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  1. #1
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    Default Will the 'Nice Guy' ever get the girl?

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    I was told somewhere that "you don't need to be an asshole to get a girl, if you keep being nice,

    eventually you will get the girl"... but I'm slowly starting to disagree with this over my past history...



    does anyone feel the same? has anyone here proven the statement above?

  2. #2
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    I find that when you look at the

    nice guy, and then put a definition to him, the definition is not nice guy, it's WUSSY!

    NICE

    GUY:
    noun (1) WUSSY (2) NON-WUSSY

    And, yes, the nice guy will get the girl,

    but it won't be nice guy number (1) ... not for long, anyway.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  3. #3
    Full Member lordcrazyd's Avatar
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    younger girls typically

    don't want nice guys. That slowly fades I've heard when women get older... I've been the nice guy for to looong

    and been pushed around by girls..
    Not anymore,.....

  4. #4
    Phero Dude Marlboro_man's Avatar
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    You can be nice as you want

    and still get the girl, you just can't be a wuss. What's that mean? You can be chilvarous, polite with manners,

    and respectful however don't give in to their every whim and pull back a little. THis will take you far in life.

  5. #5
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Oh no. Not this old debate

    again.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  6. #6
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Same old debate, Doc. It will

    never end because about the time one group gets it the next group is just starting to re-invent dating and

    seduction.

    There's a huge difference between being a nice guy and letting people (women) walk all over you. I

    can assure you that a true nice guy can and will get as many women as he can handle providing he takes care of the

    other things like hygene and grooming. Being nice doesn't mean allowing others to walk on you. It means being

    polite and well mannered and treating people with decency and respect. To work, it means being self assured enough

    to walk away from women that want to play games. If you are allowing yourself to be being pushed around or taken

    advantage of, you are being a wuss not a nice guy.

    In reality, being a self confident nice guy may get more

    women than most other approaches. The reaction from a woman when she starts the teasing games and you politely

    excuse yourself to go talk to another woman or some guy is great. Some get angry, others confused but most are so

    startled they don't know how to react. Making it plain that you refuse to play the games takes all the control away

    from them without ever resorting to asshole or wuss tactics. In my experience, they end up trying a lot harder to

    get my attention.

    Mobley,

    I agree that it applies to wimps, wusses and other lower life forms but not to

    true gentlemen in the majority of cases. Of course, there are no hard and fast rules without exceptions. Overall,

    I've found being above all the seduction games has got me more sex and better relationships than my friends who use

    the asshole approach.
    Last edited by belgareth; 01-29-2005 at 05:54 AM.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  7. #7
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    You said it, Bel. Tis all about

    YOU being in control (NON-WUSSY ), and not being controlled (WUSSY ). Annnnd,

    it's done without changing a facial expression.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  8. #8
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57
    You said it,

    Bel. Tis all about YOU being in control (NON-WUSSY ), and not being controlled

    (WUSSY ). Annnnd, it's done without changing a facial expression.
    It can also be done

    while smiling slightly or even with a chuckle. I have a reputation for being amused most of the time, some people

    tell me I seem to be quietly laughing at the world. No matter what my reasons, projecting the image of being amused

    at their games destroys the whole thing for them. That type of women really don't like to be laughed at.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  9. #9
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    I don't necessarily think

    being a nice guy is the same as being a wimp (or wuss).

    If you are using "nice guy" to get the girl then you

    need to reassess yourself and find out why you must play this role. Find out what kind of girl is BEST FOR YOU. Or

    do you keep falling for the same kind of girl? Don't stop being a nice guy, but do stop trying to be the "nice

    guy" to get the girl.

    “if you keep being nice, eventually you will get the girl” I doubt it. Because the

    longer you spend time with a girl as a friend, buddy, “nice guy”… etc. that is how she will perceive you. The

    sooner you tell the girl that you are interested in her, the sooner you will know how far you can go with the

    relationship. If she’s not interested, don’t take it personal… move on.

  10. #10
    Phero Dude Surreal's Avatar
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    according to my personal

    experiences I notice girls want the man to take control of the situation. They want control 20% of the time, if you

    give it to them when they want it then you are a nice guy. Just learn how to take control the other 80%.

