Memoirs of a newbie

[Cloud9]

I prefer the trials, errors, and

lessons of real life events rather than a class. Anything though that helps give you an edge in life is always a

good thing. So if classes is what it takes, then so be it.

[valentines_garden]

That was an

interesting interlude on acting classes... I've always been interested in theater myself and might be taking an

acting class next semester.

Anyway, today's report... used 1/4 Chikara gel. Sadly, nothing to report.

I'm

hoping to get my Perception gel packs tomorrow...

[Charlie]

What Carl Jung said

about Persona as an archetype is that it projects the inner self and it’s kinda hard to control like all archetypes.

Some say is like an aura other say its body language. It is of course the mask we "choose" to wear for society, a

negotiation of what we want to show and what the immediate environment will allow us to show but it also conceals

our true nature.
What you guys are saying is interesting. Can someone stop this

projection and replace it with something else? And can he do it flawlessly?

Didn’t you

ever watch a movie and say something is really wrong here. This role doesn’t fit him (happened to me with Keanu

Reeves dozen of times :P) or if someone approaches you and you dislike him without even hearing a word from

him.

Anyway am not sure if acting lessons can change what someone is but they can rid that

“stage fright” when you are going to act (flirt – I believe flirt is an act but that’s another story)



Btw valentine don’t give up on chikara me things that is good stuff if you have some more use ½ and

try and use it in clean air environment and where people tent to stop and talk, like seminars, galleries, museums

etc. The hook on chikara is the great smell. I can’t stop smelling it and so do others. They try to figure out what

perfume it is (I don’t know what to tell when they ask :/), smell it till the pinpoint where it comes from and so

on…they longer they smell they bigger phero dosage they get. Of course if you start a conversation and keep the

target near is all the better.

[belgareth]

Acting classes would work.

Other things do it too, anything that takes you out of your shell. For me it was the Dale Carnegie courses which put

you up in front of people to speak. A friend of mine joined Toastmasters for the same reasons. The point is to train

you how to project what you want instead of your natural discomfort at speaking in front of others.

[surfs_up]

there is a possibility that pheromones are doing their job and the user isn't socially

adept, good enough at picking up on social nuances, to sense how act 1, scene 2 is unfolding, or doesn't know what

to do with the energies that are released when the -mone shifts happen. Face it, a lot of guys, probably the

majority of guys, are poorly attuned to minimal cues and what they might imply. So they have a memorized routine...

be cocky and funny be cocky and funny be cocky and funny... and they pour more of this on at every turn, and the

woman is thinking "what is wrong with this doofus he isn't listening to me ?" or more like "this pompous jerk is so

into his shallow self there's no room for me in this conversation"... or "this guy is hiding behind such an

blatantly bad act" that they feel dumped on, overloaded with stuff they don't care about, or they could see better

on the Lifetime Channel... from experience with many combinations of -mones the best connections are built from

simple, uncomplicated, organic interchange, underacted, underplayed, kind of minimal and rich at the same time...

because I think at the root of it, all of us want to be "felt", understood, gotten, acknowledged as a person, valued

for what we are.... good verb, to value... the pheromone may create that opening where it is okay to express

something more intimate and personal in the middle of an impersonal world, you know in a world full of cell phones

and gadgets blinking shit, ring tones, poses, celebrity cribs, and in the middle of all that crap a moment opens up

and somebody snaps to what you're about.... that's cool, that's mystical... if you can get yourself in that

place, and you have the -mones as your trusty allies that will then put demands on your skills... -mones are funny

that way because they open up so many more possibilities that you might not have been prepared for, how many people

have written "she was agitated/flustered/aroused whatever and I didn't know what to do next" ?

[valentines_garden]

Acting classes would work. Other things do it too, anything that takes you out of your shell. For

me it was the Dale Carnegie courses which put you up in front of people to speak. A friend of mine joined

Toastmasters for the same reasons. The point is to train you how to project what you want instead of your natural

discomfort at speaking in front of others.

