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Thread: Got Game?

  1. #1
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    Default Got Game?

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    So now I have the

    pheromones and believe they work. Next I'll have to figure out how to play the game.

    Besides practice what

    would you recommend for working on "game". Have you found any ingenious source of information about what to say to

    an average girl in the first 3 minutes of conversation. After 3 minutes I am fine but getting past that mark without

    extreme awkwardness has always been my problem. In that first three minutes you have nearly no common ground without

    talking about the weather How I hate the weather conversation.

    In my downtime I think of really interesting

    questions to ask a girl after I approach them. Works somewhat on weeding out the girls that would bore the crap out

    of me. Usually it is something metaphorical like I was wondering what kind of flower you are. If they look at me

    like I am from mars I probably wouldnt like to have a long conversation with them. If they say rose then they are

    probably boring. Tulips are sweet and generous, orchids are hot stuff. Dasies are people pleasers. Those are the

    only assumptions that I have made so far.

    Has any one figured out any decent memorable approaches?

  2. #2
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    I used to make obscure jokes.

    If they got the joke they had something in their head beside cotton balls and were worth the time to persue further.

    Usually they appreciated it too, if they got the joke. It told them I wasn't the average clown either and that

    there were one or two thoughts running through my head. It started things off in a better frame. If she didn't get

    the joke, it was time to leave. If she responded with a better one she was well worth the time.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  3. #3
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    belgareth That is a great Idea... I'll have to

    start remembering a few jokes.

  4. #4
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Honestly, I think that's the

    biggest single mistake males make. They are too danged serious about the game. It's no more than a game so have

    some fun with it. For me, one of my greatest pleasures (with my clothes on) is seeing how a woman's face lights up

    when she is really amused and happy. So I go out of my way to amuse women and have a lot of fun doing it. Despite my

    persona on the forum I laugh and joke almost all the time in person. Partially it's because I am happy and

    partially it's because I enjoy seeing other people laugh and partially just because I'm a smart a$$. The world is

    a very funnny place if you have a good sense for the ridiculous.

    All that aside, if you can make a woman laugh

    and keep it light and you have the other things, decent appearance, good manners, self confidence and mones, you

    can't hardly lose.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Women, more often than not, like to

    laugh and want a guy that makes them laugh. Just make her laugh. She'll come back for more.

  6. #6
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    It is true that it helps to

    lighten up, tease a little, crack a few jokes and have a good time.

    If I can make it past the 3 minute mark, I

    have no problem, dead air is very uncomfortable for both parties when you first aproach a new girl. I find that if

    i aproach with purpose and break the ice I often do better. Maybe it takes the attention away from my average looks

    and puts focus on personality which seems to be almost more important than looks. It seems any guy that is above a

    5.5 out of 10 can hook up with a girl of any quality looks. He just has to prove himself worthwhile. I am enjoying

    my new hobby (coming out of my shell) talking to every person I interact with in a given day. Good practice, male or

    female.

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    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    My problem is I'm trimming over

    with things to say. Pick a topic and I can go with it. I learned long ago you must first intrigue and entice her,

    and then let her talk about herself. Women love to talk about themselves, and they love it even more if you actually

    listen. The trick is to keep a balance of interchange so you actually have a conversation and not a sideshow or

    lecture.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  8. #8
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gegogi
    My problem is

    I'm trimming over with things to say. Pick a topic and I can go with it. I learned long ago you must first intrigue

    and entice her, and then let her talk about herself. Women love to talk about themselves, and they love it even more

    if you actually listen. The trick is to keep a balance of interchange so you actually have a conversation and not a

    sideshow or lecture.
    That is really good advice. I need to learn when to shut up and ask questions but,

    since I have no common ground to start with It tends to be difficult to figure out what to ask them in those first 3

    minutes. Some time can be wasted with asking for the name and doing the traditional handshake name exchange

    (boring). If anyone has any good light hearted questions to ask in the first 3mins of conversation. I would love to

    hear them. That is one of the reasons for my flower question. It is open ended, bizare and memorable.

