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  1. #1
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    Default What's the best way to meet new ppl after being in a long term relationship? Do you e

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    What's the best way to meet new ppl after being in a long term

    relationship? Do you ever find it hard to "get back into the game" after a long term relationship ends?

    I think

    this is more less my biggest problem. I've noticed with other long term relationships I've been in, when they end

    you get "rusty" so to speak. Mainly b/c you have been used to being with one person and you've already gone through

    the courting process with them.

    I've found that the longer the relationship is, the rustier you become in the

    dating world for obvious reasons.

    Do any of you find that as you get older it seems as though there are less

    available ppl around? I'm noticing this. A girl I met online who actually turned out to go to my highschool. She

    just turned 29 years old so she's almost 2 years older than me.

    I met her on a dating site and she said she

    broke up with ehr boyfriend of 4 years in the fall. He really hurt her and they were supposed to be married as he is

    32 years old. He told her to never call him again or he'd never answer her calls and he was going to screw as many

    other women as he could. He moved to Toronto for school and has already been with other women.

    She's gone out

    with a few other guys as well. She told me that he contacted her and wanted to come and see her. Now she's dating

    him again after he hurt her.

    Someone who's been with her for 4 years doesn't leave much room for a new

    guy.

    Since my ex and I mutually ended the relationship, I seem to meet women in this situation as the girl I met

    online. I'd like to take her out, but she's into her X and I haven't heard from her or seen her online all week.

    I guess with the Easter weekend she may have gone to Toronto to visit him.

    Anyway what's the best way to get

    your game back on and meet available ppl? I'm not really into the club/bar scene anymore as I've grown out of it.

    I go once in awhile for a couple of drinks but not to pick up.

    What do you guys think? & yes I'd like to hear a

    woman's opinion, Silksand perhaps?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Full Member wood elf's Avatar
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    There are many places to meet

    women better than bars and clubs. I think you will have better luck in relationships if you avoid those places. Many

    of my friends meet men on campus and in classes. Others meet men doing interesting things. One friend met a fine man

    on a summer field trip with a geology class, they are to be married this summer. Friendly1 speaks of dance class.

    That might be a good place to meet women if dance interests you. Last summer we went to some outside plays and

    concerts. It is a relaxed, social thing to do. We met many fine people at those events.

    We are active people who

    like to meet other people like us that share common interest. Do you have a hobby or some activity you enjoy? If it

    can be done socially it probably is and would be a good place to be to meet people. I tell you to meet people not

    only women. You will find that many men can introduce you to women they know. Also that women feel more comfortable

    getting to know a new person in a mixed crowd of people having fun.

  3. #3
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    wood elf


    There

    are many places to meet women better than bars and clubs. I think you will have better luck in relationships if you

    avoid those places. Many of my friends meet men on campus and in classes. Others meet men doing interesting things.

    One friend met a fine man on a summer field trip with a geology class, they are to be married this summer. Friendly1

    speaks of dance class. That might be a good place to meet women if dance interests you. Last summer we went to some

    outside plays and concerts. It is a relaxed, social thing to do. We met many fine people at those events.

    We are

    active people who like to meet other people like us that share common interest. Do you have a hobby or some activity

    you enjoy? If it can be done socially it probably is and would be a good place to be to meet people. I tell you to

    meet people not only women. You will find that many men can introduce you to women they know. Also that women feel

    more comfortable getting to know a new person in a mixed crowd of people having fun.
    It's too bad this

    forum doesn't have more local ppl. That would be a good idea, maybe the forum could also have a dating section for

    ppl in different localities to meet. I agree that women would rather meet ppl in public places until they know

    someone better as would I.

    As far as school is concerned I'm returning to school for one year and I doubt there

    will be many women in my computer course (not being sexist as the course I visited last summer there was not one

    female in the class) but there are other females in other programs so that's a possiblity.

    At work they are

    mostly older women about 36 years old (which I've dated before) but they are married. And the women at my gym are

    either taken already or conceited attention seeking snobs which I don't wish to associate with. The warm weather is

    right around the corner so I guess that will also be a plus.

  4. #4
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    wood elf




    It's too bad this forum doesn't have more local ppl. That would be a good idea, maybe the forum could also have

    a dating section for ppl in different localities to meet. I agree that women would rather meet ppl in public places

    until they know someone better as would I.

