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  1. #91
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    Cool sounds like a hopeless MindFuque... wake up, move on

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    there are mental freakshows where the best decision is to walk away.... this Arab girl-woman

    obviously has some serious psychological problems with intimacy. Unhook your brain from her mildly deranged behavior

    while you still have your self respect and sanity intact. Rule #1 = where there's smoke, there's fire.

    Translation: if someone acts strangely, unpredictably, their choices don't make emotional sense BEFORE you become

    involved, you may be guaranteed that that person will become maddeningly, disgustingly weird AFTER you're in the

    relationship... Rule #2 = when you see you're in a losing game, cut your losses as fast as you can. OR... when you

    find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Rule #3 =
    people who lack self respect don't respect other people either.

    People with little self respect are capable of the most incredibly fucked up things. Therefor: if you sense that you

    are being turned into an "emotional toy", she doesn't see you as an independent human being, she see you as an

    extension of her own weird thought processes.
    Summation: you go to the store and want to buy some food to cook.

    You see a delicious chicken. You imagine it roasting in your oven. You pick it up and smell it, only to sense that

    the meat is rotten.... you have an immediate visceral response that no way are you going to cook and eat that

    chicken. For sure you will be sick all right. Think like that with people, if they smell like they'll make you

    sick, they will make you sick.

  2. #92
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Great analogies! You sound as

    if you've been there and done that. Maybe even bought the tee shirt?
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    Rule #3 =

    people who lack self respect don't respect other people either. People with little self respect are

    VERY capable of the most incredibly fucked up things.
    I know he's not listening,

    because he hasn't learned to yet, but I've decided to pull it out so it can be seen again. This is definitely a

    KEEPER for life!

    READ TO ACHIEVE!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  4. #94
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    Wink have tee shirt, coffee mug, assorted memorabilia to trade

    in retrospect the biggest mistake I made (about a thousand times before it sank in to my

    tiny mind) was that if you believe in the golden rule others will believe in it too. You know, be empathetic and

    understanding, and Voila ! they will, just like magic, see the light, wake up to all their foolishness, and be

    better human beings by dawn tomorrow. Sloooooowly it came to be known that patterns of behavior are set early in

    life, even small changes in personality/behavior/ethics are hard to achieve, annnnnd the kicker for me was that even

    the most fucked up, miserable creatures who repeat absurd self destructive + other destructive shit are

    fundamentally content with who they are, or are too lazy and full of dumbass inertia to change who they are even if

    they suspect they ought to, or are so egotistic any useful criticism is seen as a grevious personal affront, or are

    so clueless they run around crashing into other lives, leave wreakage strewn about, and then lurch forth like

    automotons to crash into the next unsuspecting victim. Lesson : don't waste your time trying to change other

    people. Your best defense is early detection and avoidance. Stay way the hell away from no-win mind games. If you

    want other people to change, work on yourself, find a good psychologist and discuss recurrent patterns in your life

    and why they may keep cropping up if that's what you need to do. Read a pile of behavioral books....
    #1

    suggestion for inforative reading Emotional Vampires: Dealing With Deople Who Drain You Dry by Albert Bernstein,

    Ph.D.... a quote from the book "Emotional Vampires will use you to meet whatever needs they happen to be

    experiencing at the moment. They have no qualms about taking your effort, your money, your love, your attention,

    your admiration, your body or your soul to meet their insatiable cravings. They want what they want and they don't

    much care how you feel about it".... for $12.95 paperback it was a good investment, my copy is well undelined by

    now.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Great analogies!

    You sound as if you've been there and done that. Maybe even bought the tee shirt?


    The

    one that says "Kick Me" on the back?

