"I'm not interested." = direct rejection
"I have a boyfriend." = indirect
rejection
We live in a non-confrontational society. It's a social norm in the United States that in order to be
polite, you must allow the other person to save face. In addition, you are also saving face. On one hand, the other
person isn't being rejected directly, so the person's ego leaves intact because you're just not
available...nothing against the person. On the other hand, you get to save face because you don't have to turn
someone down and look like a jerk.
Speaking of brutal honesty, I don't get why you're asking questions to
which you probably already know the answers but want to hear someone say it's because the people you are asking out
are jerks and good people aren't like that. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're
still hurting from the loss of your last relationship (mutual or not, it still hurts losing that sense of
partnership, safety, and reassurance after so long) and you're not having self-confidence issues. I'd take your
topics of conversation as a source of validation and support to keep your mind occupied until you get things back
together. I find it strange that someone who still maintains a healthy sex life and obviously has the occasional
romantic/intimate opportunity (emotionally speaking) would be focusing so much on the girls he can't get, but to
each his own.
Saying that was uncomfortable for me because social norms and personal morals say I shouldn't be
so blunt because I wouldn't want someone saying that to me. Now do you get why these girls are saying "I have a
boyfriend," instead of saying, "I don't want to go out with you."?
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