    As far as school is concerned I'm returning to school for one year

    and I doubt there will be many women in my computer course (not being sexist as the course I visited last summer

    there was not one female in the class) but there are other females in other programs so that's a possiblity.

    At

    work they are mostly older women about 36 years old (which I've dated before) but they are married. And the women

    at my gym are either taken already or conceited attention seeking snobs which I don't wish to associate with. The

    warm weather is right around the corner so I guess that will also be a plus.
    Believe me...this forum

    isn't the best place to meet people, either. I'm trying to think of how many single, available women have come to

    this site since I've been here. I've also been thinking of the number of men who have hit on them, single or not,

    within five minutes of their initial posts. It would be pretty ugly (and probably scare some women away). I say

    this despite the fact that I've had a connection with one or two people on here that might've developed had

    distance not been a factor.

    As far as women in computer courses...there's something interesting with women in

    IT. When I went to school, I had a circle of friends of business majors and IT majors. All of the IT girls were

    gorgeous. To this day, I don't get it. The stereotypical computer guy was a dork, but the typical IT girl in that

    program was above average in attractiveness. The down side is that none of them really dated within their major...I

    wonder why...

    The problem with the gym is most people go there for a reason: to work out. Many women don't

    want to get hit on while they're trying to focus on exercise. As far as the attention-seeking snobs part, it's

    hard not to think that about someone who walks around in tight clothing in front of a large group of men, but

    that's more the nature of the gym than the nature of the person at the gym. It's not their fault they go there to

    work out and guys try and flirt with them. They do their best to remain friendly but not lead anyone on, so it

    could come off badly. There are exceptions, of course...

  5. #5
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188
    As far as

    women in computer courses...there's something interesting with women in IT. When I went to school, I had a circle

    of friends of business majors and IT majors. All of the IT girls were gorgeous. To this day, I don't get it. The

    stereotypical computer guy was a dork, but the typical IT girl in that program was above average in attractiveness.

    The down side is that none of them really dated within their major...I wonder why...
    Needless to say, I

    have attended a lot of computer classes starting in high school and continuing to this day. Generally speaking, the

    women attending them are a normal cross section of looks and personality. And us male computer geeks are about the

    same although some do seem to go a little far off the deep end.

    In the past few years I have had opportunity to

    spend a lot of time around a university campus and associating with grad students. The women have been far more

    interesting company than women I've met elsewhere and there are a few real treasures mixed among them, just like in

    everyday society. 'Course I might be just a little biased as that is where I met Wood Elf.

    She does have some

    good points about meeting people through activities though. The dynamics are different, seemingly more relaxed. It

    is easier to get to know somebody and make a good impression when you can spend some time with them doing something

    you both enjoy without all the games you find in pick up spots.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188


    As far as women in computer courses...there's something interesting with women in IT. When I went to school, I

    had a circle of friends of business majors and IT majors. All of the IT girls were gorgeous. To this day, I don't

    get it. The stereotypical computer guy was a dork, but the typical IT girl in that program was above average in

    attractiveness. The down side is that none of them really dated within their major...I wonder why...


    Speaking as a computer dork myself, I think you answered your own question in the sentence

    above it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    As far as school is concerned I'm returning to school for one year and I doubt

    there will be many women in my computer course (not being sexist as the course I visited last summer there was not

    one female in the class) but there are other females in other programs so that's a possiblity.
    I can

    identify with that. I once took an International Cooking class at the local community college to meet girls when I

    was in my mid 20s. I *was* the only male in the class, but the rest of the students were women in their fifties and

    sixties. The two women who were around my age were newlyweds trying to learn to cook to please their husbands. I

    wondered if all the single women were in auto shop trying to meet guys. On the upside, I did eat well once a week

    and came away with several good, unusual recipes.

  7. #7
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by InternationalPlayboy
    Speaking as a computer dork myself, I think you answered your own question in the

    sentence above it.
    I know, I was being sarcastic. I am, after all, a computer nerd in the American

    Pie
    sense.

    "I am a band geek. I just never joined the band."

    I am a computer nerd. I just never went

    into computer science.

    In other words, no offense, Bel and IPB or I'd be offending myself, too.



    That said, maybe my circle attracted all of the hot IT girls...come to think of it, all of the girls in the

    computer classes I took for my IT minor were exactly as Bel described.