    Emotional Vampires is a great book.
    Last edited by Holmes; 04-13-2005 at 11:31 AM.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  6. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    annnnnd the

    kicker for me was that even the most fucked up, miserable creatures who repeat absurd self destructive + other

    destructive shit are fundamentally content with who they are, or are too lazy and full of dumbass inertia to

    change who they are even if they suspect they ought to, or are so egotistic any useful criticism is seen as a

    grevious personal affront, or are so clueless they run around crashing into other lives, leave wreakage strewn

    about, and then lurch forth like automotons to crash into the next unsuspecting victim.


    Lesson :

    don't waste your time trying to change other people. Your best defense is early detection and avoidance. Stay way

    the hell away from no-win mind games.
    It's taken me yearsssssssssss to get that lesson!

    No one could have ever make me believe that IF the other person saw you as a good person, they wouldn't

    WANT to change. I stayed and stayed, always saying to myself, "her eyes will open, and she'll have no choice but

    WANT to be a part of something special, and change. Not!

    You can learn a lot ... from a

    dummy!


    Thumbs up, Surfs-Up!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  7. #97
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    surfs_Up

    there

    are mental freakshows where the best decision is to walk away.... this Arab girl-woman obviously has some serious

    psychological problems with intimacy. Unhook your brain from her mildly deranged behavior while you still have your

    self respect and sanity intact. Rule #1 = where there's smoke, there's fire. Translation: if someone acts

    strangely, unpredictably, their choices don't make emotional sense BEFORE you become involved, you may be

    guaranteed that that person will become maddeningly, disgustingly weird AFTER you're in the relationship... Rule #2

    = when you see you're in a losing game, cut your losses as fast as you can. OR... when you find yourself in a hole,

    stop digging. Rule #3 =
    people who lack self respect don't respect other people either. People with little self

    respect are capable of the most incredibly fucked up things. Therefore: if you sense that you are being turned into

    an "emotional toy", she doesn't see you as an independent human being, she see you as an extension of her own weird

    thought processes.
    Summation: you go to the store and want to buy some food to cook. You see a delicious chicken.

    You imagine it roasting in your oven. You pick it up and smell it, only to sense that the meat is rotten.... you

    have an immediate visceral response that no way are you going to cook and eat that chicken. For sure you will be

    sick all right. Think like that with people, if they smell like they'll make you sick, they will make you

    sick.
    I think she has more psychological problems than just intimacy. I also think she has low self esteem

    which is why she always seeks attention from as many men as she can and won't accept dates or friendly

    conversation.

    I was just going to say that I'm calling it quits on this clearly conceited female while I still

    have my pride and self respect.

    I can understand and respect different cultures systems when it comes to dating

    but too much is too much.


    Belgareth

    Great analogies! You sound as if you've been there and done

    that. Maybe even bought the tee shirt?
    I've come to realize that we've all been through something

    totally outrageous and abnormal when it comes to relationships, dating, and the opposite sex.

    I guarantee that

    if all of us get together and discuss our most wildest and infuriating dating tales, that we could make a movie or

    something. I bet each of us has a tale to share that we each have not experienced yet.

    MobleyC57

    I

    know he's not listening, because he hasn't learned to yet, but I've decided to pull it out so it can be seen

    again. This is definitely a KEEPER for life!

    READ TO ACHIEVE!
    Of course I'm

    listening. If you haven't read my previous replies, I stated that I'm giving up on this woman. Just too confusing

    and whatever the cultural differences are, no guy should have to go through this to take someone out for a drink.





    What I will say is if anything were to happen, it would be short term or maybe even just a one night stand.

    And to get that short term dating or one night stand I would most likely have had to spend $150 on dinner and I

    might not even get anything out of it after that as that's the type of woman she is.

    She is at the gym 6 days a

    week maybe even 7. I'm not sure about Sunday as I'm never there. But there is the few days she won't show, but

    for the most part she's there 6 days a week. The gym seems to be %80 if not more of her life. The gym is her social

    scene where she gets her attention from. As I stated earlier, I'm sure she sees older and richer men who don't go

    to the gym and maybe don't live around here.

