only way to send a message (subtle flirt) in such a sterile environment.

    Once you build friendly rapport, it will be safe for both of you to build a social relationship.
    Just my

    2cents
    and of course I wish you success.

    Despite all the well-meaning advice I don't intend to sex

    it up at work. It would be too weird to do it suddenly, and I would lose respect at work. Right now my mannish

    attitude is what's giving me an edge and people are taking me more seriously. I'm not looking to lose it. And it

    goes against my own grain as well.

    I will try to test the water and fish around through casual business contact

    and see how he behaves. I doubt it will lead anywhere though since the few times I tried that we discussed the issue

    at hand then went back to our usual selves.

  13. #13
    Journeyman
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57
    Maybe ...

    just maybe ... all your I don't have friends/have time for friends, and hard work, which seems to me, is the type

    of person you are, is noticed. When one only thinks about work/moving forward in life as for things/money/power, you

    are noticed by those in power. He could like you, he could like the way you work, and your level of knowledge of

    your job.

    You can get all the advice you want, but no one knows what's on the fella's mind but GOD and the

    fella, and neither are talking. Finding out if someone likes you or not, male or female, takes TIME. So, little miss

    "I want friends when I have time for them," sounds like you're just gonnnnnna have to suffer a little, and WAIT and

    SEE, and still ........................... you may never know.

    Hang in there!

    We tend to make dealing with the opposite sex much harder than it really is.

    Awwww

    mobley, I'm not like that really. You seem to think I'm an ass-whooping friend-stomper

    It's just that

    since I don't have many friends, I've filled my schedule with other things. If I had friends they would come

    first. I have a bad habit of being extremely loyal because if someone wins my trust they can depend on me for

    life.

    But back to the topic, you're right. It's hard to say what any individual is thinking, god only knows.



    You're also right about not seeking dress advice, though I do appreciate all the cleavage and butt advice

    given . I'm not trying to capture him with feminine wiles or necessarily even go to bed with him. I'm just

    trying to understand his behavior since it's too confusing for me. And while I do like him sexually, I'm not too

    worried if he doesn't like me back sexually. I'm more interested if he likes me on a personal/friend level because

    it bothers me that he doesn't even seem to consider me alive. I guess I'm extremely interested in whats going on

    in his mind and expected you men to have some secret code or something.

  14. #14
    Phero Pharaoh
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    I agree with DCW to some

    extent. It sounds like you've telegraphed your interest and he is not returning it. However, he also seems to

    have some sort of supervisory capacity over you and that may be a factor. I got into all sorts of trouble flirting

    with and dating girls from work. Some men are willing to take that risk and others are not.

    And it may also be

    that he is seeing someone he doesn't talk about much at work. I've been seeing my girl for about 5 months now and

    yet it was only about a month ago that the women in my office started to get the message that I was taken. I keep

    my girl's picture on my desk and they all thought she was my daughter. I wasn't running around bragging about

    her or anything.

  15. #15
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    Default

    you know ive been doing what your

    "guy" does at work, its kinda the nervousness or not the right time- kind of attitude. I never did that before in

    my life, i used to always talk to women who i might be seeing for the first time. Its been some slump ive hit which

    im trying to bounce back up from, it sucks to know that women are giving you the opportunity yet you do not take

    advantage to atleast recognize them.

  16. #16
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default

    In large part I agree with

    Friendly. As a former corporate manager it was never prudent to show any interest in the ladies around the office.

    The company I worked for was really conservative and more than one career got ruined by the perception of

    impropriety. You simply didn't cross the line, management was unisex.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  17. #17
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    Default

    I also agree with both Friendly

    and Belgareth. It does sound like he has a supervisor capacity over you. He probably has seen you telegraph your

    interest, but it does leave you with this question. Is he trying to hide his own interest or (not interested) trying

    to let you down w/o confrontation? (or something in between.)

