Things you may want to say but don't, or do you?

1) I

can see your point, but I still think you're full of schitt.

2) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll

bet it's hard to pronounce.

3) How about never? Is never good for you?

4) I see you've set aside this

special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see

it my way.
6) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to

leave a message.

8) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9) It sounds like English, but I can't understand

a word you're saying.

10) Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11) I like you. You remind

me of when I was young and stupid.

12) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13) I have

plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your


15) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16) Thank you. We're all

refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean

you're an artist.

18) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19) What am I?

Flypaper for freaks!?

20) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21) It's a thankless job, but

I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24) Do I look like a people person?

25) This

isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26) I started out with nothing & still have most of it


27) Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28) If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29) Errors

have been made. Others will be blamed.

30) Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.

31) I'm

trying to imagine you with a personality.

32) A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33) Can I

trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34) Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

35) How do I

set a laser printer to stun?

36) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

37) File

that under "Never".