    So I'm going to cut my losses and ignore her which will sure piss

    her off but that's what I want to piss her off. I'm going to look for someone much less complicated.

    Sorry

    guys about all this, I thought there may have been an oportunity with her for something. I have been minding my own

    business until this she started up with this crap a few weeks ago.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    MobleyC57



    Of course I'm listening. If you haven't read my previous replies, I stated that I'm giving up on this woman.

    Just too confusing and whatever the cultural differences are, no guy should have to go through this to take someone

    out for a drink.
    One can listen, and not understand/see the point, which is what I meant, Sig.

    One

    more thing, DO NOT let the forum persuade you into doing what YOU do not want to do. It's always best to see it for

    yourself. Pretty much, everything said has value to it, but no one really knows what's on her mind. Months of

    torture deserves an answer.

    The confusion is what's got you.

    And before I forget ...

    I'm reserving all rights to be wrong!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  9. #99
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes


    The

    one that says "Kick Me" on the back?

    Emotional Vampires is a great book.
    Uh...yup! I got me

    one of them thar shirts m'self. Didn't reckon so danged many folks could read and follie directions.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  10. #100
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    Sigh... My 2 cents: Yes indeed, one

    lesson I have learned in life is that some people are just no damn good. Period.

    You can't change 'em. That's

    the way they come. The only change possible must come from within themselves. And don't hold your breath waiting.

  11. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Uh...yup! I got

    me one of them thar shirts m'self. Didn't reckon so danged many folks could read and follie

    directions.
    Is it the white one with white print?

    Them shirts is sure expensive! (Got a pile

    of 'em maself.)
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  12. #102
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    Is it the white

    one with white print?

    Them shirts is sure expensive! (Got a pile of 'em maself.)
    I think mine all

    have the flashing orange and green neon print.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  13. #103
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    MobleyC57

    One can

    listen, and not understand/see the point, which is what I meant, Sig.

    One more thing, DO NOT let the forum

    persuade you into doing what YOU do not want to do. It's always best to see it for yourself. Pretty much,

    everything said has value to it, but no one really knows what's on her mind. Months of torture deserves an answer.



    The confusion is what's got you.

    And before I forget ... I'm reserving all rights to be

    wrong!
    Yes and I do understand as well as listen nor am I letting anyone else influence me. I've

    also discussed her with my friends say I should ignore her for a week and see what she does. And I truly feel she is

    just playing with my head for her daily dose of attention that she feeds off of.

    Being the red blooded male that

    I am, I don't have time in this world to waste on a woman such as this one. If she comes to me that's cool, if

    not, I'm not going out of my way.

    Rbt

    Sigh... My 2 cents: Yes indeed, one lesson I have learned in

    life is that some people are just no damn good. Period.

    You can't change 'em. That's the way they come. The

    only change possible must come from within themselves. And don't hold your breath waiting.
    You are right

    but we can't forget the possiblity of cultural clashes regarding dating in this situation. Either way, as I already

    said, no guy should have to go through this for a date.

    I'm going to ignore her for awhile, I barely give her

    any attention as it is and she doesn't like it. I want to see how she reacts when I ignore her for awhile.

    How

    do you guys think she will react to that?

    A. pissed off
    B. she will go out of her way a little more to talk to

    me
    C. won't give a f^ck

    I personally think it will be C (just like the answers to all multiple choice tests in

    school LOL, just kidding).

    She is too consumed with herself to give a f^ck. In case Wood Elf replies, no Wood, I

    would not want to be with a woman like this. But it would've been fun to be able to say that I took her out a few

    times and had fun.
    But I would not want to date this woman or marry her as I can tell she's after the bucks.

  14. #104
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    Wow, this is the thread that

    just won't die, even though it deserves a quick and painless death. I followed along a lot over the weekend, but

    then, got busy with life and stuff.