    If you are still interested in trying to persue

    this you are going to have to slowly and comfortably coax him out. Get in the habit of just saying "Hi" to him in

    the morning. Over the course of the month add a few more words. Somehow end up tripping in front of his

    cubical/office with a stack of papers (men love to come to the rescue).

    -SwingerMD
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

  18. #18
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    Default

    I guess I'm extremely

    interested in whats going on in his mind and expected you men to have some secret code or something.
    Yeah

    we do. Unfortunately, a condition of manhood is our signature in blood on a nondisclosure agreement. So I can't

    tell you.

    You should first test the waters by opening a friendly dialog. Don't be pushy, just make a few low

    key moves to show you'd like to know him a little better. If you later find out he's married or gay, you'll still

    have a friendly acquaintance, and that can't be bad in any work situation.

    The ideal office romance would be

    with someone outside of your immediate division or department. He's availble but can be avoided most of the time if

    things go south later. I had 2 different female colleagues come after me during the last few years with guns

    blazing. Unfortunately I wasn't attracted to either one. In fact both scared the crap out of me and it was awkward

    for several years as I had to see them everyday!
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  19. #19
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    Red face Poor little PooPoo.

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnextdoor
    Awwww mobley, I'm not like that really. You seem to think I'm an ass-whooping friend-stomper



    It's just that since I don't have many friends, I've filled my schedule with other things. If I had

    friends they would come first. I have a bad habit of being extremely loyal because if someone wins my trust they can

    depend on me for life.
    Sowwy, but no, friend-stomper is not what I meant ... someone that's always busy

    in a business/I gotta get ahead in life world and not making/taking time for others is more like it, Little Sugar.



    I'm pretty much the same way as for loyalty once me trust is won, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnextdoor
    But

    back to the topic, you're right. It's hard to say what any individual is thinking, god only knows.

    You're

    also right about not seeking dress advice, though I do appreciate all the cleavage and butt advice given .
    What they're not understanding is that cleavage and butt advice is never needed for a mature woman ...

    I'd say that once they've matured enough to understand that men are more visual ... tis soooooooooooooo natural

    for at least 97 percent of women to KNOW ALL the what to do/display.

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnextdoor
    I'm not

    trying to capture him with feminine wiles or necessarily even go to bed with him. I'm just trying to understand his

    behavior since it's too confusing for me. And while I do like him sexually, I'm not too worried if he doesn't

    like me back sexually. I'm more interested if he likes me on a personal/friend level because it bothers me that he

    doesn't even seem to consider me alive. I guess I'm extremely interested in whats going on in his mind and

    expected you men to have some secret code or something.
    He likes you on a personal/friend level = go ask

    the girlnexdoor. No one would send someone for advice to someone they didn't like/know their work = you're alive =

    it's probably better to keep my distance because ... she's hot ... I like her ... it could be trouble ... it's

    much safer ... she may not like me ... I wonder if she likes me on a personal/friend level ... I wonder if she knows

    I'm alive ... I wonder what's going on in her mind.

    Stop confusing the issue, grab ahold of ya belt buckle,

    and hold on, and let time show you what's on his mind. My guess is that it's probably driving you nuts. How does

    it feel not knowing/not being able to control the issue?

    As life turns its page, there will

    be lots of "I JUST HAVE TO KNOWs" that can't be found in a text book. Stimulating, yes?



    You'll be alright.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  20. #20
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnextdoor
    It feels like

    he respects but doesn't like me.
    Some guys are like that. Forget about him, for the time being.

    Experiment with your pheromones until you feel confident with their application. (Coffee shops and book stores are a

    good place to experiment.) Get to the point where you can intuitively gauge the effect of your mones and he’ll be a

    puppet on your string.
    Quote Originally Posted by girlnextdoor
    How to get him to like me, as a friend??
    Who cares?

    People that can’t be bothered to say a simple, “Hello” tend to be self-absorbed and don’t make very warm friends.
    Give truth a chance.

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