Reply With QuoteReally good post, had people here
that think that pheros can transform then in the most pretty guy in the world and can get all girls!
for this you
derseve a good reputation !
Prerequisites for success with pheromones.
Allright, so after reading through alot of material here I would like to give my take on it(as it seems
there are some phero-newbies like myself who arent quite 'getting it').
1. You have to be socially
intelligent. This is _KEY_. Without social intelligence how the hell are you going to spot any reactions and
differences in peoples behavior towards you?
2. You have to understand what pheromones really induce and do.
Without this you will have a misconception and possibly 'high hopes' that will get crushed when what some sales
pitch told you would happen doesnt deliver. Seriously, pheromones _will not_ transform you into Brad Pitt!! Which
brings me to my next point...
3. You have to have some sense of approachability and friendliness/attractiveness
before trying pheromones. Why? Well since they will greatly enhance what's already there! Meaning if you look
behave feel and act like a total wierdo freak loser etc then you will come off INCONGRUENT with what the pheromones
are telling others about yourself. However if you look your best(clean, groomed, somewhat decent clothing whatever
your style or image might be, happy/sexy/friendly attitude and projection) then the pheromones will make you that
much more attractive/sociable/likable/etc..!
Humans are much more complex when it comes to social dynamics,
pheromones alone wont dictate your success. They will however in a congruent combination greatly ENHANCE your
success.
Really good post, had people here
that think that pheros can transform then in the most pretty guy in the world and can get all girls!
for this you
derseve a good reputation !
You're getting it. That is
another reason why pheromones can take a while to succeed with. You might need to change your behavior to take
advantage of them -- not always a clear and easy task.
"Congruence" (with your pheromone signature) is a useful
concept, I think, but it doesn't always mean "stereotypical alpha male." Ultimately, I think it is ideally just an
improved version of yourself -- if you are using pheromones correctly (hygience practices can have an effect too).
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
I think you missed the most
important prerequisite for sucess (& Dr. S hinted at it): you must be actively involved in creating attraction. And
that may involve changing your lifestyle (hopefully a better you). Pheromones enhance what exists and won't draw
women to a dead man. Specially you must be aggresive enough to initiate contact. Plus, you need to maintain a
desirable persona, physical appearance and social standing (as you mentioned). You need your target in your personal
space for several minutes in order for the 'mones to work, so your social skills and appearance are crucial in
attracting and holding them. Then and only then will 'mones work their magic and give you an edge.
If you
merely sit and observe women walk by with a grin on your face you'll enjoy little sucess. Even when attracted to
you, most women expect you to make the first move. So you need be a bit more than just friendly, clean and well
dressed.
"I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi
well, i guess i'm out of luck
then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job", in what removing
any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish anyway, and learn to
aproach women, and learn to sound confident...
I was hoping those DILHS to make room for an aproach without the
"what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...
Why on earth would you want such an "easy" short cut? Wouldn't it be better to become al of thoseOriginally Posted by Silcat
well, i guess
i'm out of luck then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job",
in what removing any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish
anyway, and learn to aproach women, and learn to sound confident...
I was hoping those DILHS to make room for
an aproach without the "what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...
things as well? It builds character.
But i don't have character or
what people call "sense of self", of course i can appear to be stronger and confident than i really am, but what's
the point? I end up feeling as much alone. I get the feeling people nowadays are in the ethernal search for the
right person, and they hope that person wants to be with them, but at the same time don't want someone that might
depended too much on them in the emotional field, wich, of course, IS what makes people stay together or search for
mate in the first place. Go figure... I'm more convinced as time goes by that it's all a selfish, self centered
search for some ideal that tv and movies drill into people's minds. Then again, i might be self centered in my
misery toughts... But what can i do? Pretend i do not feel alone, pretend i do not feel anything?
Just
releasing some steam, no need for answer...
So basically what youre saying is that driven by your own crave for instant gratificationwell, i guess
i'm out of luck then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job",
in what removing any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish
anyway, and learn to aproach women, and learn to sound confident...
I was hoping those DILHS to make room
for an aproach without the "what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...
youre hoping these pheromones will be the magic pill that will cure everything?
Guess again buddy.
I
get DIHLs without pheromones. I get approached by 4-5 women on average when I go out socializing at lounges and
clubs. It has NOTHING to do with looks or pheromones(or it might have but i'll get to that in a
minute).
Why?
It all started 6 months ago when I decided it was time to learn how to become good at
seducing women. I had approachanxiety, never had a girl approach me, been in 2 relationships ever (at the age of 20)
etc. It was actually a bit of socialnervousness although I had solid socialcircles to tend to.
So what
happened? I met a very skilled guy through an internetcommunity dealing with seduction, by luck he actually lived in
the same town as me so we hooked up and he started showing me stuff. Everything I read went completely opposite to
what he was showing and it dawned upon me.
To become a seductionist, womanizer or just generally better with
women it all boils down to the transfer or recognition of self-worth. Now think about that a minute, its exactly
what happened to me. I actually started to believe I was attractive, funny, intelligent, sociable, likable etc. My
identity started to morph and change into a more attractive and likable one.
It inspired me, gave me hope
and drive. I took the ball and then I ran with it, I dwelved myself in books covering socialpsychology and
evolutionarypsychology expanding my knowledge in the subject and going out in the field gaining practical experience
implementing the ideas and concepts. I started to analyze my results and draw my own conclusions. Come up with my
own theories and basically for awhile there thought about it 24/7.
