Dear Systems
Analyst,
I am desperate for some help!
I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
and
found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also
took up a lot of space and valuable
resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0
Installs itself into all other
programs and launches during systems
initialization,where it monitors all other system activities. Applications
such as
"Boys'Night Out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run,and crash the system whenever selected.
Attempting to
operate selected "Saturday Rugby 6.3" always fails
and"Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead. I cannot seem to keep
Wife
1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications.
I am thinking of going
back to "Girlfriend7.0", but de-installing
doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help?
... AND THIS
IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding.
Many Customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife
1.0 is Merely a
UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run
everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0
was not designed to do this and it is
Impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
system
once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have
ended up with even
more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support
and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself,
I recommend you keep it installed
and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems
occur,whatever you think has caused them, you must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME
program and avoid attempting
to use the *Esc-Key.
It may be necessary to run C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME a number of times,and eventually hope
that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high-maintenance programme, can be
very
rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
software such as" Flowers 2.0"and
"Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\KISSES
600.0" or"TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0", or even "EatingOutWithout
The Kids
7.2.1" (if child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short
Skirt
Version)
or "OneNight Stand 3.2" (any version), as this is not a supported
application for Wife 1.0 and the
system will almost certainly crash.
BEST OF LUCK!
Your Systems Analyst
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