Help me ask her out

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I have a little problem.... same problem.

This is about the gal i was talking about in the topic \"My Attraction+AE Result\". I was finally ready to ask her out but the only time we meet is when i go to their office to fix their computer. So i was there yesterday and all prepared to tell her that she seems nice and that i want to date her but i didn\'t do it. Why? Because her other co-workers took the day off and she\'s so pressured because her boss is all over her shoulders giving commands. But above all these, she still manages to look at me and smile very eagerly although i know she\'s not having a good day. i asked her what\'s the matter and she looked at her boss and rolled her eyes so i just shut up and never bothered her again.

My problem is, now im ready to tell her, how do i? i can\'t just show up there w/o any reason nor call their office and ask for a date. Is it ok to send her a letter? But how do i ask for a date through letter? [img]images/icons/crazy.gif[/img]

The only reason im in a hurry is because i want to invite her to a Creed concert on Jan. 16 but i want it to be the 2nd date. So i have to get a date within the 1st week of January.

HELP ME GUYS... PLZ! [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]
I need a lot of suggestions pls?!!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

First off you like Creed so that shows good taste. I think that\'ll help. As for the date ask her out for New Years. It makes sense. Just go on over there and ask her out. Or do it next time you go to fix the computer. Or write her a note. The note seems smarter in this situation. Know what I mean?

I had to take that step recently and it may lead to a date on New Years Eve. Who knows. [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thanks Jambat! Do u like Creed too? Yeah if i decide to just show up in their office, i might use the dialog: \"I just want to start the New Year by doing one right thing. I\'d like to ask you out for a date.\" .... or something like that. what do u think?

btw, what did u write in the note?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Sounds like the perfect cover (new years) i might just do that with some girl i know ask her out for new years in the spirit of the season. Its summer here in australia and its hot and its great weather (ha ha to the northern hemisphere) lol sorry everyone.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thanks DD,

I\'ve been working with this girl for about 2 yrs. now but as i\'ve said before i only see her at least once a month because of the nature of my work. I never flirted with her it was all pure work but after i used pheromones on her, she started to do things to me that make me attracted to her too. I want her to be looking at my eyes while I\'m asking her out because I wanna see what her reaction will be. Can anyone give me a nice line to say? PLS???

[**DONOTDELETE**]

HEy Red;

Well Creed kicks proverbial ass. And actually you may have missed out on a great opportunity for asking her out. When she was so stressed it would have been a great opening for you \"THE HERO\". Like a hey let me take you out (or whatever your rap is) so you can be stressless etc. Work the situation to your advantage.

TCO

[proteus]

My suggestion FWIW is instead of putting too much pressure on her by asking her out for a \"date\", just ask her sometime when you\'re over there to help her fix the computer if she\'d like to go out to lunch sometime. Way I\'d go about it is when you next go over there as you work on the computer chat with her and then like an off-thought say hey would you like to join me for lunch or something like that. If she\'s interested in you she\'ll say yes. Then get to know her over lunch and take things from there. Used this approach at work in the past and as long as she already knows you, likes/or is interested in you she will say yes and even if it\'s not the same day she will go with you sometime. My problem has always been approaching ladies when I\'m out like in clubs etc. where I don\'t know the lady I\'m interested in and have never seen her before which is why I\'m using pheros.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

TCO,
I was thinking about what u said and I realized i missed one great opportunity. Yeah I could have been the hero and that earns me a lot of points. I\'ll remember that from you coz i know i\'ll be able to use that in the future.

Proteus,
You know what? Ur a clever guy! That\'s lesser pressure on my part and a little different from the other styles too [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
I\'ll go there on Monday and try to do that.

[jose]

(smile)\"listen I know you\'re probably busy right now but, I would really like to take you out to dinner and a movie,give me your number and I\'ll call you.\" Once you get the number don\'t have a long conversation on the phone just make the date,be on for exactly three minutes. Then if all goes well on the first date then you can ask her out for the creed concert. She probably has plans for New Year\'s Eve and it will be short notice of you asking her out for that day.
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You\'re right Jose, probably she\'s already made plans for the new year\'s.
Dammit, i should have asked her when i was there, now the longer i wait, im having 2nd thoughts again. How do u guys keep ur balls together? [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Well for me its easy [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] because i usually have a dozen women in the background runnign around trying to get my attention. Giggles etc its really quite itneresting, so i just ask on the quite do they want to get together sometime or make a particular 3 day period when you could get together for a movie coffee something to eat or whatever ( you could ask for straight sex - although in the work enviroment i wouldnt) actually ignore that last bit of advice.

The other thing is fastsedution no theres an idea. Just make it low key and when you meet up and have talked for a while then make youre move.

[jose]

Dude don\'t be afraid, and do it already. I just told you what to say, it gets easier after you say it a few times. See her first thing on Monday(if you can),as long as she doesn\'t give you an excuse about not giving you her number you\'re going to be okay. A woman with high interest level in you won\'t hesitate to give you her number.