  8. #8
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Being called a computer geek

    doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I'm rather proud of it, to tell you the truth. It makes me a very popular person

    in the circles I play. It also is making me a pretty good living without having to deal with the corporate BS so

    many people have to deal with.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  9. #9
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    I met my girlfriend at a party

    thrown by a mutual friend. Met my last girlfriend while rollerblading in the park.
    I took a Tango class for a

    while. Lots of fun. Met a lot of interesting women. Dated one a couple of times. It turned out real bad and I quit

    going to class. (Which, I guess is the downside of mixing hobbies with romance.)
    I’ve made some friends at my

    dojo and, like Wood Elf says, this can be a good way to be introduced to women you might like to date.
    I’ve

    made some friends through the local Amnesty International chapter. And also some pen pals, which is really nice when

    you’re traveling.

    I think bars and clubs are still the best place to meet women that just want to fool

    around. But I don’t think there’s any way to predict where you’ll meet a woman that really sparks your interest.

    I’ve met women at bookstores, coffee shops, the supermarket... I met my ex wife at a 7-11 (the first 9 years were

    actually quite good).
    Give truth a chance.

  10. #10
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a.k.a.
    But I don’t think

    there’s any way to predict where you’ll meet a woman that really sparks your interest.
    There isn't.

    And it always seems to happen when you least expect it.
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  11. #11
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    Do you ever find it

    hard to "get back into the game" after a long term relationship ends?

    I've found that the longer the

    relationship is, the rustier you become in the dating world for obvious reasons.

    Do any of you find that as

    you get older it seems as though there are less available ppl around?
    I got divorced at 39 and

    tried to “get back into the game” at 40. It was daunting. I wouldn’t call it being “rusty” so much as just being

    old. All the “good ones” in my age group were taken, and trying to jump through hoops for bitter divorces was just

    too self-destructive in my state of mind.

    One good thing about pheromones is that they broaden the age

    range of available women. The bad thing is you can get a little crazy if you haven’t fully recovered from the last

    break up.
    Give truth a chance.

  12. #12
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    Pancho1188

    Believe

    me...this forum isn't the best place to meet people, either. I'm trying to think of how many single, available

    women have come to this site since I've been here. I've also been thinking of the number of men who have hit on

    them, single or not, within five minutes of their initial posts. It would be pretty ugly (and probably scare some

    women away). I say this despite the fact that I've had a connection with one or two people on here that might've

    developed had distance not been a factor.
    I guess I could see you're point. As I said if ppl were in the

    same locality it would be easier.

    As far as women in computer courses...there's something interesting

    with women in IT. When I went to school, I had a circle of friends of business majors and IT majors. All of the IT

    girls were gorgeous. To this day, I don't get it. The stereotypical computer guy was a dork, but the typical IT

    girl in that program was above average in attractiveness. The down side is that none of them really dated within

    their major...I wonder why...
    I shall just have to wait and see if there are any females in my course.

    But why none of these females in the IT world choose to date within their domain I don't understand? I don't

    consider myself a computer geek at all. It's taken me about 4 years to find my passion and something I'm good at

    and working with computers for some reason just keeps me calm and happy.

    The problem with the gym is

    most people go there for a reason: to work out. Many women don't want to get hit on while they're trying to focus

    on exercise. As far as the attention-seeking snobs part, it's hard not to think that about someone who walks around

    in tight clothing in front of a large group of men, but that's more the nature of the gym than the nature of the

    person at the gym. It's not their fault they go there to work out and guys try and flirt with them. They do their

    best to remain friendly but not lead anyone on, so it could come off badly. There are exceptions, of course...
    You are right about this. The thing is when these women go to the gym basically in clubbing clothes and

    make up and tight clothes what do they expect? They are dressing to impress at the gym so of course ppl will hit on

    them.

    belgareth

    Needless to say, I have attended a lot of computer classes starting in high school

    and continuing to this day. Generally speaking, the women attending them are a normal cross section of looks and

    personality. And us male computer geeks are about the same although some do seem to go a little far off the deep

    end.
    Well as I said I will have to wait and see. But if there are no females in my computer course which

    I'm expecting, there are other females in other programs.

    In the past few years I have had opportunity

    to spend a lot of time around a university campus and associating with grad students. The women have been far more

    interesting company than women I've met elsewhere and there are a few real treasures mixed among them, just like in

    everyday society. 'Course I might be just a little biased as that is where I met Wood Elf.
    Well being on

    a university campus leaves one with lots of fish in the sea to choose from. You are lucky you met Wood Elf from what

    I've read.

