It's gotta be
equal... If you are just talking about her, you could come off as a little too eager to please, wannabe mysterious,
or just simply devoid of personality. And you also run the risk of establishing a precedent in which her personality
dominates (her views and stances being those that are most important) You also want her to be able to get to know
you. If you only talk about her, she can only make assumptions about you. Some of which may be accurate, but some of
which may in fact lead to you being placed in your hated 'nice asexual guy' bracket.
I am not actually a
fan of trying to establish a standard conversation system. If you can't talk to a girl naturally: finding subjects
of mutual interest, then the chances are that the only thing you could take from the relationship would be sex.
Since I really dont know what you are looking for, (knowing that you have recently come out of a long term
relationship with a hottie) you may be happy to have some good old casual sex.
The only advice I could offer
(since this stuff can't really be taught, just learned by oneself - and I imagine you already have good skills in
this area, considering the trackrecord that you have given!) is that you should have pastimes, hobbies and strong
views. Passion about things will provide you with endless topics of converation, many of which may be shared!
However, in the same breath, you should avoid any areas of narcissims or piosness. Obvious, really... but self
importance in the guise of confidence is a huge turn off!
Fact is, it's a cliche. Different strokes for
different folks. Talking about school/work may make one girl happy (on a level of establishing personal knowledge)
while another may thrive on dicussing any/all sports that you both watch/participate in. Politics can divide an
entire room full of girls into some thinking you are a dull, overopinionated blowhard; a concerned and interesting
being; an activist etc etc etc.... Travel us usualy a hit, but can leave some people cold. (especially if you've
never left your hometown!
)
So long as you are interesting and have things going on in your life,
conversation will come easy!
Good luck
Steve
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