Funny stuff!
[size=3]DEFINITIONS[/size
]
1. THINGY (thing-ee)
n.
a. female........Any part under a car's hood.
b. male..........The strap fastener on a woman's
bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
a. female........Fully opening up
one's self emotionally to another.
b. male..........Playing any sport without a "cup".
3.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
a. female.......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
b. male.........Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the
boys.
4. BUTT (but) n.
a. female.......The body part that every item of clothing
manufactured makes "look bigger."
b. male.........What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun or
goal. Also good for mooning.
5. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
a. female.......A desire to get married and
raise a family.
b. male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend.
6. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment)
n.
a.
female.......A good movie, concert, play or book.
b. male.........Anything that can be done while
drinking.
7. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
a. female.......An embarrassing
by-product of digestion.
b. male.........An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male
bonding.
8. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
a. female.......The greatest expression of
intimacy a couple can achieve.
b. male.........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in
bed.
9. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
a. female.......A device for changing from
one TV channel to another.
b. male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 2 1/2
minutes
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
Emotion : (eeh-mo-shun)
Woman
- an important part of life that dictates mood and reaction in most circumstances; forming psychologic makeup and
individual interactions between humans, their surroundings and other living things.
Men - That scene in Bambi. You
know. The one where the mother deer gets shot or something.
Secondary Toilet Seat: (seh-kon-dah-ree toy-let
seet)
Women - a necessary component of a domestic toilet, used to facilitate bodily functions.
Men - A
seemingly unneeded invention, that provides a source of constant and consistent bemusement. Often used for target
practice.
Romance (row-mahn-ss)
Women - A moment of supreme intimacy felt between two human beings;
dependant on setting, environment and emotional contact between entities.
Men - (see Making Love, also reference
candles and Barry White)
Male Facial Razor Blade (may-l fay-shal ray-zor blay-d)
Women - a convienent
product that can replace female razors for the shaving of legs for aesthetic purposes.
Men - an item of personal
grooming that seems to produce blotches and cuts whenever one sleeps at a female's apartment. Must be the shampoo
you used or something.
Moisturiser (moy-styoor-aye-zer)
Women - faithful warrior in the battle against the
aging of the skin, to be used religiously.
Men - thick paste substance that we definately do not 'borrow'
from girlfriends or use when alone. Before bed. Or, you know, we wake up with puffy eyes.
Pen (peh-n)
Women
(academic) - phallic symbol representing the male dominance in contemorary and litarary culture, often employed in
homoerotic discourse as vehicle of impotance
Men - It's a pen. We use this to write things. (or draw boobs while
on the phone)
Kitten
Women - small, cuddly and adorable creature that is without fail capable of enducing
cooing noises and maternal instincts.
Men - BASEBALL! (Also good on Valentines Cards)
Erm... I'm done.
"...and from that egg, hatched a stone monkey!" (Newton)
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