Reply With QuoteWell I did come across this link
earlier today.
[color=#8
00080]5 Sure Signs She's Hot For You[/color]
Her gestures, glances and body posture all speak to the real
question: Is she coming on to you? Know the signs.
It was pretty interesting.
Body language part 2
Due to the
other thread on body language being hijacked and the advice of Friendly1 and Chemist, I am going to start a new
thread on the topic. If you haven't read the old thread it can be found here and has lots of good info in it.
http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=
12330&page=1&pp=30
I would like to start this thread by asking this question: If a fly was sitting on the
wall looking at you what would he see, in other words how do others read your body language?
Any other
discussions on body language are welcome in this thread but please keep it to that topic thanks.
Well I did come across this link
earlier today.
[color=#8
00080]5 Sure Signs She's Hot For You[/color]
Her gestures, glances and body posture all speak to the real
question: Is she coming on to you? Know the signs.
It was pretty interesting.
These signs are way too specific.
Yes, they are there when she's HOT for you. However, how about if she just shows a mild interest or if she's
naturally introverted? If you wait for a girl to show you these 5 signs, you're ruling out most of the hits your
going to get. Most hits I get are more subtle than this - such as she seems to appear out of nowhere several times
during the evening - and she starts talking loudly to her friends right when I enter her periphery.
You, on
the other hand, need to convey a non-needy, non-wussy, non-eager to please man that is confident and has no need for
another women in his life.
I'll leave it at that for now.
Ya know what has always worked
well for me?
Talk to her....and...if your wondering if she is interested...try asking for a kiss...if she likes
you,your good to go.If she doesnt,I will visit you in the hospital.
You, on the other hand, need to
convey a non-needy, non-wussy, non-eager to please man that is confident and has no need for another women in his
life.
This describes me to a tee. In fact, I am sure it is how the fly saw me, just before I squashed his guts
all over the wall.
As far as the article goes, I found it interesting. I don't believe they were advocating the
need for ALL five signs to be present. I especially liked the involuntary eyebrow raise, maybe that means her
sub-conscious finds you attractive.
i would say, never ask for a kiss. GO for a kiss. there isOriginally Posted by tim929
this one test you can do for a girl. if this test shows positive signs, you have very good cards to kiss her.
just imagine you ask a girl for a kiss, she says 'no'. this could be just one of the tests she makes on
you. OR it could really mean you are not allowed to kiss her. so by asking you can not always know, especially if
you dont know her well!
i have another personal strategy, that often leads to kissing. but the basic things
is, you have to know there is atleast some positive (sexual) chemistry between you and her. now, you can say to her,
"i have something to tell you", then go near her ear, whisper something or talk in a low resonantic voice. do some
really good voice tonality work and then when you have said in the ear what you wanted to say, then pull your head
head back, but slowly by your cheek touching her cheek, like gliding backwards. hard to explain. talk something (it
does not really matter what) in a deep slow tonlity, pause, continue. if she likes this, she wont pull away.
eventually work your way to her lips. works for me!
OMG!
Don't ever F****IN'
ASK FOR A KISS!
Unless, its a wise ass sort of thing.
Just go in for the kiss! Just do it. No
preparing - just do it.
She turns away or worse laughs uncontrollobly - move on!
I agree, mild disinterest and self-assurance can make certain women want you if you have other"You, on the other hand,
need to convey a non-needy, non-wussy, non-eager to please man that is confident and has no need for another women
in his life."
attractive attributes. Of course other "attractive attributes" is the key word here. However, it must be used with
discretion as not all women are the same. In high school we simply called this game playing hard to get. Women play
this game better than most men. When I was younger and dumber I used it, especially when I sensed I had the upper
hand. Once I had them in the pocket I tortured them before presenting my midnight surprise, and usually ended up
dumping them soon after. I was a total ass. However it sometimes backfired with smart women as they sensed they were
being played. Some women that were initially attracted figured my mild disinterest meant I was a playboy with too
much booty on hand. Others thought I was in a relationship or even gay. What I'm trying to say is be flexible and
use the best tool for the job. You'll enjoy more success.
I tired of game playing long ago and now prefer
being simple and direct. If the woman wants me to perform that song and dance, I warn her and, if she persists,
quickly move on. There are lots of women out there...
Last edited by Gegogi; 01-25-2005 at 01:50 AM.
"I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi
When it says legs are
crossed towards you does that mean the top leg is, the bottom leg is, or the overall direction of both legs at the
knees are?
Here are some quick
examples of body language as they realate to this business world primarily but to other aspects of life as
well.