    She does have some good points about meeting people through activities though. The dynamics

    are different, seemingly more relaxed. It is easier to get to know somebody and make a good impression when you can

    spend some time with them doing something you both enjoy without all the games you find in pick up spots.

    I've thought about different activities as well, but it's weird in Montreal too many things going on with too

    many different ppl around. Plus there's the language barrier. I speak french but it's not always enough as many

    french girls prefer french guys.

    Being called a computer geek doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I'm

    rather proud of it, to tell you the truth. It makes me a very popular person in the circles I play. It also is

    making me a pretty good living without having to deal with the corporate BS so many people have to deal with.
    Do you work for a company or freelance? I'm probably going to want to work for a company as I'd feel

    better protected job wise.

    InternationalPlayboy

    Funny when you mention dorky looking computer geek's I look

    nothing like this. When ppl ask me what I'm into and I tell them computers as it keeps me calm, they especially

    women are surprised.

    I can identify with that. I once took an International Cooking class at the local

    community college to meet girls when I was in my mid 20s. I *was* the only male in the class, but the rest of the

    students were women in their fifties and sixties. The two women who were around my age were newlyweds trying to

    learn to cook to please their husbands. I wondered if all the single women were in auto shop trying to meet guys. On

    the upside, I did eat well once a week and came away with several good, unusual recipes.
    I actually did

    this once and I left after the first 2 classes b/c they were much older and/or married.


    AKA

    I

    met my girlfriend at a party thrown by a mutual friend. Met my last girlfriend while rollerblading in the park.
    I

    took a Tango class for a while. Lots of fun. Met a lot of interesting women. Dated one a couple of times. It turned

    out real bad and I quit going to class. (Which, I guess is the downside of mixing hobbies with romance.)
    I’ve made

    some friends at my dojo and, like Wood Elf says, this can be a good way to be introduced to women you might like to

    date.
    I’ve made some friends through the local Amnesty International chapter. And also some pen pals, which is

    really nice when you’re traveling.

    I think bars and clubs are still the best place to meet women that just want

    to fool around. But I don’t think there’s any way to predict where you’ll meet a woman that really sparks your

    interest. I’ve met women at bookstores, coffee shops, the supermarket... I met my ex wife at a 7-11 (the first 9

    years were actually quite good).
    I've usually met ppl through friends. I've never really been fortunate

    enough to just "bump into someone" and then start dating. Normally when I "bump into ppl" if the opportunity arrises

    they say they have a boyfriend I guess to avoid being hit on.

    I did grappling for 2 years and there were no

    females in my class just males. The church I used to attend were either full of elderly ppl or ppl my age but

    already had a family.

    I am going out to a bar here with a couple of friends just for a drink to see what's

    going on this week so who knows.

    But I've seemed to have much luck at coffeshops or grocery stores etc....

    Sometimes I don't always approach as I get concerned how they will react.
    I guess you can't worry about that and

    if they react strangely, all you can do is just move on to the next one.

    I got divorced at 39 and tried

    to “get back into the game” at 40. It was daunting. I wouldn’t call it being “rusty” so much as just being old. All

    the “good ones” in my age group were taken, and trying to jump through hoops for bitter divorces was just too

    self-destructive in my state of mind.

    One good thing about pheromones is that they broaden the age range of

    available women. The bad thing is you can get a little crazy if you haven’t fully recovered from the last break up.
    I feel for you and I'm in my late 20's. It seems as though many women in their mid-late 20's have

    already found their man, their husband or future husband.

    It must be harder at 35 or 40 years old.

    I'm

    really hoping the Chikara will enhance my sexuality. My age ranges from 20 to 40 years old. But if I had to choose a

    life partner, I'd most likely prefer her to be around my own age.

  13. #13
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    It seems as though

    many women in their mid-late 20's have already found their man, their husband or future

    husband.
    Wonderful.

    And the bad news...?
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  14. #14
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    Wonderful.



    And the bad news...?
    Isn't 26 still the average age of a first marriage? If so, it'll probably increase

    to 27-28 soon...

    Isn't it funny how society has changed that I have to say 'first' marriage?