  9. #9
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    I guess the reason I am

    looking for this information is when I am on the aproach, I am nervous, This translates to an appearance of low

    confidence. It is not the girl that i am very nervous about it is possibility of awkwardness that I fear. Regardless

    of the source of my anxeity, I will still stink of fear. That is one of the reasons that I am working on good

    openings, first impressions, Conversation starters. I believe once I have a few things already made up before the

    aproach, when I go blank instead of panic I could pull out a few trusty questions, statements, lies and keep the

    air of confidence instead of the stink of fear. Eventually with practice these things wont be important but when

    learning to swim it is nice to have floaties.

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    If you're freezing up on your

    approach - the force yourself to do it - hundereds of times. The first time, you will fall flat on your face, the

    5th time - not so hard. By the 100th time, it will be second nature. Just keep at it - over and over again.

  11. #11
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    I have Monopoly, that's

    about it.

    Game eludes me. Forcing anything eludes me. C&F....I don't know how people can do that with a

    straight face (as it were).

    I occasionally make obscure jokes (like belgareth), but that's really who I am.

    And it doesn't always work the way it's supposed to, anyway, when you're not Robin Williams or you're not

    preaching to the converted.

    I agree with bel that these things are often approached way too seriously and

    even clinically. This is just life and they're just people.

    Genuine laughter (with you, of course) is

    always the best outcome you can hope for, IMO. It bonds stronger than Krazy Glue - and it can get you both just as

    high.

    Balance of interchange is crucial, too. Anyone with basic social skills should know that, but it's

    truly astounding how many don't.

    "Be yourself, no matter what they say..."

    Blah blah blah.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  12. #12
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    People often make hellos out

    to be too complicated.

    With the kind of woman I "target" (remember, I advocate tailoring your approach to the

    kinds of people appropriate for you
    , not all women. This makes it easier to "close", among other benefits), they

    will be able to tell by the time I say "Hi" that I'm a sincere gentleman who wants to treat them like a real,

    normal, healthy person.

    The way I do it, it is not a game. It is a normal, real human interaction; an

    introduction.

    I recommend enjoying yourself with your small talk. If you are having fun, and enjoying meeting

    someone, they will too. But I'd recommend making it small, simple pleasures; rather than going for something

    unrealistic and/or greedy/wanton.

    It's the way you say it; not what you say. I'm humble on the outside

    and confident on the inside. I'm consistent in being who I am; in acting in a way I believe in. I keep it simple,

    unless something occurs to me about the moment you both are in.

    I trust it will be attractive and let it happen,

    as opposed to trying to make it happen.

    Whoever you are will emerge, according to your life experiences.

    I

    do mostly avoid talking about myself unless they ask me -- that's their job, if they're socially skilled

    themselves.

    I got a hug and kiss on the cheek tonight from someone I had just met with this approach. It won't

    go anywhere, because she has a boyfriend; but it did indicate that whatever I did worked.
    Last edited by DrSmellThis; 01-10-2006 at 10:55 AM.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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    Being friendly and injecting

    humor into her otherwise boring day has always worked well for me.Being bold and and funny and expressing confidence

    that,while Im flirting with you,that doesnt mean Im desperate.Delivery has alot to do with it.And thats probably the

    toughest part to learn.And its also hard to clearly define whithout launching into a multi page post about the

    subject.Learning to read your target and determine weather or not she will respond well is important too.If you run

    into a woman that has obviously had a tough day,trying to be funny and sympethetic works well.If she is a in a good

    mood,funny and teasing works well.Testing them by treating them sorta like a little sister...not

    condecendingly...just playfuly,works well if they are in a good mood.

    Belgareth makes a very good point too in

    that using humor and references that weed out the ones with...and I love this statement...cotton balls in thier

    heads in place of brains is an important aspect of successful flirting.Girls who have alot going on up stairs (thier

    brains not thier chest,look higher,) tend to be alot more fun to flirt with because they have "game" too.They have

    the inteligence and the wit to banter back and forth with you and can present a mental and intelectual chalenge that

    makes flirting fun.Flirting was meant to be fun and entertaining and if your both good at it,things tend to progress

    quite nicely.But that requires brains on YOUR part and hers.