Tightly crossed arms, high on the chest, looks defensive and uninterested
High-pitched,
fast-paced voice may sound girly and lack authority
Rolling on your heels looks like you are insecure
and childish
Lazing about on a chair appears arrogant and lazy
A shoulder shrug signals that you
don’t believe what's been said, even if it was you that said it!</B>
Playing with your hair implies an
inner build-up of anxiety
Pulling your ear gives the impression you're struggling to reach a
decision
Touching your face is a sign of nervousness or possibly even dishonesty
Stroking your neck
can make you seem stressed or flirtatious
Wringing your hands shows concern
Fidgeting suggests
worry
Foot tapping impatience
Pen drumming boredom
Off topic - but reply to playing
hard to get.
I never said be disinterested.
In fact, it helps to be interested in her by talking about
her to her. And I further show this by keeping my hands to myself in the beginning. I keep talking and
conversating, all the while making her laugh.
There is a way to show interest without saying it nor doing
those things mommy said to - being nice to her etc.
Hard to get? Sort of. The prize isn't perceived as
worth much if its too easy to get - and she has to come to this realization on her own, all the while feeling an
attraction.
I didn't read your posts until now (sorry, I didn't realize you said it first!--thought it" I never said be
disinterested."
was DumLuc). I was simply drawing a parallel between my juvenile games and the "non-needy, non-wussy don't any more
women in my life" school of fuckenfast.com. My post-pube techniques were pure acting and not a philosophy: you lure
them in, snag 'um, pull away just enough to torture them a bit and swoop in for the kill. That was my juvenile game
plan and it worked well much of the time. The sad thing is I could only be so cold and calculating with women I
didn't particularly like other than for a piece of ass. Glad that stage is long over. Incidentally, I learned the
technique from females I had unsuccessfully woed in college. They used it on me, leaving me feeling rather dickless.
It gives you a false sense of power that, unfortunately, dissipates quickly until you find another mark.
here are some body language i use.
i used it all my life before i knew it was a part of seduction. since you are the prize: you never give the girl
your body langauge right away. she can receive more body language once she earned it and eventually get it all if
she is cool enough. like if i'm at a bar getting a drink, i 'll initially talk to a girl but with my body facing
the bar and my head turned towards her. she's doing cool stuff, i'll give her some more body langauge and if she
is cool enough to get into rapport then she'll get full body language. never ever lean in if you can't hear her or
whatever, make her lean in to you.
if i want to see if a girl that i wouldn't talk to is interested in me i
check for pupil dilation. your pupils get dilated when you see something attractive. i do this with girls i just
have to interact with because it's a part of llife like cashiers or customer service type stuff. grooming
themselves, when they run their hand through the side of their hair above their ear. observing if they're being a
little too helpful or smiling at me. i live in the northeast, people don't smile at you for no reason.
Thank you Trock
for getting back on track! How easy is it for you to tell if there eyes have dialated? Do you study them first so
that you can tell the difference? Does it happen for an expanded period of time or just a couple of seconds? I
assume you do this while introducing yourself and holding that eye contact longer than normal, is that correct? If
not how are you able to accomplish it without looking obvious?
you can look in the mirror right
now, they'll be normal size. go look up some porn and see how big they get. you can't really miss it in a girl if
their pupils are dilated. just look into her eyes, that's normal alpha behavior anyways. if you meet somebody
important or powerful when they shake you hands they look you in the eyes and hold the gaze. so while you're
looking check for pupil dilation.
Yeah I already hold the
gaze, I was just concerned about looking weird while trying to figure that out. I will work on that skill this week
Trock and let you know the results. One more question for ya, Does this happen only when you first meet someone or
each time you encounter them?
You quoted me first thing! How could you not read it, but repond to it by quoting
it!!!!!
Internet communication robs of seeing your beedy little eyes! I need body language cues! HA
<BTW I'm bein a wise ass, I understood
what you really meant>
Leg crossing is complicated. So is arm crossing. Generally speaking, if she
directs her body toward you, she is interested in you (or someone or something in your vicinity).
To determine
if you are the object of interest, every couple of minutes you should EITHER change your body position (to give her
an opportunity to mirror you) or move to another location.
If she mirrors or follows your change in direction,
she is interested.
Usually
indicates a closed mind. Anyone sitting that way doesn't want to hear what is being said and probably a change in
topic would work better than continuing with whatever is being said.
High-pitched, fast-paced
voiceUsually indicates nervousness, anxiety, or fear of failure.may sound girly and lack authority
People most often lapse into this mode when they are speaking in front of audiences, but it could also be an
indication that someone is lying or trying to cover up something.