Well... I don't usually have a problem speaking in public, or

talking to people in general, male or female, young or old.
I DO have a problem "flirting" with girls, or asking a

girl out, or basically interacting with girls beyond casual friendship (or occasionally joke flirting where we both

know we don't mean it). That's something I'll have to learn to get comfortable with.

[belgareth]

The only way you are going to

get comfortable with it is by doing it. Haave fun! I do it all the time now. Joke with the kid in the 7-11 or the

checker at the grocery store. See if you can make the clerk in the bank laugh. the more you try at it the easier it

gets and the more fun you can have with it.

[DUKE3100]

I used to have that problem

too...I didnt want to ruin my "nice" "safe" "secure" immage. I learned later that people will appreciate you for

making them laugh and making their day interesting. Start off practicing on strangers in banks and grocery stores

like he says. What you will eventually learn about a girl is that even if you make them feel anger its better than

being so boring and bland to them so as to not stick out at all. Women appreciate safe guys....but first ya gotta

show them that your confident and fun too. nice and safe is what closes the deal....but if its all you are....the

only deal you will get is the one where she tells you all her problems and about her new boyfriend Nick.

[tounge]

I DO

have a problem "flirting" with girls, or asking a girl out, or basically interacting with girls beyond casual

friendship (or occasionally joke flirting where we both know we don't mean it). That's something I'll have to

learn to get comfortable with.

Exactly why you need to start acting like a man around them.

You need to make some sexual moves on some women or you will be considered another girlfriend. Flirting and

exhibiting some sign of male sexual behavior will go a long way to improve your relations with the other sex.




Your problem is quite common. I see it all the time. It has nothing to do with being a nice guy or

acting. Take an acting class if it will help, but make sure you develop some male friendships also.

Look, the

creator gave you two balls for a reason, and if you are afraid to show them you'll get no where with women. You can

come across in a sexual way with women while still being a gentleman. You need to learn how to. And the sooner the

better.

[DUKE3100]

Just want to add one thing

though to what he just said.....keep in mind that suddenly acting like a man and not their little girl friend or gay

friend is going to be weird to some of these girls. You have defined yourself to them and they have already placed

you in the friend category. This new strategy is best to use on new girls and then when they start responding to

you....maybe one of your girl friends will get jealous as it occurs to her that you indeed do have balls....but just

because a girl you have not flirted with makes you feel foolish...doesnt mean it is foolish.... Its the same thing

as if you were to go to your best friend and say that you are a pimp....he would laugh at you....because he thinks

he knows you and who you are. That doesnt mean that you cannot become one...if you want to.

[tounge]

You're right Duke. The girls that

he is already girlfriends will probably never see him in a different light. He needs to move on to women as of yet

unknown, and let his girlie friends be social proof for him. Does he have the courage to make these changes and the

wisdom to know the way. It will take some time for him to break himself of these habits. It can be done with

patience and persistence.

[Gegogi]

"...keep in mind that

suddenly acting like a man and not their little girl friend or gay friend is going to be weird to some of these

girls.

Maybe to really young and inexperienced "girls," but not so much for women. Hmm, based on my

slender frame (but well toned), musician lifestyle and metromale threads, many women have assumed or wondered if I

was gay and, out of curiosity or a sense of challenge, come onto me (perhaps they were faghags?). Of course they

soon discover I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing. The thing is, there are as many tastes and preferences as there are

women and I've not found it necessary to tote my balls around in a wheelbarrow to get regular honey on my

stinger.

[tounge]

The kid is still a college student.

Not a Professor or a AP or an instructor. I have two very good friends who are professors at two different small

Universitys. The both swim in female student juice. My one bud just laughs when I questioned him about the potential

problems. He says they have always come on to him and he pretty much has his pick of the litter. One guy is in his

50's and the other is in his late forties.

Another bud of mine is an Assc.Prof down at Penn State, main

campus. He is only 32. He tells me the same stuff.

The faculty can stand out at a University, a hum drum

student has a great deal more difficulty in doing so.