    Since that time, the conclusions that have been reached are that this girl is

    "Arabic", (are we SURE about that), that her "cultural differences" make her impossible to understand, that she is

    conceited, stuck up, a gold digger, playing head games, that her father may have come to the gym to give his

    blessing for a date (um, no), and lord knows what else. Yet, from what I can tell, the extent of the actual

    conversations have been : "hi, how you doing", "ok", "did you have a good weekend", "yeah it was ok", "what did you

    do", "not much, well, gotta run." Wow.

    I suppose I should make the assumption then, that basically, no one

    has asked this chic out yet. International Playboy's story was very appropriate to the thread. I'd bet even

    money, good money, that some naive dumb new guy will join this gym, see her, like what he sees, ask her out, she'll

    say yes, because she has no life and is always at the gym, and here someone FINALLY had the guts to come up and ask

    her out. And she'll go out with him, just because he asked.

    What about "cookin' up trouble", girl, then?

    Gonna ask her out, or just analyze the situation for months on end? Wring our hands over whether her ring is an

    engagement ring, or just a promise ring, or maybe it's just jewelry, but we're not really sure, so we'll agonize

    over the color, cut, clarity, carat weight, and quality of the gemstone, and make suppositions about what kind of

    man her supposed husband must be, and analyze her every minute reaction, when a simple "nice ring - are you

    married", would probably tell us everything we want to know.....

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    Did anyone here ever stop to think

    that maybe the chick is just fine, and Sigfreed is the one with the problems?

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    Thanks all sorry

    for the length, but there was a lot of needed detail to describe.
    Sounds like you've practically wrapped it

    up. Just initiate a friendly date, the situation should steadily escalate from there. If you are unsure how to be

    more direct, just say, "Hi, you seem very cool, if you are free Friday, would you like to [insert]?"
    Last edited by Sir Louis; 04-14-2005 at 05:18 AM.

  17. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    in retrospect

    the biggest mistake I made (about a thousand times before it sank in to my tiny mind) was that if you believe in the

    golden rule others will believe in it too. You know, be empathetic and understanding, and Voila ! they will, just

    like magic, see the light, wake up to all their foolishness, and be better human beings by dawn tomorrow.

    Sloooooowly it came to be known that patterns of behavior are set early in life, even small changes in

    personality/behavior/ethics are hard to achieve, annnnnd the kicker for me was that even the most fucked up,

    miserable creatures who repeat absurd self destructive + other destructive shit are fundamentally content with who

    they are, or are too lazy and full of dumbass inertia to change who they are even if they suspect they ought to, or

    are so egotistic any useful criticism is seen as a grevious personal affront, or are so clueless they run around

    crashing into other lives, leave wreakage strewn about, and then lurch forth like automotons to crash into the next

    unsuspecting victim. Lesson : don't waste your time trying to change other people. Your best defense is early

    detection and avoidance. Stay way the hell away from no-win mind games. If you want other people to change, work on

    yourself, find a good psychologist and discuss recurrent patterns in your life and why they may keep cropping up if

    that's what you need to do. Read a pile of behavioral books....
    #1 suggestion for inforative reading Emotional

    Vampires: Dealing With Deople Who Drain You Dry by Albert Bernstein, Ph.D.... a quote from the book "Emotional

    Vampires will use you to meet whatever needs they happen to be experiencing at the moment. They have no qualms about

    taking your effort, your money, your love, your attention, your admiration, your body or your soul to meet their

    insatiable cravings. They want what they want and they don't much care how you feel about it".... for $12.95

    paperback it was a good investment, my copy is well undelined by now.
    The word you're looking for is

    narcissistic personality disorder, a lesser form of psychopathy. You might find Sam

    Vaknin's
    literature on NPD very interesting. I was in denial with my ex for a long time, and this was an

    invaluable resource to at least understanding the mechanisms behind the way she was. I'd say it was more of a

    grieving process than anything.

