Reply With QuoteWhat Bel said!!
Originally Posted by MrPlayboy
But you forget that
the quickest way there is to show respect , sure some woman like to be treated like crap for some reason... but most
prefer you to show at least some respect.
I don't know of many woman that like to be called 'ho , slapper ,
bitch ,slut , etc. Well at least any that i might be interested in, it may be different in your part of the world
though.
early 40's white maleor
or
What Bel said!!
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
--Lazarus Long
And again!
Guess that means we don't have game.
Players ... do
yourself a favor ... make that pen and ink change ... t'would be for the better ... 'sides, like your middle
finger ... you don't have to always use it.
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
I agree with
this comment!
Women don't want to be treated with any more respect than you would treat a man.
They
don't want to be called ho, bitch or anything like that (although I've watched PUAs use this with the right
attitude and have quality women eating out of their hands), but they also don't want to be treated like
princesses!
When a woman says they want guys to be themselves, they're not talking about the way most guys
act around quality women. They don't want the needy, suplicating, nice guys that most men turn into! They want a
man to act like a man. They don't want him to hide that he is a sexual being (without being creepy).
I used
to be one of these guys. I used to think that by acting like a gentleman I'd be different than those guys that
wanted to just have sex with her, she'd see that difference and want to be with me. Yeah, right! What happened is
I'd turn into the friend that she would complain about her boyfriend to. Women would say to me, "I wish I could
find a nice guy like you". And I'd be thinking, "I'm right fucking here!"
I recently overheard a
conversation at a coffee shop between 2 very together attractive women and when one of them brought up a recent date
she had with a Dr. and described his behavior (which was typical nice guy behavior), they both were actually grossed
out!
The following happened just this last Saturday at a coffee shop on Melrose. I went in to get a cup of
coffee at about 6:00 PM. There was a very attractive woman (looked about 35) standing in line to pick up food to go,
but it looked like she might have been at the end of the coffee line.
Me – Are you in the line for coffee?
Her – No, I’m waiting for food to go.
Me – I’ve never eaten here before, what did you order?
Her – The "whatever" sandwich.
Me – Is it good?
Her – Yeah, it’s really good!
Me –
Great! I’ll be sitting over there (pointing to a table for 2), I can’t wait to try it!
Her – (stunned for a
second) You’re funny!
Me – (after a short pause, using an exaggerated tone of pity) Getting food to take
home on a Saturday night, how sad.
Her – (laughing) you’re horrible! I’m meeting some friends later!
Me – Don’t act so defensive. These friends, they wouldn’t be “The Desperate Housewives” would they?
Her – (laughing even harder, feigning anger and hitting me in the shoulder) what a tease! My name is Emily.
Me – My name is Dave.
Us – made some fluff talk for a couple of minutes (the usual stuff, jobs,
where we grew up, interests, etc). I hardly ever gave her a straight answer. I teased a little more.
Her –
(getting her food) here’s my email and phone number.
Me – Sure, I’d love to discuss your lack of social
life.
Her – (leaving with her food, holds up hand to head in “phone symbol” and mouths “call me”)
A
year ago, if anyone would have told me that I could have interacted with a woman (that previously I would have
considered out of my league) and created such strong attraction that she would have offered me her phone number, I
would have accused them of being nuts.
Anybody that thinks a real
gentleMAN has to be needy or anything other than self assured and independent has no real conception of a gentleman.
I am considered to be a gentleman, I'm courteous to everybody all the time, even when I'm angry. I never
lower my standards for anybody and will walk away from any woman that thinks I am going to treat her like a princess
or one who thinks I'm going to allow her to play games. I laugh, joke, tease or ignore women...or men for that
matter depending on what I want. That's not needy or supplicating in any way.
The grovelling male who caters
to a woman's every whim and tries to weedle her out of her panties is not a gentleman or even a man by my
standards.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
We are in 100% agreement!
Those qualities you mention are the qualities of an
Alpha Male. Alpha Males are naturally attractive to women.
OKSo, going back to the
original statement, calling a woman a lady is simply showing reasonable respect and is something we should all do
under almost all circumstances.
Perhaps I should add that I don't play games either. People can take me as I am
or not, I don't especially care.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
Sounds like this came out of the DeAngelo newsletter.
You wouldn't happen to be ole Dave now, would you?
Nope, not
me!
I have read his stuff and have increased my success with women, though.
And yes, the first line is
David D, the rest was all me. Once I understood why his stuff works, I was able to integrate it and come up with my
own material.
THe biggest inprovement was when I worked on my inner game. No amount of tricks will work with
being congruent.
I'll agree women
shouldn't be automatically revered.
But judging from your first comment, that's why players don't get the
real ladies. But I suppose whether she's a lady or not doesn't matter when all you're looking for
is pussy.
Last edited by girlnextdoor; 03-02-2006 at 12:27 AM.