And by the way, all the guys I mentioned are

currently single, and the two older ones are divorced.

[DUKE3100]

Maybe to really

young and inexperienced "girls," but not so much for women. Hmm, based on my slender frame (but well toned),

musician lifestyle and metromale threads, many women have assumed or wondered if I was gay and, out of curiosity or

a sense of challenge, come onto me (perhaps they were faghags?). Of course they soon discover I'm a wolf in

sheep's clothing. The thing is, there are as many tastes and preferences as there are women and I've not found it

necessary to tote my balls around in a wheelbarrow to get regular honey on my stinger.

I think your

right to an extent but I really think that where you live has something to do with this Gegogi. I think older women

in their 30's and 40's and onward are probably not the type of women I am referring to. There is nothing wrong

with being a sheep in wolfs clothing if it is working for you and they are comfortable with it. In your case there

are probably many many factors and complex chemistries that come together to form a strategy that works for you.

However it makes things much more complicated and advanced than it needs to be. I think it also limits chances and

windows of opportunity. Different things work for different people....in the end though the easiest thing for a man

to do to get a women is to be a man. Its not the only way....but I truely believe it to be the easiest way for most

guys and it has the broadest appeal to the most women. WHen you think of the term being a man though Gegogi you get

an image pop into your head of the stereotypical motor cycle guy revvin up his bike or the jock that stole your

highschool sweetheart....you must realize that I speak to a much broader man of all types....I myself was raised by

my mother for the most part and with two sisters. The majority of the first 20 years of my life were spent thinking

that if you do what mom says and you show the girl you like what a great and thoughtful and nice guy you are....that

is how to be a real man. Sadly life just isn't that simple. I wish it was. I am not saying you should not do those

things....but before those things will matter to a women she must first see you as a man.

[Gegogi]

Actually most of the women I come

in contact with are 18-25. Other than associates, I rarely even meet women in the age group of 30-40. Now I've

always gotten along with women really well. Perhaps because I was raised with 4 sisters. Often in only a few minutes

women start to trust me think they're my friend. Sure, there are complex chemistries (artifical 'mones), body

language and lots of smiling, teasing and flirting in the mix. I love to tease 'n flirt even if I have no intention

of going beyond that. But I don't try to be a man (woman or beast for that matter). I just do what feels

natural.

However, although In retrospect I may appear to have been a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm still

100% myself. It's the women that mistakenly think I'm something I'm not. I'm not pretending to be gay, macho or

cocky. I just let it all hang out.

"....They both swim in female student juice."

I can't

say I'm swimming in it but, yeah, it's surprising how often they comeon to me. Most of the time you gotta shake

them off but lately I've been weaker than usual. Neverthess, I'd say merely being a professor doesn't guarantee

regular poon anymore than being a fireman. You still have to keep in shape, look decent and tease and entice women

to get them interested. The diff is you have buku opportunity. However, most of my associates' bellies are so big

they can't see their feet. I'm positive they aren't gettin' any and they sure get jealous of the cute young

things visiting me daily.

Incidentally, I learned to ignore my mother's advice about women while still a

teenager.

[valentines_garden]

Well, many couples I

know started out as friends. But I think you're right, I'd probably have a greater chance with girls I don't yet

know so well or hang out so often with.

Anyway, today's report -- my Perception gel pack came! I applied about

1/2 pack onto my neck (with a little on my wrists) -- I might have exceeded my intended 1/2 by a bit. As some have

noted elsewhere in this forum, the gel is VERY watery, which was a bit of an annoyance at first as I wasn't used to

it. Once again, nothing to report. Didn't have meet too many different girls today; and as I've said before, it's

really hard to tell if the 'mones are having an effect on girls who are usually very friendly with me. Also, I'm

still recovering from the cold I caught about two days ago, so I'm not sure if that has an effect on anything.

[tounge]

Let me add that the 3 men I

mentioned are in very good condition for their age. Not a beer belly on any of them. The older two are showing some

small amounts of grey on the sides.