  18. #108
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    "this Arab girl-woman

    obviously has some serious psychological problems with intimacy."
    Isn't that a real stretch, even

    for armchair psychoanalysis, when behavioral observations are based on forum messages and hearsay? There's another

    side to this story--her side--and I bet it's an extremely different perspective.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  19. #109
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    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by tounge
    Did anyone here

    ever stop to think that maybe the chick is just fine, and Sigfreed is the one with the problems?

    It's been known to happen!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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    Default it's a congruity vs. incongruity thing

    yeah, were dealing with a hypothetical case, only a narrow description... OTOH how do you respond to

    the situation as described ? The possibilities are that, as they used to say all the time in NLP, "the map isn't

    the territory".... This is one guy's map, imagination, projection... for all we know it may be a composite figure,

    not fully true, an attempt to undeline a behavioral pattern...

    All that said, if you are interacting with

    another person and you are picking up strongly mixed emotional messages, such as well understood behaviors that are

    a species wide signal for attraction, interest, curiosity, or desire and, simultaneously you are beign sent well

    understood signals of rejection, disinterest, disgust, or belittlement, you are by definition experiencing

    INCONGRUITY....

    Incongruity may be used profesionally for interrogation as it induces as sense of confusion,

    helplessnesss, and compliance, as when it is applied in the classic good cop/bad cop routine, it may be used in

    dramatic storytelling, when something is out of place in a scene, like a fur coat hanging up in a greasy gas

    station, or it can be subtle, as the psychologists call them "minimal cues", like a guy who winces when you mention

    his brother... this is an entire study in itself... for instance a trainer, Dave Dobson (in his final years but

    still working, remarkably) with his Other Than Conscious Communication program makes congruity his primary

    focus...

    Anyway.... we don't know the true events in the gym.. what we do have is a not too off base

    description of incongruent behavior....which we can think about on its own terms. It is normal to experience low

    levels of incongruity throughout the day, everyone has multiple priorities, not all agendas are perfectly aligned,

    the saleman who sells you something may genuinely like you but he's also got to look out for himself, on the other

    side of the equation a good customer knows how to sort out the selling behavior from the true feeling and make a

    good decision that leaves the relationship intact.

    OTOH, there are more than enough crime shows on the cable

    channels which detail the most bizarre relationships, marriages, etc... where there must have been screaming

    incongruity from day one that was overlooked.... which suggests that some people are exceedingly incompetent in

    detecting incongruity, or they were raised in families where incongruity was "normal" and they have been programmed

    to think of incongruent behavior as the way humans are...

    The other legitimate explanation for incongruity is

    pseudo-incongruity where one culture has evolved a different, accepted behavioral pattern that ultimately makes

    sense within that culture. I have had aquaintances who have married into African families (and v.v.) who have

    travelled to Africa to meet their in-laws who were initially floored, weirded out beyond any possible expectation,

    by "normal, polite, standard" social customs... they weren't bad or awful behaviors, but from a middle class

    American perspection they made absolutely no sense, until they were understood through long exposure to the

    culture.

    Our hypothetical girl offers us a wealth of possibilities in either direction.... and like

    Kurosawa's film Rashomon, every participant has his or her own inner movie of what the truth is... a useful aside

    about psychology and psychologists... we rarely know what our own truth is, we might not recognize it if it was put

    right in front of us.... well intended people struggle for years to know themselves, what causes them to feel and

    think the way they do, their lives to have the shapes they have taken... and the best of psychologists must work

    with their experience, intuition, material they have studied... they almost never see the family dynamics first

    hand, or have spoken with the mother or father who created the person who the patient is... they can only respond to

    the information given, as we do here.

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    esk6969

    I suppose I

    should make the assumption then, that basically, no one has asked this chic out yet. International Playboy's story

    was very appropriate to the thread. I'd bet even money, good money, that some naive dumb new guy will join this

    gym, see her, like what he sees, ask her out, she'll say yes, because she has no life and is always at the gym, and

    here someone FINALLY had the guts to come up and ask her out. And she'll go out with him, just because he asked.