    In

    other words..... wear the daddy pants.

  11. #11
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surreal
    In other words.....

    wear the daddy pants.
    Do they have those at Target?
    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  12. #12
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surreal
    according to my

    personal experiences I notice girls want the man to take control of the situation. They want control 20% of the

    time, if you give it to them when they want it then you are a nice guy. Just learn how to take control the other

    80%.

    In other words..... wear the daddy pants.
    Never give over control to anybody. Compromise, but

    always make it clear that you are doing so because you have choosen to. Always be in charge of yourself and what you

    do. Never accept anything else. That isn't meant to say that you need to control anybody else, only that nobody can

    do that to you. You make your own decisions. It can be done in a quiet, calm and gentlemanly manner while remaining

    firm. You'll be surprised how much respect that will earn you over time.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  13. #13
    Phero Dude Surreal's Avatar
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    ^^^^ agreed.

    control was a

    bad choice in words. Perhaps "assertive" would have been better.

  14. #14
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Anybody can assert all they

    want. Just so long as you always remember who is in charge of you it really makes no difference who is assertive

    when. You still do and think what you decide. Once people figure it out it makes life a lot simpler.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surreal
    according to my

    personal experiences I notice girls want the man to take control of the situation. They want control 20% of the

    time, if you give it to them when they want it then you are a nice guy. Just learn how to take control the other

    80%.

    In other words..... wear the daddy pants.
    To me, the nice guy (non wuss) wears the daddy pants, but

    without publisizing it. Mobley is a WUSS and a NON_WUSS ... I have no problem with MY woman running things, IF she

    runs it without disrepecting me. I call it alleviating worries/problems ... the BOOK says not to do that, but I

    think it CAN be done, depending on the situation. Once they cross the line, I take over, and if that's a problem,

    the discussion of which road she plans to travel when she leaving, is discussed.

    I don't disrepect, I won't

    be disrepected. I don't cheat, I won't be cheated on. Tis a tuff deal to have to play games. I rather play, how to

    get in my lady's panties, in 50 seconds or less.

    Every woman/man that said they have never/will never

    cheat on their mate, meant it when they said it. The outcome is a whole new story. There's always those two ways to

    handle the situation ... the WUSS-WAY, and the NONWUSS-WAY. Who's to say what's WUSS, and what's not? Depends on

    which/who's definition you use.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  16. #16
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57
    To me, the

    nice guy (non wuss) wears the daddy pants, but without publisizing it. Mobley is a WUSS and a NON_WUSS ... I have no

    problem with MY woman running things, IF she runs it without disrepecting me. I call it alleviating worries/problems

    ... the BOOK says not to do that, but I think it CAN be done, depending on the situation. Once they cross the line,

    I take over, and if that's a problem, the discussion of which road she plans to travel when she leaving, is

    discussed.

    I don't disrepect, I won't be disrepected. I don't cheat, I won't be cheated on. Tis a tuff deal

    to have to play games. I rather play, how to get in my ladies panties, in 50 seconds or less.

    Every

    woman/man that said they have never/will never cheat on their mate, meant it when they said it. The outcome is a

    whole new story. There's always those two ways to handle the situation ... the WUSS-WAY, and the NONWUSS-WAY.

    Who's to say what's WUSS, and what's not? Depends on which/who's definition you use.
    Don't

    need to publicise it who wears the daddy pants. You've got the right way to do it.

    Cheat? Why cheat? If you

    aren't satisfied with the lady you're with, get out, leave. Why disrespect the lady and yourself?
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Don't need to

    publicise it who wears the daddy pants. You've got the right way to do it.

    Cheat? Why cheat? If you aren't

    satisfied with the lady you're with, get out, leave. Why disrespect the lady and yourself?
    Bel, I like you

    more and more, each time I read your posts. No one can say you're not of human tissue!

    My bad on

    putting that S in publicizing. Don't know who invited it in there!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  18. #18
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Thanks, Mobley. It's mutual.

    You sound like one of the good guys.

    I do have my own way of seeing the world though.

    It has to do

    with a weird combination of upbringing, training experience and self directed study. In the end, the mix allows me

    to control my environment and relationships towards a happy life and that's what matters most. It sounds like you

    do much the same thing.

