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  1. #91
    Man of La Pancha
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    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Quote Originally Posted by wood elf
    Yes, but I

    have found him My man is gentle and loving. I have watched him many times at the dojo, he can protect me! He is

    mostly like Naughty wrote about a wolf.
    I'm not arguing...I was just teasing. I'm happy for

    you---well, I'm glad that you're happy, but, frankly, it doesn't do anything for me.

  2. #92
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    Cool R.E.S.P.E.C.T.... baby you gotta earn it....'cuz nobody owes you

    Do you love this insistent language you see in the personal ads on the

    websites.... "I DEMAND TO BE TREATED LIKE ROYALTY"... saw that on one of them, wondered to myself, how do you lay

    down the law in no uncertain terms like that ?

    I was always under the impression, excuse my lowly peasant

    error if'n I had it all wrong, that respect was unlike, say, a blue poker chip you toss in the pot, but rather a

    general appreciation for qualities in another person, something that makes that person exceptional, perhaps their

    courage, or diligence, or level of their humanity, or generosity, or dogged determination in the face of adversity,

    or capacity to grow when most of their contemporaries have closed up shop and gone home in the mental development

    department, unusual social skills..... ya know what I mean, we used to call these "virtues"... may sound kinda dated

    in these commodified times...

    Or maybe we're gettin' respect semantically confused with good manners and

    common courtesy and the capacity to make someone else our emotional focal point for longer than we might interact

    with a pet chihuahua.

    Common courtesy is a basic ingredient, like flour in a recipe for making cookies.... no

    flour, no cookies, no matter what else you have going on. BUT, if some person demands that I put them up on a

    pedestal and treat them as if they are above and beyond the common run of humanity without any exceptional efforts

    on their part it's pretty clear that they are afflicted with 1., histrionic personality disorder, will forever be

    an emotional energy draining cosmic void of neediness 2., were raised by immature, narcissistic parents who

    projected
    ludicrous distortions onto their perfectly nice kid who internalized them and now needs five years of

    intense therapy, 3. is borderline mentally retarded, or 4., is the offspring of some folks who are so freaking rich

    and powerful that I'm always going to come up looking second rate next to Uber-Dad and unless I morph into Donald

    Trump with better hair, game over.

  3. #93
    Phero Pro NaughtieGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wood elf
    Naughty

    Girl:

    We look for the same in a man. Someone who can be strong and protect me and who is gentle at the same

    time. He needs a will and life of his own and never changes his mind just because he thinks I want him too. There

    are many more things, that is just a part of it.

    You are strong willed too?
    I haven't really had

    the time to read this entire thread. But I wanted to answer your question.

    Oh - you have me laughing here! Yes,

    I am strong willed! I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. What helps me alot is to ask myself "Hey -

    In the grand scheme of things - How important is this?" (Regarding whatever it is I might feel upset about at the

    time). It puts things back into perspective and allows me to say "Sure Darling" without feeling resentful about it.

    In the end, isn't a harmonious couple relationship so much more important than what channel we are going to watch

    or what opinion we have about Jane Fonda?

    One of the things I love about my man is his integrity to the values

    he has established for himself. They mostly mesh with my values, so I admire him for it.

  4. #94
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    "...I'd like to say that

    I'm looking for an attractive, confident woman with a good sense of humor and who's very comfortable with her

    sexuality...
    I'd add intelligent, well educated, artistic and extremely naughty to that list! In

    reality, I feel fortunate if I score on 1 out of 5 points. It may be faster to get a young GF and "train" her while

    she's still impressionable, e.g., send her to college and studio instruction, workout with her, travel the globe,

    watch porn together, etc.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  5. #95
    Full Member wood elf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NaughtyGirl
    I haven't

    really had the time to read this entire thread. But I wanted to answer your question.

    Oh - you have me laughing

    here! Yes, I am strong willed! I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. What helps me alot is to ask

    myself "Hey - In the grand scheme of things - How important is this?" (Regarding whatever it is I might feel upset

    about at the time). It puts things back into perspective and allows me to say "Sure Darling" without feeling

    resentful about it. In the end, isn't a harmonious couple relationship so much more important than what channel we

    are going to watch or what opinion we have about Jane Fonda?

    One of the things I love about my man is his

    integrity to the values he has established for himself. They mostly mesh with my values, so I admire him for

    it.
    You can say I am strong willed too. I have been independent my whole life. My father jokes that the

    first thing I said was "Me do it!" Belgareth is funny as he will not argue with me. No matter how angry or upset I

    get he calmly listens then does whatever he thinks is right. After some time I learned that it is a waste of energy

    getting mad as it does not have any effect on him. Calm, well reasoned words can sway him. I have learned to use

    those instead.

    I do not always agree with his values as I was raised Catholic and he has no religion. He does

    live within his values and standards and does not vary or make excuses for them. I respect that. He honors and

    respects my values though he sometimes points out the contradictions inherent in my religion.

    Yes, I believe a

    harmonious relationship is the best and both must work towards that goal.