    The whole concept is frankly kinda complicated

    and difficult to clearly define and explain,but the best thing to do is practice.Learn not to hold your ego and

    masculinity too sacred,because in the learning process there will be plenty of opportunity to get your masculinity

    handed to you on a stick.If you can blow off getting shot down and learn from it rather than being bitter about

    it,you will learn alot about flirting.Flirting is a scocial process that we use to asses the intelect and

    personality of the other person.Getting shot down doesnt mean you are inferior or weak or a poor choice for a

    mate...its womans way of educating you that you need to be a man and learn how to take control and be a leader.Women

    like leaders and men who have a grip on things intelectualy.They have a tough time with over sensative whimps who

    cave at the first sign of conflict.Being with a woman requires a strong person with goals and convictions and

    strength of character and those are the things that a woman will try to determine in the opening phases of a

    relationship.Starting with flirting.

    Editors note: This is based purely on supposition and assumption generated

    from observing results in my own experience and probably has no basis in reality.

  14. #14
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    Perhaps one of the problems

    is that I really need new hunting grounds. Clubs thumping with hip-hop music dont seem conducive to witty

    conversation. I just heard about a swing dancing class. Sounds like a great place to meet fun women. My town seems

    male heavy so just figuring out where semi-attractive girls can be found has proven quite difficult. When attractive

    women are around they are nearly always with a guy or two. That may be one of the reasons that I haven't developed

    "great" skills with women. Another hunting ground that I have yet to explore is the local colleges. They have all

    sorts of art galleries and shows. College libraries also sound like they rock. Unfortunately if I were to pick up

    any classes I would have to pay out of state tuition.

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    Classes are a good way to meet

    women.As are various community events and voulunteer work.One way to work on your game is to "lightly" flirt ith

    retail employees.Understand that in this venue you will be required to develop skills that are rather subtle and

    more along the lines of "hit and run" rather than "engage and hold."These girls get hit on many times a day by

    everyone from brad pit to the guy with the trench coat and the evil smirk.Its a great way to learn how to seperate

    yourself out from the typical drive by flirt and learn how to realy get a womans attention through wit,charm and

    inteligence.These hunting grounds require great skill and finess to be successful and not come off looking like a

    jerk.

    Understand that you will be dealing with a person that would rather be almost anywhere else doing almost

    anything else and who has little time for a guy with a pathetic approach.On the plus side,learning how to sneak up

    on them is a very chalenging and educational venture that,if you devlope it properly,will help you to learn how to

    approach women on the street,in the shopping mall,on the bus,at the DMV,at the doctors office,in line at the

    supermarket,at a funeral...what ever.Also understand that the odds of ever actualy getting any milage with women

    working in a retail setting beyond just a flirt is about the same as winning the lottory...twice!But its fun and

    educational.Also,you might try using the personals on the internet.I have met many women using things like yahoo

    personals and match.com.

    In this venue,your wit and inteligence has to come out in your writing skills which

    makes things alittle more difficult.But if you can make contact with someone,once things transition to phone

    conversations you can work on your flirting abilities there.Altho its a weak substitute for actual approaching women

    face to face,it may help you to develop some aspects of your game like humor and charm.

  16. #16
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Hey Tim, How'd you know about

    me and my trench coat?

    It's really hard to tell you the difference between flirting and simply having a good

    time with the people you meet everyday. Tim is right about the clerk in the store, she probably doesn't want to be

    there and has likely been hit on by a dozen clowns already and been yelled at by several others. Come across as just

    a pleasant person who is being nice and make her smile. You'll get lots of mileage out of a mild joke and a good

    attitude. Do it all the time and with everybody you meet and you'll find that very often the next time you walk in

    you'll get a welcome smile. You've already broken the ice, now keep it up and you'll make progress.

    College

    campuses are a great place to meet women. Take just one class in something you are interested in. It will give you a

    reason to be on campus and a chance to meet lots of bright women with good futures. I met both my current and past

    wife on campus as well as more than half the women I've dated in my life. Just remember to follow Tim's advice and

    put your ego in your back pocket and leave it there. A lot of these women are going to be smart and most don't like

    a male to start their macho routine. Be a man but a gentleman, not a neandrathal.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Hey Tim, How'd you know

    about me and my trench coat?