That was interesting! I couldn't tell what your tone was in that
conversation. Like most women, if it was me I would've ignored you if your tone was remotely creepy or rude. But if
it was humor then you'd be in.
Tickle a woman's sense of humor, and you're 90% of the way there.
Just
curiosity here, but that conversation, was it your "real" self, or was it a result of study and training
Belgareth, you're the MAN. You're one of the very few guys here who
understands communication between the sexes.
Why is this so hard for men to understand? They think they need to
be grovelling wimps or alpha jerks to get women.
We want neither. Like you said, be nice and curteous, yet
don't let a woman walk over you. That's the only secret to getting a woman. And that's what women mean
when we say be yourselves. Men shouldn't change their personality or natural disposition because they think it's
what women want.
A real man should be gentle and nice, at the same time be able to stand up for themselves
without necessarily 'abusing' a woman to show his manliness.
All those stupid mags like Cosmo have ruined it
for us
I think that what women "say they
want" and "what they desire" are two different things.
The will always say publicly that they want a nice guy who
is a "good man".
How many time have u heard “he is a very nice guy but” etc. etc.
The topic has been
discussed in length and the consensus is the nice guy trait doesn’t seem to be a positive virtue (sexual) with
today’s "modern woman".
DCW
It depends on how you define
'Nice Guy'. I still maintain that the wrong approach should be called wimp.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
Yo ! Read this book !
this is
only in hardcover so far, selling like hotcakes at my local Barnes and Noble.... totally unlike any man-woman book
I've read....
Can be longish and maybe tedious in spots if this isn't your main interest, still should be
widely read.... heck, IS being widely read...
The author is a 100% lesbian... never bi in her life if I read
this right, who is also a writer (a good one at that) that sets out to know what it is like to be a man in the
USA...
So she disguises herself as a man and goes to all man places, like a monestary, or gnarly sex joints,
high pressure sales jobs, and yes, tries to pick up girls using the standard moves, so she can find out what it is
like for a guy to pick up girls in a hetero environment, then she tries online dating (she concludes that the dating
scene really IS as f*cked up as they say...) as a "guy"....
The book is Self Made Man by Norah Vincent, cost
about $25 in US$ ..... blows a lot of that Cosmo "all about guys" articles
lightweight trash to sorry little
bits...
It's not perfect... just one dyke's take on our bonejumping customs... you might learn something
from it, you might hate it... depends...
Here is the answer
http://www.nomarriage.com/american.html.
A little extream
pehaps but a growing trend.
And no I don't find guys who are polite, gracious and attentive
"WIMPS".
Maybe the brain washing have crossed over the gender lines.
DCW
Sounds a bit bitter to me. Some
portion of that is probably reasonable but not all by any measure.
I wonder what the comparable list of male
demands is?
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
Balance the Yin with the Yang
The
combination of contrasts is what makes for an interesting personality.
A man, a woman, anybody who is only
one thing is tedious as hell to be around... their balancing factors have to come from external
sources...
Women who can be raunchy and opinionated when that is appropriate, or be polite and empathetic
when THAT'S called for, and know how to elegantly manage their behaviors are a blast to be around.
My
current GODDESS is the comedienne Kathy Griffin.... what an outrageous babe...!!!!! I am surfeited with
concupiscence and I want her ass too!
That women can get away with murder, the things that come out of her
mouth just blow my mind.... and then she's a sweeet innocent thing in the blink of an
eye......
http://www.kathygriffin.net/
Oh Lord give me a woman with a sense of humor like
that!
Yeah it's bitter I agree, but look
at the inflated divorce rate and yes some men are at fault.
As for a comparable list of male demads, its quite
simple.
1. A lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom.
DCW
That was
interesting! I couldn't tell what your tone was in that conversation. Like most women, if it was me I would've
ignored you if your tone was remotely creepy or rude. But if it was humor then you'd be in.
Tickle a
woman's sense of humor, and you're 90% of the way there.
Just curiosity here, but that conversation, was
it your "real" self, or was it a result of study and training
My tone was obviously
teasing. There is no way it could have been taken as anything but. She was laughing the whole time. She's a quality
woman, she's a partner in an interior design company as well as being very attractive. She would have blown me off
if I was rude.
It's the "real me" now. A year and half ago it wouldn't
it have been, but I've
integrated it and it's become the real me.
Let me ask you something. When you put on a sexy dress that
accentuates your curves , heels to accentuate your legs, makeup to accentuate your lips and make you eyes look
bigger, etc, to attract men, is that the real you?
Is that why she is in Divorce court?
Maybe her soon to
be EX hubby can shed some insight.
DCW
I figure men
are at fault about half the time. I certainly contributed to the issues that created my divorce. But, over all I
think its a societal problem in how we choose partners and how we regard our commitments.