  6. #96
    Phero Pro NaughtieGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gegogi
    I'd add

    intelligent, well educated, artistic and extremely naughty to that list! In reality, I feel fortunate if I score on

    1 out of 5 points. It may be faster to get a young GF and "train" her while she's still impressionable, e.g., send

    her to college and studio instruction, workout with her, travel the globe, watch porn together, etc.
    If I

    were 18 and single I'd certainly come and check you out Gegogi! Sounds like fun! <img>

  7. #97
    King of the coupons!
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    Quote Originally Posted by NaughtyGirl
    If I were 18

    and single I'd certainly come and check you out Gegogi! Sounds like fun! <img>
    Me too!!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  8. #98
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    my gf is exactly like how

    gegogi described, and shes only 18... boy am i a happy camper

  9. #99
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    There is a reason that

    younger women and older men work out.Statisticly speaking,marriages in which the man is older by seven or more years

    than his mate...up to about fifteen years difference,are more sucsessful that marriages where the age difference is

    smaller or larger.Women can respect and admire man who is alittle older and better established and more stable but

    not so much older that they have no common ground.Men,on the other hand tend to appreciate and care more for a woman

    who is younger and more "vulnerable." They may in fact not realy be "vulnerable," but men are more protective of and

    attentive to a woman that they perceive to be in need of "protection." Between those two things,you end up with two

    people who actualy like being together and whos actions are appreciated by the other partner.The women I have dated

    who are my own age(late 30's)have very little respect for men in general and even less for the man thay are with if

    he is the same age.Younger women on the other hand tend to treat me with respect and even alittle admiration.Anybody

    care to add to or refute this? I love a good debate.

  10. #100
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    Even at my age of 17, girls even a

    grade or so lower treat me with so much more respect it's not even funny. People in general do. I guess it's the

    schoolage excitment of being around an older guy/girl that makes you feel important that they let you be around

    them. Albiet, some highstatus HB don't, that's another story.

  11. #101
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    My girlfriend is 20 years

    younger than me. She claims to have been disgusted with the shallow BS of guys her own age. One of the

    charcteristics she most admires is the lack of games and pretensions.

    In my case, what dirty old man wouldn't

    want to date a cute young woman with a good education and the prospect of making lots of money? The truth is she's

    smart and intelligent, well educated and completely lacks the bitterness and cynicism so many single women in their

    late 30s and up seem to have. You couldn't call her vulnerable because she's more like a lit stick of dynamite

    with a twisted sense of humor. I am not tolerant of the weak female role, I want an equal relationship. She would

    not tolerate taking a subordinate role either.

    The biggest single thing is our mutual respect and admiration for

    the other. I don't know how that compares with other couples or fits your theory but there it is.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  12. #102
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    Cool Frustration Nation looking for Sensation

    from my perch here on the margins of CorporateLand I see a frightful multitude of men and women both,

    who have been set up for lives of low grade misery on account of buying into seductively marketed package of "the

    good life" or "conformity+ambition=domination" or some such cleverly packaged lifestyle crapola. Playing the game,

    working within the system, yeah, it can do wonders for you if you know how to use it without it using you too badly.

    Where the hardworking true believers, and heck, some of the mediocre slobs who wanted a ride on the gravy train,

    screwed up and got embittered, frustrated was that they didn't appreciate that thinking for oneself and learning

    how to live life according to one's own inner compass is hard work in itself, it takes outrageous mental stamina to

    find one's own path that avoids the pitfalls of grey conformity or idiotic, ineffectual acts of rebellion...what

    often happens is that men and women find themselves trapped in life tunnel, that's not exactly right, they've

    actually been in that tunnel since they were four or five years old, what happens is they start becoming aware of

    the tunnel, as they enter their thirties and flush through the tubes into their fourties and fifties, their thinking

    gradually grows to be more and more about the tunnel, and naturally they blame who is nearest for the tunnel, SHE

    made this damn tunnel, NO! HE made this damn tunnel... but there you are, in a network of family relations, business

    contacts, local politics, your education, your degree of clout, the potential impact of divorce on all of that,

    scandals, credit ratings, maybe this has been wisely set up to permit fascinating change and growth later in life,

    or maybe it was set up like horse blinders to prevent you from any peripheral vision....

  13. #103
    Phero Dude
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    Anyone reading the post

    above should realy think hard about what was just said.It is so true it's alittle scary.Our society,here in the

    states and all over the world has been carefuly designed to creat conformity and uniformity within the heard.The

    concept is simple enough..."If we convince you that the way to happyness is to conform to the wisdom we have

    prescribed,get your education and pull your cart for the company like a good little mule,you will be rewarded with

    the things you see in all of the advertisements we bombard you with on the T.V." There has always been a huge class

    of people thruout history that has simply bowed thier heads,bent thier back to the work and not asked too many

    questions.Go along with what the rest of the heard is doing and dont think too much.Many people suspect that the

    whole idea behind "mid-life crissis" is that at some point,our over encumbered minds begin to long for the freedom

    that we have been told about all our lives and still havent found...even though we played the game and lived by the

    model they created.The model that was created to do nothing more than enslve the masses and keep the heard calm

    enough so that they could make a profit and live the good life they sold to the rest of the world.



    Belgareth...your experiance is almost exactly what I am talking about.Young women can RESPECT an older man and

    even admire him for his stability,earned wisdom and thier ability to be vulnerable with him even if they arent

    vulnerable.TRUST.Men have a funny habbit of appreciating a woman that respects and admires them and holds them in

    high esteem.As a result...tend to respond to them with respect and admiration in return.One of the things we all

    seek in our lives is to be with someone that we regard highly...who regards us highly.It does a person no good to be

    in a relationship where the person we hold in high esteem regards us as...inadaquate.Something I have seen all too

    often are girls dating guys that for whatever reason they found attractive...who treat them like an unwanted

    growth.For a time,this will encourage a woman to simply try harder to get him to love her.But sooner or later she

    grows weary of the game and moves on.I have met many men in the same boat.Married to a woman who treats them like he

    is an incompetent shrub and he takes it...assuming that at some point,if he tries hard enough...she will respect

    him.Sooner or later,that little game ends too.How can you love a person that holds you in contempt?Worse...if you

    are willing to be held with contempt,what does that say about your own feeling of self worth?How can we love and

    respect others if we have no love or respect for ourselves?This whole silly mess gets very very complicated in a big

    hurry.

    Okay...the soap box is free...I need to take my meds...anybody else?

  14. #104
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Sure. I'll have what they're

    having.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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