More body Language Signs That A Lady Is Interested?

[platinumfox]

I have noticed ladies yawning along with the other signs like leaning back in the

chair,fidgeting etc when Im wearing mones.It would go along with be relaxed right?

Also I have been hearing

when a lady waves as she is saying hi thats another sign have any of you heard or notice the same?

[TangledWeb]

Honestly...to me that sounds

more like they are bored and about to fall asleep.

I attached a PDF document I found online about flirting and

body language. If the women were leaning towards you I would say they are interested. Yawning and fidgeting sounds

more like boredom.

[catlord17]

I agree.Although maybe the

pheromonesare making her tired and relaxed? But I wouldn't bet on it. I'd put my money on not enough sleep.

[DCW]

I have two women in the office that

are madly in love with me (who can blame them), in any case one kind of fidgets when she speaks with me, she also

gave me a plant and is always willing to share treats like candy and such.
The other one just smiles all the time

and is always interested in how I'm doing.


DCW

[phersurf]

Women will lean forward and

fidget if they are interested. Leaning back and yawning is always a sign of disinterest.

[DCW]

She asked me where I went for lunch

so I told her Boston Market, she then offered me some coupons.

I'm such a stud.

DCW

[Kardz]

I have noticed

ladies yawning along with the other signs like leaning back in the chair,fidgeting etc when Im wearing mones.It

would go along with be relaxed right?

Also I have been hearing when a lady waves as she is saying hi thats

another sign have any of you heard or notice the same?

Platinum,

Are you wearing alot of AE or

A314?

Stuff makes me tired if I have too much on. Really tired.

Might not necessarily be signs of

disinterest. Might be your mones, might just be tired, or if the interaction is stale or uninteresting then yea

it's probably disinterest, but that kind of thing is obvious. You can feel it.

[frogfoot]

If you interest body language

recommended books:
David Cohen:Body Language in relationships(Sheldon Press London 1992)
Very good book with

pictures and photos from real life situations.

Vera F. Birkenbihl:Body Language
(original in german:SIGNALE des

Körpers)
Monitoring and understanding signs.Methods&practice.
Professional book-erudite(<-hope this is the right

word)

[Chemist]

Signs of Interest:

1)

laughing at your stupid jokes or even when ur not making a joke
2) suggestion of future activities together
3)

initiated body contact (slapping while joking, stroking your shoulder or forearm)
4) locked eye contact - not

looking around
5) asking you a lot of questions about yourself
6) initiating contact with you - approaching

you
7) suddenly talking louder with whomever she's with when you're in the area
8) jumping your bones.

[Friendly1]

Yawning can be a sign of stress

rather than boredom. I used to hang on every word in those lists of body language signs, but I've found that most

of them are too shallow and repetitive. They emphasize the most popular points and don't really offer a

well-rounded explanation of how to interpret the signals.

Let me give you an example from my own recent

experience. I was sitting with a girl who stayed way back from me, crossed her legs, and held her hands in her lap.

She barely made eye contact. All throughout that conversation I kept thinking, "I've lost her. There is no interest

here."

The same girl nonetheless came toward me every time I moved away from her. If I got up and walked away

she would follow me.

So, why the closed body language when we were sitting down? Because she was focusing on

controlling herself. She was holding back, containing her interest and excitement. But the fact that she kept moving

to be near me revealed that she really wanted to be close to me.

A single contradictory signal doesn't tell you

anything. If it is repeated, then it tells you that the person is in conflct, trying to conceal true feelings but

lapsing when the connection seems to be breaking.

Another example, same girl (different situation). I ended a

conversation when I thought she had lost interest in further discussion. But I asked her to walk with me. I have

taken to the habit of putting my hands behind my back to keep from putting them in my pockets. This is normally

interpreted as a very confident, often arrogant gesture. I am very conscious when I do this that I may be projecting

an air of self-importance to people around me, so I try not to maintain that posture for long.

The girl

immediately put her hands behind her back as we walked along. She was unconsciously mirroring my body language,

revealing that she was feeling or wanting to build rapport with me.

Another example involving my boss, a very

experienced salesperson who reads body language. We were talking with a prospect after making a proposal to him. I

felt confident we were close to a deal. I was doing my best to build rapport with him and stay open in my body

language. But my boss kept rocking back and forth on his heels (we were all standing). I thought, "That looks like

he wants to get out of this discussion."

When we left, my boss revealed that he felt the guy liked us and our

proposal, but we had not clinched the deal. As it turned out, we lost the contract. My boss' instincts had revealed

themselves to me through his rocking motion, even though everything else he had done (laughing, smiling, making

great eye contact, building rapport through conversation) indicated he was warm and confident in our proposal.



Another example involves a waitress at a restaurant tonight. I was flirting with her out of habit (my girl was not

there). The waitress is cute so you know guys are always flirting with her. So she didn't make much eye contact

with me, didn't smile much, spent more time talking to other people, etc. She gave me no signs of interest.