    The

    bad news is that it has a 50% failure rate. A second marriage has an 85% failure rate. If condoms were that

    ineffective, nobody would use them. If cars were that unreliable, nobody would drive them. Then how come 90% of

    people get married? Oh, wait...this isn't the "Things that make you go HMMM..." thread...

  15. #15
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    Do you work

    for a company or freelance? I'm probably going to want to work for a company as I'd feel better protected job

    wise.
    Neither, I own a small company and employ several people. I played the corporate game for more

    than 20 years and grew to despise it. The higher I climbed in that world the less I liked what it was turning me

    into.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  16. #16
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    Holmes

    Wonderful.



    And the bad news...?
    That doesn't do much good for the single guys. Why would you say that?
    If ppl

    are being less available it's bad news for single guys.

    Pancho1188

    Isn't 26 still the average age

    of a first marriage? If so, it'll probably increase to 27-28 soon...

    Isn't it funny how society has changed

    that I have to say 'first' marriage?



    The bad news is that it has a 50% failure rate. A second marriage has

    an 85% failure rate. If condoms were that ineffective, nobody would use them. If cars were that unreliable, nobody

    would drive them. Then how come 90% of people get married? Oh, wait...this isn't the "Things that make you go

    HMMM..." thread...
    Yeah between 26-28 years old is the average age of the first marriage. Although

    some ppl aren't married until they are 30 years old.

    Yes it is funny in today's society we are saying 1st,

    2nd, and 3rd marriage by 50 LOL .

    I agree, why get married if they aren't as close as ppl think they are? As

    for rubbers I use them with new ppl until we get tested and know eachother better.

    belgareth


    Neither, I own a small company and employ several people. I played the corporate game for more than 20 years and

    grew to despise it. The higher I climbed in that world the less I liked what it was turning me into.
    How

    did you start that business up and how do you keep it going? Do you do networks for companies?

    Wouldn't you

    think that for someone just starting out it would be better to work for a company?

    What is your opinion about

    there being less available ppl around as you get older?

    Here is one question I have always truly wondered about.

    I have my opinion but I'd like to hear yours. Why some women say they have a boyfriend when they really

    don't?

    The best answer I can come up with is b/c they don't want to be bothered by men.

  17. #17
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    How did you

    start that business up and how do you keep it going? Do you do networks for companies?

    Wouldn't you think that

    for someone just starting out it would be better to work for a company?

    What is your opinion about there being

    less available ppl around as you get older?

    Here is one question I have always truly wondered about. I have my

    opinion but I'd like to hear yours. Why some women say they have a boyfriend when they really don't?

    The best

    answer I can come up with is b/c they don't want to be bothered by men.
    To start a small business? There

    are probably as many ways to start a small business as there are people in business. Myself, I saw a need that was

    not being addressed within the service industry that I felt I could fill. Once I decided to fill that need I made a

    list of what I would need to have/do to fill that need. In other words: who will I serve, how big is the market, how

    will I make contact with this market, What services do they need that you can provide and so on. It is a long

    list.

    Once I had my list fairly complete I set about finding ways to answer each of those questions. That gave

    me the basis for a business structure and allowed me to create a plan. Planning is everything in a successful new

    business, without it you have nothing and will go nowhere in the majority of cases.

    Any good plan includes

    capitol needs and no matter how well you do your homework you will be low by at least 50%, count on it!

    After

    you get all that set up you are ready to open a business. I went from a 1 man shop to ready to hire my 4th

    technician in 3 years. We do everythign technology related from basic computers and hardware sales to consulting,

    networking and phone system admin. But you have to have the skills to do the work or be able to hire the skills.



    It is probably true that there are fewer available single people as you get older if you try to stay in a single

    age range. Some are going to get married, some are going to die and a few may be abducted by aliens. You are in an

    age group where a lot of women are married, in a few years many of them will be bitter divorcees. Personally, I

    don't really care about age. What is inside a woman's head is a lot more important to me. That opens up a whole

    range of women that I wouldn't have considered otherwise.

    Why do women lie about having a boyfriend? Maybe they

    aren't interested in you and think you are hitting on them. Well, you are, aren't you? It's usually seen as a

    safer answer than "I don't like you, go away"
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  18. #18
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    Belgareth

    To start a

    small business? There are probably as many ways to start a small business as there are people in business. Myself, I

    saw a need that was not being addressed within the service industry that I felt I could fill. Once I decided to fill

    that need I made a list of what I would need to have/do to fill that need. In other words: who will I serve, how big

    is the market, how will I make contact with this market, What services do they need that you can provide and so on.