    What about "cookin' up trouble", girl, then? Gonna ask her out, or just analyze the situation for months on

    end? Wring our hands over whether her ring is an engagement ring, or just a promise ring, or maybe it's just

    jewelry, but we're not really sure, so we'll agonize over the color, cut, clarity, carat weight, and quality of

    the gemstone, and make suppositions about what kind of man her supposed husband must be, and analyze her every

    minute reaction, when a simple "nice ring - are you married", would probably tell us everything we want to

    know.....
    Well if anyone does ask this particular gym girl (the Arabic one), he will have a

    lot of bucks. And as I already said, she most likely is seeing someone occasionally who has dough, either her age or

    older. I've over heard other guys ask her out and she the majority of the time rejects them or goes out with them

    once to a fancy restauarnt say for $150 for a meal and doesn't call them back.

    As for the juice bar girl at the

    gym, she's only there once a week, twice at most so we're not exposed to eachother too often and some weeks I

    don't even see her. She doesn't work out there so I can't talk to her in the gym
    You're right about trying to

    figure out every last detail. I guess I'm just trying to avoid putting myself on the line. After all I am just back

    in the dating scene after 3 years. But then again if I don't ask, I won't know and I will have to ask a woman out

    sooner or later.

    I got a good look at the ring, it's a wide band, but thin with small empty circles all the

    way around. It could be silver or white gold I'm not sure and she doesn't have any other rings as just plain

    jewelry on her fingers.

    What's funny with me is, I don't always do well under pressure or on the spot. If

    I've met someone through a friend or at work let's say and it's someone I see either a couple times a week or

    everyday, I won't have a problem asking them out.

    But if it's someone that I have only spoken to twice, and

    don't know their name, I tend to be more nervous which is normal I guess. Normally w/o over analizing the

    situation, I try to learn as much as I can about the woman. If she lives at home, with friends or her BOYFRIEND. If

    she says she lives with her boyfriend I move on and I'm safe. Other wise I try to learn more about them and see

    what their situation is prior to asking them out for a drink.

    Toungue

    Did anyone here ever stop to

    think that maybe the chick is just fine, and Sigfreed is the one with the problems?
    The only problem I

    have is I am now totally new once again to the dating scene after having been with one woman for 3 years and it's

    always tough.

    As for this girl, I told you what she does, how she acts and so on. %80 or more of her life is the

    gym and that includes a large portion of her personal life as well. She feeds off of attention that men give her.



    Sir Louis

    Sounds like you've practically wrapped it up. Just initiate a friendly date, the situation

    should steadily escalate from there. If you are unsure how to be more direct, just say, "Hi, you seem very cool, if

    you are free Friday, would you like to [insert]?"
    Pretty much did. It think I'm going to see what's

    happening with the juice bar girl instead as there will be no cultural interferance.

    The word you're

    looking for is narcissistic personality disorder, a lesser form of psychopathy. You might find

    Sam Vaknin's literature on NPD very interesting. I was in denial with my ex

    for a long time, and this was an invaluable resource to at least understanding the mechanisms behind the way she

    was. I'd say it was more of a grieving process than anything.
    She could very well have this. But I know she

    certainly has self-esteem issues, other wise she wouldn't need sooo much attention and sooo much male attention.

    Most people I dated and they were very attractive, didn't flirt and want sooo much male attention. Then at the same

    time she wants the big bucks from a man.

    Not what I want in a woman.

    Gegogi

    Isn't that a real

    stretch, even for armchair psychoanalysis, when behavioral observations are based on forum messages and hearsay?

    There's another side to this story--her side--and I bet it's an extremely different perspective
    You are

    probably right that she has a totally different perspective. But the way she acts, flaunts herself around the gym,

    flirts with everyone and has many men of all ages following her around says a lot about her character.

    If she's

    not the way many of us guys at the gym think she is a c@#k teazer, (no offense ladies).