Nonetheless, at one point I said, "What's your name, so we don't keep saying 'Hey, you'?" She told me her

name.

The next time she came over to our table, I made a point of asking her something by first using her name.

She immediately stopped what she was doing, looked at me in surprise, and smiled. She quickly caught herself and

went back to what she was doing. Nonetheless, I now knew she was interested but had been trying not to show any

interest.

You have to look beyond the standard signs. Test and probe the other person's body language, see if

it holds true when you change something in the situation, or see if there are contrary indicators (such as what the

person does with their feet) that consistently oppose what other body signals do.

We are most effective at

controlling our facial expressions. We are least effective at controlling our feet. We almost never control our

surprise.

I have been working on keeping my feet resting solidly on the floor whenever I sit. I have been trying

to feel comfortable when I don't put my hands behind my back. I have been trying to remember to show people my

palms in an upward position.

I find these things are easier to do when I can sincerely feel the way these body

signals indicate I am feeling, so I have found that I need to watch my moods and my comfort level and make

adjustments.

I am learning to read my own body language, and in doing so I have begun seeing things in other

people's body language I didn't see before.

[Gegogi]

I think Friendly has made many

extremely insightful points. Women often control themselves and mask their feelings, so a few "body signs" may not

mean anything at all. In fact, their words, actions and body language are often in conflict, so you must look beyond

a few signs to understand what's going on. I've met a number of women that try hard to appear disinterested, even

hostile when they're attracted to me. However, they're always something eventually that gives them away.

[platinumfox]

Friendly hit a grand slam and

is exactly right.Sometimes a woman will smile while others will do the "hidden smile" thing.Squirming in the

seat(fidgeting) is another some women just get nervous when they are turned on.As Friendly mentioned some women wont

look you in the eye if they are attracted to you because they dont want to be caught staring while others will just

stare.

[ohmmmm]

I agree with Platinumfox.

Currently, there is a woman whom I was friendly with in a yoga class as we shared some of the same strong interest

in it...beyond most of the the other students. All of a sudden she is not standing near me any more in class and not

initiating any conversations except polite formal type talk. However, I see her sneaking glances at me and trying

not to make eye contact. Now, I've never done anything to suggest sexual interest but I get the sixth sense

somehting is going on with her. To make sense of all this is that she is married with two kids. I'm fond of her

but I'm not going after her and haven't made any advances. So this is just an example of strange behaviour that

may indicate interest without the person showing the normal signs. Somtimes we will never know what is going on, but

being aware of people, cirmcustances and subtle clues may help us or at least make life more interesting.

[Cullmanz Own]

One very noticable sign of

interest is when she crosses her legs. Not only does this signal sexual feelings but a women will usually point her

legs tward you as a sign of interest.

[Gegogi]

And if she is really interested

in you, she will open her legs...

[Friendly1]

Simply crossing her legs is not

enough. Her knees or feet must be pointed towards you. But if she opens and closes her legs, recrossing them, she

may be showing you the goods. She may also be uncomfortable and have to get up.

It's always best to test your

instincts by giving her an opportunity to show a second or third sign of interest by moving to another position.

She'll let you know soon enough if she is following you with her eyes or her body.

[Friendly1]

You can miss a lot of

interesting opportunities, though, if you don't look for the more subtle signs.

I was at a dance class last

night where a girl, probably about 20, was showing me the goods. I couldn't be sure at first so I moved around.

Every time she stopped to listen to the teacher, she would point one foot at me. She made sure I could see her

pulling her hair back and stroking her fingers through her hair. But the most intriguing sign was that every time

she danced in front of me, she somehow made sure she leaned toward her partner enough so that I could see her

cleavage.

I was standing off to the side. I didn't participate in the class. No matter where I stood, this

girl went to stand between me and the teacher, so that I could take as long an lingering a look as I desired.



She doesn't know I'm seeing someone. So she is definitely doing a come on. Now. Why? I don't know. Maybe

she just likes to play games with older men. She told me last week she was going back to school up in the northeast

somewhere.

I was wearing The Edge, Natural Attraction, and a cover scent. Maybe some APC, too. Hadn't

refreshed since the morning, though.

The girl spent a lot of time looking in the mirror. Every time I gave in

to temptation and scanned her profile, I caught her looking at my reflection. It got to the point where I felt like

I was just egging her on (to egg me on). I finally walked out of the class after 30 minutes. The teacher wanted me

to stay, but I said I was being a distraction to the guys who kept inviting me to join the rotation.

I think the

main reason this girl was flirting with me, the pheromones aside, is that nearly all the other men in the class are

older than me. One guy is about 2-3 years younger than me and he doesn't dress like anything special (he even

wears white socks with black loafers). I usually come into these classes from work, so I'm wearing nice slacks and

a tie with my dress shoes on.