Rolling on your heelsUsually indicates a desire or willingness to take action, or a desire to getlooks like
you are insecure and childish
away from a situation. Impatience and eagerness are easily confused but a supervisor who is trying to rally the
troops should be encouraged by seeing this kind of reaction.
A shoulder shrugNot necessarily. A shoulder shrug cansignals that you
don’t believe what's been said, even if it was you that said it!
be a sign of resignation (what can we do about it?). A shoulder shrug can be used to reassure someone who is not
feeling positive or supportive of a position being pitched or explained. Shoulder shrugs are dismissive actions,
but the dismissiveness can negative, affirming, or neutral.
Playing with your hairOr intense concentration. It is, however, an immature behavior in men (who areimplies an
inner build-up of anxiety
not expected to have enough hair to play with in most office environments). This is also a classic flirting move
for women, so hair-playing in the office can simply indicate a girl has an interest in someone else nearby.
Pulling your earIt can alsogives the impression you're struggling to reach a decision
mean "I don't want to be hearing this" or "I don't want to be saying this". I have noticed more and more that I
get a little "itch" on one of my ear lobes just before I say something I'd rather not say. Naturally, I reach up
and tug at it to relieve the itch. If I could turn off that itch mechanism, I would be a happier body language
projector.
Touching your faceis a sign of nervousness or possibly even dishonesty
Depending on how you touch your face, it can also be a sign of deep thought, grave concern, boredom, or that you
have something on your face.
Stroking your neckcan make you seem stressed or flirtatious
Neck-stroking is more common among women than men and it is usually a sign that the girl needs or wants
reassurance OR that she wants a man to appreciate her beauty/youthfulness.
Wringing your handsOr stress or anger or fear (the latter two of which overlap with concern).
shows concern
FidgetingOr boredom or pent-up energy or a desire to leave.suggests worry
Foot tappingOr anger or just a sense of keeping in time or rhythm with what isimpatience
going on (usually when listening to music, but it can happen around noisy environments). Foot-tapping can also,
therefore, be an indication of relaxed contentment.
Pen drummingOr anger orboredom
deep concentration or anxiety.
Few actions by themselves really disclose what state of mind produced them. Some
actions, when greatly exaggerated (such as crouching to avoid being hurt), are self-explanatory, but most are not.
Don Steele likes to say, You cannot NOT communicate.
So, when you hold back
like that, don't deceive yourself into thinking you are not revealing something about yourself. At the very least,
you are demonstrating some self-control. She may find that appealing. At worst, you may come off as being rigid
and fearful. She probably won't find that appealing. Staying relaxed and confident are key to making it work.
[quote[if i want to see if a girl that i wouldn't talk to is interested in me i check for pupil dilation. your
pupils get dilated when you see something attractive.[/quote]
Pupil dilation occurs for other (and many very
common) reasons, too. It is not a controllable behavior and is not a reliable indicator of interest. It is better
to use it as a vindicator of other possble signals of interest.
These are good signs to look for.grooming themselves, when they run their
hand through the side of their hair above their ear. observing if they're being a little too helpful or smiling at
me. i live in the northeast, people don't smile at you for no reason.
When I first started learning about dilation, I had similar questions. Now, I know what to look for. I Just let
it happen and allow myself to get lost in her eyes.
In a brightly lit room, a girl's pupils will be like small
dots within her irises. If she becomes attracted to me, her pupils will enlarge to the point where they take up
most of the space and the irises are just thin borders around the large black regions.
The old "your eyes are
like limpid pools" line comes back to me in moments like that.
Normally, their pupils don't become so enlarged,
but you can still notice changes if you tease them and don't stare at their eyes for too long.
It's best if
you can lock gazes with a girl. You end up shutting out the whole world and she is focused totally on you. I've
found it difficult to do that with Asian girls, though, as they usually look down or away (out of a cultural
tendency to show respect for others).
When an Asian girl locks eyes with you, that is a BIG thing.
you're supposed to stay relaxed and
confident at the same time while making her earn your body language. this isn't done all night. i usually end up
facing a girl completely after a few minutes.
shouldn't something that is uncontrollable a better inidicator
of interest. but yeah i used it in conjuction with other cues.
you have to
differentiate between 1st generation and 2nd generation girls though. the 2nd generation on plays by the regular
rules in my experience because they lost all the cultural stuff growing up in the US.
Now I understand that point but alot of what I read says that I should
mirror her to make her feel more comfortable. So in your opinion which is it, should I do the leading or should I
do the mirroring?