    It is a long list.

    Once I had my list fairly complete I set about finding ways to answer each of those questions.

    That gave me the basis for a business structure and allowed me to create a plan. Planning is everything in a

    successful new business, without it you have nothing and will go nowhere in the majority of cases.

    Any good plan

    includes capitol needs and no matter how well you do your homework you will be low by at least 50%, count on

    it!

    After you get all that set up you are ready to open a business. I went from a 1 man shop to ready to hire my

    4th technician in 3 years. We do everythign technology related from basic computers and hardware sales to

    consulting, networking and phone system admin. But you have to have the skills to do the work or be able to hire the

    skills.
    Did you have to take business courses? Ppl tell me if I want to have my
    own business, I will

    need to get a business background? Or would it be enough to have been working in the field you're starting your

    business in?

    Do you think working for a company is probably the better choice for a young guy just starting out

    to get the necessary working experience? That's JMO.

    It is probably true that there are fewer available

    single people as you get older if you try to stay in a single age range. Some are going to get married, some are

    going to die and a few may be abducted by aliens. You are in an age group where a lot of women are married, in a few

    years many of them will be bitter divorcees. Personally, I don't really care about age. What is inside a woman's

    head is a lot more important to me. That opens up a whole range of women that I wouldn't have considered

    otherwise.

    Why do women lie about having a boyfriend? Maybe they aren't interested in you and think you are

    hitting on them. Well, you are, aren't you? It's usually seen as a safer answer than "I don't like you, go away"
    Well I try to stay in my age range (27years old) give or take a few years, but it seems even the young

    women in their early 20's many are taken already.

    That's funny, though abducted by aliens LOL.

    But being

    in my age range sucks b/c many women are getting married
    "for the 1st time" at my age so they've already been

    with the same guy since they were 23 or 24 years old.
    I don't care about age that much either as long as they have

    a head on their shoulders, have goals, know what they want, and very important are mature.

    As for women saying

    "I have a boyfriend" you are probably right about trying to be nice about it.

    But the thing is sometimes they

    say it right away even after I've just said hello and not even hitting on them. These types of women are conceited

    IMO as they think everyone is trying to hit on them.

    But what really sucks is when they say they have a boyfriend

    and you are a good looking, guy who's in shape with a good personality, well dressed and know's how to treat women

    properly and they don't even give you a chance.

    They don't know anything about you and they say they have a

    boyfriend on the spot. To me that shows me that the woman is very conceited and has a big ego. Not someone I'd want

    to be with anyway.

    But I'm sure we've all heard the "I have a boyfriend line" a few times in our day haven't

    we?

  19. #19
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    Belgareth




    Did you have to take business courses? Ppl tell me if I want to have my
    own business, I will need to get a

    business background? Or would it be enough to have been working in the field you're starting your business in?



    Do you think working for a company is probably the better choice for a young guy just starting out to get the

    necessary working experience? That's JMO.
    It all depends on you. I've seen young guys go out on their own a

    become a raging success and I've seen many more others fall flat on their faces. The more you know about the

    realities of business the more likely you are to be successful. I've been in business related technical work most

    of my life and took some business classes in college.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    Well I try to stay in my age range

    (27years old) give or take a few years, but it seems even the young women in their early 20's many are taken

    already.

    That's funny, though abducted by aliens LOL.

    But being in my age range sucks b/c many women are

    getting married
    "for the 1st time" at my age so they've already been with the same guy since they were 23 or 24

    years old.
    I don't care about age that much either as long as they have a head on their shoulders, have goals,

    know what they want, and very important are mature.

    As for women saying "I have a boyfriend" you are probably

    right about trying to be nice about it.

    But the thing is sometimes they say it right away even after I've just

    said hello and not even hitting on them. These types of women are conceited IMO as they think everyone is trying to

    hit on them.

    But what really sucks is when they say they have a boyfriend and you are a good looking, guy who's

    in shape with a good personality, well dressed and know's how to treat women properly and they don't even give you

    a chance.

    They don't know anything about you and they say they have a boyfriend on the spot. To me that shows

    me that the woman is very conceited and has a big ego. Not someone I'd want to be with anyway.