So, she was sort of in a desert, and I was the closest thing to an oasis for

her.

[So Confused]

Any and all

responses in regards to this post are welcome, but I'd be especially grateful to get Friendly1's insights. Sorry

it's so long, but I want to be thorough so I can get the best feedback.

In continuing with questions of body

language signals, I figured it'd be best to insert this here, rather than starting a whole new thread. First off,

here's my situation: I am a pretty big guy (6'0, 248 lb. bodybuilder with 20 1/4 inch arms and a 34 inch waist-

yes, natural). Due to this, whenever I tend to get into a new crowd, I'm perceived to be as more an alpha male for

sure. But anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm one of the most shy and unassertive guys you'll ever meet.

I've never even approached a gal up until recently, as all through my school years the gals would come after me....

and I still do more than alright to this regard today. However, there are very few gals who I develop interest in

(this current gal is the first one I've liked in over a YEAR!!!), and act very differently around the ones that I

DO like (get nervous, tongue-tied, get caught looking and turn away in embarrassment, seem (and am in fact) very

unconfident....) I know that I have to change all of this, and am working on it, but my upcoming question centers

around how to interpret my current situation with a certain gal.
From the moment I first met this gal just over

two months ago I felt that something special (more than a physical attraction). I am a personal trainer, and she

goes to the gym I work out of, so I get to see her @4 days a week. After a few days of friendly chatter (come to

find out her mother was my teacher for 6 years, and I was her favorite student... so much so that she sent me away

to college with a present lol) I got up the nerve to start talking with her more openly. Over time we started

emailing every few days, and we'd still chat for about 20 minutes or so a few times a week in the gym. This gal

writes articles for dating mags, so she's constantly reading up on "the game" that the dating scene has become. In

the latest one, she writes about how to avoid wasting time dating; and part of it basically concludes that gals

should stop wasting their time with the bad boy types. To me, this was a VERY good sign, as in talking with her she

knows that I'm certainly a relationship-only guy. But yet every guy she's mentioned dating when it comes up in our

conversations is just that... one of the bad boys who gals in the teen-mid 20s range try to "tame."

Anyways,

I've asked her to casually hang out three different times now, two of which were absolutely last minute and she'd

already had plans. The third time she also had a legitimate excuse, as though I asked five days or so in advance she

had plans to go to her alma mater for alumni weekend. So I couldn't really tell based on these situations if she

was really interested. Now in terms of everything I observed in our time spent together at the gym, I was nearly

certain that there was a lot of interest on her part too. From about 4 days or so after I first met her up as

recently as this past Thrusday, I will catch her staring at me both directly and through the many mirrors in the

facility; a good dozen times a day at least. And she, of course, catches me just as frequently. I cuaght her in a

slip-up one day where she came into the gym and let it slip that she'd been talking with her mother about me (got

all flustered and had to look down). She'd actually even gotten to the point where she'd move herself into an

accessible area when she'd see me come into the gym (this gal is a BIG believer in the male having to be the

aggressor). She also took an angle I was using to the next level and suggested that we start training together (I

had "jokingly" brought it up that she could be my relationship counselor and I'd be her trainer). The two times we

"worked" together took up a combined 6 HOURS, most of which was spent flirting (TONS of laughter, lots of positive

compliments to one another, some touching... and her eye contact was RIDICULOUS!!!) I had to keep reminding her

after 1/2 hour or so of just chatting that we had to keep moving!

So you'd think she was into me too, right?

Well, THIS is where my question comes in. I got an email from her in response to one I sent her, and it didn't go

so well. I "disguised" it as my going to her for her "relationship therapist" advice, but really just described our

situation to her without putting her name in there, and asked her how I should take it all. She wrote back saying

that if I'd wanted to hang out with her I should have asked for her phone number instead of being so evasive, that

I'd basically stumbled into the "friend" ladder and that she wasn't romantically interested. I got the dreaded

"you're such a nice guy," she sincerely wants to be my friend, and keep training with me. I, of course, have

avoided her for the past week since this happened lol. So.....
1) How in the world could I have gotten all of those

seemingly obvious signals from her and yet she's not interested? Is she playing hard to get, or is that just a

pretty polite way of telling me to give up?