IN response
to this I should have been a little more specific than just the business world. Really what I meant to write is
more or less someone who is the boss or giving a presentation or speech. Thanks for the better breakdown of what I
wrote.
Like most things in life,"you have to differentiate
between 1st generation and 2nd generation girls though. the 2nd generation on plays by the regular rules in my
experience because they lost all the cultural stuff growing up in the US."
it depends! Not all first or second generation Asians fall into those stereotypes. I'm a first generation Asian,
born in Korea, and English is my second language. I moved into a white suburb while in grade school and lived
isolated from my culture (my mother married a white guy). I'm Westernized to the max. Gee wilikins, my English is
better than most native speakers I know. I've been told by more traditional Koreans I walk, talk and smell like a
white guy (must be the the NPA)! In contrast, my cousins were born and raised in LA's Korea Town, attending church,
school, etc., with other Koreans. They're bilingual but are more traditional and Korean than I or my sisters.
Although their English is okay, they have obvious accents. Moreover, many of them are more traditional than women in
Korea. Large ethnic communities, islolated from their mainstream culture, often preserve their traditions better
than their native country.
It's wise to forget the formulaic approach and learn to handle Asian women as
individuals for best results. Nothing pisses off an Asian woman more than being stereotyped by someone outside their
race.
Incidentally, Asian men and women in Hawaii--even 4th generation+--rarely look in you the eye unless
intimate with your or about to kick your ass. It's considered disrespectful in most other situations. Mainland
visitors, especially military, often wrongly interpret this behavior as racial hostility. Others think local Asians
suffer from low self-esteem! Last semester I had an Asian female student from Seattle in one of my classes. She
fearlessly looked anyone in the eye and pissed off half the class (mostly Asian) because of it. She didn't say
anything rude but was perceived as crazy and a bitch due to this cultural disconnect. She was actually a very nice
girl.
In Korean culture is considered rude to touch a customer's hand. Korean retailers show respect to
customers by laying their change on the countertop. I've seen GIs curse Korean shop keepers because they didn't
look them in the eye and then treated them as if their hands were dirty!
I think you mean something other than what
I originally understood by "earn your body language". You're really saying something like, "earn your body's
expression of interest in her". I think.
Well, you know more
than I do, so I'll defer to your judgement (ON EDIT: But I'll keep what Gegogi says in mind, too). I've been
second-guessing myself with a Chinese girl I met a couple of years ago. I rarely see her now. She grew up in the
U.S. and had a boyfriend when I first met her. She hasn't had a boyfriend for a long time and I've always thought
that was kind of strange. I have been thinking lately that she just doesn't want to give her heart very easily to
anyone.
Of course, this girl has flirted with me in the past, and is quite beautiful. One night, she very
calculatedly and deliberately gave me a full side view as she arched her back. That is SUCH a sexy move.
But she
is much younger than me and doesn't chase guys (they usually chase her anyway). We've had a few misconnects and I
feel she gave up on me a long time ago.
Anyway, most of my eye-locking lately (with Asian girls) seems to have
been with the more traditional ones, but it's hard for me to figure out who is traditional and who isn't. I just
out-and-out asked the med student the other night if she is, and she admitted she is very NON-traditional. By that
point, my interest was waning anyway. She is smart, sweet, beautiful, and sexy, but unless she changes directions in
her life, she and I will never be more than just friends. (And, no, she is not wild -- as far as I can tell, she is
pretty conservative by American standards.)
Intentional mirroring or
lead mirroring is how you establish rapport with a person. That really means you are helping the person to feel
comfortable in your presence and emotionally in tune with you.
Rapport-building is part of most, if not all, of
the dating/seduction techniques I have read or read about, including Don Steele's book and a couple of business
body language books (selling, after all, relies extensively on seduction).
So, you have to decide for yourself
whether you want to take the lead and try to build rapport. Just keep in mind that it's still a numbers game.
Some guys feel better if they are in the driver's seat, because if they don't see the girl responding they blow
her off and move on.
But if you're thinking to yourself, "She may like me", and you have the time to let her
show her hand, letting her take the lead can be enlightening.
Of course, few women will take the lead for long.
They try to make men they like feel comfortable and relaxed, and they do so through a variety of means: acting very
interested in what the guy is saying, laughing at his jokes, mirroring his body language, touching him, asking him
questions, affirming his opinions, and generally following whatever non-lead he provides until he gets the clue and
takes over.
Sometimes they just realize they made a mistake, found a really shy guy, and lose interest. But
they do express their interest in so many ways we guys consider to be subtle -- even super-subtle -- that I think
most guys never see the signals. I certainly didn't get it for a very long time.
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