And I'm here to tell you, if your a decently built fireman, cop, or

University Instructer, among other professions, and have the smallest amount of a game, you WILL swim in the juice.




But this is getting away from the topic. This kid is a student. They are a dime a dozen. And college

chicks are very fickle. The hottie that won't give him the time of day, may think she's ultra sophisticated

banging the Classical music Instructor. Anyway, this topic is getting a bit long in the tooth for me. Bottom line,

and I guarantee it. Majority of his girlie friends look at him as another girlfriend and not a sexual person. I'm

out!

[Mick]

Me:

From now on, I'm going to be a ladies' man. I'm going to show [that girl who rejected me] that half the girls at

this college want to sleep with me.

She: I do.

Me: (grins) I'll hold you to that.

She:

(chuckles) Nah, that would be awkward, 'cause every time we see each other we'd just be thinking of

how GREAT the other night was. Besides, I've sworn off men. No, not really.

And that was the end

of that topic. I didn't get any more attention than usual from any of my female teachers.

---

I'll

continue testing and posting reports. Meanwhile, I've just ordered a box of Perception gel packs just because it

seemed like too good a deal to pass up; I can't wait to start experimenting with that.

Till next

time,
Valentine's Garden.

ok as you can see i've bolded & underlined some bits which I would like you

& everyone else to go over lol because it might be just me but sounds like SHE WANTS YOU!! go get em tiger

[Gegogi]

Okay, I have fond and clear

memories of being a staving music student at the university. Save a few mercy fucks and getting lucky at drunken

parties I went steady with Mary Palms. The problem wasn't that women weren't interested in me or I had difficulty

conversing with them. I spent too much time in practice room grinding my axe and was suffering from mildly severe

social retardation. I hung out with women all the time playing music, getting stoned, getting drunk, etc. I was such

a nerd I missed opportunities galore. Several women told me later they were tired of waiting for me to make a move

and gave up. I dully thought they only wanted to be friends. They were young and shy so no way would they make the

first move, unlike women a few years older. Could this be Valentine's problem today?

[valentines_garden]

ok as you

can see i've bolded & underlined some bits which I would like you & everyone else to go over lol because it might

be just me but sounds like SHE WANTS YOU!! go get em tiger

I don't know... she's been

telling me about the various guys she had/has crushes on, and about how glad she was that her ex-boyfriend had just

broken up with his more recent girlfriend and her hope that she would get back together with him, etc. so I'm

clearly in her "friendzone". In any case, I'm not really interested in her romantically, though I certainly

wouldn't say no to sex if she ever comes on to me...

[DUKE3100]

My case and point is simple. To

be a man and not her girl friend...everyone is trying to say that in their own way....Gegogi included. Mones are a

small percentage. They are not going to make girls you have developed girl friendships with convert (where they talk

about having sex with other guys) My point is if you want to have girlfriends you are going to have to start

behaving more like a man not a girldfriend. Gegogi knows what he is doing and does it correctly. You do not. I know

cause I use to be like you.

[Mick]

ok why was my post not posted? I

didnt say anything offensive to my knowledge

[belgareth]

ok why was my post

not posted? I didnt say anything offensive to my knowledge

What post are you talking about? The last one

you did prior to this was at 2:08 this morning.

[Gegogi]

"...They are not going to

make girls you have developed girl friendships with convert (where they talk about having sex with other

guys)"

Funny you should mention that. I find when women talk about sex with other guys a turnoff and can

even deflate my ego. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean they don't want to jump your bones. During the last couple

years I dated two women, 22 and 26, both were married and talked about sex with their husbands way more than I cared

to hear about. They even talked about how much they loved their husbands! However, they couldn't get enough of my

little willie although I often got the "girlfriend" talk. Women are strange creatures.