2) Like I said, I don't tend to like many gals. I get to know them

in a social setting before I'll ever consider dating them. I have never felt so much of a connection with a gal

before, and don't want to give up on this one. That's why I'm here. I want to buy a product that'll help me,

along with forcing myself to not be so shy, to get her romantically interested. I spent about 10 hours over the past

few days reading through parts of this forum, and from what I've gathered, the Chikara/NPA combo seems to work

wonders. But I have to watch out and make sure I get something that compliments what I naturally put out there. In

terms of what I'd wear out with people who don't know me I'd think I shouldn't wear the -none containing

products, which could make me more intimidating. BUT I don't care about that. I'm literally only buying this with

the intention of getting this girl to see me as more than a friend. She already knows me to be a really shy, moral

and kind person, but she seems to still be into the bad boy types (going completely against what her article

advises). So does this mean I SHOULD buy a -none containing product so she'll think I'm more macho? Plus, there

was a new thread on here this morning about studies showing that -nol and not -none had the most positive effects on

gals. What should I try? If at all possible, I'd like to go with a standalone first, as I've never used this stuff

and would be afraid I'd mess up in mixing a bunch of things when just getting started. So far I'm thinking maybe

Chikara by itself?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and any and all feedback is GREATLY

appreciated.

[platinumfox]

Any and all responses in regards to this post are welcome, but I'd be especially grateful to get

Friendly1's insights. Sorry it's so long, but I want to be thorough so I can get the best feedback.

In

continuing with questions of body language signals, I figured it'd be best to insert this here, rather than

starting a whole new thread. First off, here's my situation: I am a pretty big guy (6'0, 248 lb. bodybuilder with

20 1/4 inch arms and a 34 inch waist- yes, natural). Due to this, whenever I tend to get into a new crowd, I'm

perceived to be as more an alpha male for sure. But anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm one of the most shy

and unassertive guys you'll ever meet. I've never even approached a gal up until recently, as all through my

school years the gals would come after me.... and I still do more than alright to this regard today. However, there

are very few gals who I develop interest in (this current gal is the first one I've liked in over a YEAR!!!), and

act very differently around the ones that I DO like (get nervous, tongue-tied, get caught looking and turn away in

embarrassment, seem (and am in fact) very unconfident....) I know that I have to change all of this, and am working

on it, but my upcoming question centers around how to interpret my current situation with a certain gal.
From

the moment I first met this gal just over two months ago I felt that something special (more than a physical

attraction). I am a personal trainer, and she goes to the gym I work out of, so I get to see her @4 days a week.

After a few days of friendly chatter (come to find out her mother was my teacher for 6 years, and I was her favorite

student... so much so that she sent me away to college with a present lol) I got up the nerve to start talking with

her more openly. Over time we started emailing every few days, and we'd still chat for about 20 minutes or so a few

times a week in the gym. This gal writes articles for dating mags, so she's constantly reading up on "the game"

that the dating scene has become. In the latest one, she writes about how to avoid wasting time dating; and part of

it basically concludes that gals should stop wasting their time with the bad boy types. To me, this was a VERY good

sign, as in talking with her she knows that I'm certainly a relationship-only guy. But yet every guy she's

mentioned dating when it comes up in our conversations is just that... one of the bad boys who gals in the teen-mid

20s range try to "tame."

Anyways, I've asked her to casually hang out three different times now, two of

which were absolutely last minute and she'd already had plans. The third time she also had a legitimate excuse, as

though I asked five days or so in advance she had plans to go to her alma mater for alumni weekend. So I couldn't

really tell based on these situations if she was really interested. Now in terms of everything I observed in our

time spent together at the gym, I was nearly certain that there was a lot of interest on her part too. From about 4

days or so after I first met her up as recently as this past Thrusday, I will catch her staring at me both directly

and through the many mirrors in the facility; a good dozen times a day at least. And she, of course, catches me just

as frequently. I cuaght her in a slip-up one day where she came into the gym and let it slip that she'd been

talking with her mother about me (got all flustered and had to look down). She'd actually even gotten to the point

where she'd move herself into an accessible area when she'd see me come into the gym (this gal is a BIG believer

in the male having to be the aggressor). She also took an angle I was using to the next level and suggested that we

start training together (I had "jokingly" brought it up that she could be my relationship counselor and I'd be her

trainer). The two times we "worked" together took up a combined 6 HOURS, most of which was spent flirting (TONS of

laughter, lots of positive compliments to one another, some touching... and her eye contact was RIDICULOUS!!!) I had

to keep reminding her after 1/2 hour or so of just chatting that we had to keep moving!

So you'd think she

was into me too, right? Well, THIS is where my question comes in. I got an email from her in response to one I sent

her, and it didn't go so well. I "disguised" it as my going to her for her "relationship therapist" advice, but

really just described our situation to her without putting her name in there, and asked her how I should take it

all. She wrote back saying that if I'd wanted to hang out with her I should have asked for her phone number instead

of being so evasive, that I'd basically stumbled into the "friend" ladder and that she wasn't romantically

interested. I got the dreaded "you're such a nice guy," she sincerely wants to be my friend, and keep training with

me. I, of course, have avoided her for the past week since this happened lol. So.....
1) How in the world could I

have gotten all of those seemingly obvious signals from her and yet she's not interested? Is she playing hard to

get, or is that just a pretty polite way of telling me to give up?