    But I'm sure

    we've all heard the "I have a boyfriend line" a few times in our day haven't we?
    Since I usually try to

    see the best in people I am more inclined to think they are trying to be nice because their is no chemistry. For all

    our vaunted sophistication, we really are animals under a very thin layer of civilization. If they do not like your

    looks or demeanor or approach for any reason they will get rid of you. Same if there is no subconcious connection.

    It doesn't mean they are conceated, you aren't their type. Forget it and move on. Obsessing over it is going to

    hurt you.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  20. #20
    Man of La Pancha
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    "I'm not interested." =

    direct rejection
    "I have a boyfriend." = indirect rejection

    We live in a non-confrontational society. It's a

    social norm in the United States that in order to be polite, you must allow the other person to save face. In

    addition, you are also saving face. On one hand, the other person isn't being rejected directly, so the person's

    ego leaves intact because you're just not available...nothing against the person. On the other hand, you get to

    save face because you don't have to turn someone down and look like a jerk.


    Speaking of brutal honesty, I

    don't get why you're asking questions to which you probably already know the answers but want to hear someone say

    it's because the people you are asking out are jerks and good people aren't like that. I'm going to give you the

    benefit of the doubt and assume that you're still hurting from the loss of your last relationship (mutual or not,

    it still hurts losing that sense of partnership, safety, and reassurance after so long) and you're not having

    self-confidence issues. I'd take your topics of conversation as a source of validation and support to keep your

    mind occupied until you get things back together. I find it strange that someone who still maintains a healthy sex

    life and obviously has the occasional romantic/intimate opportunity (emotionally speaking) would be focusing so much

    on the girls he can't get, but to each his own.


    Saying that was uncomfortable for me because social norms

    and personal morals say I shouldn't be so blunt because I wouldn't want someone saying that to me. Now do you get

    why these girls are saying "I have a boyfriend," instead of saying, "I don't want to go out with you."?

  21. #21
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188
    "I'm not

    interested." = direct rejection
    "I have a boyfriend." = indirect rejection
    "I have herpes." =

    creative indirect rejection
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  22. #22
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    "I have herpes."

    = creative indirect rejection


    "I used to be a man." = Too Much Information

    Maybe in

    that scenario, a "no" would suffice...and help a person save face more than telling them they just hit on a guy...

  23. #23
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    "I have herpes."

    = creative indirect rejection
    "I have hair piece" = ?
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrSmellThis
    "I have hair

    piece" = ?
    Rejection by Kumi (or The Donald).
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

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    Belgareth

    It all

    depends on you. I've seen young guys go out on their own a become a raging success and I've seen many more others

    fall flat on their faces. The more you know about the realities of business the more likely you are to be

    successful. I've been in business related technical work most of my life and took some business classes in college.
    Well I have no business background so I'm not sure that would be good for me just starting out. I think

    I'd be better off in a company to start. & maybe later taking some business courses.

    Since I usually

    try to see the best in people I am more inclined to think they are trying to be nice because their is no chemistry.

    For all our vaunted sophistication, we really are animals under a very thin layer of civilization. If they do not

    like your looks or demeanor or approach for any reason they will get rid of you. Same if there is no subconcious

    connection. It doesn't mean they are conceated, you aren't their type. Forget it and move on. Obsessing over it is

    going to hurt you.
    I agree, but to not even give someone a chance to get to know you, IMO is conceited.

    Especially if you are good looking, well dressed, well groomed, and have descent approaches. It shows that you think

    you're better than everyone else.

    No I would not want to be with a woman who has this personality, but I just

    think it stinks that these types of ppl exist.

    I know I am an attractive person and I give ppl a chance.

    Personally I don't go for the model type b/c I don't usually find them too physically appealing. They are too

    skinny IMO.

    Pancho1188

    "I'm not interested." = direct rejection
    "I have a boyfriend." = indirect

    rejection

    We live in a non-confrontational society. It's a social norm in the United States that in order to be

    polite, you must allow the other person to save face. In addition, you are also saving face. On one hand, the other

    person isn't being rejected directly, so the person's ego leaves intact because you're just not

    available...nothing against the person. On the other hand, you get to save face because you don't have to turn

    someone down and look like a jerk.