Step 1.
Smile say \"thank you\" and then walk away.
Step 2. Call her on Wednesday or Thursday for the date so that you don\'t look desperate.(call after 3 days rule)Don\'t have a long conversation on the phone save it for the date.(exactly 3 minutes) Next thing you know you\'ll be her friend instead of a potential boyfriend.
Step 3. On the date don\'t talk about your ex girlfriends or stupid things you\'ve done in the past. Also don\'t start throwing complements every five minutes about her looks. No talking about sex of any kind it will properly turn her off.
Step 4. Make sure she does most of the talking, try to find everything out about her, family, hobbies,what ever. It will show her your interested in her life and that your listening. Make her laugh if you know any good clean jokes or stories.
Step 5.Don\'t try to make a move until the end of the date, try to kiss her good night. (I personally think your going to chicken out on this one.) A woman will kiss you if you\'re attractive to her, if she pulls away save it for the second date. I\'m not talking about a make out session just a nice kiss on the lips. So here are my tips for a successful first date,after that your on your own.

Remember wear your Pheromones, it will give you a bit of an edge, but don\'t overdose.
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg

[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: jose ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

jose,

thanks man! big boost! just wondering, have u ever asked a girl and she happened to say that she has a boyfriend? what did u do? were u still able to date her? or if not, how did u back out without feeling embarrassed that u asked?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Uh, you say ...

\"Oh, okay. My bad.\"
And she\'ll say \"It\'s okay, but thanks.\"
And you say, \"So been up?\"

And she\'ll either tell you about her life or go into some mindless chatter, either way it quicky switches from the fact you just asked her out to something else without you looking like a gimp. Check that out. Then they\'ll call you Redcapp a.k.a Big Pimp.

(Okay they probably won\'t call you big pimp but atleast you won\'t look like a goof but I\'m sure she\'d be flattered. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] ) Plus if they break up she\'ll know where to find her rebound boyfriend. Which is when you say. \"Uh maybe you should wait awhile, because I don\'t want to be your rebound boyfriend.\"

This makes her want you more because now you\'re just a little out of reach.

See how that works, now aren\'t you all happy I use my powers for good?
[img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: jambat ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Lol Jambat! (Big Pimp) [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

Yeah so i have to switch it to another topic right away huh. nice move!
this is how im gonna proceed on monday, since i have no business to be in their office, im planning to call her and tell her to go outside the office where i\'d be standing. then i\'ll tell her i wanna take her out sometime and ask for the number. i don\'t know it just don\'t sound right to me. anybody has another way to do it if you were in my shoes?
or should i ask her first if she has a boyfriend?

[jose]

Don\'t call her see her in person, if she says she has a boyfriend say- \"oh.... I should have guessed, he\'s a very lucky guy.\" \"Well I have to get back to work, I still would like your phone number maybe we can just hang out and just be friends.\" Remember she\'s not married.
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m with Jose. You should go in there and do it in person. You\'ll win more points with her that way. Even if she has a boyfriend, she\'ll be flattered that you asked, so there\'s nothing to be embarrassed about. I can be shy when it comes to asking girls out, but I force myself to do it or put myself in the situation where I have to go through with it. I\'ve asked out a girl in a sandwich shop before that was packed with people. One of the guys that worked there later told me that she was really impressed by that. Life\'s too short to let fear of rejection make your decisions for you. Go for it. We\'ll all be cheering you on.

[jose]

I would avoid asking her out in front of a bunch of people if at all possible,that\'s like putting her on the spot. If that situation happens tell her you would like to talk to her privately,and can we go out in the hallway or another office. I would really try to get her along if you can,but it\'s better to meet her at her desk.

[ December 30, 2001: Message edited by: jose ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

the time is near and im trying to gather some memories that can make me more confident for tomorrow. i remember when i was there about lunch time she came to me with two different kinds of candy bar and she made me choose between the two. i told her what she would choose for me and that i would take it. do you think i have a good chance?

hey guys tell me if the above post is the right way for me to go tomorrow. plz?!

[jose]

I would go up to her office or cubicle and tell her in person instead of calling to tell her to come down in front of the building. As long as there\'s no one hovering around her and she\'s alone. There\'s no use thinking about memories the only way your going to find out is if you ask.
http://home.earthlink.net/~joselg

[proteus]

I agree with the above. Don\'t call her out of the building or any stuff like that - just go to where she is and ask her out. And don\'t overthink this either - she knows you a little so just relax. I used to overthink things (I think on one of the seduction advice sites they refer to this as \"paralysis of analysis\" - overthinking till you end up either wimping out or freezing up when you do see her). Just relax, ask her to lunch or dinner or whatever but go with the approach that you feel you can do and just do it. In fact my guess is she probably already knows you are interested in her and if you wait too long she\'ll figure you\'ll never ask and will lose any little interest she has.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

sorry i must have caused confusion. i didn\'t mean to ask her over the phone. what i want to do is go there tomorrow morning but i will call her to ask her to come out for one minute so i can talk to her privately. then i\'ll take everything from there. will this work?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Guys,

I appreciate all your help on this one, im telling you, it could have been a lot easier but im in a new situation right now.

