Living At Home

[MOBLEYC57]

Here is a thought

for you...In 1990-91 when the build up of troops was beginning in the Persian Gulf for the impending invasion of

Iraq,I watched video from the tarmac of a U.S. Airforce base of a group of Army Rangers boarding a cargo aircraft

bound for the Gulf.All the wives and mothers and fathers and children were there to see thier soldiers off...maybe

for the last time.The fairwells were polite,friendly,stoic and generaly unemotional.
Same day...on CNN was a video

of Italian paratroopers boarding a cargo aircraft bound also for the Gulf.These are,in all honesty...men of equal

metal and millitary prowess of the U.S. troops seen earlier.They are tough,diciplined and rugged individuals trained

to jump from aircraft into combat without a second thought for thier own safety.These brave men of honor and

dicipline had no problem weeping and crying openly...embracing thier mothers and fathers crying on thier

shoulders.The fairwells continued in this manner and some of the troops even broke ranks to run back to thier

mothers and give them one last hug befor going off to war.The difference was stunning.It became very clear to me

that here in the U.S.,people have a very different view of family and the connection that family should have.Sons

here are expected to be independant and solitary.Hunters,protectors,providers.And somehow,the idea of living at home

is seen as contrary to that goal.However,in my oppinion...that go-it-alone attitude robs us of a very important

connection to our family and ourselves.Our ego steals our sense of connection to the ones that realy are the most

important people in our lives.And it shouldnt be a problem for anyone to understand and respect that connection that

we have to our families...the same connection that they should have.As someone whos parents died when I was still a

very young man,I can tell you that the lack of connection to family realy isnt a sign of strength...

Who is

though that has pulled my ghost of HOPE of a different kind of suicide from the Gulf, because I was misunderstood by

family ... the most important thing in my LIFE?

The only and most confused time of my life ... I

volunteered for Desert Storm with hopes that God would have some how found my company entertaining. Only to do my

tour, and return back to Italy. Not strong enough to walk over the fence myself, so I voluteered for a second tour,

using the excuse of the man that was going to replace me, had just had a kid, and should not be chosen. Luck struck

twice, but God didn't have a seat for me in his house. Desert Storm, turned to Desert Shield, and my chances of

being chosen to keep God company dissappeared. I've been hurt by love as to where I was so weak, I knew I was going

to die, but during that time I WANTED IT ... just not enough to make that attempt myself, for fear of someone saying

I was weak. So I volunteered, hoping a bomb, stray bullet, or anything caused by either, would find it's way into

my life to claim it.

Now, I'm reminded of what I THOUGHT was a bad time in my life, was shown that it was not,

and appreciating it.

My mom's 74th birthday is Friday ... I'll be a part of it, and I'm greatful to be able

to. International, the only shame in what you're doing, and how you're doing it, is in your head and in your head

only, for your thoughts is what's going to fix the problem, or make it worse.

You're right Koolest of Kings,

there's a difference in not wanting to do, and can't do. And one that's not a crackhead would be CRAZY to choose

a way of stress because of what others think. Italian women want a provider, too. Everyone complain's when they

don't get what they want. The thing is ... it's one thing to provide for YOUR family, but to provide for A WOMAN

with no kids? Somebody needs to get a job, and if it doesn't pay well enough, somebody needs to go back to

school, and then get a job!

[Sigfreed]

CulturalBlonde

I

was surprised that women aren't looked down on as much when they live at home with their parent(s) as men are.

Especially when a woman has a child or children. It seems acceptable. Why wouldn't it be just as acceptable for

men? Is it a macho thing?

I know what you mean as when I was 21yrs old living at home ppl thought I was

lazy, no ambition or career. I was a student for crying out loud & I'm returning to school for 12 months now in

computers but I've been on my own for almost 5yrs now.

I don't exactly understand it all, but that's some of

the reasons I've come to learn. Plus men are also looked down upon I guess b/c some ppl women especially sometimes

tend to think less of the man if he's still at home. Yet I have other 27yr old friends still at home working &

going to school.

[Pancho1188]

Well simply

because women are hardwired to be attracted to someone who can protect and provide. On all levels, emotional,

materialistic etc.

Why? Well it makes sense that a woman would choose a man that is going to protect and

perpetuate their genes, meaning their offspring. Thus its attractive if the man can show that he can handle himself,

his life and possibly an offpsring and care and provide for it.

This is correct from an evolutionary

psychology perspective. Men need youth and attractiveness (e.g. .70 waist-hip ratio, child-rearing breasts,

healthy-looking overall, symmetry, etc.) to find good child-bearers, and women need strong supporters (i.e. ability

to support oneself, a mate and a child; e.g. physically strong in hunter-gatherer times, money in modern times).



Houses and cars are status symbols. In US society, they're symbols of your ability to support yourself.

Although I live on my own and look like a very eligible bachelor, I take the metro around town. Whoops, my

attractiveness just decreased by 40%. Sure, I save hundreds of dollars per month so I can buy the things I want to

buy or save for the future, but I pay the price of looking like I rely on a public transportation system to get

around. You can tell a city mouse vs. a suburbanite by how bad not having wheels makes you look in their view.

Ironically, I do have a car...just not in the city. It doesn't matter:

"You ain't gotta be rich, but f*ck

that...how we gonna get around on your bus pass...before I put this p*ssy on your mustache?"

--- Can I Get

a...


That's life, I guess.