The power of None, this might help explain things...

[Icehawk]

" Being a calm, rational, imperturbable

sort of person, it is not often that the mere presence of another person has the power to do any more than make me

recoil from the olfactory shock caused by their halitosis or their overpowering aftershave. But very occasionally

(about once a decade) I have found myself intensely affected by the mere presence of a particular man – so intensely

affected that it has taken every ounce of self-control to appear unmoved. The effect is extreme, both physically and

psychologically. Primal. Overwhelming. It feels as though the man has godlike power – the power of a man; masculine

power. You feel totally held by this power.

The desire to be taken by the man is so intense that it is

frightening. It can be difficult to breathe, or difficult to remain standing, let alone maintain a conversation.

Bone dry mouth, zero appetite, heart all over the place, the fear that you might faint, shaking like a leaf, body

positively screaming to be taken, a reckless willingness and primal desire to do whatever that man wants. The

masculine power of the man – you feel that power with every fibre of your being. Melting in a white-hot inferno of

desire, out of your senses, so far out of control psychologically that you can't even imagine being in control,

totally in his power. You feel owned by the man, totally his, totally submissive.

If at the time, you're at an

academic conference unrelated to your own field, and you are trying to have a highly technical discussion about an

arcane piece of research, say, being thus affected by a complete stranger can be a little disturbing. Just as well

it only happens once a decade. And just as well I have iron self-control.

I've been thinking about this a lot

lately. What exactly is it that causes this extreme response? Do other women experience this too? (Yes!) Is it

something that can develop in a particular man, or is it something that is either there or not there? What do these

men have that others don't? Are they the legendary human alpha males?

Why do some men have it and not others?

Is there actually something objectively different about them, and if so, what? Or is it a subjective thing, such

that a man whose presence would cause this response in me would leave another woman cold, and vise versa?

I

once asked a man if he was aware of having masculine power (he was a very long way away at the time!) and from his

answer, it seems that other women had felt it too, but he seemed to have no idea why, and assumed that all men

naturally have this indefinable, mysterious quality that might be termed “masculine power”. But they don't. Or

perhaps I am just blind to its existence in the vast majority of men.

Am I confusing psychological power with

masculinity? I myself have psychological power and strength, so I do not think of power as being a masculine

quality. And yet, this thing I am talking about feels to me overwhelmingly masculine, of a man, alpha male. What is

it?

Possibly the following might be part of it, but I feel very dissatisfied with my analysis of it so far, so

I am hoping for some discussion on this subject, some criticism, and some enlightenment.

The power to command,

the quiet confidence to know for sure that he will prevail, and the daring to go for it
and take what he wants. A

commanding presence even if he doesn't know it. Faint heart never won fair lady.

Fearlessness – or daring or

courage even in the face of fear. He who dares, wins. Calm assurance. The absence of any hint of asking for a favour

or appealing to pity. Directness. Activeness. Effectiveness. Not hiding behind a flirty exterior never daring to

risk being direct.

It seems easier to say what it isn't than what it is. It is not directly related to

appearance, or not obviously so to me, anyway. And whilst quiet confidence might be part of it, there are plenty of

men who are positively brimming with confidence who do not move me at all. I alluded to the alpha male idea because

it seems as though dominance is a part of it, but it seems to me to be the sort of unaffected, unselfconscious

dominance one might call “natural dominance” rather than the theatrical, affected, dominance I see in many a BDSM

‘Dom’. It does not seem as though the man needs to be aware of the effect he has, and indeed, men who appear to

think that they are God's gift to women tend to confirm me in my atheism.

On the other hand, men who have a

victim mentality, or who appeal to pity, or who plead or beg for favours, or who grovel, or who are delicate,

sensitive, mystical souls like Ayn Rand's “eminent young poet [who] was pale and slender… had a soft, sensitive

mouth, and eyes hurt by the whole universe”, or who seem helpless, or who are endlessly sorry for themselves, or who

have a bad temper that they can't control, or who otherwise appear weak, don't have it.

I assume that it is a

quality that can develop, rather than being something fixed or something you are born with. Life's experiences and

the will to make changes in yourself and your life surely can effect significant
changes. I know that I myself

have actively developed my own confidence and strength over the years, forcing
myself to “feel the fear and [dare

to] do [the scary things I passionately wanted to do] anyway”. And that this
has significantly affected the way

others see me – though as someone once pointed out to me, that in itself implies a strength of will that not

everyone has. "

[Gegogi]

"On the other hand, men

who have a victim mentality, or who appeal to pity, or who plead or beg for favours, or who grovel, or who are

delicate, sensitive, mystical souls like Ayn Rand's “eminent young poet [who] was pale and slender… had a soft,

sensitive mouth, and eyes hurt by the whole universe”, or who seem helpless, or who are endlessly sorry for

themselves, or who have a bad temper that they can't control, or who otherwise appear weak, don't have

it."

True, they may not have it but those attributes can be tools in your war chest just like NPA or

a designer shirt. In college I wanted to get laid but didn't want commitment. That meant lots of acting at parties

and bars. So once in a while, for the hell of it mostly, I'd do my broken wing routine. It didn't work well on

younger women but a little older women, especially divorcées returning to shool to start over, often fell for it. We

used to call it a mercy fuck. The victim mentality actually worked pretty good although I couldn't stomach using it

very often. Sometimes it backfired and I had a hard time getting rid of them. Incidentally, the delicate and

sensitive routine works even better, especially on married women or the recently divorced that frequented the places

I performed in. They usually assumed I was delicate and sensitive because of my slight build and musical occupation,

so I played it to the hilt. Inside I'm actually tough as nails. They say "all is fair in love and war." Now that

I'm an old fart I play it straight most of the time.

[Friendly1]

Where did all this come from?

[belgareth]

Sounds like a quote from

somewhere.

[InternationalPlayboy]

Sounds like a quote from somewhere.

Yes Icehawk, if you're going to quote

something, especially in length, please give the source of your quotation. When I first read the part below, I

thought they were your words at first.

But very occasionally (about once a decade) I have found myself

intensely affected by the mere presence of a particular man – so intensely affected that it has taken every ounce of

self-control to appear unmoved. The effect is extreme, both physically and psychologically. Primal. Overwhelming. It

feels as though the man has godlike power – the power of a man; masculine power. You feel totally held by this

power.

I scrolled up to look again at who had posted this and thought it was really different from

your other posts. I thought you had turned gay suddenly (not that there's anything wrong with that). Reading on, I

realized that you were quoting some woman's writings.

I used to frequent the Straight Dope Message Board. I

still belong but don't go there as much since I started participating here. They have very strict rules about

quoting as material may have a copyright. There, a quotation must have a cite as to where it came from, not only to

protect the message board, but also to give the author due credit.

(Incidentally, full posting of song lyrics

there are forbidden. Something I was often guilty of doing at yet another board I posted at, which doesn't exist

anymore.)

[lordcrazyd]

I've read it also, i think

somewhere on fast seduction, or askmen.com

[Icehawk]

Yeah sorry it was fast

seduction, however, the guy there took it off another forum altoghether, and even there it was by an unknown, so I

figured that posting that would simply confuse the reader, (which it did anyway) but thats besides the point. I took

interest in it because this seemed like the most thoughfull explenation of a DIHL so far, this person clearly

smelled some none/rone

[Friendly1]

It is possible this site is the

source of the article:

http://www.takeninhand.com/node/248



At the very least, it attributes it to someone.

I have not visited the site before. I don't know exactly

what kind of content it provides, but it does seem to convey a woman's (supportive) point of view on

strong/dominant male roles in relationships.