2) Like I said, I don't tend to like many

gals. I get to know them in a social setting before I'll ever consider dating them. I have never felt so much of a

connection with a gal before, and don't want to give up on this one. That's why I'm here. I want to buy a product

that'll help me, along with forcing myself to not be so shy, to get her romantically interested. I spent about 10

hours over the past few days reading through parts of this forum, and from what I've gathered, the Chikara/NPA

combo seems to work wonders. But I have to watch out and make sure I get something that compliments what I naturally

put out there. In terms of what I'd wear out with people who don't know me I'd think I shouldn't wear the -none

containing products, which could make me more intimidating. BUT I don't care about that. I'm literally only buying

this with the intention of getting this girl to see me as more than a friend. She already knows me to be a really

shy, moral and kind person, but she seems to still be into the bad boy types (going completely against what her

article advises). So does this mean I SHOULD buy a -none containing product so she'll think I'm more macho? Plus,

there was a new thread on here this morning about studies showing that -nol and not -none had the most positive

effects on gals. What should I try? If at all possible, I'd like to go with a standalone first, as I've never used

this stuff and would be afraid I'd mess up in mixing a bunch of things when just getting started. So far I'm

thinking maybe Chikara by itself?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and any and all feedback is

GREATLY appreciated.

If I was you I would intentionally flirt with other girls in front of her

to make her jealous.Hanging around lots of women makes a "nice guy" look like a bad boy.

Then again she could

just be threatened by your size.

[MOBLEYC57]

I'd bet, she likes what she

writes about ... the Bad Boys!

SOE and some -none (NPA:TE:PI).

[bjf]

She was writing to

herself!

You've probably got a high none signature. I'm not sure you need more none but you can try it. It

was more a case of your actions (or lack there of). She seems like a pain though.

[So Confused]

If I was

you I would intentionally flirt with other girls in front of her to make her jealous.Hanging around lots of women

makes a "nice guy" look like a bad boy.

Then again she could just be threatened by your size.

I've

thought about giving this a shot, but I am not one who tends to like to play games. The few times I've been near

her and talked to another gal named Becky in the gym about this other girl named Kymmy who is always hitting on me

in the bars, my gal not only cuts right into our conversations, but she also seems to make the extra effort to come

up and talk to me later on somewhere else in the gym where we're alone. I may have to try this tactic

intentionally now....Good suggestion.

I'd bet, she likes what she writes about ... the Bad

Boys!

Yeah, she has traditionally seemed to be attracted to them since the end of HS when she first

started dating (she's a LOT like me, and shyness with the opposite sex is one of our common traits). However, once

she gets into a relationship with them, it doesn't take her long to figure out that she's not compatible with

them. Her longest relationship to date has only been 1 MONTH lol. This is due to one of two scenarios: 1) She

realizes a few days in that the guy's a jerk and breaks it off. 2) The guy has enough game to play the "kind of

nice guy" role, and will do so for a few weeks before making his true intentions known. Then if she refuses to

sleep with him she gets dumped.
We've actually had some long discussions about her falling into this pattern of

going for the bad boy types, and she constantly says she's not going to do it anymore. But actions speak louder

than words, I guess.

She was writing to herself!

You've probably got a high none signature. I'm

not sure you need more none but you can try it. It was more a case of your actions (or lack there of). She seems

like a pain though.

What do you mean she was writing to herself? Do you think this was maybe a way of

testing me? To see if I'd get more aggressive with her in response? She DID tell me that I should have asked for

her phone number.... Or was it maybe a test to see how serious I am to be in a relationship with her, as if I were

I'd act more aggressively? Do you think that her wanting to still train with me is a means of keeping me around so

she can get a better feel for me than she currently has? I mean, when we work together, over 1/2 that time is spent

flirting and just having fun... do you think that the book's still open here? She is a big one on believing that

there are rules to dating... is this maybe just part of the playing hard to get deal? I know she seems like a real

pain, but to me she's much more than worth it. We really do have an amazing amount in common, and I'm willing to

put in whatever work I have to, so long as there's a chance.

Also, as far as scents go; would you say that I

should go with the Chikara, as I've read that it can be worn pretty much anywhere without seeming out of place? Or

should I use the unscented version with some AXE body spray to mask it? I'll be using it primarily in the gym, as

that's where I run into this gal on a regular basis.

Thanks for all of your input guys. It's much

appreciated.

[bjf]

she was writing that ARTICLE to

herself.

as for the email, obviously what happened was she excepted you to be a man and take more inititive.

you didn't. she wants a guy who will do the leading. your unassertive ways didn't jive with that. maybe it's too

late now, but since you've got nothing to lose you can still pursue her. but it's got to be more than flirting.

[Friendly1]

Any

and all responses in regards to this post are welcome, but I'd be especially grateful to get Friendly1's insights.