BAM! It all started to hit me, I got on
firstname basis with club/loungemanagers, bouncers, bartenders. Girls started approaching me, bartenders started
giving me free drinks, partying with me afterwards and people at work started to pay for my lunch, treat me with
more respect, inviting me to different happenings etc etc etc.
All of this had a synergical effect ofcourse,
as I had to assume I was all this in the beginning , the experiences validated my assumptions and became my beliefs.
Now has my physical apperance changed anything during these 6 months? Not really, I havent been working out
nor neglecting my health in regards to foodconsumption. Neither have I conciously changed it by piercings, tattoos
or the like. I have bought some new clothes but they havent differed much from my previous ones. I havent been using
pheromones during this trip. HOWEVER I do believe I've undergone momentary changes of hormones and the like when I
actually started to have alot of sex with different partners. The psychology behind all this might aswell have had a
physical impact of change on my body.(thus resulting in naturally higher pheromonelevels?).
Now did I ever
use a magical pill to get better?
NO! It took hard work and persistence. BUT I am now reaping the rewards and let
me tell you, its all frigging worth it!
But go ahead, try pheromones, get disappointed, hit rockbottom to
gain the motivation and then grab the bull by the horns.
Good luck!
PS Human social endeavors and
mating rituals are alot more dynamic than by pheromones and scent alone DS
Venting steam only gets you so far.
Before you can have the right girl, you have to be the right man. And
that usually means going out there and making mistakes and learning from them.
Feeling sorry for yourself, or
feeling lost and forgotten, or in any way feeling like the world has left you behind doesn't cut the mustard.
It really takes less effort to change yourself than most guys believe. You change one thing today, one thing
tomorrow. They can be small things. Eventually, you reach a stage where you are ready to make a larger change --
in fact, you will WANT to make that change.
You pick up speed from there.
You do seem pretty full of resentment and
cynicism.
The ones that complain are usually the ones that disdain from the percieved unattainable.
how
often did you out for you to accomplish this and how big is the city you live in?
It was usually 3 times a week,
thursdays fridays and saturdays. Obviously any sane person knows you can't get hammered all three days unless youre
a superman of sorts. I'd have a few drinks and some saturdays I chose to get hammered but that was it. Occasionally
I'd go out even 4 times a week.
Now however its reduced to 1 or 2 times a week where 1 is completely sober.
I am moving away from it as im expanding my socialcircle and doing things besides this clubgame, its actually to the
point where I have to go just to stay in touch with the people working at these places.
I live in a city of
150,000 people where 25000 are universitystudents.
"disdain fom the
percieved unattainable", sorry, do you mind explaining this last part (i'm not a native english speaker)
what i think seduceme is saying is
like calling a hot chick a slut or ugly because you believe you have no chance at her.
The ones who are bitter because they think they can't have what they want.
If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen
Holmes' Theme Song
I would agree, but that does not explain the ones i think that are high in my opinion... Following that
theory i would be enable to have a good opinion about people unless i got something from them. I believe that's not
the case.
That was just his example.
I meant more like while people are actively pursuing what
they want and like and experiencing life love and enjoying it youre self-pitying and generalizing about it with a
cynical view of how theyre all influenced by TV,movies and chasing an ideal.
That is your view, not theirs.
Theyre having fun, youre feeling lonely.
"That is your view, not theirs.
Theyre having fun, youre feeling lonely."
I guess i am, i guess i am that weak.
This is a bit insensitive, though not ill-willed. People get depressed and lonely even when pursuing
their dreams.
Most people get lonely and depressed sometimes. We live in an alienated, lonely culture! This is
the suffering of our time, as documented in song by the Beatles ("Elanor Rigby") and America ("Lonely People"), for
example. You have to accept it and do what you can to live the kind of life you want. At least we're not starving
right now or getting our asses blown up (most of us, anyway). But that doesn't make it all good. It's just some
suffering that goes along with life at this moment. It's real, but thank goodness it's not all there is.
For
me right now going to bed early and getting up early helps, since I get lonlier at night. At night I allow myself to
get tired as soon as I can and sleep, unless something special is happening. Then I get productive chasing my dreams
during the day, and try to be thankful I have an opportunity to do this. But everyone has little and big things they
can do.
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
Good, first step is always recognition. Now you have a vantagepoint to work from. Focus,
effort and persistence is all it takes!
I know, I had the same thoughts when I previewed my post(geeze I might be a bit harsh here) BUT,
I was just holding up the mirror of reality. Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes it takes the truth before
people change. I understand the concept of sugarcoating it to protect the other individuals ego a bit. The trick is
to get it right, so far that he feels a desire to change but not too far to induce an opposite reaction.
It's not about sugarcoating
it. It's about not mistaking depression/legitimate loneliness for self-pity or something pathetic. If you're going
to hold up a "mirror of reality", compassion and understanding help make the reflection more real. I've been
there, and I know people have all kinds of thoughts when they're down.
I know you mean to help, though. You are
right that a swift kick can sometimes help, as long as it motivates rather than beats down. I liked your next post
much better.
But it's important to realize that depression takes the neurological energy out of one's positive
thoughts, making one feel "too weak". You try to think something positive, but it seems like it does no good.
At these times, you have to revivify yourself somehow so that your positive thoughts can have "wind in their sails".
Then when you think something positive it will really change you. I hope that makes sense.
The challenge is
to fight through it every time, to the extent you can; not to get down on yourself for feeling and thinking it.
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
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