    I

    wouldn't want to have someone like that as a steady girlfriend. I want someone with more self respect than that. I

    want someone who is satisfied with the attention I give her and doesn't need to get extra from other men.



    MobleyC57

    It's been known to happen!
    Well you guys are wrong about me if you

    think that. As I said I've never dealt with anyone such as this.

    In all the past dating and sexual encounters

    I've had with women I've dated and been with, it was much smoother than this.

    I'd meet someone I like, or

    they'd bump into me. We'd get chatting, and if it was someone I'd see regularly we'd chat exchange personal info

    about our lives and then I'd ask them out for a drink or they'd ask me out. But the majority of the time I'd ask

    them out. I've never dated or been with anyone who played this many head games or needed sooo much attention from

    males and if she didn't get it that day, she'd be in a bad mood.

    There is nothing wrong with me. All my other

    dating experiences and new meetings have been much simpler. Yes I've dated ppl who have played hard to get but it

    only dragged on for a few weeks to a month not 3 or 4 months followed by signs of interest after only 4 months like

    with this Arab gym hottie.

    She is a conceited one I can assure you on that. And I don't need nor want to be

    with someone like that.

    I don't play head games, if I like someone and we get along and have had some

    meaningful conversations, I will ask them out plain and simple. I have not had that with this Arab hottie. Too much

    confusion and mixed signals. One day she flirts with me, the next she totally blows me off and ignores me. And it's

    been going on such as this for awhile now.

    Too much for me, I'm moving on.

    My next question is it

    appropriate to come right out to a woman you've spoken to a few times and thought there could be something if she

    has a boyfriend? Or is it better to just ask them for a drink?

    B/c I've been in a few situations where I've

    asked out a girl for a drink and met her at the bar or coffee shop, and either her boyfriend shows up or he meets

    her there after I arrive and I'm left saying to myself WTF? I asked you out and you bring your boyfriend and don't

    tell me. And no it's was never someone there to observe me like her brother. It actually was her boyfriend.



    That's a screwed up situation.

  22. #112
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    here is an advice from a

    guy who has dates/gone out with more middle eastern girl you've probably seen(I'm middle eastern origin),,, DON't

    EVER DATE a middle eastern girl(go one night stand with them) but NEVER DATE ONE. They'll rip you off and once you

    come to yourself you find out not just your wallet but your bank acount is empty.lol
    they're awsoem girls, i love

    them, but no one has taught them to spend a peny when they're out with a guy...

    cheers,

  23. #113
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    Our hypothetical

    girl offers us a wealth of possibilities in either direction.... and like Kurosawa's film Rashomon, every

    participant has his or her own inner movie of what the truth is...
    Time to consult the ghost!
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  24. #114
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    TexasHoldem22

    here

    is an advice from a guy who has dates/gone out with more middle eastern girl you've probably seen(I'm middle

    eastern origin),,, DON't EVER DATE a middle eastern girl(go one night stand with them) but NEVER DATE ONE. They'll

    rip you off and once you come to yourself you find out not just your wallet but your bank acount is

    empty.lol
    they're awsoem girls, i love them, but no one has taught them to spend a peny when they're out with a

    guy...

    cheers,
    Where are you from originally? I hope you haven't taken any offense to what I've

    said. So far from what I read in your reply, you may actually agree with me that this girl is probably out for the

    big bucks.

    You say go for one night stands with them? Won't her brothers come and beat you up for screwing

    their sister over like that? A couple of other members here said they've dated mid easter women, and their brothers

    attacked them when they broke up?


    Anyone what do you guys think about this situation here that I'm quoting

    myself on
    B/c I've been in a few situations where I've asked out a girl for a drink and met her at the bar

    or coffee shop, and either her boyfriend shows up or he meets her there after I arrive and I'm left saying to

    myself WTF? I asked you out and you bring your boyfriend and don't tell me. And no it's was never someone there to

    observe me like her brother. It actually was her boyfriend.

    That's a screwed up situation.

