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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Authentic Alpha Male?

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Are you Alpha?

    Does it really make one bit of difference? Let's see what this fella has to say about

    it.........

    Dear Friend ,

    As you know, women are attracted to men they can respect. Men worthy of

    respect are often called an "alpha male." These men are considered to be socially superior, more desirable,

    basically the ones who command the respect of men and women alike.


    But, let's face it, some guys just

    aren't natural leaders, dominate, or aggressive. In fact, because of their innate personality and disposition some

    guys aren't EVER going to be able to fit that description of an "alpha male"... no matter what they try to

    do.


    What about them? Are they stuck living out their lives as "beta males" who are stepped on,

    disrespected, and ignored by women?


    No, not at all. In fact, these otherwise "beta males" can actually get

    MORE respect than the typical "alpha male." I'll show you why later in this article.


    But first, how is an

    alpha male defined? Is an alpha male defined by a specific set of behaviors? Or is an alpha male defined

    by

    the benefits he receives (respect, admiration, attention, etc.)?

    I would say that an alpha male

    is defined by the benefits - the behaviors are just a means of achieving the benefits. And therein lies the key for

    you...


    There is more than one way to be the alpha male.

    ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 1

    :


    Typically people think of the alpha male as the built, popular guy that is always the center of

    attention whenever there is a

    gathering of people. When a guy disrespects him he is quick to get in his face

    - the challenger usually backs down quickly, intimidated by his dominant mannerisms. This guy will be classified as

    an alpha male by most peoples definition.


    But, let me give you another, slightly different, picture of

    what could be an alpha male - you decide if you agree...


    ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 2 :

    He's rarely

    the center of attention. He's not particularly good-looking or muscular. But, the funny thing is... when he has

    something to say people listen. People listen because they respect him. They respect him because he radiates

    strength and

    positivism. The strength is a result of being so secure and confident with who he is. He's

    genuine, real, and authentic.

    People can't help but notice and admire that. He has clear boundaries. Guys

    don't mess with him because he doesn't mess with them. Women notice that guys don't mess with him, they notice

    that when he talks, though it's not often, people listen to what he has to say. Women admire this quiet power and

    are drawn to it. No, he's not the type draw crowds with his extroverted antics, and he's not going to go around

    challenging all the other guys in

    "the pack," he's not that type... and he's perfectly fine with that.

    He's not out for other peoples acceptance, he doesn't need

    other people's approval because he is

    confident with himself.


    To me, the second guy is more of an alpha male than the first guy we talked about.

    In fact, I think he is 10 TIMES the man that the other guy is. The aggressive behavior the other guy displays could

    be considered insecure (which repels women). This type of behavior seems especially insecure in comparison to the

    second guy.


    You may not be the type to get up in the middle of a crowd and start telling jokes, you may

    not be the type who is willing to

    fight other guys to communicate your status, but that doesn't mean you

    can't get all the respect you deserve.


    I pity the guys that try to be an alpha male (using Alpha Approach

    Number 1) when it goes against their nature. They end up

    coming off as very fake - the respect they are

    seeking eludes them... and always will as long as they aren't being themselves.


    So, I suppose the

    underlying message of this article is that you should always be genuine - our human ability to sense fakeness is

    uncanny so don't think that you are fooling anyone by trying to be someone other than yourself.


    If you

    want to impress women, if you want the respect of women, if you want to attract women to you, then practice being

    more like yourself and stop trying to be like something that you aren't.


    Be happy and content with who

    you are.


    It sounds cheesy and trite but I hope that from this article you can see just how important that

    message is to your success not only with women, but with making friends, and advancing in your

    career.


    People seek out others who are authentic as friends, lovers, and partners - they trust these

    people more, they admire them, and

    they like them.


    Why be anything but yourself?



    Thoughts, ideas? Anyone? Anyone?

    NOTE: This material is testable during your final

    exam ... study it carefully.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  2. #2
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Pretty on target. Though I'd

    argue that the "authentic you" could include all sorts of new attitudes, approaches, and sides of yourself that you

    haven't yet been privy to. In other words, just because you might never've acted that way doesn't mean it's not

    in you to do so naturally.