Sorry it's so long, but I want to be thorough so I can get the best feedback.

Thanks, but

my opinion is just one among many and while I do enjoy sharing my thoughts on body language, I don't see 99% of

what goes on in the scenes other people describe. I could be way off base simply because I work with very, very

filtered information when commenting on other people's situations.

That said....

Anyways, I've asked her to casually hang out three different times now, two of which were absolutely last

minute and she'd already had plans. The third time she also had a legitimate excuse....

A girl who

wants to spend time with you never has anything going on, no matter what is on her schedule. If she doesn't

counter-offer when there is a conflict, even by making a suggestion about when it's a good time, you're dead in

the water.

Situational language is a lot like body language. Take whatever unfolds and magnify it, extrapoate to

ridiculous lengths.

For example, my girlfriend has brought up marriage and children a few times over the past

couple of months. She is not asking me to marry her. She is feeling me out on the subject. Today when we met for

lunch she brought it up again and mentioned how her first boyfriend broke her heart. She then went on into some

little rant about how today people have to go through 3-4 husbands, because they'll never find that one true

match.

So, I looked her in the eye and said, "But I don't want 3-4 husbands!"

My point is that she is

telling me something, either that I have potential or I don't. You never know when you fall off the short list of

possible Mr. Rights. But the conversation was relatively innocuous. We just happened to end up reading each other's

palms and talking about how many children we're (each) going to have (miraculously, I found we'll both have 2, but

I pointed out that "4 is better").

I've been told that when a girl starts talking about marriage and babies,

it's a test. She is constantly testing me in very subtle ways.

Keep that in mind: They test you constantly, and

they test you without even thinking about it. They'll test you even when they are not interested just to see what

they can get away with.

Okay, back to you.

...Now in terms of everything I observed in our time spent

together at the gym, I was nearly certain that there was a lot of interest on her part too. From about 4 days or so

after I first met her up as recently as this past Thrusday, I will catch her staring at me both directly and through

the many mirrors in the facility; a good dozen times a day at least. And she, of course, catches me just as

frequently. I cuaght her in a slip-up one day where she came into the gym and let it slip that she'd been talking

with her mother about me (got all flustered and had to look down)....

I doubt if the slip-up was

accidental (but I am missing 99% of the conversation). Remember that you're the big muscular man who can crush her

like an aluminum can. She has to make sure she feels safe around you. Safe means you won't hurt her and you won't

allow anyone else to hurt her.

Casual comments often reveal subtle vulnerabilities that provide you with an

opportunity to prove you're a gentleman with some class. Any guy can be crass and obnoxious. She will react

insinctively to any guy who stands out from the rest.

...She'd actually even gotten to the point where

she'd move herself into an accessible area when she'd see me come into the gym (this gal is a BIG believer in the

male having to be the aggressor). She also took an angle I was using to the next level and suggested that we start

training together (I had "jokingly" brought it up that she could be my relationship counselor and I'd be her

trainer). The two times we "worked" together took up a combined 6 HOURS, most of which was spent flirting (TONS of

laughter, lots of positive compliments to one another, some touching... and her eye contact was RIDICULOUS!!!) I had

to keep reminding her after 1/2 hour or so of just chatting that we had to keep moving!

So far, this

could be due to interest and it could be due to personality and it could be due to strong natural pheromones

(you're working out, after all), and it could be due to lots of stuff. But it all falls into the "one type of

action" category. One action = one signal. One signal doesn't tell you enough.

When in doubt, change something,

do something different. Get another signal.

So you'd think she was into me too, right? Well, THIS is

where my question comes in. I got an email from her in response to one I sent her, and it didn't go so well. I

"disguised" it as my going to her for her "relationship therapist" advice, but really just described our situation

to her without putting her name in there, and asked her how I should take it all. She wrote back saying that if I'd

wanted to hang out with her I should have asked for her phone number instead of being so evasive, that I'd

basically stumbled into the "friend" ladder and that she wasn't romantically interested. I got the dreaded "you're

such a nice guy," she sincerely wants to be my friend, and keep training with me. I, of course, have avoided her for

the past week since this happened lol. So.....

I would say that you may have had a chance but you blew

it as soon as you whimped out and sent her the "disguised" email. You should have just said, "Look, Judy, I'm

feeling some interest from you. Let's get together and split a pizza after the next workout. Veggie only, of

course."

That's when Miss Dating Guru knows you want to go out. And if she says, "No, thanks. I just want to be

friends", you say, "No problem. Of course, you haven't really met my friends. You may not like their company. I get

a little tired of playing Scrabble all the time so I look for other things to do."

"Such as?"

"You let me

know when you'd really like to find out."

That tells her to fish or cut bait.

Of course, Don Steele says

the best reply is, "I have PLENTY of friends", and then you shut up until she says something.

