Your
experiences with Chikara very closely mirror my own. We probably have similar chemical signatures. I agree that it
tends to lower approach barriers on both sides, and also acts as a very effective "base" that is almost never
inappropriate. I get EXACTLY the same kinds of IOI's you describe, both with Chikara, and with TE (although the TE
is less consistent, but stronger when it does hit).
And the "second fast look", combined with the "look of
surprise", IMO, is a 100% 'mone hit. I've had EXACTLY the same types of hits, and have posted on that before. To
me, that's a difference between a 'mone hit, and just simple attraction. You can almost tell the 'mones are
involved, because of the surprise element. I.E., the chick has already seen, evaluated, and categorized you in .34
microseconds, all subconsiously, as chicks are prone to do. But, the 'mones seem to add an extra element that
wasn't previously there, and this throws them off guard for just a split second, and you get the second look, with
the surprise expression - almost like they are experiencing a deja vu, of sorts.
I think you've gotten
good advice already on how to proceed. I would recommend against seeking canned material to use on her, and instead,
just be playfully flirtatious, without being submissive, in the context of the moment. I also agree you should
mirror her behavior a bit, do a bit of the same on again/off again (known elsewhere as a "push/pull" tactic), to
raise her level of interest. One day, chat her up, the next day ignore her, etc. This is like deep sea fishing,
you're going to have to pull on the line a bit, and then let it go slack, back and forth.
Most early dating
relationships seem to follow a general Attraction->Rapport->Seduction pattern. It seems like you've already got
some attraction between your physical appearance, your flirting, and your 'mones.
The mistake most guys make in
this phase, is that they then escalate to asking for the phone number, or the date, without establishing rapport. If
you only have attraction, but not rapport, and then try to get the #, they are usually not emotionally invested
enough to respond, and they give the kneejerk "I have a boyfriend" reaction, whether they really have one or
not.
You need to build up some rapport with her. Maybe, one day when you are chatting her up, you can try to find
some common ground or interest, and then, in subsequent meetings, playfully bust her on it.
For instance, maybe
you both really like buying collectibles of some type (just bear with me here, it's an example, not a routine
. In
subsequent meetings, ask her how her collecting is going, playfully tease her she overpaid for this or that, etc.
Hopefully it goes without saying that your playful teasing needs to have a fun, sexual undertone to it, and gets her
thinking of you in terms of a potential lover, rather than a friend. Plenty of advice out there on how to do that,
I'm not going to repeat it here.
Then, when some event comes up featuring your common interest, you mention it
to her. You don't necessarily ask for her to go with you, just mention you were thinking about going, has she ever
been to one of those before, etc. If she still doesn't take the hint, but you get good IOI's, then mention maybe
you should go together. Assuming she agrees, you finish off the convo, and then when walking away, almost as an
afterthought, say "oh wait, let me get your number so I can call you for directions/in case I get lost/to confirm
that day/whatever. Just as if you were setting up an appointment with a male friend to go out to a bar - you
wouldn't be all "umm, so, uh, dude, do you think I'd could like, get your number - I mean, you know, just to call
you for this event, not to harass you or anything", he'd look at you like you were a freak, right? Same with this.
Getting the digits should just be a natural, flowing part of the interaction, that comes from your already
established attraction and rapport.
That's a long way around, but you asked about getting *THIS* girl, not just
any girl. In this environment, she is at a very high level of social value (I know exactly what you mean by the
cable crunch/ass display move, seen that so many times), so a straight approach will most likely get shot down. You
either have to raise your value level to her own (called "value calibration" on those "other" sites), or lower hers
to meet your own, with tactics like "neg hits", "freezouts", "takeways", and "push/pull". Really though, with your
already having the attraction somewhat established, I think that would be over-complicating the issue.
Or, you
could scrap all that, and go direct, walk right up to her, and say "You know, it seems a little ridiculous this game
we're playing, when we're so obviously attracted to one another. I'd like to have coffee some time, so we could
sit down, and get to know one another a little better." Assuming she agrees, then just get the # like above. May
work, may not, but at least you'd know where you stood for sure, and that would then free you up to concentrate on
other prospects. Wait, what the heck am I saying, you should be concentrating on other prospects simultaneously
anyway....
Good luck!
Bookmarks