[DUKE3100]

Funny you should

mention that. I find when women talk about sex with other guys a turnoff and can even deflate my ego. Nevertheless,

that doesn't mean they don't want to jump your bones. During the last couple years I dated two women, 22 and 26,

both were married and talked about sex with their husbands way more than I cared to hear about. They even talked

about how much they loved their husbands! However, they couldn't get enough of my little willie although I often

got the "girlfriend" talk. Women are strange creatures.

I am not sure what your point is here

Gegogi....but I can give you a cookie if you want.....You must be the master sex God....I bow in your

presence.... Most of us gotta follow the rules.

[belgareth]

I think you are looking at it

too rigidly and that's what Gegogi seems to be getting at. They aren't rules, they are guidelines. But they

aren't cast in stone either. There are thousands of exceptions to them or maybe you could say it falls in a series

of grey shades. Rather than stick to hard and fast rules be ready to show a bit of flexibility in your outlook an

women and you might have a few surprises.

[Mick]

What post are

you talking about? The last one you did prior to this was at 2:08 this morning.

so sorry! me & my dang

impatientness *rolls eyes @ himself* at the time I wrote that my post clearly hadnt come through yet I see it now

[DUKE3100]

I think you

are looking at it too rigidly and that's what Gegogi seems to be getting at. They aren't rules, they are

guidelines. But they aren't cast in stone either. There are thousands of exceptions to them or maybe you could say

it falls in a series of grey shades. Rather than stick to hard and fast rules be ready to show a bit of flexibility

in your outlook an women and you might have a few surprises.

Well said....but i think that any action a

man gets when he presents himself as the harmless girlfriend ((which I do not think Gegogi does because he states

that he teases and flirts)) is despite those actions. Gegogi may indeed have sex with girls who he is girlfriends

with and talks with them about their sex with other men.....but it is his intellect and teaching authority....his

flirting and teasing that is what gets them into bed. That is the point that "I" am trying to make here. In this

gentlemans case he is in college. There is nothing to set him as a man to these women....especially if all he is

doing is listening to their problems and being nice and talking with them about their ex-boyfriends....he even

posted a post where the girl gave him an opening....and he didnt even try to take the bait!!! I am not saying that

you cannot be nice or be a women's friend....that is a part of the ingrediant....but what makes a women have sex

and be someones girlfriend....is attraction......and being her friend and listening to her problems and being nice

is not attractive....its not unattractive either....but it is not going to make the girl want to have sex or be with

you in a romantic way. Things like Alpha, Being a man, taking care of her in a masculin way, Having some sort of

social status or authority (like a teacher status), teasing, flirting, having a superior and witty personality,

intelligence.....these are things that are attractive to her and make her think of you in that way. She absolutely

must see you primarily as a man or the friend/nice stuff will not lead anywhere further. END OF STORY...

[CptKipling]

I

don't know... she's been telling me about the various guys she had/has crushes on, and about how glad she was that

her ex-boyfriend had just broken up with his more recent girlfriend and her hope that she would get back together

with him, etc. so I'm clearly in her "friendzone". In any case, I'm not really interested in her romantically,

though I certainly wouldn't say no to sex if she ever comes on to me...

I really hope that you

understand exactly how and how much I mean this: If you want a girl, make her want you and advance the relationship.

Worry about if she wants you after you have tried. Well actually worry about it never, but you get the point.

[Gegogi]

One thing I learned long ago is

you must break the rules sometimes to be sucessful. You can't do it all the time but an inspired and calulated risk

can payoff manyfold over "going by the book." In fact, artists are trained and expected to depart from the "rules"

ASAP or die a quick death due to a lack or originality.

As for our gardener, Valentine, he says he's a

talented musician. Speaking from experience, I know many women expect--usually assume--artists to be somewhat

deviant sexually and will do and say things with you they don't normally do with other guys. Artists are a mystery

and they want to explore you. Of course, they'll soon find out you're the same in the sack as everyone else.

However, they'll expect and let you get away with all sorts of hissy fits, kinky sex and drug induced zombie

behavior (I've long been drug free). Maybe Valentine should work on his mysterious artist vibe and use it to his

advantage.