    Speaking of brutal honesty, I don't get why you're asking questions to

    which you probably already know the answers but want to hear someone say it's because the people you are asking out

    are jerks and good people aren't like that. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're

    still hurting from the loss of your last relationship (mutual or not, it still hurts losing that sense of

    partnership, safety, and reassurance after so long) and you're not having self-confidence issues. I'd take your

    topics of conversation as a source of validation and support to keep your mind occupied until you get things back

    together. I find it strange that someone who still maintains a healthy sex life and obviously has the occasional

    romantic/intimate opportunity (emotionally speaking) would be focusing so much on the girls he can't get, but to

    each his own.


    Saying that was uncomfortable for me because social norms and personal morals say I shouldn't be

    so blunt because I wouldn't want someone saying that to me. Now do you get why these girls are saying "I have a

    boyfriend," instead of saying, "I don't want to go out with you."?
    I agree with what you said about the

    definitions at the top.

    I guess you could say that I'm still a bit hung up on the last relationship, but I know

    it was for the better. The last 8 months of the relationship there was not one bit of intimacy which was hard for me

    b/c I did a lot for her and she was an attractive girl who had a good sex drive which is why I can't understand why

    she turned out the way she did.

    But I'm not so much focused on trying to get the girls I can't, I'm just

    amazed at how some ppl treat other ppl. I actually haven't been rejected that much since I broke up with my ex.



    I've been haning out with this dancer I met through a friend who starting working at a strip club when he had a

    little party with myself her, 2 of our other friends and 3 other ladies.

    But I'm getting to a point where I

    need someone who's more stable than her. Don't get me wrong she is a hottie with tattoo's a couple of piercings,

    tall, tanned, nicely done implants and great in bed, but I'm getting to a point where I need something else. I hang

    out withe her about 3 times a week. But it's nothing more.

    "I used to be a man." = Too Much

    Information

    Maybe in that scenario, a "no" would suffice...and help a person save face more than telling them

    they just hit on a guy...
    Never heard that one.

    Holmes

    "I have herpes." = creative

    indirect rejection
    I have a good looking buddy who just heard that one last week LOL.


    The thing

    that I don't understand is why is it that good looking women and men can even get turned down at times?

  26. #26
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    Good looking is subjective! You

    don't like the model types because they are too skinny, others lovev that type (Why is beyond me). But saying you

    are a good looking guy means next to nothing because it is only some people's opinion.

    I don't go to bars or

    clubs so I can't say anything about those places. In other places I am almost never rejected by women of any age. I

    don't come on to anybody either. Just have fun and relax. If somebody is interested in you, she'll let you know.

    For the rest, who cares? It isn't important or even worth the effort of being unhappy about it.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    An older man with a history of

    being successful with women once advised, "you don't need to stress out about it." Simple, but it says so much.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sigfreed
    The thing

    that I don't understand is why is it that good looking women and men can even get turned down at times?
    You

    seriously need to read my posting about how being good looking doesn't necessarily make you a better person.




    Rejection has to happen. There are billions of people in the world, and you're only going to seek a small

    percentage of those people to be with. To quote Seinfeld:

    JERRY: Elaine, what percentage of people would you say

    are good looking?

    ELAINE: Twenty-five percent.

    JERRY: Twenty-five percent, you say? No way! It's like 4 to

    6 percent. It's a twenty to one shot.

    ELAINE: You're way off.

    JERRY: Way off? Have you been to the motor

    vehicle bureau? It's like a leper colony down there.

    ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of

    the population is undateable?

    JERRY: UNDATEABLE!

    ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?



    JERRY: Alcohol.


    In other words, you're only going to be interested in a fraction of the population.

    Rejection is inevitable, whether your believe the hilarity of Seinfeld that it can be calculated to a 1/4 or 1/20

    probability of actual success (which means that the other 3/4 or 19/20 times, you will be rejected).

    "Dateable" is different than "attractive", as you take compatibility into account as well. Besides, isn't it

    shallow to say, "How can an attractive person be turned down?" That's putting as much emphasis on looks as the

    people who are turning others down based strictly on appearances.


    People might think you're pulling a "pot

    calling the kettle black" kind of thing when you call people conceited and then say things such as, "I know I am an

    attractive person," and, "The thing that I don't understand is why is it that good looking women and men can even

    get turned down at times?" How different is it to say things that infer, "I'm so attractive. I can't believe

    people have the audacity to turn me down! Me...of all people! I mean, I could understand turning down ugly people,

    but me!?!?!" than it is to say things that infer, "I'm too good to go out with him!"?

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