Never apologize

for making a wussy-mistake. Never apologize for being yourself. As long as you are treating her with courtesy and

respect, you don't need to apologize for asking her out, for looking at her in "that" way occasionally, or for

being the man that you are.

1) How in the world could I have gotten all of those seemingly obvious

signals from her and yet she's not interested? Is she playing hard to get, or is that just a pretty polite way of

telling me to give up?

I think you had a chance up until you came across like a wuss. Some people might

peg her as a game player, though. She has manipulated yet one more man into groveling at her feet.

The only way

to save the situation, based on my experience, is to move on and let her see you spend time with other girls.

She'll rethink her decision in a heart beat. They always do.

2) Like I said, I don't tend to like many

gals. I get to know them in a social setting before I'll ever consider dating them.

That's what you

and I and every other guy has done all our lives. Turn every encounter into a date and you'll never have to ask for

a date again. Let them know right off the bat (without saying it, of course), whether you might be interested.



But practice with the girls who indicate to you that you may have a chance. They are not asking for committed

relationships when they flirt with you.

It's ironic how women supposedly wonder why they cannot get men to

commit, and yet so many men start thinking about relationships before the girls can even raise them out of the

"Creepy Stranger Who Irks Me" category to "Maybe He Is Worth Flirting With".

...I have never felt so much

of a connection with a gal before, and don't want to give up on this one. That's why I'm

here....

Abandon hope, all ye who walk down this path. When you realize and accept that there

are more girls out there who will make you feel this connection again and again, you'll start to look and act and

think like the Alpha Male you truly were born to be.

They are constantly being hit upon by men all day, seven

days a week. If they go outside, men are looking at them. If they bend over, men are looking at them. For even many

average-looking women, even women who are moderately overweight, it's a smorgasboard of attention. Some women get

asked out far more than others. But they all get looked at, and they know instinctively who is looking at them and

how they are being looked at.

That is where the pheromones will help you, in my opinion. That is where they

helped me. You start to notice the women checking YOU out. The pheromones turn up the volume. You get to see (and

appreciate) the smorgasboard of attention that life has laid out in front of you. And it was there all along. You

just didn't see it or appreciate it. But pheromones seem to bring out the best in women (in my experience).



You probably just need to back off. You don't need to stop liking her, but you need to open yourself up to other

girls. Don't look or wait for "the one". Just teach yourself to enjoy their company and learn to do things with

them where there is no pressure. Use your time with other girls to teach yourself how to relax and be confident

around one you really like.

It's okay to really like a girl from the start, but you have to show her you're

not just another mousy, unconfident guy who has no game.

My current girl and I go down this path every now and

then. If I feel like I'm being too accomodating, I pull back. A few weeks ago, I was pressing her to spend more

time with me. She literally said, "Why are you in such a rush? We still have time."

BIG signal there. And I got

it. I didn't like it, but I understood her point. So I backed off.

Reading situational language and body

language can be done in two ways:

1) You exaggerate everything, extend it as far as you possibly can. If she

holds a drink in front of her chest, she is putting up a barrier. If she crosses a crowded room full of people to

stand next to you (especially where other women are present), she is saying, "I want to be close to you."

2)

Reduce everything to its most primal level possible.

If she flirts with you in any way, she is saying, "If you

don't screw up, I may let you be the father of my next baby." If she provokes you in any way, she is saying, "Show

me what you are made of."

The average man probably fails more tests in a day than he recognizes in a month.



When a woman walks up to you in a crowded club and says, "Will you please dance with me?", no matter what she

looks like, no matter how many ton trucks it takes to move her across the floor, get your butt out there and find a

rhythm to move to. You are the hottest item on every woman's radar from that point forward until you screw up.



Your job, as a man, is not only to avoid screwing up as much as possible, but to make it look like nothing

happened whenever you screw up in a small way (the big blunders require some tactful fence-mending).

[Friendly1]

...We've

actually had some long discussions about her falling into this pattern of going for the bad boy types, and she

constantly says she's not going to do it anymore. But actions speak louder than words, I guess.

Yes.

You're acting like her girlfriend, not like a prospective boy friend. You don't have to be a bad boy. You just

have to be someone who isn't tamed.

...She DID tell me that I should have asked for her phone number.... Or

was it maybe a test to see how serious I am to be in a relationship with her, as if I were I'd act more

aggressively?

No, she's young enough to think that you should be asking for her phone number. Most

guys are afraid to do that, so it's another test (and one that easily gets abused).

...Do you think that

her wanting to still train with me is a means of keeping me around so she can get a better feel for me than she

currently has?...

It is starting to sound like you're her big muscle-bound girlfriend, with whom she

feels safe and can say anything. The next time she starts talking about another guy, change the subject and let her

go on about something neutral, or bring a quick but firm and polite end to the conversation.

[Pongo]

Ahhh the Friendly1 gettin his

teach on ~ really good stuff!