    Good piece, though. Where did you find it?

    And why the ?
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    Good piece,

    though. Where did you find it?

    And why the ?
    DatingClass, and the question mark + the confused face

    was me digging for people such as yeeself thoughts on the subjecto matter, Signor Holmes.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  4. #4
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Smile How to get romantic partners, in one easy lesson (with a note on confidence)

    That fella said some good things, of course.

    There is no

    substitute for being real and actually getting along with people. You have to understand yourself

    and other people
    in a general sense, and stay present (e.g., putting yourself in another's place,

    looking to understand your own reactions, real wants; and feelings.)

    If you have this you have most everything.

    And if you don't you have very little indeed.

    That is what people should be focusing on, as it's way

    more powerful than all the "pickup technology," combined. We stress out about getting partners way too much.

    Remember, "she" (or he) is a person just like you are.

    If you don't do these things, you don't have a grip.

    You gotta know what's going on.

    It's OK to know "seduction strategies", but I recommend forgetting them

    around times when you're interacting with people, and just be present (see above).

    Women sense this, of

    course, and love this quality in a man. But that appreciation is only a symptom of the real benefits -- which

    include actual great relationships with potential partners. This sets the stage for romance and intimacy, by

    giving you something -- an ideal thing -- to work with.

    If you then feel chemistry with the person, which most

    people are quite qualified to detect; the rest is easy. You don't even need the other's opinion. With

    experience and self-honesty,
    you can tell by your own reactions to them whether there is chemistry. For

    example, it will feel natural, and you will genuinely be fond of them and enjoy them as a person. You might even get

    an erection. If you "have a grip" (Not on your erection, silly! Again, see above.) the chemistry you feel will

    almost invariably be mutual. That's just the way chemistry is.

    Notice that if you achieve these things

    you will already have a lot of natural confidence: You will literally know what's going on, and know what

    you are doing. You'll know many things she is experiencing. You'll know what you are feeling. Others can't shake

    this knowledge. You will already know that there is chemistry. Nothing in any ambiguous way she acts will change

    your opinion. (assuming you're not a psycho, of course.) When she looks into your eyes she will see that you

    already know the "answer"; (to basic questions the moment --that is, life -- asked of you all, to put it poetically)

    just because you really do. You don't have to act like you know. No need to worry.

    On top of it you

    will be meeting the other person's need for real human interaction with someone who cares enough to really be

    there.

    Fairly simple, isn't it? People have been hooking up with each other since God was young. I predict the

    ladies might vouch for what I'm saying here.

    Of course, you also have to have a little something going for you

    in some way, and have some self respect. But the rest is cake decoration at best, and irrelevant at worst.
    Last edited by DrSmellThis; 02-11-2005 at 12:50 AM.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  5. #5
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    The two examples are poor

    representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of course, women seeking

    stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number one would be

    favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The examples in the

    article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male tends to be an

    overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by culturalblonde
    The two

    examples are poor representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of

    course, women seeking stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number

    one would be favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The

    examples in the article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male

    tends to be an overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.
    Pretty much, CB, but like

    everything else ... good man ... good woman ... real man .... moma's boy .... etc. etc. ... it depends on each

    person's definition of the word ... this being ALPHA MALE. Someone told me I was Alpha ... I was offended.



    But who am I to say what someone else thinks? I'm just a man try to enjoy the last part of me life, and will

    do anything to make it mo better!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  7. #7
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Why would you be offended?

    What is your definition of alpha male? I would prefer an alpha male as opposed to the omega or beta male.

  8. #8
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    It's usually not that clear cut.

    Almost never at least.
    "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
    --Benjamin Franklin

  9. #9
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Culturalblonde
    The two

    examples are poor representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of

    course, women seeking stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number

    one would be favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The

    examples in the article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male

    tends to be an overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.
    Overachievement--in

    any area--automatically affects one's social status.