    I read the article in the paper

    good point you made bel

    about being rather soft spirited in the approach with women in retail.And the other good point you made was that

    uppon returning another time,if you have made a solid impression,you will find that you recieve a much nicer

    welcome.I have done this many times and have never regreted it.At a local resturaunt that I eat at once or twice a

    week,the waitresses all know me and actualy like having me in thier section because they know that I am laid back

    and an easy customer.They will even hook me up with freebies like pie or cake thats laying around in the back.I

    never get charged for the extras like ranch dressing or tartar suace and they are always as nice as can

    be.Unfortunatly they are all married or damn close to it.

    But developing that takes time and a fair amout of

    skill in the hunt.Sort of like commanding a U-Boat.Patience will give you the opportunity to develop the skill.

  18. #18
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tim929
    I read the

    article in the paper
    Pictures too? Damn! If I'd of known that he had pictures

    I'd have bribed the reporter. What are my wives going to think?

    Sounds like you do it the same way I do. It

    works pretty well, doesn't it? It doesn't really take any time because I'm going to be those places anywhere so

    there's no time invested.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Thats the beauty of going

    places...if your there anyway,you might as well seize the opportunity to flirt with passing young cuties.I once vene

    flirted with a girl while in line at the DMV.But finess realy helps and its through flirting that one learns what

    finess is and how to apply it properly.Sorta like learning to throw a curve ball.

  20. #20
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    Here are some suggestions for

    you.

    1. Never shake hands with a woman you want to be more than friends with when you meet her, if you can help

    it. Anything but that. Kiss her hand, whatever - just not handshaking. That sends the "let's just be friends"

    message. That's why I make it a point to ALWAYS shake hads with any woman I approach with the intent of asking her

    if she'd be interested in modeling. It says, "I'm not hitting on you."

    2. College libraries do rock. Hotties

    left and right. And the great thing is... you don't have to be a student to wander in and hang out. Really! Just

    walk in like you own the place. There will be some services that require student ID, but libraries are freely

    accessible, as are cafeterias, campus bookstores, and breezeways. Even if I was to drop out right now, I could

    still go have all the chances for hotties I wanted at my college.

    Don't limit yourself unnecessarily.

  21. #21
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    LOL...yeah...shaking hands is

    right up there with asking her if she wants to change long distance carriers or to purchase suplimental life

    insurance.

  22. #22
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    The swing dance class I

    attended last night rocked. I was terrible but had a lot of fun screwing up. It was the best place I have tested my

    pheromones so far. Every 2 minutes you switch partners so you have a new person in your pheromone range every 2

    mins. I think I need to be careful over my NPA the old ladies were enthralled and one of the younger women went into

    bitch mode on me for being so bad at dancing. BTW how do you "dab" NPA. Overall it is not a great new hunting ground

    but it is a great new social environment.

  23. #23
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    If you're a beginner, how can

    they get an attitude because you can't dance well yet? That's ridiculous.

    I'm going to start taking dance

    lessons as soon as I can afford it, and anyone gives me a hard time for being clueless is going to get raspberries.


  24. #24
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    Something you might want to try

    is tempering the NPA with some SoE.Its a very social mix and if used proprly can be very sexual as well.And it also

    helps dull the edge of NPA so that you are less likely to get nasty reactions.Another thing is that if you wear too

    much NPA to a dance class you might end up going home with someones grandmother.Older women seem to respond well to

    NONE.Or egt your head handed to you by a woman with PMS.

  25. #25
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    Question dance class

    Quote Originally Posted by luxveritas
    The swing dance class I attended last night rocked. I was terrible but had a lot of fun screwing

    up. It was the best place I have tested my pheromones so far. Every 2 minutes you switch partners so you have a new

    person in your pheromone range every 2 mins. I think I need to be careful over my NPA the old ladies were enthralled

    and one of the younger women went into bitch mode on me for being so bad at dancing. BTW how do you "dab" NPA.

    Overall it is not a great new hunting ground but it is a great new social environment.
    hello

    luxveritas.

    it's a great social environment, but have you found any way to close in the time you have? i

    find everybody (at least in beginner's class) is focused on learning the steps and so there isn't so much time for

    chit-chat. if you hang around for the later free-style session perhaps it becomes easier to dance with the girl you

    like and talk to her then.

