Originally Posted by
DumLuc
For the sake of the
discussion, here is something that DeAngelo has to say on the topic of the "nice" guy. Some of you might find it
interesting.
I have a lot of guys write me to say "I know this
girl who's beautiful and smart and attractive.
She
and I are great friends, we have everything in common,
and we get along perfectly... but she says that
she's
just not attracted to me..."
Have you ever noticed that:
1) The most attractive and interesting
women seem
to be attracted to men who don't treat them very well?
2) That the "nicer" you are to a woman the
more she
often seems to act like "just a friend" to you?
What's going on here? Didn't mom say to be "nice"
to girls?
Here's the deal: Women aren't usually romantically
attracted to "nice" guys. Women are attracted
to men
who are funny, confident, and mysterious. Good looks
don't hurt, but if you're not 6'4" tall and
model-handsome,
then you have to learn how to attract women with your
personality.
And being "nice" isn't
going to do it for you.
Awhile back, I mentioned an interesting book that
was written about the band "Motley
Crue". Remember
those guys?
Well, the book is called "The Dirt: Confessions
of the Worlds Most Notorious
Rock Band." As I read
through that book, I realized that these guys have
dated more of the world's most
attractive women than
anyone (except maybe Hugh Hefner).
In case you didn't know, the guys in Motley Crue
are not very "nice". They're famous for taking every
drug known to man, beating their women, fighting, and
having a lot of people die around them.
Now, the first thing most guys say is "Yea, but
they're rich and
famous..."
And this is true, they are rich and famous. But,
and it's a BIG ONE... all of the women that they
have
dated, married, and beaten up are ALSO RICH AND FAMOUS
TOO!
These are supermodels and playmates of the
year
and such. These women can date whoever they want.
Tommy Lee was MARRIED to both Heather Locklear AND
Pamela Anderson... remember?
These women didn't need Tommy Lee for his money
or his fame... they're dating
these guys for some
OTHER REASON!
Are you with me on this?
So what's going on here? And more importantly,
how can you use this information to be more successful
with women and dating?
First of all, don't go out
and start taking drugs
and beating up your dates. I mean, I know that an
occasional woman will drive a man to
drink, but I don't
recommend going "Motley Crue" on a girl... lol.
The first chapter of my book "Double Your
Dating"
is called "Women Don't Make Sense". Here's what I
mean...
I believe:
1) Women make decisions
very, very quickly about whether
a man is going to be "just a friend" or if he has
romantic potential, and once
her decision is made,
it's probably going to stay made.
2) These decisions are made "unconsciously", meaning
that women make all of them quickly and at a "gut
level".
3) If you know how, you make her feel attraction
feelings
rather than "friend" feelings.
4) The way to do it is to stop acting "nice" and start
acting,
well... something else... and I don't mean
"not nice".
So what DOES attract women? And how do you do
it
exactly?
Good questions...
At the beginning, I mentioned three qualities:
Funny, Confident, and
Mysterious.
Before I talk about each, I first have to remind
you that WOMEN DON'T USUALLY MAKE SENSE.
Remember
that.
Here's a good metaphor: Remember when you learned
to drive? It all made sense... turn the
wheel left
and go left, turn it right and go right...
But do you remember when you learned to back up?
Backing
up is a whole new game. Everything that used
to work now works in a different way. At first you
feel
disoriented. Turn the wheel left and go right...
and you have to learn how to maneuver with the back
wheels
staying straight while the front wheels turn...
all with your head turned around.
For most people, this takes
some time and practice.
But once you "get it" then you can do it anytime you
want.
Well, women are very
similar. At first it's very
confusing. You have to try things that don't seem
to make sense. But once you get
the hang of it, then
you see how it works and can make it work... just
like backing up a car.
As much as
many women would hate to admit it, there's
something very attractive about a man who is just a
little more
confident than he should be. And if you
combine this with the right amount of humor, you have
a magic
combination that will charm almost any woman.
Here are a few ways to use this idea:
1) When you first meet a
woman, tease her about something.
It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you do it early on.
For instance, you
might say: "So what's with the big
purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?" or maybe "Those
are some pretty
tall shoes, what are you like 4' tall
without them?" If you tease a woman, it shows that
you're not
intimidated by her, and that you have a fun
sense of humor. Key: Make sure you say something FUNNY.
If you
don't know how to be funny, get a book on it.
The test: If she's not laughing, then it wasn't funny!
2)
Look around at other things and seem kind of pre-occupied
when you first start talking to her. Make your funny
remarks with a carefree, detached tone. You want to
sound like you're talking to your best friend. Attractive
women are approached all the time. It's not attractive
to a woman when you look like you've just met Madonna.
This "just a little too confident" attitude is very
attractive to women... especially when it's combined
with
humor.
3) Don't answer her questions directly. Women love
to ask questions like: "What do you do?" and "Where
do you live?" and "Tell me about your family". Answer
with funny answers, and don't give her what she wants.
Most guys say "Oh, I'm an engineer" or "I'm a stock
broker". BORING,BORING. If she asks what you do, say
"Oh, funny you should ask. I'm a Calvin Klein Underwear
Model... What do you do?..." (This is especially funny
if it's OBVIOUS that you are NOT a model) Do you get
it? Keep it up and keep her laughing.
It's important
to remember that I'm not telling
you to be mean, or to be a jerk to women. I'm telling
you to start being
confident, funny, and mysterious.
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