    Actually, I'm really a horrible old lecher who specializes in seducing cute younger

    women in the hopes they'll stay and care for me in my dotage. I'm even working on starting a harem. All

    the rest is made up as I go along.
    Last edited by belgareth; 01-29-2005 at 04:28 PM.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  19. #19
    Phero Dude Marlboro_man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Actually, I'm really a horrible old lecher who specializes in seducing cute younger women in

    the hopes they'll stay and care for me in my dotage. I'm even working on starting a harem. All the rest

    is made up as I go along.
    Now thats funny! But in all reality if you read what we

    all said from an objective point of view, you will see that we all mean the same thing, but use different diction.

    It's simply put worry about your self and be confident and the rest will fall in place.

  20. #20
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlboro_man
    Now thats

    funny! But in all reality if you read what we all said from an objective point of view, you will

    see that we all mean the same thing, but use different diction. It's simply put worry about your self and be

    confident and the rest will fall in place.
    Sounds like a great retirement plan to me!

    Pretty much, we

    are saying the same things. If you'll go back through the forum you'll find, as DST mentioned, that this is a very

    old topic. For some reason some people always want to misconstrue what we say about being a self confident gentleman

    to mean "Let women walk all over you". Not sure how they get that. I think it's in part because they get sucked

    into all the published nonsense about using control and dominance to get laid more often.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  21. #21
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Mine was sort of

    different. I was trying to make a point about "past history." If one is seeking another using the the "nice

    person" approach, then yes, there is some lack of confidence. But there is something about this person causing them

    to loose confidence (beauty, intelligence, social status...etc.) On the other hand, if this is repeated over time,

    then the person is being attracted to a certain type of person with characteristics that are similar to someone

    possibly in their past. This type of behavior needs to be put into check. Example: A person who claims that all

    their past relationships have been the same.

  22. #22
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Your right. Somebody once

    pointed out that men and women both tend to get involved with the same type person time and again and end up the

    same way time and again. You'd think that after being burned a time or two they would figure it out. Some do but

    the majority don't seem to.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Your right.

    Somebody once pointed out that men and women both tend to get involved with the same type person time and again and

    end up the same way time and again. You'd think that after being burned a time or two they would figure it out.

    Some do but the majority don't seem to.
    That pretty much sums it up, Bel. About 3 years ago, I had a female

    friend that said to me, "I keep ending up with jerks!" My response, with a smile, "Honey, you don't get it. You are

    attracted to jerks."

    Normally, everyone's gets the jerk lable when things don't go their way, no?
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  24. #24
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57
    Normally,

    everyone's gets the jerk lable when things don't go their way, no?
    Ain't that the truth?

    I

    remember sitting in court listening to my ex-wife testify when we were fighting over custody of my daughter. I was

    appalled at what a monster I was! I'm surprised they didn't chain me to the wall in the deepest, darkest, dampest

    dungeon they could find. What a terrible person I am, I'm so ashamed!
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    I remember

    sitting in court listening to my ex-wife testify when we were fighting over custody of my daughter. I was appalled

    at what a monster I was! I'm surprised they didn't chain me to the wall in the deepest, darkest, dampest dungeon

    they could find. What a terrible person I am, I'm so ashamed!


    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  26. #26
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    I once read an article in an

    alternative women’s magazine (Bust) which basically said: Nice guys start out by making you feel special and end up

    breaking your heart. Whereas with jerks you can always keep your emotional distance, and you never have to feel

    guilty about dumping them.
    Give truth a chance.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by a.k.a.
    I once read an

    article in an alternative women’s magazine (Bust) which basically said: Nice guys start out by making you feel

    special and end up breaking your heart. Whereas with jerks you can always keep your emotional distance, and you

    never have to feel guilty about dumping them.
    If you look at the nice guy sit-cha-tion, and look

    at the jerk sit-cha-tion, to me, it's the same thing. It's the woman's view, but either or, if it's not

    in the minds of both to make the relationship work, someone's gonna get hurt/ego crushed.

    Nice guy

    breaks your heart -vs- never feeling guilty about dumping THEM/him.


    Their both good excuses though ...

    for a female that's not really wanting to be/stay in a relationship = playerrette!
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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