  26. #26
    Full Member luxveritas's Avatar
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    The class is in a local

    tavern so after the class some people decide to stay for a drink. This makes it a good place to meet people. I am

    not a great closer. That is the weakest part of my already mediocre to poor skills. Also, only 6-8 women in the

    class iseem to be free agents and only maybe 2 of those are up to my standard and age bracket. It is not a great

    hunting ground but it is a lot of fun. Right after the beginners class the advanced class starts, after it is over

    in an hour there is free dance. I stayed and talked to one of the girls that was solo and up to my standard but It

    was my first lesson (embarassing) and I wasn't in the most social mood. I'll probably see her again when I am more

    social.

  27. #27
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by luxveritas
    The class is

    in a local tavern so after the class some people decide to stay for a drink. This makes it a good place to meet

    people. I am not a great closer. That is the weakest part of my already mediocre to poor skills. Also, only 6-8

    women in the class iseem to be free agents and only maybe 2 of those are up to my standard and age bracket. It is

    not a great hunting ground but it is a lot of fun. Right after the beginners class the advanced class starts, after

    it is over in an hour there is free dance. I stayed and talked to one of the girls that was solo and up to my

    standard but It was my first lesson (embarassing) and I wasn't in the most social mood. I'll probably see her

    again when I am more social.
    closing is probly the easiest part once you have her interest. usually

    it's pretty easy to invite her to some specific event she has pretty much already implied she would be interested

    in - or failing that to drinks on some specific occasions. you're not 'asking her out' so no big deal if she

    says no. it's breaking the ice and creating the rapport that I find hardest...

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    Closing is very simple. Once

    you've read she is interested, then ask her for her number.

    ". . . Janine, what's your

    number?"

    these things come in levels and stages. She must first telegraph her interest - then close with a

    method to keep in touch with her.

    Then use this method to get in touch with her and meet her later. Don't

    use this as an excuse to banter online or on the phone for hours - that is counterproductive, unless you just want a

    friend. One step at a time.

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    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    1. Never shake hands with

    a woman you want to be more than friends with when you meet her, if you can help it. Anything but that. Kiss her

    hand, whatever - just not handshaking. That sends the "let's just be friends" message. That's why I make it a

    point to ALWAYS shake hads with any woman I approach with the intent of asking her if she'd be interested in

    modeling. It says, "I'm not hitting on you."
    There are few absolutes in life and everything depends on

    the situation and the vibes you send out. I've been formally introduced to women at conferences, they shook my hand

    and we ended up drinking and rolling around in our hotel rooms later. Now I knew as soon as we touched and our eyes

    locked there was attraction. Shaking hands actually intensified the feeling.

    Also, many of my female students

    introduce themselves with a handshake and are not shy about coming on to me later. A handshake is just a handshake

    but I sometimes wonder if it's merely an excuse to touch you. Nevertheless when you feel electricity and catch a

    twinkle in her eyes it means "I want to check you out" or maybe "I want to bear your children." The handshake is

    often just a lame way of connecting with you. I prefer a hug...
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    For a bit on the original

    question:

    Experience experience experience! It takes time. One small step at a time.

    Do what some of the

    other guys said. Practice on the store clerks etc. Just to get the hang of it.

    One way to avoid the "dead spots"

    after three minutes is to find a way to walk away for a little while after two minutes... Go to the washroom, get a

    snack, a drink, say you have to say hi to a friend, something. You've made the initial intro step and hopefully

    broken the first layer of ice. This gives you a moment to think of more to say. Flit around a bit. After a while

    you'll get an idea of what works, what doesn't, and how to proceed, etc.

    Also remember that everyone is

    different. Someone's day may have been good, may have been rotten - and their mood *at that moment* will be

    affected. Try again later. An approach that works for one person may not work on another. Don't be to "formula."

    Don't look for lines to memorize (unless they are really *great* lines...). There are lots of fish in the sea. If

    you stike out with one, or two, or three.. try another. After all you want one that works for *you.* Don't waste

    time working on the cotton-balls.

    Just a few quick thoughts.
    The opposite of love isn't hate.
    It's apathy
    .

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