    To me, the article seems to imply that, in the cases

    of Alphas both A and B, the respect factor is a byproduct of just "being unapologetically you." Is

    that crucial trait not at the core of every "alpha male"'s being?
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  10. #10
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    I know that in high school

    there was always a part of me that resented when the asshole football player, who beat everybody up on the weekends

    and caused all the kids to fear him and try to win his favor to protect their asses, got all the beautiful women. He

    cared about nobody but himself, was sadistic in his joy of harming others; and yet these "amazing" women, ones

    typically thought of as among the hottest, "cared" for him. I was confused because I thought some of these women

    were "nice" and didn't see how they couldn't go for me instead, a "nice, understanding, creative, and smart" guy

    who listened to them, but was only second string on the basketball team (not due to any lack of talent, of course

    ). Honestly, a part of that resentment stays with you. The approval of women tends to make guys feel validated as

    a person, and vice versa. Especially at that age.

    Since then, of course, I discovered there are "other ways" to

    have great intimate relations with women, besides being a dirtbag.

    Perhaps that's where Mobes was

    coming from? He doesn't want to be seen as that guy?
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  11. #11
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Doc, you grew up in a football state.

    Just move one state over and you'd be good.

    I hear what you are saying, from a symbolic sense, and it

    doesn't end in high school. Hell, serial killers get laid more than anyone.

    Basically, approval from

    women can't be tied with your validation as a person. Evolution has kinda messed up the process because all of

    the "shortcuts" has led to what today is out of date and illogicial.
    "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
    --Benjamin Franklin

  12. #12
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bjf
    I hear what you

    are saying, from a symbolic sense, and it doesn't end in high school. Hell, serial killers get laid more than

    anyone.

    Basically, approval from women can't be tied with your validation as a person. Evolution has kinda

    messed up the process because all of the "shortcuts" has led to what today is out of date and

    illogicial.
    Would you care to expand on that, bjf?
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrSmellThis
    I know that

    in high school there was always a part of me that resented when the asshole football player, who beat everybody up

    on the weekends and caused all the kids to fear him and try to win his favor to protect their asses, got all the

    beautiful women. He cared about nobody but himself, was sadistic in his joy of harming others; and yet these

    "amazing" women, ones typically thought of as among the hottest, "cared" for him. I was confused because I thought

    some of these women were "nice" and didn't see how they couldn't go for me instead, a "nice, understanding,

    creative, and smart" guy who listened to them, but was only second string on the basketball team (not due to any

    lack of talent, of course ). Honestly, a part of that resentment stays with you. The approval of women tends to

    make guys feel validated as a person, and vice versa. Especially at that age.

    Since then, of course, I

    discovered there are "other ways" to have great intimate relations with women, besides being a dirtbag.



    Perhaps that's where Mobes was coming from? He doesn't want to be seen as that guy?
    Thanks, Doc!

    That was my definition of an Alpha Male, CBlonde, until I started reading on the forum. This Forum has

    lots of good info, if you can hang in there, annnnnnd lots of intelligent minds, which is always a good thing if I

    understand what they're saying.

    This Forum also confused me ... Body Language ... and it's all of

    your faults! Speaking of which, I'm going to the Body Language section to point blame on my latest confusion

    that happened a week ago.

    Thanks again, Doc, 'cause I was tongue tied thinking of how to respond to

    CuturalB.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  14. #14
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Definition??? It was more

    like an example of a bully. I view an alpha male as self-confident, a leader and/or intelligent. Anyone below the

    rank would be lacking in self-esteem and would try to move up by means of aggression, as used in the football player

    example.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by culturalblonde
    Definition??? It was more like an example of a bully. I view an alpha male as self-confident,

    a leader and/or intelligent. Anyone below the rank would be lacking in self-esteem and would try to move up by means

    of aggression, as used in the football player example.
    To me, that's what an Alpha Male was, until this

    forum. Never looked at it through another lense. But yes, confident, leader, and/or intelligent could fall into that

    mix, but ... a thug, a pimp, someone that demands to be in charge (the asshole type), a control freak, an abuser,

    etc. etc. can all have those qualities, and that's where my definition was placed, and to me, that's not pretty.

    That's why I was offended. They explained why they thought I was alpha, it cleared it up, and gave me a different

    view on Alpha Male. I'm no longer offended.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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