Originally Posted by
So
Confused
Any and all responses in regards to this post are welcome, but I'd be especially grateful to get
Friendly1's insights. Sorry it's so long, but I want to be thorough so I can get the best feedback.
In
continuing with questions of body language signals, I figured it'd be best to insert this here, rather than
starting a whole new thread. First off, here's my situation: I am a pretty big guy (6'0, 248 lb. bodybuilder with
20 1/4 inch arms and a 34 inch waist- yes, natural). Due to this, whenever I tend to get into a new crowd, I'm
perceived to be as more an alpha male for sure. But anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm one of the most shy
and unassertive guys you'll ever meet. I've never even approached a gal up until recently, as all through my
school years the gals would come after me.... and I still do more than alright to this regard today. However, there
are very few gals who I develop interest in (this current gal is the first one I've liked in over a YEAR!!!), and
act very differently around the ones that I DO like (get nervous, tongue-tied, get caught looking and turn away in
embarrassment, seem (and am in fact) very unconfident....) I know that I have to change all of this, and am working
on it, but my upcoming question centers around how to interpret my current situation with a certain gal.
From
the moment I first met this gal just over two months ago I felt that something special (more than a physical
attraction). I am a personal trainer, and she goes to the gym I work out of, so I get to see her @4 days a week.
After a few days of friendly chatter (come to find out her mother was my teacher for 6 years, and I was her favorite
student... so much so that she sent me away to college with a present lol) I got up the nerve to start talking with
her more openly. Over time we started emailing every few days, and we'd still chat for about 20 minutes or so a few
times a week in the gym. This gal writes articles for dating mags, so she's constantly reading up on "the game"
that the dating scene has become. In the latest one, she writes about how to avoid wasting time dating; and part of
it basically concludes that gals should stop wasting their time with the bad boy types. To me, this was a VERY good
sign, as in talking with her she knows that I'm certainly a relationship-only guy. But yet every guy she's
mentioned dating when it comes up in our conversations is just that... one of the bad boys who gals in the teen-mid
20s range try to "tame."
Anyways, I've asked her to casually hang out three different times now, two of
which were absolutely last minute and she'd already had plans. The third time she also had a legitimate excuse, as
though I asked five days or so in advance she had plans to go to her alma mater for alumni weekend. So I couldn't
really tell based on these situations if she was really interested. Now in terms of everything I observed in our
time spent together at the gym, I was nearly certain that there was a lot of interest on her part too. From about 4
days or so after I first met her up as recently as this past Thrusday, I will catch her staring at me both directly
and through the many mirrors in the facility; a good dozen times a day at least. And she, of course, catches me just
as frequently. I cuaght her in a slip-up one day where she came into the gym and let it slip that she'd been
talking with her mother about me (got all flustered and had to look down). She'd actually even gotten to the point
where she'd move herself into an accessible area when she'd see me come into the gym (this gal is a BIG believer
in the male having to be the aggressor). She also took an angle I was using to the next level and suggested that we
start training together (I had "jokingly" brought it up that she could be my relationship counselor and I'd be her
trainer). The two times we "worked" together took up a combined 6 HOURS, most of which was spent flirting (TONS of
laughter, lots of positive compliments to one another, some touching... and her eye contact was RIDICULOUS!!!) I had
to keep reminding her after 1/2 hour or so of just chatting that we had to keep moving!
So you'd think she
was into me too, right? Well, THIS is where my question comes in. I got an email from her in response to one I sent
her, and it didn't go so well. I "disguised" it as my going to her for her "relationship therapist" advice, but
really just described our situation to her without putting her name in there, and asked her how I should take it
all. She wrote back saying that if I'd wanted to hang out with her I should have asked for her phone number instead
of being so evasive, that I'd basically stumbled into the "friend" ladder and that she wasn't romantically
interested. I got the dreaded "you're such a nice guy," she sincerely wants to be my friend, and keep training with
me. I, of course, have avoided her for the past week since this happened lol. So.....
1) How in the world could I
have gotten all of those seemingly obvious signals from her and yet she's not interested? Is she playing hard to
get, or is that just a pretty polite way of telling me to give up?
2) Like I said, I don't tend to like many
gals. I get to know them in a social setting before I'll ever consider dating them. I have never felt so much of a
connection with a gal before, and don't want to give up on this one. That's why I'm here. I want to buy a product
that'll help me, along with forcing myself to not be so shy, to get her romantically interested. I spent about 10
hours over the past few days reading through parts of this forum, and from what I've gathered, the Chikara/NPA
combo seems to work wonders. But I have to watch out and make sure I get something that compliments what I naturally
put out there. In terms of what I'd wear out with people who don't know me I'd think I shouldn't wear the -none
containing products, which could make me more intimidating. BUT I don't care about that. I'm literally only buying
this with the intention of getting this girl to see me as more than a friend. She already knows me to be a really
shy, moral and kind person, but she seems to still be into the bad boy types (going completely against what her
article advises). So does this mean I SHOULD buy a -none containing product so she'll think I'm more macho? Plus,
there was a new thread on here this morning about studies showing that -nol and not -none had the most positive
effects on gals. What should I try? If at all possible, I'd like to go with a standalone first, as I've never used
this stuff and would be afraid I'd mess up in mixing a bunch of things when just getting started. So far I'm
thinking maybe Chikara by itself?
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and any and all feedback is
GREATLY appreciated.
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