[So Confused]

Wow, thanks a lot Friendly1.

There's so much info to process in there that I may have to read it a few times lol. I think I'm gonna try that

suggestion out to flirt with other gals around her. I just need to get her to hang out with me outside of the

gym... maybe I should go with her to a karaoke bar... I am a pretty good vocalist (used to have STALKERS off and on

during my last 3 years of college over it all lol), and SHE actually made mention of the idea once awhile back...

hmm, how the heck did I miss THAT sign lol. That way I can definitely become the center of attention, which should

get her looking at me the way I want her to again.

I finally talked with her again tonight as she was getting

ready to leave. I have to admit, it felt VERY awkward this time around, and neither of us made a whole lot of eye

contact. However, I DID find out from the gym owner, who is a good friend to each of us, that before this

awkwardness she'd kept asking him all sorts of questions about me while I was busy training a client. And I still

caught her staring at me several times while I was working too. We're going to start working together again soon,

and I will make certain to avoid being a wuss this time around.

If I want to get her back to liking me

romantically, which I obviously do, it won't seem pitiful if I go back to being flirty with her again right? Even

given that she's told me she's not interested?

And what kind of pheromone do you think I should go with

Friendly1? Do you think that the Chikara would be the best standalone option? And should I go with the scented, or

unscented and mask it with AXE bodyspray? Thanks again for your numerous, and highly insightful comments.

[Friendly1]

Act like nothing happened. The

worst she can do is drop you from her life. You'll still be breathing if she never shows up again.

Like my dad

says, "Let it happen, don't make it happen."

And this time around, PAY ATTENTION.

Re: Pheromones



You're probably generating plenty of Androstenone. Try Scent of Eros or Chikara or one of the similar "social"

products.

[So Confused]

I'll try that, to act as

though it's no biggie. I should see her in there this morning. I'll also pick up some of that Chikara, see what

happens there. I'll post here with any updates to the situation. Thanks again for all of the help

everyone.

[catlord17]

I'm a little late to this

conversation, but I have a couple of things to add.

First, Friendly, wow. Great stuff. I love learning more

about body language because it has literally been like learning to see in entirely new wavelengths of light. I used

to think girls didn't notice me... now I realize they're always noticing me, and I have to be the man and say

hello. Since I started doing that, it's been great.

Secondly, So Confused, I have a suggestion for you. If you

frame this as a situation in which you have something to lose - you have already lost. The moment you have

something to lose, you start expressing this through body language and how you act, and this says WEAKNESS. She's

not the kind who goes for Betas, or she'd be in the pet section of Wal Mart picking between red or blue.

But,

when you approach women as a form of social entertainment, and stop caring if you end up with any particular one,

they will sense this as STRENGTH and VALUE and start gravitating like flies. This says, "I'm not weak and I don't

need you. But I'm enjoying your company, and having fun." It's a game! Play it with them! Go have fun! Enjoy

the socializing, and presume nothing else. Tease her, play with her, make her laugh, and laugh along with her, even

if the joke is on you. It takes a confident, secure man to enjoy a joke about himself. (And by the way, being fun

and funny is a great way to be less intimidating. You're doubtless intimidating physically, just as I intimidate

people intellectually. Fun overcomes that problem.)

I have never had so much fun as since I stopped caring

whether a woman liked me and started playing it as a social game. And since I did that, I have - when I choose to

open my mouth - started attracting women all over the place. My friends are commenting that I have a harem now, and

they're only half joking when they say it. And these women are interested, but I'm only looking for

friends!

It is strange to think that you need to stop caring if you get her in order to get her... but this idea

works. You know how they say you find what you're looking for when you stop looking? Of course you do need to

express interest, too... but I find that if you do this by having fun with them, it only makes them want you

more.

I am tiny compared to you - 5'8" tall and 125 pounds soaking wet. I can't gain weight to save my life,

although I haven't tried at a gym yet, and I am planning to do that when I have the finances, if only just to feel

better about myself and socialize more. But, as small framed as I am, I get a lot of attention and I know it's not

just the pheromones. It's the fact that I have a "take it or leave, it I'm here to have fun and I don't care

otherwise" attitude. That, and I am VERY perceptive to what women say without speaking.

I suggest you learn to

read people. Faces, posture, body language, and vocal cues all tell you about what she's thinking, even if she

doesn't say so. If you become skilled at this, people will actually begin thinking you're psychic because you

know what they are thinking, but not actually saying out loud. I have a few people who genuinely believe I'm

psychic because I have gotten so good at reading these subtle clues people give, and there's not a damned thing

psychic about them. The ability to read people is invaluable. It's also very entertaining to women if you can

mystify them with knowing things you "shouldn't know" - especially if you then tell them you are not psychic! It

makes for an even more fun game to play. "But then how did you know? C'mon, please tell me?"
"Nope."



Have fun.