I went to their office pretending I need to upgrade something and I was confident enough that I\'ll be able to go home with that magic numbers in my wallet.

But it didn\'t turn out as I\'ve planned. This is how it went before I went home:

She asked me if I\'m going downtown this New Year\'s Eve for the Peach Drop (Im from Atlanta). I said no im staying with my family. I asked her if she was going and she said yes then I asked her who is she going with (trying to find out if she has a Boyfriend). She said she\'s going with some friends and her friend\'s boyfriend. So there was my chance, I asked her how about your boyfriend?
Her face looked blank for 1 second and looked down then she said,
\"No, she\'s going with her sister to...\" I didn\'t even hear what she said because all I heard was that she has a boyfriend. So I asked again to confirm, I said \"So he\'s not spending the New Year\'s with you tonight?\" She frowned and said \"No...\"
It was freaking cold that time coz we were talking outside and she noticed that I was freezing so I said \"Yup. Its cold I better go.\"

I was frustrated and confused to find out she has a boyfriend. What about all those signs? Are they really signs? And I\'m more
frustrated about myself not being able to make any actions from that point. Im living now in the Woulda-Shoulda-Coulda Land.
Should I have asked for the phone number anyway? I didn\'t want to look like a man who can be used as a substitute boyfriend for the New Year\'s so I didn\'t ask for it and just left without anything else to say.
Do you think she knows what I\'m trying to accomplish?

Where do I go from here?
What should I have done and what should I have not done?

--- I guess I can call myself a Shoulda-Coulda Citizen ---

[proteus]

Big mistake asking about whether or not she has a boyfriend. Others here might disagree but you never ask a girl if she has a boyfriend unless she volunteers that herself. See she may have a boyfriend but is not happy etc. and is looking for someone new but by putting her on the spot and persisting on that line your getting her shield up. If she\'s married it\'s a different situation and I want to know it upfront, but I could care less whether she has a boyfriend or not because ultimately unless she is married it means she still hasn\'t fully committed to this guy so the door is still open. So I never ask a girl about her boyfriend and I think you screwed up here. Not sure what you can do to \"fix\" this as from what you describe her whole attitude seemed to change after you asked this.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Proteus,

I know I screwed up probably you noticed my question \"What should I have not done?\"
That\'s excactly what im so frustrated about. It just came out of my mouth I should have never asked that.

When she frowned and looked like sad, it didn\'t look like she changed her attitude towards me. It looked like she felt sad that she couldn\'t spend time with her boyfriend. I hope somebody can answer my next question, \"Where do I go from here?\" (After I screwed up)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Do u guys think it\'s over for me?
Should I just put an end to it before
I make any further damage?

[oscar]

Redcapp,

She TOLD you where she was going tonight! Get your ass down to the Peach Drop. Maybe you\'ll bump into her, maybe not. Don\'t STALK! If you see her say hello. Smile. Look good. Smell good. Meet her friends. MAYBE, by the end of the night, you\'ll be eating something fuzzy and sweet! Are peaches in season now?

Oscar [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Bravo Oscar;

Ditto ditto ditto....

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Oscar,

i was not feeling well because of the very cold weather so i was just writing down everything i feel right now into a song. when i read your post, i thought ur right and i jumped out of my bed and called my cousins and told them we need to go to the peach drop. nobody would go with me so i felt sick again. [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]
i can\'t go there alone because there\'ll be 100,000 people coming and once they drop the peach everyone will hug their partners and kiss, while im sticking out my neck hoping to see this girl.

i never thought this thread would grow, for those who had not followed my last question, its on the 1st page.

\"Is it over for me now that i screwed it?\" Should I stop at this point or is there something else I can do?

[ccbythesea]

Redcapp,

I read and re-read your post about what happened today when you spoke to \"her\". I didn\'t see anywhere that she said she had a boyfriend. Did she tell you this outright? Were you so nervous that you may have misunderstood her?

It seems to me that by asking you if you were going to the Peach Drop she may have had one of two things in mind.....

If you had said you were going maybe HER next question would\'ve been \"with who?\" to try and find out if YOU have a girlfriend (or wife). And maybe if she found out you\'re single she might\'ve asked if you\'d like to join her and her friends.

Maybe her disappointment wasn\'t stemming from the fact that she wasn\'t going to be with her boyfriend. Maybe she was disappointed that you weren\'t going and \"staying home with your family\". IF she doesn\'t know you\'re single then family could mean wife & kids.

Anyway, yes, you screwed up but so what? Here\'s my advice from a woman\'s point of view:

Next time you see her just be honest. Tell her you\'d like to get to know her better over coffee, lunch or something like that. If there\'s some reason she doesn\'t want to do that then she\'ll most probably let you know right then and there and you can move on. I\'d certainly give it one more shot if I were you [img]images/icons/cool.gif[/img]

Good luck Redcapp and HAPPY NEW YEAR!! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]