Let's add a couple
more to the list.
2. Intelligent
3. Able to carry on a conversation in greater depth than the current hair or
clothing styles.
4. A mind of her own
5. Attractive to me
6. A good sense of humor
7. Honesty and integrity
8.
Likes the outdoors
9. Tolerates my pigheadedness
10. Doesn't take herself to seriously
11. Spends less time
putting on makeup than I spend showering, shaving and getting dressed.
12. Doesn't play dominance games
I'm
sure I could add more and it's likely you could too.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson
I don't think divorce is a matter of fault but a...but look at the
inflated divorce rate and yes some men are at fault.
matter of human nature. After all, marriage is an artificial social construct, the details of which vary greatly
across time and from culture to culture. Evolution did not design humans to mate for life nor be monogamous. Sure a
few can do it but they're the excepton rather than the rule.The same can be said of men. In fact, all sucessful humans manage theirWomen who can be raunchy and opinionated when
that is appropriate, or be polite and empathetic when THAT'S called for, and know how to elegantly manage their
behaviors are a blast to be around.
behaviors and persona for maximize sucess in life. You'll have serious problems if you're an ass or nice guy all
day everyday. You need to be able to turn it on and off at will as appropriate.
It seems like most of us are too stuck in one mode or another, mainly because we'reThe same can be said of
men. In fact, all sucessful humans manage their behaviors and persona for maximize sucess in life. You'll have
serious problems if you're an ass or nice guy all day everyday. You need to be able to turn it on and off at will
as appropriate.
plugged into narrow contexts of work, family, necessary crap when we'd rather be elsewhere.... major behavioral
flexibility is a bigtime skill, the bigtime players defintely have it in corporate land, media land, any place
personal and political chops intersect... to us peons they just look phony, to their own thinking they're just
being skillfully adaptive.
I would definitely say no. Which is why I'm not much
into all that stuff. Maybe I'm odd, but I feel like that's cheating. Look at celebrities. They more gorgeous they
are the harder they fall when "stripped" of their makeup. I find natural makeup-less women much more beautiful.
But I guess that begs the question of what's real? Like how you integrated the new approach to make it your "real
you", would a woman be considered real if she integrated all that stuff into her daily life?
Interesting stuff.
I guess it depends on how you view the world.
Dude! I was the first in line to get that book when it came out.
Definitely one of the most thought-provoking ones I've come across in regards to gender realtions.
I still
haven't gotten to finishing it yet, but I'm very excited about the stuff coming from it. I've been spouting about
it to everyone I know!
Everybody does it at one level or another. It's really not phony if you'remajor behavioral
flexibility is a bigtime skill, the bigtime players defintely have it in corporate land, media land, any place
personal and political chops intersect... to us peons they just look phony, to their own thinking they're just
being skillfully adaptive.
sincere. Most folks behave differently infront of their children, friends, boss or lover. Think about the odd
behaviors we exhibit infront of the police officers or lawyers. It's called behaving appropriately for any given
situation. Those that lack these skills have trouble in life. Those that demonstrate unusual skills in this area get
along with all sorts of people, opening a world of experience most others miss.
Skills, Drills, Chill Pills
generally I see that people are contextually skillful in their life slots... what they define as their life slot or
even their "self" is really a function of their skill set... the problem that we typically face is that our limited
slot is also our comfort zone... to step outside of that means learning to function well in a state of discomfort.
Interesting/cool/attractive people, to me at least, have a greater capacity to be uncomfortable, possibly
they don't perceive being emotionally uncomfortable as a threat to their identity or sense of self...
Which
is useful, because the discomfort zone is also the green growth shoot of the mind. Sometimes you might have this
unsettling experience when you approach someone who is a little ahead of you in their life slot, and you're
accelerating, they're just maintaining a constant velocity, and for a while you're up to speed in their slot, then
you find yourself still growing past their slot, and there's this strange feeling of what was once familiar
becoming unfamiliar again, departing the old familiar galaxy with all of its' rituals...
Thank you, I knew there were some real players
who can tell it like it is.
Gegogi is right to say that men
and women were not designed to be monogomous.Marriage is largely a social construct designed to protect cultural
haritage and also to insure that offspring are not neglected and cast off.In more difficult times,couples needed the
support that was offered each by the other.Children needed the protection offered by a stable family unit until they
were old enough to take care of themselves.The larger "village" unit often kicked in to help and scociety was
born.In this day and age,men and women can more or less take care of themselves and thus...when the going gets
tough,the tough leave town.Alot of the sense of scocial seperation that many city dwellers have is the result of the
fact that the other folks in your neighborhood realy dont need anything from you and you dont need them.
In
other countries where life is still a chalenge,the rules are very different.
"The wages of sin is death.But after taxes it's just sort of a tired feeling realy." -Ellen DeGeneres
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks