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  1. #1
    Phero Enthusiast Netghost56's Avatar
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    Default My Results...

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    4/23/05

    As I

    stated in an earlier post, I intended to test TE at the mall over the weekend. I just got back and I am ready to

    give my results:

    I leave the house at 9:30. It's a 1 hour drive to the mall. I got a haircut the day before,

    sort of a Tom Cruise "Top Gun"-style cut. I'm wearing dress shoes, dark blue jeans, a smoky white T-shirt that says

    "Class of 2000"- over that a ninja/dragon style printed rayon shirt. I'm also wearing my silver bracelet and silver

    Casio watch(it looks exactly like the one Brosnan wore in Die Another Day). This set is my usual casual set that I

    wear when I'm out on the town. As I'm leaving I open a SOE gel pack and apply 2 dabs to my neck, so that I can

    get used to it. To me, SOE smells like soap. Sweet, fruity, kinda strong but not over bearing. I've read that SOE

    has a narcotic effect, but I don't notice much. I'm trembling with anticipation at the thought of how the day

    could go.

    At 10:25, I hit town. It's alittle early to go to the mall so I head to my favorite haunt, "Books A

    Million". I don't buy from there, but they have a great selection that I can browse through. Sitting in the car I

    open the TE gelpack. TE smells like old ladie's perfume (you know what I'm talking about). Musky, deep, strong. I

    apply just a small dab behind my ears, and dry my fingers on the collar of my shirt. Then I apply more SOE to my

    neck. I hit the store and I'm ready to go to work. Of course, at 10:30am, there's not a crowd in a bookstore.

    Nevertheless, I start walking around. I find a few women here and there, and pass closely by them. No reaction. I

    stand directly across the aisle from a girl about 20, for about 2 minutes. No reaction. I follow one woman down on

    aisle and pass in front of her. I watch behind me for any sign; double-take, stop in track, etc. Nothing. OK, so

    maybe bookworms aren't interested. No problem. A little while later its 11, so I leave and head over to the mall.



    Before getting out I decide to go all out. I add two good-sized dabs of TE on my neck, and more SOE, this time on

    my jawline. I wondered about three applications in under two hours, but I figure if I OD then at least its a sign

    it's working. After all, a negative reaction is better than no reaction at all. Also, I've brought along some hand

    wipes, so that I can wipe myself down if I get too much on. As I'm walking to the doors, I notice a whole flock of

    hotties going in ahead of me. Dang. I start to worry about ODing now. Perhaps I should have a cooldown, just in

    case. Once inside I step off into the arcade, my old home away from home. I watch the young kids make a fool out of

    themselves on the dancing machine. I'm a big fan of driving and shooting games, so I burn 30 minutes on Cruisin'

    Exotica, Harley Davidson Around the World, and some uber-realistic hunting game (who would ever make a pump

    rifle??)

    11:30. The mall is jumping. I step onto the pavilion and eye the playing field. I'm feeling good. For

    once there's alot of young people around. In the next hour and a half, I lap the mall four times. That means I

    walked from Dillards to Macy's to Sears and back. Along the way I make sure to stand close to or pass by as many

    women as possible, regardless of age or relationship status. I follow the woman through three shops. I feel like a

    stalker, so I give her up. I pop over to Waldenbooks. The woman there are always chatty. But today there's no

    unusual reaction. I have the girl at Camelot Music show me around(they have a hard to find Techno section), and I

    linger around the woman at the Cingular booth. No reaction. No raised eyebrows, no smiling. I did notice some direct

    eye contact with some women, but they were no where near me. Finally, I head to Romancing the Stone, a New Age store

    that's quickly becoming one of my favorite places. There's a ok-looking girl working the counter. I try to make

    small talk but the poor thing was waiting on six custumers simotaneously(sp). I buy a handful of incense and leave.

    Still got about 20 minutes to kill, so I head back to the arcade for round 2 with the hunting game. Got my initials

    at #13. Out in the car I take a hand wipe and wipe everything off my face, neck, and hands.

    12:54. I hit the

    movie theater. "Go for broke!" my conscience tells me. I apply HALF of the remainer of the TE gelpack to my neck,

    face, and hands.

    I came today to watch "Sahara", and the first showing is at 1:00. I step into the cineplex. 5

    minutes later, I'm back in the parking lot.

    I came today to watch "Sahara", and the first showing is at 2:00.

    I glance at my watch. I have an hour to kill, but I don't want to wonder off too far. My eyes fall on Super Target

    in the near distance. I grin. Always women there. I apply more TE on the neck before I enter the store. At this

    point I can smell myself. True to form, lots of women in Target. Lots of middle-aged women, mommies, and couples,

    actually. Oh well, I'm looking for a reaction here, not a immediate relatioship. I lap the store three times, and

    by that I mean I go up and down EVERY aisle. I pass here, duck and bob there. No reactions. The only single women I

    see are in unapproachable places. There's one in the middle of the lingerie section (Pervert!"Slaps), one in the

    baby section (ummm, YIELD), and another in the pillows and bedsheets aisle (are you a queer eye for the-?). Ok, at

    this point I'm getting kinda miffed. I'm beginning to think I'll have to strip naked and stick a feather duster

    in my butt if I'm going to get any attention from these women. (sorry for the vile image).

    I leaved Target

    feeling dejected and head back to the movie theater. I apply more SOE and figure, "what the heck? Maybe I'll get a

    reaction by people noticing the misty fumes
    enamanating from me." I go in, sit down, and watch "Sahara". I

    enjoyed it. Nothing happened otherwise.

    4:15 I leave, feeling mellowed. (I really love going to the movies,

    even though I always go alone). I get on the freeway and head to the Mandarin House for some takeout. I'm their

    number one repeat custumer. No women there, so I just hang my head over the fried rice. I need some sympathy food,

    so I pile about three pounds of entrees into a small styrofoam container. At $8 for three pounds, you can't beat

    it. One way home as I use another wipe, I get really angry/hurt/depressed/confused/all of the above. My biggest

    frustration is that I have no one to talk to about this.

    So that's my story. Just the facts for now, my

    opinions will follow later after I've collected my thoughts and had a pile of pot-stickers.

  2. #2
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Keep your head up... lot's of us

    have to mess around with all sorts of products and dosages to find what works... Best thing to do is have the

    attitude that this whole thing can be pretty precise, especially for some people, and you're going to have to a

    significant amount of experiementing.
    "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
    --Benjamin Franklin

  3. #3
    Phero Enthusiast Netghost56's Avatar
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    Ok, so I took a long, hot

    soak to unwind, and listened to some music. And I reread my post. Aside from the grammar errors everything is

    exactly what happened. There were a few things I left out:

    I took a TE, SOE, and Chikara gelpack with me. I had

    meant to take along my can of AXE Tsunami, but forgot it. I tried Chikara last week, but didn't have much

    opportunity to observe any reactions, (ie, no women around). So I decided to test SOE and TE, mainly because I'm

    the "lone wolf" type to a T, hence the SOE, and I wanted some strong reactions, hence the TE. And the reason for

    wanting a strong reaction is that I'm an idiot when it comes to reading body language. So I assumed that even a

    blind man could notice a reaction with this combination. I guess I assumed wrong. (Note to self: Assumptions are

    always wrong. Never assume anything.)

    I looked for reactions from everybody, not just women, but also men and

    children. Just pretty much kept my eyes about for anything unusual directed at me. All my life I've been pretty

    much a ghost, so much that I can walk in to a room, stand around for a while in plain view, and then go up to

    someone and tap them on the shoulder, and they're like "Yahh! Where did you come from?" While I like the fact that

    I have a skill of sneaking up on people or disappearing, it's an obstacle when I want to be noticed.

    I'm not

    sure if my natural 'mones are working or not, or if I'm producing too much of the wrong kind. I say this because

    strangers always act like I'm threatening, ie they stay away, or act mean or rude to me without any encouragement

    on my part. Could this mean that I'm naturally producing too much -none??? Anyway I can't exactly call it

    intimidation but people definitely are naturally turned off by my presence.

    I have an AE gelpack, I will try

    it sometime later on. I don't get many opportunities to go out much, I'm home almost all the time (I'm a family

    care-giver). In fact, this today was meant to be a sort of "personal day" for me, first one I've had in awhile and

    probably the last one I will have for the near future. I still plan to test Chikara whenever I go to the supermarket

    or other stores, but I want to hold off on AE, TE, and SOE (the freebies)until I have a definite opportunity to

    really get a use out of it (bar, mall, etc.).

    My view of today's experiment is that I don't think there were

    really enough women. Also I guess I should have tried using the whole SOE pack at once, and holding off on the TE

    until later. But as I said, I may not get another opportunity in a while. I still have gel left in the packs, so I

    guess I will use them up the next time I go to town, so that they won't go bad. When I do I'll probably not mix

    them. Next time I use Chikara I'll probably use half a pack right off. I think it would work better for me if I

    started at OD and worked my way down.

    As far as smelling the 'mones, I could definitely detect an odd

    sensation from smelling them right out of the pack. These gelpacks seem to have a more "distinctive" scent than your

    basic cologne. But then again, I've never smelled an expensive cologne. The only cologne I have is Stetson (a

    birthday pack), and a eight-year-old red bottle of Avon cologne that was only used about three times before the

    spray head got screwed up.

    My first experience with 'mones was YEARS ago. I ordered it from a magazine ad.

    Cost me $60, and because I was only 14, I had to con my mother into writing out a check for it. She never knew what

    it was I bought. I don't remember what it was called (I think it was Jungle Passion), but the package came from

    Western Research Institute. I got a small vial with a small funnel, a couple of subliminal tapes (which I ended up

    getting more use out of)("Pheromones for the Mind", one was called), and I also got a book of sexual techniques(My

    mother later found that, but that's another story). I remember I poured the vial into a little "lens cleaner" spray

    bottle and added about 20 sprays of the Avon cologne. I still have the spray bottle, with some stuff left in it, but

    it's pure alcohol now. I remember the stuff had a slightly urine, wheaty smell to it.


    I want to believe

    that 'mones work. I have to. I've pretty much run out of options of getting attention any other way. What I really

    wish I had was a coach that could help me (like a father would do) and point out things that I wouldn't notice

    otherwise. I have a friend that gets more women than a hair salon, but he's not really outgoing about sharing his

    knowledge. Typical "player".

  4. #4
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    "I find a few women here

    and there, and pass closely by them. No reaction. I stand directly across the aisle from a girl about 20, for about

    2 minutes. No reaction. I follow one woman down on aisle and pass in front of her. I watch behind me for any sign;

    double-take, stop in track, etc. Nothing. OK, so maybe bookworms aren't interested. No

    problem."
    Usually that's the way it works around strangers. Women rarely let down their guard to

    strangers on the street or a shopping mall. If you want attention, you can't be passive. You have to take the

    initiative. Walk up, smile and say "hello, my name is Joe Cool." If they don't run, you might get a conversation

    going and subsequently allow the 'mones to work their magic. The only time a passive posture attracts women is in

    an environment the woman already knows you, understands your status and thus has some security and social

    validity.

    You should try TE at a church singles meeting, work (if lots of women are around) or a dance club.

    At least they expect social interaction.

    All my life I've been pretty much a ghost, so much that I

    can walk in to a room, stand around for a while in plain view, and then go up to someone and tap them on the

    shoulder, and they're like "Yahh! Where did you come from?"
    Actually I have the same problem (except

    when performing). Hell, the McDonold's girl used to ask the person behind me for their order, as if I wasn't

    there! However, I've learned to go in and out of stealth mode. Acting classes can help as you become more aware of

    your voice, facial expressions and movements. You can learn to carry yourself to attract attention--good or bad!

    Pheromones won't help much.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

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    I noticed something with your

    post...you kept saying how you "passed by" different women. It sounds like there may have only been one or two

    instances where you lingered for more than a few seconds. First, I would recommend not getting too anxious to see

    results until you find out what works for you, otherwise it's asking for confusion. I would get a "safe" mix, use

    it consistently at slightly varying levels, and see what you get.
    BUT, the most important change that I see

    that could be made is to figure that a girl looking at something on the same isle (by happenstance, preferably) may

    get a line on the mones and react, but walking down the isle past the girl will probably not even give her any more

    than it would give you if a nice looking girl walked by with good perfume...you might think "huh, nice smell", but

    that's it.

    I have had my best luck with happenstance and daily life...touchy-feelie waitresses, my female

    barber commenting on how good I look, and having more interaction and different reactions in daily life. That said,

    also be sure to skip some days to let it wear off completely so it won't build up.

    On a side note, for the

    Lone Wolf syndrome, I have had really good results from the starter kit mix of 50/50 SPMO/TE...for me, it also seems

    to take the edge off of more intense things, and has probably let me get by with stiffer mixes than would have been

    good for me otherwise.

    Hope I've been some help,
    -RA-

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    Great level of detail in your

    observations and amusing read.

    Unfortunately, you can't really tell much from a single use. I would say ten or

    more is really the bare minimum, and even that is, to me, just a slight test. When you're fishing you drop bait

    into a sea of millions of fish, but only expect to catch a handful at best. Find more good times to use them and

    keep a log of the results.

    With or without pheromones, being noticed is about body language (and also

    attractiveness, but that's harder to change). I walk MUCH differently when I'm feeling confident, and people

    instantly react to that. People also have interesting reactions to noncreepy eye contact or a slight smile.



    With or without pheromones, meeting people is about putting your best foot forward. Your waitress arrives with

    your drink...say something funny or friendly. There's a cute girl at the bookstore help desk...go get her

    assistance in finding a book, and if possible find a way to make a conversation out of it, maybe share something

    about yourself. Your pheromones may occasionally pull someone in that you've had no contact with, but really, how

    many women do you know that will just approach a man they don't know out of the blue? Last night, I saw a waitress

    that I have often seen but really don't know well. I approached her when she wasn't busy and asked how she was

    doing, got the usual kind of one or two word reply, and the usual "How about you?" in return. I told her great, and

    about some of the things I've got planned for this week (2 concerts!) and then asked what she'd be doing.

    Attending some art shows, she answered. A few questions later and she was touching my arm and asking if I'd come

    back the next day so she could show me some of her work. The other times I've seen her there, she's smiled and

    such but really never taken any extra effort. I don't know whether the Chikara helped in this instance or not, but

    making a point of starting a conversation with her certainly did. I'm no Casanova, but I'm learning. ;-)

  7. #7
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    Man listen..U have to develope

    game for the women. like RA pointed something out that u just passed by them..lol dude you got to go up to the women

    and start a conversation with them..

  8. #8
    Phero Enthusiast chicago's Avatar
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    Netghost56 maybe get a part-time at wal-mart, my

    friend meets hundreds of woman by working at wal-mart. from customers to

    workers.
    ________
    Upskirt vids
    Last edited by chicago; 04-08-2011 at 03:12 PM.

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    Phero Guru Rbt's Avatar
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    So far in my own tests the past

    couple months I've noticed it seems to take at least 5 minutes of "exposure" to 'mones before I start to get any

    sort of reactions, strangers or friends. And nothing happens unless somebody starts something, even just an off-hand

    remark or comment will do, to get the interaction going. The chattyness/touching/etc. often doesn't start picking

    up until about 10-15 minutes have passed at minimum. I never ever had a "stop in their tracks as they walk by"

    reaction.

    Many days during my testings I've gotten absolutely NO reactions from anyone. There are just too many

    variables to predict any certainites. Yes, I wish it were easier... Dream of the day you could take a "swab test" of

    your own natural 'mones and body chemistry, evaluate your other "features and benefits", determine what kind of

    reactions you are looking for and from whom, then plug into a calculator to find an ideal "hit mix"... <sigh>

  10. #10
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    if you have a job that cause you

    to be anti-social, get another job that has a comparable salary. if you're gonna get a job where it consumes you

    life, atleast make it be in a social environment.

  11. #11
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    Good point, TRock. You're

    not going to get much of a chance to meet women and test your 'mones while cooped up in someone's house. Sorry,

    just isn't going to happen.

    On another note, thanks for posting your results! Even though you got no

    reactions, be glad that you have a decent starting point to go with. You have in your possession 'mones that

    actually work, as opposed to some overpriced, ineffective, watered down cologne.

    In my experiences with 'mones,

    no matter what combination I have on, women most likely aren't going to pass by me and, after one whiff, follow me

    around like a puppy dog. That may happen once in a thousand times, but don't think of it as a regular occurence,

    otherwise you're screwed. In order for pheromones to work their magic, you have to be in someone's viscinity for

    more than a quick few seconds. One pass of a beautiful women isn't going to have much effect, unless you're

    OD'ing bigtime. I once went out with six full sprays of Chikara on my neck, and had a guy in Blockbuster say, "It

    smells like a whorehouse in here..." I got a few more hostile comments and actions, but none that I care to share

    here. The point of that 'experiment' was to see what reactions I would get during an OD, and to make sure that

    'mones worked. If you want to see 'mones in action, then I would reccomend something along those lines. However,

    simply approaching a women and starting a civil conversation would probably do the trick as well.

    Also, what

    products do you have at your disposal, besides the gel packs?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Netghost56

    I want to

    believe that 'mones work. I have to. I've pretty much run out of options of getting attention any other way. What

    I really wish I had was a coach that could help me (like a father would do) and point out things that I wouldn't

    notice otherwise. I have a friend that gets more women than a hair salon, but he's not really outgoing about

    sharing his knowledge. Typical "player".
    Really, this is the most telling paragraph in your posts right

    here, and it has nothing to do with 'mones. You've "run out of options"? That's very "beta" thinking. The

    reason your player friend probably isn't sharing his knowledge is because, either subconsciously or or not, he

    realizes that even if he were to share his knowledge with you, it probably wouldn't do you any good.



    Understand, none of this is meant to get you down further than you are. It's just that, pheromones won't help

    you if you attitude is the pits. I'm not going to sit here and evangelize for other sites - all I can say is, the

    best advice anyone can give you right now on improving your attitude is for you to do a google search on

    "seduction", click the links that come up, and start reading. And reading. And reading. No, not all of the advice

    on their is spot on - but much of it is, including the core beliefs about the right attitude to maintain about

    yourself.

    Even I, at 34 years old and married with kids, recently have begun incorporating many of those same

    attitudes into my life, and to very positive results. This, combined with proper 'mone usage, WILL change your

    circumstances, if you stick to it. Why, just now, a combination of certain attitudes and behaviors, a new way of

    dressing (for me), and 4 dabs of TE swiped along my neck, made for a very smitten wife this afternoon (wow, you look

    so hot today, bedroom eyes, etc.) , and a very *satisfied* wife now sleeping in my bed this evening. Sure, I must

    have been doing something right to become married in the first place, but we all fall victim to complacency

    sometimes - and these past few months, I have been awakening from a several-year long sleep.

    My point is, you

    can *always* do something to change your circumstances, but you've got to work on the inside first, before worrying

    about the outside.

    As to your specific field test, one day isn't a valid test, as the other posters here have

    said. In addition to that, the dosages on the gelpacks are different - they are much less concentrated, so you have

    to use more - as the gelpacks are generally designed to give 2 or 3 uses per pack. In other words, gelpack dosages

    are 1/3 to 1/2 a PACK, not 'dabs'. You can't use normal dosage guidelines for the liquid products with the

    gelpacks. That goes for TE, SOE, and Chikara, all in my experience. Trust me, if *I* don't OD on 1/2 pack of TE,

    no one will. I nearly invented CEE.

    Also, I agree with the others, you've got to stike up conversations to see

    reactions. My reco, I would forget about TE right now - instead, just concentrate on soe. Why? Because past

    surveys here have indicated that it is one of the most effective products, in terms of seeing SOME reaction -

    whereas, the 'none heavy products like TE are more inconsistent with this.

    So, what you do is, take a 1/2

    pack SOE, and apply it. Also apply some cologne, just to get people subconsciously smelling you, and inhaling more

    deeply. Stike up a conversation with a woman, it could be about tires, it doesn't matter. Point is, it doesn't

    have to be sexual. The reaction you're looking for? She won't shut up. If not the first one, then the second,

    or the third. But, I have never worn SOE, and had it not fail to create VERY chatty effects AFTER I STARTED THE

    CONVERSATION. No, it won't get you laid. But once you see this in action, you'll never again doubt that 'mones

    work.

    Now, as for what to DO about those long conversations, well that's step 2, and references the

    "seduction" site searches above.

  13. #13
    Phero Dude gfunk's Avatar
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    Just a quick thought. You are very

    good at writing, this should move you onto the the top of the game on the internet dating scene. Research has proven

    that relationships started in the virtual world most times is as strong as in real life, and that once they meet,

    they skip all the "getting to know each other"-part and get right to it . The internet dating ground is supposed

    to be the new meeting area, many (women) say that they would even prefer meeting people through the net than in

    packed drunken bars or clubs, I'd say go for it! It would also make you able to get more dates, thus "close

    encounters" with women who already has an interest of seeing you to begin with. This should be the perfect

    setting for letting the mones give you that extra shine...


    Also, have patience with finding your right

    product, and mix. I'm quite experienced, and still have many days when trying out different combo's/products with

    less or/and bad results. This is dependent on both my mix combinations and social settings for the day.

    For fun

    you could think of ways to get women actually smell you. Say that you have a new cologne, and are very unsecure if

    it has a nice smell, ask for an opinion, and voila! you got her whiffing your new features, and you've got a

    conversation going. Women LOVE talking about this, not to mention being asked for advices. Also maybe you should

    consider taking salsa lessons!


    Good luck!

  14. #14
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    i think you can use dating sites

    as a training ground but online dating is what it is online dating. you still have no idea on how to approach women

    and get a conversation going. you can build confidance with online dating but eventually you need to step into a

    live environment.

  15. #15
    Phero Dude gfunk's Avatar
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    That would be the whole point yes,

    do online dating to achieve offline dating.

  16. #16
    Phero Enthusiast Netghost56's Avatar
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    First off, thanks for the

    encouragment everyone. I'm definitely not giving up, especially when I'm just out of the bullpen. The only problem

    is that there's not alot of meeting places where I live. The closest bar is two hours away, mall is an hour (in

    another city). I live in a small town where the most happening place is Walmart. I have thought about my former

    stomping grounds at the college, but unless I actually walk into a classroom session I'm not going to find many

    people.

    gfunk: I have chatted online since the old Microsoft Chat server and HTML-based chat rooms. I don't

    have any problem talking to people online. I've found that I can communicate well by writing, but in speech I

    stumble and stutter. And Yes, I don't know how to dance at all. My friend is professionally trained, and when he

    goes out on the dance floor, I just want to hide.


    I've been told that I live in my head; I'm always

    running scenarios in my mind about what could happen if I do this, or that. That's one of the things I want to

    change, but its such an overwhelming habit.

    Bigman808: All I have is a pack of Chikara gels, and freebies. I

    can't afford to buy the sprays outright. I don't have a job, and what money I have is tied up in other things

    right now.

    Chicago: I've applied at Walmart several times this year. Of course, all job applications are

    online these days, so there's no way to "sweettalk" your way into a job. And Walmart is the only source of

    employment in town, so I have to compete with the high-schoolers and all the other college grads who can't do

    anything with their diplomas.

    esk6969: I'm not going to say "walk a mile in my shoes", but you have to remember

    that we're all different. You probably have something going for you that I don't, or you took an opportunity

    whereas I never saw one. I'll be the first to admit, choices I've made have messed me up, and it's no one's

    fault but mine. I was either too shy or too cowardly to step up to the plate. But even then one can't always change

    their circumstances alone. Everybody needs help sometimes.

    I'm more mature now, but I'm still not quite

    confident enough to be the "cocky/funny" type. And yes, I've read David D'Angelo, I've listened to Ross Jeffries,

    Tony Robbins, and read volume after volume on dating until I was able to give advice (I read out of the books). But

    reading and understanding information and actually using it is two different things. In my case I tend to overdo it

    and try to copy scenarios that I've read about into reality and it never works.

  17. #17
    Phero Enthusiast chicago's Avatar
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    Netghost56 i wish you good luck, and keep trying

    because you will find what your looking for,
    ________
    Website design
    Last edited by chicago; 04-08-2011 at 03:13 PM.

  18. #18
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    From my experience, confidence

    makes all the difference in the world. NOTHING will help your dating life more than confidence. Nothing will help

    your everyday interactions more than confidence. People, particularly women, can sniff out confidence (or lack

    thereof). However, it's easy to say that, and hard to actually improve your confidence. That's why your friend

    gets so much play. He is confident on the dance floor at the very least. Dancing is basically only a gauge of

    confidence. It's going out there and not caring if you look like an ass.

    What is there to lose? If you

    approach a girl, what is the worst that can happen? She can reject you. Well, what is going to happen if you

    don't approach the girl? You're rejecting yourself. You have a 0% chance of success when you do nothing. And I

    understand how talking to women can seem intimidating, especially if they're attractive. The only thing that will

    make it seem less daunting is if you do it a lot. One of the things that really helped me was realizing that no

    matter how gorgeous a woman may be, I'm still going to be the catch. Why should I be intimidated by a woman just

    because I find her attractive? She may have no personality at all, she may be dumb as a rock. I KNOW what I'm

    bringing to the table. I'm a handsome kid, I dress well, I'm intelligent, I'm funny, and I treat people well. I

    can credit the last 4 of those to my teenage years, when I had the lowest self-esteem possible so I basically just

    tried to perfect my personality. So why should I be intimidated by a girl who probably isn't worthy of me? I

    realize that sounds extremely cocky, but I have extremely high standards when it comes to personality. Frankly,

    most of the hot girls are too concerned with their looks to meet them.

    Try just making a list if your good

    qualities. It doesn't have to be long, because most of the qualities will be so broad that they encompass many

    things. Whenever you see a girl don't worry about what she MAY have going for her, just remember what you do have

    going for you.

    I think I read this in Mens Health a while ago and it made a huge difference for me when I was

    around girls. When you are about to approach a girl, don't think to yourself, "Man, I wonder if this girl is going

    to like me." Think, "I wonder if I am going to like this girl." Just a simple change in thinking like that will

    automatically increase your confidence.

    I'm sorry this was so longwinded and I also apologize if I was

    preachy. I guess I just felt like I had to speak up because a few years ago, I was in the exact same position as

    you. You can increase your confidence, it just takes time, effort, and positive thinking. But let me tell you, it

    is so incredibly worth it. The mones will just be icing on the cake.

    Hope I helped,
    Steve
    Last edited by Undertow; 04-25-2005 at 02:56 AM.

  19. #19
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    Sheesh, you live out in the

    sticks and opportunities for female encounters or employment are extremely lean. I too lived in sticksville, a

    family farm near a town of 5000, so I know where you're going from and what you're up against. You must have your

    reasons for staying, but I left when I was 18 and never looked back. Most women live in the cities and that's where

    fortune and fame await you. After I moved to Honolulu I found an endless stream of poontang from around the world at

    my doorstep. Sure I messed up a lot but the opportunities were so abundant it didn't matter.

    Perhaps you

    need to take a major leap of faith and hit the road (just don't join the military).
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  20. #20
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    You wrote:
    esk6969: I'm

    not going to say "walk a mile in my shoes", but you have to remember that we're all different. You probably have

    something going for you that I don't, or you took an opportunity whereas I never saw one. ....

    These guys are

    giving you excellent advice, I can't add much. But this I wanted to say, regarding your reply pasted above. You

    once wrote in another post or thread that the avatar is a real pic of you. Well, that is what YOU have going for

    you. You are very good-looking!

    Places I could think of would be places where prolonged proximity and

    interaction are acceptable or even expected. How about the gym? You do work out, don't you (well you look like it

    ) Or... go spend a Saturday afternoon at Barnes and Nobles? (even if it is an hour ride) Or as mentionned

    above church happenings, or similar social events. I think that getting over the initial awkwardness via an internet

    relationship is a good idea as well. Just make sure she's not 100 miles away! Good luck! Remember - You definitely

    have your looks going for you!

  21. #21
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    From your writing I'd say you

    also seem to have a good mind. Naughty is right in her advice. Or to put it another way, we all have assets if we

    choose to take advantage of them. Until you make the effort to go out and talk to people none of your assets is

    going to do you a bit of good though. It isn't easy at first, I completely understand that because I've been there

    myself. The more you practice at it the easier it gets and the better you get at it. It can even become fun. Don't

    just focus on females, practice being friendly and open with everybody you meet. It might happen that some guy you

    are friendly with will introduce you to either a nice lady or an employment prospect. I'd bet that has happened to

    more than half the forum members.

    Here are some things I did in my own self help program:
    1. Visited an

    employment counselor and took a whole battery of personality and skill assessments. Many states offer them for free

    or low cost. They helped me better understand myself.
    2. Take a public speaking class. Local colleges are cheap and

    offer several such classes. Not only will you take some of the edge of your discomfort but you'll stand a good

    chance of meeting people in a non-threatening envirinment.
    3. Join a club or group. Big Brothers, Rotary,

    Forrestors etc are all begging for people to help out. You'll meet some great people in those groups and do

    something rewarding.
    4. Make it a point to smile and speak to people you meet on a daily basis. You'll get some

    negative reactions but you'll also get a lot of positive ones. Laugh and have fun doing it.
    5. Stop worrying about

    it. The more you try, the harder it gets because you put off a desperation vibe.

    Good luck.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Quote Originally Posted by Netghost56
    esk6969: I'm

    not going to say "walk a mile in my shoes", but you have to remember that we're all different. You probably have

    something going for you that I don't, or you took an opportunity whereas I never saw one. I'll be the first to

    admit, choices I've made have messed me up, and it's no one's fault but mine. I was either too shy or too

    cowardly to step up to the plate. But even then one can't always change their circumstances alone. Everybody needs

    help sometimes.

    I'm more mature now, but I'm still not quite confident enough to be the "cocky/funny" type.

    And yes, I've read David D'Angelo, I've listened to Ross Jeffries, Tony Robbins, and read volume after volume on

    dating until I was able to give advice (I read out of the books). But reading and understanding information and

    actually using it is two different things. In my case I tend to overdo it and try to copy scenarios that I've read

    about into reality and it never works.
    Who says I haven't walked a mile in your shoes? I'm 34. I

    wasn't always 34. I was 15 once, and completely without any clue about dating, life, or women. I was in a new

    city, and knew no one. And I didn't have any Internet to turn to for advice, nor was there anything out there like

    David D., Ross Jeffries, or even NLP as we know it today.

    But still, I went out, and did things about it. I

    stumbled. I learned. And eventually, I got better. Please don't mistake my post for "I've always been good with

    women"; nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not even sure I would call myself "good with women" now - but

    now, at least when I screw up, I usually know what I'm doing wrong. And, 9 times out of 10 at least, I know that

    it's MY fault, and no one elses. And usually, the fault that is mine, is giving up control of myself, my life, my

    attitude, my "frame". Allowing an internal cognitive dissonance to occur between my envisioned reality, and my

    experienced reality.

    The mind will not tolerate the condition of cognitive dissonance for very long.

    Eventually, if the condition persists, it will adjust the internal reality, to reflect the external reality. Even

    if the external reality isn't valid. Right now, your external reality states that you aren't good with women,

    don't have opportunities, don't have what it takes, etc. Yet, Naughtygirl looks at your pic, and says you are

    good looking! And, Naughty has told me in the past that she looks similar to her avatar... (OMG .... so, you have

    this extremely hot and intelligent women telling you it's not your looks. So, draw a line, it must be something

    else, right? And it probably is, it's probably your attitude, that results from your own disconnect between your

    beliefs, and your experiences, as relayed above.

    This is where my previous recommendation comes in. I didn't

    say "read Ross Jeffries or David D", although there's nothing wrong with either of them. But, there is so much

    more out there than just that! So you tried the "cocky & funny" approach, and it didn't work for you - that's a

    very common experience. And, almost invariably, it's because when guys try it, it is an external behavior, that is

    not consistent with their internal self - thus, they come off as self-conflicted, and incongruent, and weird chicks

    out. This is discussed so much on the sites I mentioned in my previous post, it could almost be a FAQ. Really, I

    recommend, rather than trying to master any "Seduction System", just simply reading the articles and forums on the

    sites, seeing what works for other guys and what doesn't, and applying it to your situation. Think of it as a way

    to compress your time and learning, and as an advantage you can use so that it doesn't take you years, like it did

    for me!

    And, take Gegogi's advice seriously to heart - MOVE! It's like that old Sam Kinison comedy routine

    about people starving in the desert - the reason they are starving, is because it's a DESERT! MOVE WHERE THE FOOD

    IS!

  23. #23
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    How about if you take this

    conversation to Open Discussion instead of hijacking this thread. Please!
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  24. #24
    Phero Pro NaughtieGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    How about

    if you take this conversation to Open Discussion instead of hijacking this thread. Please!
    Sorry ... I'll be

    more careful in the future. I deleted what I could.

  25. #25
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Thanks. It was a serious

    problem we had in the past so we've had to become hard nosed about it.

    Actually, I just need some excuse to be

    a grump now and then.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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