    TexasHoldem22? Belgareth? Wood Elf? MobleyC57? Anyone?

    Why would a girl knowingly accept to meet you for a

    drink and them come/have her boyfriend meet with you?

  25. #115
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    Who cares? I would have moved

    on at that stage.

    If she wants to explain then that's up to her, but I'm past caring by that point.
    CptKipling

    Information about pheromones: Pheromone Information Library

  26. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    Anyone what do

    you guys think about this situation here that I'm quoting myself on
    TexasHoldem22? Belgareth? Wood Elf?

    MobleyC57? Anyone?

    Why would a girl knowingly accept to meet you for a drink and them come/have her boyfriend

    meet with you?
    1 - You're in serious LJBF land, and/or she's really wants you to know it!
    2 - She's

    trying to make someone jealous.
    3 - She's smoking that imported crack.
    4 - You've found yourself attracted to a

    monster!
    5 - She's really from my area, and has no clue!

    Run! Run far! Run fast!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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    MobleyC57

    1 -

    You're in serious LJBF land, and/or she's really wants you to know it!
    2 - She's trying to make someone

    jealous.
    3 - She's smoking that imported crack.
    4 - You've found yourself attracted to a monster!
    5 - She's

    really from my area, and has no clue!

    Run! Run far! Run fast!
    Well number one is out of the

    question b/c she never told me she had a boyfriend or was married so I was just going on my business asking the

    girl/woman out.

    In some a couple of these situations I've been in, the answer has usually been number 2 and/or

    number 4.

    Last summer when I was still close to my girlfriend I had 2 girls in their mid 20's ask me out, and a

    sexy older woman who came straight out and said she wanted to go for a drink and see where it would lead.

    And I

    told all 3 straight up that I had a girlfriend. LOL now I'm kicking myself in the ass for turning them down

    considering I haven't met anyone new since I mutually ended the relationship in Febuary.

    CptKipling


    Who cares? I would have moved on at that stage.

    If she wants to explain then that's up to her, but I'm past

    caring by that point.
    Well if it's a female you really like you will be caring why she brings her

    boyfriend on what you made clear a date.

    I will never understand why some women play such immature games and

    waste ppl's time?

    I don't play games. I Know for sure that something is there I will ask them out.

  28. #118
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    Cool shhheeeeeeesh....

    now picture you

    asking a cute girl out and then bringing your girlfriend.... conjures up... either you're hinting at a threesome or

    you're a hopeless wacko or you're a hopeless wacko hinting at threesome.... confusing signals to say the least,

    and very tacky behavior... best to avoid all curveball games unless you feel like being the dog who plays fetch... a

    major waste of time and energy, sanity too.

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    surfs_Up

    now picture

    you asking a cute girl out and then bringing your girlfriend.... conjures up... either you're hinting at a

    threesome or you're a hopeless wacko or you're a hopeless wacko hinting at threesome.... confusing signals to say

    the least, and very tacky behavior... best to avoid all curveball games unless you feel like being the dog who plays

    fetch... a major waste of time and energy, sanity too.
    That's why I'm giving this Arabic gym hottie a

    taste of her own medicine and I'm ignoring her for a little while. I ignored her today, and I still saw her looking

    at me but no contact or conversing.

  30. #120
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    Ya know man, I'm still kinda

    amazed that this thread has not been shot down by some angry member with a shotgun. Actually, I think a few of you

    have tried, but we seem to have one tough son of a bitch on our hands. Sig, I honestly think that you need to make

    up your mind as to what you want this hellhole of a 'relationship' to become. If you want sex, ignoring her ass

    isn't going to make that happen. If you want to be friends with a hot chick (many good things can come out of

    that, as hot women know other hot women), ignoring her isn't going to do much good. If you want to seem like a

    confused, utterly senseless wackjob, then ignoring her is the way to go.

    Honestly, Mobley, I think they're both

    smoking that imported crack! ;-)

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